Angel Baby

by Leslie Kelly

  She just didn’t know what to do about these feelings she had for him. They overwhelmed her, actually frightened her a little in their intensity. Even with Joe, who she’d loved deeply, she’d never felt as completely aware of her most sensual yearnings as she did with Chase Paxton.

  “Oh, you’re here,” Dorien said when she opened the door, a huge smile of welcome on her face. “I’ve been so excited all morning. Sarah and I are going to have such fun.”

  Grinning at the woman’s exuberance, Claudia entered the house. Dropping the diaper bag on the floor, she glanced around the foyer noticing no low-lying bric-a-brac to draw Sarah’s attention.

  “Ah, I know how to handle a baby, my dear,” Dorien said. “Look over there.”

  Claudia glanced into the living room. The mantle was crowded with statuary and some intricately detailed wood carvings. “I guess you do understand,” Claudia said with a laugh. “If she can reach it, she will grab it. If she can’t reach it, she’ll still try.”

  “Now, now, don’t you worry about a thing. I’ve shut the door to the dining room, and we’ll put this gate up here on this side. Miss Sarah can use my entire living room as a play pen this morning.”

  Noticing the plush toys lying on the immaculately clean carpeted floor, Claudia glanced at Dorien. The older woman shrugged.

  “If Sarah’s going to visit me, she’ll need some things here to keep her occupied.”

  “You’re very kind, Dorien,” Claudia said softly, touched by the woman’s thoughtfulness. “I’m so glad we found you.”

  “I found you, young lady,” Dorien retorted. “Now, get going. I know that grandson of mine is anxious to have you come over and set up that new computer of his. Boys and their toys....”

  Claudia impulsively gave the woman a kiss on the cheek, seeing the other's eyes twinkle at the gesture. Giving Sarah a quick squeeze, Claudia left, but paused to peek back through the front window. Dorien was already lying on the floor trying to tempt Sarah with a stuffed Dalmatian.

  Making her way through the copse of trees which blocked Chase’s house from view, Claudia wondered again if she’d been crazy to agree to spend the morning in his house. When he’d first mentioned it earlier in the week, she’d nearly refused. There was, however, the small matter of her job. She knew when Chase hired her that he wanted to set up a work station at his home.

  “Quit lying to yourself,” Claudia muttered as she hopped over a large fallen tree branch.

  When it came right down to it, the real reason she’d agreed to go to his house was the same reason she’d used when she was eight and jumped from the roof of the family storage shed, breaking her arm. Because someone had dared her to. Only this time, Claudia was daring herself. She dared herself to spend time alone, in a private place, with a man who had filled the past week with long nights of amazingly sensual dreams.

  More: She dared herself to try to figure out what on earth she wanted to happen next.

  Chase glanced at his watch, noticing it was nearly time for Claudia to arrive. It was a good thing, too. Trying to figure out how to hook together his new computer system had proven exceptionally frustrating. Stick a hammer in his hand and he could construct a home, but give him something electronic and about all he'd be able to do was plug it in.

  Even as he acknowledged he needed Claudia's help, he mumbled, “This is a bad idea.”

  He wondered again why he was putting himself through this. Having Claudia gliding around the office in her cheerfully colored suits was bad enough. Chase didn’t know how he’d react to having her again in his home.

  He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Claudia Warren had been stuck in his brain for days. Hell, he had to admit it, she’d been occupying a good part of his thoughts for longer than that...months, nearly a year. Recently, however, his thoughts had changed. Instead of picturing her pain and torment the night of Sarah’s birth, he found himself thinking of how her eyes darkened and her lips parted when he’d brushed against her at Melanie’s house. He remembered that moment last weekend when he’d caught her staring at him, and wondered if she knew he was imagining their bodies coming together in a passionate encounter.

