by Kit Kyndall
She’d worn the same clothes for the last three days, and she couldn’t bear the thought of climbing into them again. She’d been too tired earlier to worry about lack of clothing, and she’d slipped into the fresh sheets with her freshly washed body and nothing else. Now, she took a moment to check the dresser, hoping to find spare clothing left behind by someone else. The drawers were bare though, as was the closet.
In a last-ditch effort, Julia went into the bathroom, hoping to find a robe hanging over the hook. There wasn’t one, so she settled for one of the towels. At least they were bath sheets, and it wrapped around her snugly, hiding far more than it revealed. It would have to do if she ran into Justin Harbor.
After securing her bath towel, she bent to pick up the clothes she’d left on the floor earlier in the day, hoping to find a washing machine and dryer without disturbing her reluctant host. He was likely sleeping, and that suited her well enough.
She tiptoed from the guestroom, glancing down the hall, but seeing no other lights under the doors. She took that as a good sign, assuming he was asleep, and she moved quietly through the house back toward the kitchen.
It didn’t take long to find the laundry room, and she opened the washer and dropped in her bundle of clothes before adding soap. The shelf was a little bit high, so she had to strain to reach it, and she had just wrapped her fingers around the bottle when she heard his rough voice behind her.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Her heart jumped in her chest, and she let out a little squeak of surprise as she pulled the bottle down the rest of the way, losing her grip on it so that it slammed into the washer with a thunk. She whirled to face him, glaring at him. “I’m doing laundry, and you don’t have to try to scare the crap out of me.”
He’d gone silent, and his eyes were wide, focused on a particular part of her anatomy. He let out a strangled choking sound, but didn’t say anything else. Abruptly, he turned on his heel and fled the laundry room.
She looked down, heat scorching her face when she realized somehow in her scramble to confront him, she’d managed to catch the towel against the lid of the washer when it slammed closed as the soap bottle hit it, leaving her towel gaping open and revealing her front side. She had just flashed him.
With a groan, she hastily re-secured the towel and finished loading the washer with soap, deciding she might as well finish what she’d started. In fact, she took her time, but could find no reason to delay after a few minutes.
Her stomach was still rumbling, so she headed to the kitchen. She hoped he had vacated the area, but she realized she wasn’t that lucky when she stepped inside and saw him sitting at his table, a large cup of coffee in front of him. “Coffee at two a.m. will keep you up all night.”
It was difficult to make out what he said, but it sounded like he said, “I’m already going be up all night anyway.”
Rather than assuming insomnia, her mind immediately jumped to the encounter in the laundry room, and she briefly wondered if he was referring to being awake, or physically aroused. She shouldn’t care either way, and she most certainly shouldn’t get a slight thrill at the idea of causing him to be aroused.
Clearing her throat, she went to the coffee machine, relieved to find it filled with almost a full pot. It felt a bit rude, but since he hadn’t offered her a cup, she acted on her own initiative and opened the cabinet above the coffeemaker. As she had assumed, that was where he had kept his mugs, and she took a large one and filled it with black coffee before adding a couple of cubes of sugar. “Do you have cream?”
He shook his head. “There’s milk in the fridge.”
It would have to do. She opened his refrigerator, finding the milk immediately, and tried not to inventory the contents. Her gaze landed on a thick slab of bacon, and her stomach growled. As she let the refrigerator close behind her so she could turn back to her coffee to add milk, she asked, “Are you hungry? I could make us some breakfast. Or dinner. I’m not sure what it would be.”
He grunted, which was an ambiguous sound that she took for affirmation. She’d rather make too much of his food and have him not eat than make just enough for herself only to discover his grunt had been a yes. She didn’t understand why he was so non-communicative, but she returned the milk to the fridge and set about making a quick breakfast.
He’d made no attempt to speak to her as she cooked, and she was almost surprised to find him still at the table she turned to less than twenty minutes later, holding two plates of crisp bacon, fluffy scrambled eggs, and triangles of sourdough toast. She placed his in front of him and put hers at the seat that was kitty-corner, having to resist the urge to put it at the other end of the table. “Which drawer has your silverware?”
“By the sink.”
She was almost surprised to get an answer from him as she turned back and retrieved silverware for them before returning to the table and taking the seat, a fresh cup of coffee in her hand.
He took the fork she offered, scooping up a bite of eggs before he spoke. “That’s good. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. It’s the least I can do. If you don’t have a housekeeper coming in already, I can take over some of the household chores while I’m staying here. I can’t officially work without identification, but I can help out like that.” He sniffed, and she assumed it was a rejection of her offer. She started to shrug it off when he spoke.
“I don’t have a housekeeper. Most of the folks of Sunshine won’t come up here. Even for money.”
Her heart skipped a beat at the words as she tried to tamp down the sudden surge of apprehension that filled her. “Why is that?” She made a production of drinking a long sip of coffee as she asked the question, careful not to glance completely in his direction. It seemed to make him uncomfortable when their gazes met.
