"It's a place. No problem."
"Anyway... it's a historical building, so they won't rip it down, which I get, but..." She pinned me with a hard stare. "Just check with your folks. I don't want to do anything that might affect you negatively."
"Okay." I turned and walked to my desk, the conversation having moved from comfortable to completely awkward in a matter of minutes.
My counselor, Miss Baxter was Sweet, young, innocent and completely floored as to why I was coming to see her. I was too. My parents felt it would be good that I talk through my feelings and experiences with someone, but I didn't have anything odd or dark to share.
I watched scary movies and sometimes those movies bled out in my nightmares. Big damn deal. I grumbled to myself and glanced over as Kat walked in. Her head was downcast and she wore a weird floppy hat, which was not at all her style.
"Hey," I whispered and reached out, brushing my hand over her forearm as she took her seat beside me. "Dressing up for Halloween early?"
She turned and lifted her face to me, a frown on her mouth and a huge bruise covering her left eye.
"Oh my God," I whispered roughly.
"Hush. I don't want any attention drawn to me."
"Who did that to you?"
"It doesn't matter." She shrugged and turned to lean over her backpack.
"It does matter."
"No. It doesn't." She jerked from me and I let it go. I would find her later and see who was going to get beat three ways to Wednesday by me or Brent if I wasn't big enough. Heck, Zach was big enough to put a hurting on almost anyone in the school too. I would just tell him.
I sunk down in my chair and glanced at Kat once more, hurting for her. It was bad enough to be in pain at school, but to have everyone talking about you and whispering behind your back... horrifying.
Mrs. Kaapke began her lecture, which was completely ineffective due to the insanely loud smacking of her gum. I went to a happy place in my head, filled with dark trees and spooky music. Zach was always with me, snuggle into the side of me because he was a chicken shit. I loved him even more because of it.
I must have been lost in my head longer than I thought, because the bell rang and I jumped up to find Kat already gone. Glancing behind me, I caught Sadie's glare. I turned away and packed up, knowing I wasn't going to get away without having to talk to the witch. She had been in love with Zach for as long as I had, but he didn't give her the time of day. No wonder. She was a replica of the sea-monster, at least in persona and attitude.
"I'm surprised you have friends at all, Miller." Sadie stopped by my desk and leaned toward me. Her bright red hair came from the coloring available only in a bottle at Walgreen's. Her fake blue eyes were only outdone by the plastic boobs her mom let her get. It was a pity gift when Sadie's dad left them for the town floozy.
"I think it's only the football guys that call each other by their last names. Last I checked, that ain't us. Don't pop my butt when I walk by. Alright? You and me..." I pointed at her and back at myself a few times. "We aren't that close."
"Funny, Jenn. Love how you're still using humor to divert the crazy that lays within inside of you." She twirled her finger around her ear and widened her eyes. "Does everyone else know that you're seeing a shrink? That your parents have done all they can and now you just need meds to appear normal?"
I smiled nefariously and licked my teeth. "I would respond to that, but every time I see you, all I see is a sad little slut, sitting in any guy’s lap who will let her. Do you really think that if you sleep with everyone, that one of them might finally like you enough to not leave like your daddy did?"
She slapped me hard before I could respond. I nodded as tears burned my eyes from the pain of it. I deserved to be hit. Since when was I willing to sink as low as her.
"Go ahead and punch me in the face like you did, Katrina. You're such a good friend, Jenn." She shrugged and walked off as I tried to get my jaw to shut.
"I didn't hit, Kat. I would never hurt her. Idiot." I glanced around before walking to the door. There were only a few kids to watch the drama of what went down between me and Sadie, but each one of them had their phones out. Everyone would know by the end of the day. Some part of me could care less.
I moved through the motions of the day until lunch, which was the first opportunity for me to see Carl. I grabbed a sandwich from the cold cuts line in the cafeteria and walked out to the park benches in the back of the school, needing a minute to get away from everyone.