  Chase quickly thrust the image out of his mind. Young, achingly vulnerable widows with children did not deserve to be lusted after by their employers. Claudia Warren needed a respectable, responsible man who wanted to get married and raise equally respectable, responsible children. Most of all, she was the kind of woman who needed love. He was certainly more respectable these days and responsible for his actions, but was he capable of giving a woman love? No way. He wasn't even sure the emotion existed. With the exception of his grandparents he'd never seen any evidence of love as the dictionary defined it. All the love he'd seen ended in misery and heartache for those involved.

  So what kind of fool was he now to invite her to spend a cozy Saturday morning in his house?

  A masochistic fool.

  Before he had a chance to even considering canceling, he saw her emerge from the copse of trees on the south end of his lawn, walking toward his house. She didn’t seem in a hurry. Her steps were slow and smooth, her legs gliding over the lawn in her usual graceful gait. At least, he was thankful to see, she wore slacks today and he wouldn't face the added distraction of those long, gorgeous legs.

  At her knock, Chase straightened his shoulders in determination. Keeping a professional distance between them was critical.

  “Am I early?” she asked tentatively as he opened the door.

  Chase shook his head quickly. “Not at all. I’ve already unpacked most of the cartons and begun reading the instructions.”

  “A man who reads the instructions,” Claudia murmured as she followed him into the house, “how unique.”

  Pausing just inside the door, Claudia looked around, appreciating the tasteful decor, the mellow wood of the high-backed chair next to a telephone table, and the antique gold leaf mirror hanging above it. A tall staircase dominated the foyer, curving up elegantly to the second floor, each step a dark, rich hardwood. Chase continued past it, down the hall, and Claudia hurried after him, noting how her sandals clicked noisily on the highly polished floors.

  “Your home is lovely,” she said, determined to break the silence between them. “I’m afraid I didn’t notice too much of it the last time I was here.”

  “I suppose you can be forgiven for that,” Chase muttered. “And thank you. But it’s Dorien you should compliment.”

  Suspecting a woman’s touch, Claudia nodded. “She decorated it for you?”

  “In a manner of speaking. She pointed out the original furnishings in the antique shops in town. Those we couldn’t locate we duplicated as closely as possible.”

  “Original furnishings?”

  Chase nodded as he led her into the room he used as his office and said, “This was my grandparent’s home, but they sold it nearly two decades ago. The new owners didn’t take care of it and let it start falling apart. I bought it back a few years ago and renovated it, thinking Dorien might want to move back in.”

  “But of course she didn’t,” Claudia said succinctly.

  Chase looked up at her sharply, as if surprised that she understood without asking.

  “Dorien loves her house next door,” Claudia said. “She’d feel lost in this place. It was probably fine when your grandfather was alive, but now, at least, from what I gather from our few conversations, she wouldn't know what to do with herself in a house this large.”

  “Very perceptive,” Chase admitted. “I just wish she’d told me before I bought the place.”

  “You would have bought it, in any case,” Claudia said, challenging him to deny it.

  “Again,” Chase said, “very perceptive. I had the means, and couldn’t stand to see it moldering in ruin after being in the family for more than seventy years.”

  Claudia understood completely. Just because she had no deep family roots didn’t mean she didn’t understand them. If anything, it made her appreciate
tradition and family loyalty even more.

  “Let’s get to work,” Chase said as he gestured her toward a padded leather office chair.

  Ignoring the chair he offered, Claudia went around to sit behind his desk and began examining the hardware he’d already set up. She heard his exasperated sigh, but ignored him. He’d asked her to come over to do a job, and she certainly couldn’t do it across a three foot expanse of wooden desk.

  “Don’t mind me,” he muttered as he came around to stand behind her.

  Claudia began loading software, trying to ignore the hard, male thigh just behind her left shoulder. After a few minutes, he turned slightly, leaning back against the desk, half-sitting on the edge. Try as she might, Claudia could not resist casting surreptitious glances out of the corner of her eye at his jean-clad hips. A few times her fingers stumbled over the keys. Claudia mentally cursed that his nearness could cause such distraction.

