All that mattered was protecting the hearts of his children.
*
Shelby stared at the closed door, struggling to breathe through the thickness in her throat. She’d imagined her reunion with Matt in a thousand different ways, but never like that. She knew she’d hurt him when she’d broken their brief engagement, and she’d expected him to be angry. But the man who had walked out of the house wasn’t the gentle, tender boy she remembered. He was a fierce, protective guardian warning her to keep her distance from his children.
He’d made his opinion of her crystal clear. He had never forgiven her for what she’d done. She couldn’t blame him. She’d turned her back on everything he cared about. Belittled his beliefs and his dreams. She sank into a kitchen chair, fighting tears. “Small-town man with small-town dreams.”
How many times had she longed to take back her angry words? She wanted to explain to him how she’d felt that night fifteen years ago. How scared and confused she’d been. They’d had plans to go to college, to escape the backward life of Dover. But the day after he’d given her the ring, he’d changed. Instead of talking about their dreams for the future, he’d talked about settling down, staying in Dover. She’d felt betrayed. He’d said he wanted the same things she did, but apparently a ring on her finger had erased all that. Her mother’s dire warning was coming true. She’d said that ring only meant one thing, that Matt would expect her to give up her dreams for his. “You’ll be trapped here just like me.” She hadn’t wanted to believe her mother was right, but at that moment, it had seemed all too true.
It had all been so clear to her then. Either marry Matt and spend the rest of her life in a choked-off life in Mississippi or run like crazy toward college and her dreams of working on a magazine. Only one course of action had made sense. Run. It had been a matter of survival. And she’d achieved her dream. She stood at the top of her field. Though for how much longer, she didn’t know.
But at the moment she had a more urgent concern. Gramma was setting the table when she entered the kitchen. “Gramma, I can’t babysit Matt’s kids.”
“You aren’t, sweetie. I am. You’ll be my backup. It’ll be fun. They are darling kids. You’ll love them.”
“I met them this afternoon while you were gone. Their dog came over.”
“Aren’t they precious?” Gramma smiled. “Matt and Katie did a great job.”
Katie. The wife. Her throat tightened. “How did his wife die?”
“Cancer. That’s why he moved back home.”
Back home? “He hasn’t been here the whole time?”
“No. He owned some kind of big computer business in Atlanta. He sold it and moved back here about a year ago to be closer to his family.”
Shelby sorted through this new information. She’d always assumed Matt would never leave Dover. It was the crux of their breakup. It didn’t make sense.
Sinking down into the chair, she rested her elbows on the table and cradled her aching head. Could things get any worse? She’d come here to rest, ease the stress in her life, but how was she supposed to do that with Matt right next door? She’d have been better off if she’d stayed in New York. Matt’s pointed warning echoed in her mind. “He doesn’t want me watching his kids, Gramma.”
Ellen set the plates down on the table, a deep frown creasing her forehead. “Is there something between you two I should know about?”
Shelby inhaled. Great. She couldn’t avoid this any longer. “We dated.” Might as well tell it all. “We were engaged. Briefly. We broke up.” She hoped her grandmother wouldn’t press for more details. She couldn’t deal with that at the moment.
“I see. When was this?”
“The summer before I went to college. I was working at the Durrant’s hardware store. You and Grandpa were in Belize.” She shrugged as if it were insignificant, hoping her grandmother would let the subject drop.
“Oh.” Gramma lowered herself onto a chair. “I had no idea you were serious about anyone. That does make things awkward, but that was a long time ago. Why should it bother you so much now? Unless…” Gramma eyed her closely. “Ah. I see.”
Shelby squirmed. She never could hide her feelings from her grandmother.
“Well, it seems to me you two need to settle this thing between you pretty quick. It’s been going on way too long, don’t you agree?”