Perhaps it was because of the scar down his face, but she didn’t think it was that bad. It was just a long, thin bisection on his left cheek that had a ragged edge at the starting and ending points. It actually made him look dangerous and on the sexy side, rather than repulsive. Still, she imagined he was sensitive about it.
“I grew up here, and my family was no good. My father was a drunken, violent loser, and they see me the same way. I’m not sure why I ever came back here.”
Without thinking, she reached out to touch his hand in a comforting fashion. “I’m sorry they’re judging you on the actions of your dad. That isn’t right, and it isn’t fair.”
He jerked at her touch, but didn’t pull away. “It’s not just his actions. I was pretty messed up when I got back. Still am.” He made the admission in a neutral voice, but his shoulders had stiffened when he said it. “Before they stopped serving me, I went to the bar way too much, drank too much, and got into fights. It didn’t solve anything, but at least I wasn’t feeling anything except numb when I was fighting.” He shrugged. “I can’t blame them for being wary.”
She was surprised by his forthright admission, which she took as an encouraging sign that perhaps he wouldn’t be a total curmudgeon the entire time she stayed with him. “I’m sorry you’re struggling.” She didn’t know what else to say, and that seemed to be enough. He just nodded once tersely, and they resumed eating in silence.
Several minutes later, he looked up from his almost cleared plate to glance at her towel before meeting her gaze. “I guess…um… You don’t have any other clothes?”
She shook her head, tugging self-consciously at the towel, face heating as she remembered the way she’d inadvertently flashed him less than an hour ago. “I didn’t have time to grab anything. If it hadn’t been for some ladies I met at the bus stop, I would’ve still been wearing clothes stained with Andre’s blood.”
He cleared his throat. “I probably have a couple of things you could borrow for tonight, and then if you’re up for it tomorrow, I’ll drive you into town. You’re not going to find a big selection, but there’s a general store that carries some clothes and a western store, if you prefer boots a
nd the like.”
She bit her lip. “I think I could afford a few things.” There wasn’t a whole lot of choice in the matter. As much as she wanted to cling to the few hundred dollars left in her possession in case she had to make a hasty retreat from Justin’s place, she also couldn’t get by on just one set of clothes.
“If you’re going to be acting like the housekeeper, it seems like I should pay you a wage for that.”
She gave him a tentative smile. “That’s far too generous of you. I’m already intruding.”
“It’s not a problem. I remember taking things from charity when I was a kid, and it felt wrong even then. It especially felt wrong when my loser father found out my mom had accepted some help and beat her for it. I won’t put anybody in a position where they’re forced to feel that way if I can help it. You work for me, I pay you, and we’re equals.”
For some reason, tears burned her eyes, and she had to blink them back. She wasn’t certain if it was an emotional reaction to the brief picture of his childhood he painted, or his touching insistence on treating her like an equal, though they both knew he didn’t want her there. Either way, she was happy to accept his offer, and she cleared her throat as she nodded. “That sounds very fair then. Thank you, Mr. Harbor.”
He shrugged. “Justin.”
“And I’m Julia. Don’t forget it,” she said with a tentative smile.
For a millisecond, heat smoldered in his eyes, and his gaze locked on hers. She was certain she wasn’t imagining the flash of desire there before it just as quickly faded away.
“I’m not likely to forget anything about you, Julia.”
Especially since he’d seen her naked. She filled in that part all on her own, but she couldn’t help thinking that was where his thoughts had taken him too. Awkwardly, she looked away from him and seized on moving the plates off the table as an excuse to break the hold his gaze had on her.
“Thank you for the food,” said Justin as he got to his feet, nodding his head at her before leaving the kitchen.
She quickly dealt with the dishes, washing them by hand since there were only a few, and returned them to the cupboard. After that, she switched over her laundry and waited in the laundry room for it to dry. All the while, her thoughts remained centered on the man who was offering her a safe place, albeit reluctantly, and seemed to find her attractive.
Since the pull was mutual, she’d have to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid, like fall into bed with him. She couldn’t risk forming ties under the circumstances, and it sounded like Justin came with a heap of mental baggage. She had enough of her own problems to deal with, and taking on someone else’s wasn’t a good idea under the circumstances.
Justin prowled the confines of the master bedroom, locking himself in his room instead of going into the living room as he usually did when he couldn’t sleep. Sometimes, a mindless television show coupled with a few shots of Jack Daniels could put him in a trancelike state, where he could find restful sleep, at least briefly. Tonight, he didn’t want to risk sharing the space with his unexpected guest, clad as she was only in a bath towel—a towel that he was intimately aware of how quickly could come loose and spill her secrets.
He was still hard and aching from the brief glimpse he had gotten of her body, and each time he thought about the encounter, it renewed his arousal. He’d gotten used to being comfortably numb, to not feeling the throbbing ache of desire for a woman, except briefly and in passing. The few times he’d been aroused enough in the last year-and-a-half to want release, he quickly dealt with it on his own.