Kat wouldn't talk to me, which almost solidified my hitting her, but I would have remembered something like that. If I had gone to the party and drank too much, it would have been possible, but I didn't.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and checked the time of my texts with Zach. A little after eleven. After I'd left Carl and gone back into the house. I hadn't blacked out or had another dizzy spell. Everything was fine. She went to the party like I told her not to and she got smacked most likely for talking crap to someone aggressive and mean. I would force her to tell me who later in the day. I was too tired to deal with it now.
So what if I was seeing a counselor? Lots of kids did and almost every adult in our jacked up little town was. I couldn't sit in Miss. Baxter's small office on the square without saying hi to a million people I knew. The lady was banking as the only psychiatrist in our town. She'd given me drugs for the nightmares at first, but they made me loopy during the day, which wasn't going to work.
My parents were being less than compliant, but I understood their concerns. I would see the doctor until she cleared me, which would be sooner than later if I had any say in it. I was highly manipulative, which meant that my energy would soon be focused on tricking out the doctor.
"This seat taken?" Zach moved up and patted the bench beside me.
"It is now." I smiled and offered him half of my sandwich. "Hungry?"
The sunlight moved past his face and illuminated the green of his eyes. I leaned closer and reached for his face, but he jerked back.
"What?" He wiped at his face as if trying to get a bug off of him."
"Nothing, silly. I was just looking at the color of your eyes. They're beautiful." I wagged the sandwich at him, not willing to over analyze his reaction to me. "Here. I can't eat this."
"Good. I can." Carl's voice scared me and I turned to find him standing right in front of me.
He jerked the sandwich from my fingers and ate it in two bites. "Yum. Thanks, babe."
I stood up and got in his face. "How dare you. I wasn't offering that to you. Asshole."
"I'm the only one here and you're my girlfriend. Or did you forget?" He leaned down and got in my face, forcing me to take a step back.
Zach sat beside us, turning to look off into the distance as if he were going to do nothing to help me.
UGH. Coward!
Well, I wasn't backing down. I'd always been the bigger bully out of the two of us anyway.
"I didn't forget anything. You're the one who make out with Sadie freaking McIntosh. How low can you go?" I pushed at his chest, forcing him back a few steps.
He smiled and licked at his lips. "I wouldn't have to do that if my freaking girlfriend wasn't such a prude."
"A prude?" I growled and took another step toward him. "Just because I don't like the taste of your big sloppy wet tongue halfway down my throat doesn't mean I'm a prude."
I glanced back to pin Zach with a stare to find him gone. Oh man was he going to get it later. I knew he hated to fight, but really? What did it say about him that he would leave me standing there with someone as big and scary as Carl in my face?
"Hey. I'm right here." Carl took my chin and jerked me back toward him.
I swatted him away. "Get away from me."
"Fine. I was just trying to help you keep your status anyway. Half this school knows your bat-shit crazy. You're just too beautiful to give up on, Jenny."
"It's Jennifer and consider yourself dumped. Worse mistake I've ever made." I push
ed past him, pissed at his accusations and hurt by Zach leaving me there to defend myself. I never would have done that to him.
"Worse than punching Kat Friday night? Pretty low, Jenny. Even for you..."
I jerked around and narrowed my eyes. "I didn't hit Kat. Whoever started that rumor is a damn liar."
Chapter Five
I tapped my leg furiously as I sat in a thin plastic chair in the waiting room at Miss Baxter's office. Zach had texted his apologies over and over for the last hour, but I wasn't willing to accept them yet. After having Kat avoid me all day, Sadie sneer at me during cheer practice and Carl tell everyone that I'd slept with him over the weekend... I was done.
They could all rot in hell.
That would actually make a great movie. I could produce it and have each of them die in a horrid and painful way.
What? It's only a movie.
"Jennifer? You ready to come see me?"