Chapter Three
Matt closed the lid on the Insect Man lunch box and set it beside the matching backpack. A quick glance around the kitchen revealed an escaped homework folder peeking out from under the stack of mail and flyers for his mom’s city council campaign. He pulled it out and unzipped Cassidy’s pink plaid backpack, sliding the folder inside as he called her name. “Cassidy. It’s time to go. Hurry it up, please.”
Kenny skidded to a halt beside the kitchen island, holding up his hands and baring his teeth for inspection. Matt turned the little palms over, then tilted his son’s face upward. “Looking good, sport.”
Kenny smiled and reached for his backpack. “Do we still get to go to Miss Ellen’s after school?”
Matt masked his concern with a forced smile. “Yes. And I expect you to behave yourselves.”
“Will Miss Shelby be there?” Cassidy slung her backpack over her shoulder and looked at him with expectant eyes. He stared down at her. Something was different. Her hair was sticking out on one side. He’d learned the hard way not to question his daughter’s fashion sense too vigorously. Maybe she meant it to look like that. “Uh, I suppose. But I’m sure she’ll be busy with her work, so don’t bother her. Miss Ellen is your babysitter.” And if he could make other arrangements he would. He wanted as much separation between Shelby Russell and his kids as possible.
“Okay, everyone to the van. We’re running out of time.”
Kenny’s eyes widened. “You mean we get to ride to school in the Handy Works van?”
“’Fraid so. I left my car at Grandpa’s store yesterday.”
Cassidy’s shoulders sagged, and she exhaled a disgusted whine. “Can’t we go get our car first? The van is ugly.”
“Ugly or not, it’s your only mode of transportation this morning.” Matt touched her shoulder, steering her toward the door.
“At least I’ll get to see Miss Shelby when I get home.”
Matt groaned inwardly. He had no choice about babysitters for the next couple of days, but he fully intended to beat every bush and look behind every tree until he found someone else to watch his kids.
Pulling the door closed behind him, Matt followed his kids to the van. Confident in his plan.
*
Shelby stared out the kitchen window at Matt’s house. She’d been forced to alter her assumptions about him. Not only had Matt left Dover, but he’d had a successful business and a wonderful marriage. Losing his wife had wounded him deeply. The grief reflected in his eyes still haunted her. As did his very pointed warning.
Did Matt think she would deliberately hurt his kids? Probably. He was assuming that she would walk out on them the way she had him. He wasn’t going to forgive her, and she had no one to blame but herself. She was finally reaping what she had sown.
So how was she supposed to babysit and still keep her distance? Hopefully, most of the babysitting duties would fall to Gramma and she’d keep a very low profile for the next few weeks.
The mantel clock in the living room struck the half hour, jerking Shelby rudely from her computer screen. Two-thirty. She’d worked through lunch, and now Cassidy and Kenny were due home soon and Gramma wasn’t home yet. A rush of anxiety warmed her blood. Where was she? After dialing Ellen’s cell number, Shelby waited impatiently. No answer. She tried again a few minutes later with the same result. This was not good.
Shelby paced the living room, her gaze darting through the front window to the end of the driveway. Matt would not be happy if she ended up being the babysitter today. With a nervous sigh Shelby stepped out onto the front porch and stood at the edge of the steps. There was nothi
ng she could do but make sure Matt’s kids were safe and sound when he came home. How hard could that be? She really liked his kids. She’d lost her heart to them the moment she’d met them. If it wasn’t for his staunch disapproval of her, she’d be looking forward to spending time with them.
The low rumble of a diesel engine sounded in the distance. Shelby moved down the porch steps to the sidewalk, watching as the big yellow bus stopped and opened its doors. Kenny was off first, his little legs breaking into a run that sent his backpack bobbing up and down. He waved, a huge happy smile on his face as he raced toward her.
“Hi. I beat Cass. She walks too slow.”
Shelby laughed out loud. She was shocked to realize it had been a very long time since she’d known any true joy. The bus pulled away, and Shelby watched as Cassidy waved to someone then started toward her.
“Hi. I’m glad you’re going to watch us.”