  “Are you all right? Can I get you a drink or something?” Chase asked.

  Shaking her head violently, Claudia forced herself to concentrate on what she was doing. He stayed right with her, asking challenging questions, and making keen observations about how best to individualize his work station.

  After about two hours of steady work, Chase left the room briefly. Claudia took the opportunity to lean back in her chair and relax. Having him so close, breathing his clean scent, and feeling the brush of his arm against her body as he reached across her to touch the keyboard had been incredibly distracting. Her senses were at high alert, heightened by his nearness. The feeling was not exactly unpleasant but was certainly disconcerting.

  By the time he returned, carrying two large glasses of iced tea, Claudia had just about steadied her breathing and decided she had imagined the tingling sensation in her body. But as soon as he walked around the desk and offered her a drink, letting his fingers meet hers against the slippery condensation on the glass, she knew she hadn’t imagined a damned thing.

  “So, why do you have only two friends?”

  Startled, Claudia nearly dropped the tea. She quickly set it on the desk, taking care to put it on a coaster. Chase stared at her steadily, waiting for her answer. Flushing, she said, “I beg your pardon?”

  “You told me, the night we met, that you had two friends, and they call you Claude.”

  “You do ask the strangest questions at the strangest times,” she retorted. Trying to ignore him, she stared at the computer monitor.

  “Just curious. A woman as attractive and friendly as you...it just seems like you’d be surrounded by friends and family.”

  “Sarah’s my family,” Claudia replied shortly. “Melanie and Ryan are my friends.”

  “And that’s all?” Chase pressed.

  “Well, I do have a mother, stepfather, and two half-siblings. Somewhere in the world. But, as I said, Sarah’s my family.”

  Claudia saw Chase nodding, as if he completely understood. Suddenly, for some crazy reason, she believed he did.

  “They left Milltown during my senior year of high school,” she explained grudgingly. “At first they moved to Oregon, then my mother sent me a letter saying they were thinking of going to Canada. My last letter to her came back undeliverable, so I have no idea where they are now.”

  “How long has it been?”

  “Over a year.”

  “Then they don’t know about Sarah’s birth?”

  “My mother knew I was pregnant. And they knew about Joe. They even thought to send flowers for the funeral.”

  Claudia couldn’t prevent the hint of bitterness in her voice, and it surprised her. Grabbing her glass, she took a large gulp of tea, then lowered it slowly, staring at golden brown liquid and the slowly melting ice. She’d thought she was long past being hurt by anything her mother and stepfather did. Chase must have suspected her anxiety, perhaps because her hand was clenched so tightly around her glass that she feared she would break it. She didn’t protest when he ran his fingers across the back of her hand and silently urged her to release the glass to him. Taking it from her, he placed it on the desk.

  “Why didn’t you go with them to Oregon?”

  “I wasn’t invited,” Claudia said quietly. “Besides, I was nearly eighteen and couldn’t wait to get out on my own. I spent the rest of my senior year with Joe and his mother, then got a part-time job, and moved in with Melanie while I went to college.”

  “That must have been tough.”

  “It could have been worse,” Claudia said. “There was some money...my father had a small life insurance policy. Somehow my mother managed to keep it in a trust for my education.”

  “That explains the family. What about the friends?”

  “Joe and Melanie were my closest friends. Because they lived on either side of me growing up, I did play with them. But for the most part, I spent my free time babysitting my half brother and sister. There really wasn’t any time for friendship.”

  Chase had been quietly taking in everything Claudia said, and everything she didn’t say. He knew it hurt her to talk about her family, had seen the tense set of her full lips and the suspicious brightness in her eyes. He didn’t stop pressing her, though. Some instinct made him want to know everything...all her secrets, all her miseries and her fears.

  “Not exactly your typical American family, humh?” he said, forcing a casual note into his voice.

  “It could have been. Except for me.”