I walked in as Sadie's mother walked out of the open door, sniffling. Her face was red and puffy. I almost felt bad for being so hateful to her daughter. She gave me a weak smile and I adverted my eyes. I didn't want to feel anything that might soften my resolve to hate Sadie with a passion. She was jealous of the relationship I had with Zach, and yet it didn't feel like much of a relationship at all right now.
Sitting down on the brown leather sofa, I slipped off my shoes and tucked my feet under me. I decided to forgo the usual, 'I'm really not sure why I'm here' for the day and just let the shrink do her job. After the craptastic day I'd had, I probably needed to be sitting on her couch.
Dr. Baxter closed the door and walked to me, flashing me a motherly smile and taking a seat in the chair nearest me. Her red cardigan looked like something my grandmother would make. It swallowed the petite woman whole. She would've been pretty if she didn't work so hard not to be.
"Is it part of the job to try and not look flashy?" I slapped my hand over my mouth, horrified that the words had come out. I might need counseling. I obviously had trouble controlling my tongue. "I am so sorry. I was just thinking how beautiful you are, but your clothes, or really your sweater... okay, I'm going to stop now."
She laughed and shook her head. "You're the best part of my week. Did you know that?"
"Really? That's almost ironic right now."
"Because you're real. So many people come in here and work so hard to keep everything locked up in front of me for the hour they're here. People want help from a hypothetical perspective. My friend has this issue, but never them. It's never personal. You're an open book for the most part." She glanced down at her sweater. "This is pretty bad, isn't it?"
"Yeah," I mumbled and laughed again. I'd give her one thing... she was authentic too. That was the only reason I wasn't being a complete butt about coming.
"It's a diversion. If I'm attractive then all your focus on is me." She tapped her pencil against her lips. "Did you know that studies show that people are forty-three percent less likely to trust an attractive individual whose clothes are on fleek?"
"That you know the term 'on fleek' means I'm not at all trusting you. Count me in that forty-three percent." I smirked as she laughed again.
"Alright, funny girl. What are we talking about this week?"
"Totally up to you. I've got half an hour to sit here and blab about confessions from the head cheerleader of Jefferson High." I wagged my eyebrows and let out a soft sigh, forcing myself to relax and not use my humor as a diversion. This was the only place I didn't have to do that.
"How are things with Carl?" She glanced down at her notes and back up at me. "Last time we spoke, they were fine, but static. Anything good happening there?"
"Nope. He had sex with my arch enemy Friday night at a party I refused to go to because they were drinking."
"Good choice on your part, horrible one on his." She put her file down on the table beside her. "Did you break up with him?"
"Yes. At school today, during lunch. I was sitting there and Zach walked up, so I offered him half of my sandwich. He didn't want it, but Carl apparently did. He snatched it up and ate it. Zach just freaking sat there, not that I expected too much from him. He never was one to start a fight." I grumbled and shook my head, still pissed. I was going to give him a serious ear full about the situation later that night.
"Zach's back?" She tilted her head, studying me.
"Yeah. I saw him on Friday at the game. He just got back into town, which is good and bad." I glanced down at my nails, picking at them. I hated talking about him. She was more than aware that I was in love with my best friend, which statistics would show never worked out.
"That's great news. How did he look?"
I glanced up. "Great. He's put on a little bit of weight and his hair is a little longer."
"I'm still surprised the swimming coach let him miss the first few weeks of school."
"Me too, but either way, I'm glad he's here. We met at the dock on Friday night after the game and fished for a while. It was nice." Heat rose up my chest and left me feeling all of ten.
"Who did he sit with at the game?"
"He sat beside his mom. His parents were next to mine in the stands. They've been friends forever though."
"How is his mom? Is she getting any better?" Dr. Baxter brushed something off her leg and I glanced up, giving her my attention again.
"Not from what I could tell. She was pale and looked frail. I guess whatever she has isn't letting go of her. Maybe she should come talk to you."