The child’s comment sent a rush of warmth through Shelby’s heart. “Me, too. I’m looking forward to spending time with both of you.” It was the truth. Whatever problems Matt had, whatever reservations he held, he’d have to handle on his own. She wasn’t going to close herself off from these adorable children just because he harbored an old grudge.
“Miss Ellen left you some cookies. Are you hungry?” The responses were unanimous. Shelby followed the energetic kids up the steps and into the house. For the next three hours she was going to enjoy herself. Matt Durrant could just deal with it.
*
Matt pulled into the driveway, parking his car close to the side door of the house. His tension eased when he saw Ellen’s car parked in its normal spot. He’d managed to get off work early. He hadn’t been comfortable with the kids being around Shelby. He asked around the campus but found no alternative child care. He’d even called the local nanny service, but the cost was ridiculous. Hopefully he’d be able to make different arrangements over the weekend. His kids were still fragile emotionally. He had to make sure they were protected.
A firm tap on Ellen’s front door brought no response. Ellen rarely locked her door, so he tapped again then eased it open. He smiled when he recognized his children’s laughter. “Hello, anybody here? It’s me.”
“Daddy’s home!” Kenny’s shout echoed through the house. Matt stepped into the foyer in time to catch his son as he propelled himself up into his arms. “Hey, sport. Sounds like you’re having a good time.”
Kenny nodded and let go. “We’re looking at pictures of you. Come see.”
“Me?” Matt followed his son into the dining room, trying to find a reason why Ellen would have pictures of him. Cassidy was seated at one end of the table, her chair pulled close to Shelby’s. A board game was laid out on the opposite end. His daughter looked over her shoulder and smiled, sending his heart into meltdown. His little princess had him tightly wrapped around her sweet little finger.
“Hey, Daddy. Come see. We found pictures of you in high school. Look, look.” She motioned him to look over her shoulder. Matt moved forward, noticing for the first time the smile on Shelby’s face. Her brown eyes sparkled, highlighting the gold flecks, and there was a soft rosy glow in her cheeks. She looked contented and happy. Matt stepped to his daughter’s right side, away from Shelby, but the faint flowery scent of her fragrance drifted around him.
“Look, Dad, that’s you.” Cassidy pointed to a picture in a yearbook. He had to smile. Had he ever looked that young? He chuckled softly deep in his throat. “That would be me, all right.”
“You have lots of pictures in here.”
Matt reached out and folded back the cover to check the date. His senior year. “Yeah, I was pretty active that year. How did this turn up at Ellen’s house?” He directed his question to Shelby.
“It’s mine. I bought one every year. I was usually on the staff, so.” She shrugged. “I kept a lot of my things here at Gramma’s. We didn’t have much room in our apartment, and my mom liked to throw things out.”
“So where’s Ellen? I assumed she’d be here.” He felt like a heel when Shelby blanched at his question. But he’d arranged for her grandmother to watch the kids. Not her.
“She’s next door. Mrs. Horvath is under the weather, and she took her a casserole.”
Kenny had climbed back into his chair on the other side of his sister. “Daddy, is Mommy’s picture in the book?”
Matt braced against the pain the simple question stirred up. Would it always be this way? “No, son. Your mom didn’t grow up in Dover.”
“Where did she grow up?”
“In Savannah, Georgia. Remember, we went to the beach there right before she got sick?”
“I remember.” Cassidy’s happy mood had vanished.
Time to get his kids back into their own safe space. “Come on, kids. We’d better go home. You have homework, and we need to start supper.”
“We did our homework first thing.” Cassidy pushed back from the table.
“Dad, can we look at pictures of Mom after supper?”
“Sure, son.” He turned toward the door, aware of Shelby following behind him and also aware that he had to thank her. The kids gathered up their backpacks, then clustered near him at the front door.
“Matt.” He wasn’t in the mood to talk to her, but he couldn’t be rude. She had kept his children safe and entertained. He pulled open the door and gestured his kids to leave. “Y’all go on over to the house. I’ll be along in a minute.” He turned to face Shelby.