Life was simpler and far less complicated without bringing a woman into the mix. He was still too fucked up in the head to wish himself on any woman, so he’d steered clear. It’d been easy when he hadn’t felt the need for companionship, but having Julia so close was a temptation he hadn’t expected, and didn’t welcome.
Still, he couldn’t keep treating her like she was a pariah, and he’d make an effort to be more welcoming, if not friendly. He couldn’t quite manage the feat of being friends and maintain distance between them. That distance was crucial for him and her. He just had to remember that, and he’d have to viciously remind himself of that any time he was tempted by her physical presence.
Even worse, he sensed she had a tender soul, and she would probably unthinkingly offer comfort if he seemed to be in distress. That could lead to something that was inadvisable for both of them, so he had to be on his guard. Julia Dennings brought danger with her, but he was far more worried about his emotional safeguards than the external forces that might track her there.
5
The shopping choices were exactly as Justin had described. They went by the feed store first, and the western wear store bordered it. While he ordered supplies for his horses, which appeared to be the only animals he kept on the ranch, and the only nod toward it being a ranch at all, she slipped into the store and browsed the shelves.
Julia was a city girl through and through, but she couldn’t deny the cowboy boots were adorable. She ended up selecting a pair of teal-colored boots with silver buckles and a deeper teal leather fringe. She also grabbed a couple of pairs of jeans, but kept her purchases modest. Even though she would technically be earning a salary for housekeeping, she wasn’t certain how much that would be, or when Justin would start paying her. In the interim, it made sense to be frugal.
After collecting her purchases, she met him at the feed store, where he had turned his truck around, and two employees were currently loading several bags into the back for him. She frowned when she saw the wary gazes they kept directing his way, steering clear of Justin as they loaded his truck without speaking.
She wasn’t certain why, but she was moved to approach them, standing close enough to him to press her arm against his. It was supposed to be a statement showing the two young men loading his truck that there was nothing to fear, but instead, it made her breath hitch in her throat, and her heart raced at the proximity. Her hand was close to his, and if he hadn’t stepped away, she probably would have made a fool of herself and reached for it.
Clearing her throat, and reminding herself mentally of why she needed to maintain distance, she stepped away from him, saying, “I got everything I needed there, but I’d still like to stop by the general store please.”
At his nod, she turned away and slipped into the cab of the truck, not looking at him again until he joined her a few minutes later. The silence that stretched between them was much as it had been on the drive to Sunshine from his ranch, but it’d had a more comfortable edge earlier. Her inadvertent encroachment on his space had introduced a new level of tension between them, and it made the silence uncomfortable.
Just as she was casting about for something to talk about, they drew up in front of the general store. She breathed a sigh of relief to be able to slip from the truck, and though they walked in together, there was enough space between them that they could have conceivably been two random strangers who happened to enter the establishment at the same time rather than two people who had arrived together. For some reason, that made her sad, though she shrugged off the reaction and tried to push it down deep.
The general store had a few racks of clothing in the usual sizes, and they were all cheaply made, but that suited her budget well. She picked a selection of sleepwear and outerwear, along with a pair of tennis shoes and underwear. They were in and out in less than fifteen minutes, and soon heading down the main street of town, back to his ranch.
As they neared a diner, she said, “Is it all right if we stop for a bite to eat? I mean, I could cook, but…” She trailed off, stifling a yawn. Her sleep schedule was out of sync with the norm, and she was struggling to stay awake, having been up all night. It was almost two in the afternoon, and she’d been awake a full twelve hours. She was struggling to stay awake at least a few more so she could be on a more regular schedule. The idea of cooking when she was so tired was unappealing.
He grunted, which must have bee
n a yes, because they pulled into the parking lot of the diner a few minutes later. She reached for her seat belt and unfastened it, starting to get out when she realized Justin was just sitting there, hands tight on the wheel. “What’s wrong?”
He didn’t speak for a moment, and when he did, he sounded wary. “They won’t want me in there.”
She barely bit back a sigh of exasperation. “Whatever your past was, it sounds like you’ve settled down, and you steer clear of the bar and causing trouble. I doubt anyone will think twice about you eating at the diner.”
He released the steering wheel and slid out on his side, casting her look full of skepticism. “I’m guessing you’ve never lived in a small town?”
She shrugged. “No, not really. New York City has always been my home.”
“Folks don’t forget things in a small town. They remember things our grandparents did.” Despite his words, he came around the truck and walked beside her, his arm brushing against hers every few steps.
Feeling the need to comfort him, and as a show of solidarity, she twined her fingers through his, almost shocked when he stiffened, but didn’t tug away immediately. “They’ll probably be more interested in me and my foreign accent than you,” she said with a teasing wink.
“It is something different, all right.”
He surprised her by clinging tightly to her hand as she opened the door, since it was on her side, and they slipped through together.
Almost immediately, silence fell in the whole room. It was as if the patrons had an off switch that had abruptly been activated. She was dismayed by the gazes that rested on them, all critical and some fearful. She donned a haughty air, looking away from all of them, and pulled Justin to a nearby table, consciously aware of all the gazes on them as they sat down.