"She does." The counselor nodded and smiled kindly. "She talks a lot about you and Zach."
"Really?" I wasn't surprised. After Friday night where he pulled me in for a kiss and snuggled me at the dock, I was pretty sure our relationship was getting ready to move to the next level.
"Yeah. She finds a lot of comfort when you come to visit them. She said you haven't been all summer. Not since Zach left."
"It's kinda weird, but I haven't. I mean, I used to go all the time, but it was always to see him. What am I supposed to do? Show up with cookies and lament to his mom about how much I miss him? How badly I wish we were together-together."
"Do you lament over him being gone?"
I ran my hand over the top of my head. "Of course I did. When he was gone. Now that he's back... no."
"Does he know how you feel? Does he feel the same way?"
"I don't think he really knows, but he kissed me last night."
Her eyes widened a little and I couldn't tell if she was excited or worried. She was an adult after all. "You're not telling my parents this crap, right?"
"Not unless it's dangerous to your health. I don't think a kiss is dangerous." She chuckled and I relaxed.
"It was a nice kiss, but I wish it would have lasted longer." I shrugged and went back to messing with my nails before realizing something. "Oh!"
"Oh?"
"So this morning in my history class, my other best friend, Kat..."
"I know Kat."
"Right, so Kat came in with this big-ass hat on and sat down. I got her attention and she had a shiner. Someone punched her in the face over the weekend."
"That's not good. Did she tell you who did it?"
"No. She wouldn't say anything to me. I tried to find her right after lunch and I guess she'd already gone home. Both Sadie and Carl said I did it, but I know I didn't. I would never hurt her."
"Do you remember having a time in the weekend that was fuzzy or passing out somewhere?" She moved to the edge of her seat and clasped her hands together. Her voice was soft and very counselor like. It caused me to stiffen.
She's considering the possibility that I hit Kat.
"No. I don't black out or randomly attack my friends." I was closing up, but it was her own damn fault. She shouldn't have pulled out the big guns on me. The idea that I was blacking out and beating people randomly had to be like crack cocaine to a psychiatrist.
"I never said that, Jennifer. I was just making sure you didn't have any unexplained time in yo
ur weekend."
"I didn't." I crossed my arms and glanced up at the clock on the wall. I was ready to go. A switch had flipped inside of me and hostility was all I wanted to throw around the room.
"So, Halloween's coming up. Tell me your plans. I know it's your favorite holiday." She sat back and shifted her tone back into something more casual.
"Zach and I are doing something for his birthday. Speaking of..." I reached in my back pack and pulled out my history assignment. I extended it to her and she took the paper, still looking up at me.
"What's this?"
"One of the projects for my history class is to do a report on something historical in Jefferson. I asked to do my project on the Vandercamp Mansion and my teacher wants it approved by you and my parents. Odd request, but I guess she's covering her butt."
I shrugged and waited for twenty questions that were sure to come.
"If I sign this, you have to promise me two things."
"What are they?" I pulled a pen out of my bag and handed it to her.
"You only go during the day and I get a full report on how it went." She winked, took the pen and signed the paper.
"Done. That was easier than I thought." I chuckled and tucked the permission slip back into my bag. My parents might be a harder sell, but Brent had their signatures down. For a twenty dollar bill he would do anything, including forging mom and dad's John Handcock.
"Yes, well, I'm not at all a superstitious person. I believe the old building has a heinous history and it's not really something you should be digging in seeing that your nightmares are far worse than most girl's your age, but I don't need to be the bad guy here." She stood and ran her hands down her dress.
"Why's that?" I stood too, grateful that it looked like she might let me go a little early.
"Because there's no way your folks are going to let you go."
"This is true." I smiled and picked up my bag. "Nothing we say in here is going to get to them unless I'm putting myself in harm of death or dismemberment?"
Darkness Echoes: A Spooky YA Short Story Collection Page 3