“I hope I didn’t cause any trouble with the yearbooks. It never occurred to me that they’d expect to see pictures of their mother.”
“Not your fault. I never know when the questions will come. They catch me off guard all the time.”
“I can’t image how difficult this is for you and the children. She was obviously a wonderful mother.”
“She was.” Sweet recollections drifted through his mind, but this time without the biting sting. “She was funny, always thinking of new ways to entertain them. She knew exactly what to say and do for any situation. Losing her traumatized the kids. Especially Cassidy. I put her in counseling for a while. She was like a lost puppy.”
“Is that why you moved back home, to be around your family?”
Her question made him realize that he’d been spilling his guts to Shelby. Absolutely not what he’d intended. But then, she’d always been easy to talk to. She knew things about him no one else did. But she didn’t need to know about his pain and loss. Not that she’d care. She was only passing through.
He had to remember his primary goal here. Keep his kids from any more heartbreak. “Yes. I felt they needed some stability. Some security. Atlanta was too full of memories. I sold my business and everything else and came home.” He held her gaze, willing her to understand what he was about to say. “My kids have suffered deeply in losing their mother. I want them to be surrounded by people who love them as much as I do. I want them to have people in their lives they can depend on, who won’t walk out when they need them most.” He stopped, realizing he wasn’t talking about his family anymore. He saw Shelby’s brown eyes darken.
“People like me, Matt?”
He set his jaw. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Matt turned to leave. “Tell Ellen thanks. I’m still looking for other babysitting options. I know she misses her volunteer work, and I don’t like imposing on you.”
Shelby crossed her arms over her chest. “Because I’m not dependable?”
No sense playing games. “No. You’re not.”
* *
The afternoon light streamed through the windowed walls of the sunroom on the back of Gramma’s house, casting a warm glow on the cozy space. Curled up in the old chaise, a magazine in her lap, she reveled in the familiar sense of peace. She glanced around the room at the stacks of magazines and smiled. She’d fallen in love with magazines because of her gramma. She’d hurry over here after school and lose herself in the glossy pages of beaut
iful rooms, filled with beautiful people doing beautiful things. Life within the pages was always perfect and happy. Magazines allowed her to escape her mother’s bitterness and forget for a while that she didn’t fit in at school.
She could almost relax completely, if it weren’t for Cassidy and Kenny coming over shortly. After a quick hello yesterday, she’d escaped to her room, explaining she had work to do and leaving Gramma to watch over the kids. She’d missed being with them but it allowed her to avoid Matt. She hadn’t come out of her room until she’d seen the three Durrants walking across the drive to their house.
Gramma’s advice had hovered in the back of her mind. It was time to settle the past. All this huffing and puffing was silly. But how did they do that when it was clear that Matt would never forgive her for walking out?
Today, however, she couldn’t use work as an excuse to avoid babysitting. Gramma had called to say she’d been invited to dinner and a movie with friends. She wanted to know if Shelby was okay with keeping the kids. Shelby couldn’t refuse. Her grandmother deserved a night out, but that left her to deal with Matt’s disapproval.
She set her jaw. She was not going to worry herself into knots over this. Matt needed someone responsible to keep the kids; she was his only option. All she could do was be as conscientious as possible, and hopefully in time he’d come to trust her.
Squealing air brakes sounded outside, and she found herself smiling, even as a trickle of nervousness formed. What did she know about taking care of children? She’d certainly never learned anything from her mother. She’d always made motherhood seem like a burden, the worse choice a woman could make. But Matt’s adorable kids were making her take a new look at some of her assumptions.
Shelby met the children halfway down the drive. “Hello there.” Seeing their sweet, happy faces warmed her heart in a way she’d never experienced before. Cassidy fell into step with her as they made their way back toward Gramma’s house. Kenny raced ahead.
“I’m glad it’s Friday. No school for two whole days.”
“Don’t you like school?”
Rekindled Romance Page 4