  The bitterness in her voice was countered by the moisture in her eyes. Grabbing a tissue from a box on the desk, he handed it to her awkwardly.

  “My stepfather and my mother had been high school sweethearts, but when he was off at college, she started seeing my father. They got married when they found out I was on the way.”

  Chase nodded, saying nothing, not wanting to interrupt the purging of painful memories.

  “My father died when I was two...an accident at the rail yard where he worked. My mother married her old boyfriend less than a year later. And they started their happily ever after, with one unfortunate reminder of my mother’s indiscretion.”

  “You.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I take it your stepfather wasn’t kind?”

  “It wasn’t that he was unkind,” Claudia explained haltingly. “I don’t quite know how to explain it. There were moments, especially when I was older, that I would catch him staring at me with this unhidden resentment. But I can honestly say that he never abused me, never even raised his voice to me, for that matter. There was a time when I became extremely rebellious, I guess because subconsciously I wanted him to yell at me, to show some kind of emotion. But he never did. I was there, he couldn’t change that, so he did the best he could to ignore my existence.”

  Chase gritted his teeth, wondering at how any man could be so callous, especially to the bright-eyed, freckle-face cutie he’d seen in the picture on Claudia’s desk at the office.

  “And your mother? What did she do during all this?”

  Chase saw Claudia’s jaw clench, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Her lips trembled and her hands shook. Chase was unable to maintain his cool distracted air. Slipping his fingers into her hair, he gently cupped her head, stroking her temple with his thumb. She seemed pleased at the contact. Rather than pulling away, she pressed her face into his palm. Her translucent flesh was gossamer soft beneath his rough fingers, and he felt the pounding of her pulse. Glancing down, he noticed she closed her eyes briefly as she drew in a deep breath.

  “She did nothing,” Claudia said on a sigh. “She loved me, I don’t really doubt that. But I believe she’d already lost him once, when she got involved with my father, and she wasn’t going to let anyone come between them again...including her child. So I always knew he came first. When they left for Oregon, it was no surprise.”

  Chase didn’t say anything for a few moments, just quietly continued to stroke her skin and curl his fingers in her hair. He sensed the moment her mood changed from melancholy to something el
se. He felt, rather than saw, her head shift ever so slightly as if enjoying the feel of his touch. Watching her as she again pressed her cheek into his open palm, Chase heard her small moan as he slid his callused hand against the softness of her skin. Then, slower still, she tilted her head back and gradually opened her eyes to stare deeply into his.

  Chase could no more resist kissing her than a struggling moth could resist dancing closer and closer to a bright burning flame. Keeping his fingers curled in her soft hair, he slowly leaned toward her, eyes never breaking their intense contact, until his mouth met hers in a caress as gentle as a lover’s whisper.

  Her mouth softened, molded against his own, and their breaths mingled. Chase pressed closer and Claudia responded by silently sliding her lips apart, inviting him, cajoling him. Again, he could not resist her, and he gently tasted her with his tongue. She tasted sweet and lemony from the tea, as intoxicating as any flavor he’d ever savored. Tilting his head, Chase pressed his mouth more fully over hers and deepened the kiss. He heard her soft moan, and felt the instant when comfort turned to full desire for she pushed up against him and met his tongue with her own.

  Chase was overwhelmed with need for her—physical need. But even more disturbing was his desire to comfort her, to protect her, to awaken the passion he sensed in her. Just as strong, however, was the feeling of disgust...for himself. How could he take advantage of the painful memories of this vulnerable young widow?

  Pulling his mouth away from hers, Chase yanked his hand from her hair. Ignoring the confusion and sudden embarrassment he saw cross her face, he turned his back and exited the room.

  “That was a bad idea,” he muttered as he slammed out the front door and walked out of his own house.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “How could I have let him kiss me?” Claudia groaned aloud as she rolled over for about the thirtieth time that night in her bed.

  And, for about the thirtieth time, she allowed herself to silently think the other question that had plagued her all afternoon. Why did he stop?