For the Love of a Marine

by Sharon Kimbra Walsh

  He watched as she pursed her lips in her sleep then lowered his eyes to her breasts, which were bare. He remembered caressing them, and her reaction last night, and he began to grow hard again. He squirmed slightly and contemplated waking her gently. As though she had read his thoughts, Katie’s eyes opened and a slow smile of delight spread across her face.

  “Hi,” she greeted softly. “I thought it was all a dream.”

  “No dream,” he said, smiling lovingly at her.

  Katie raised herself slightly, moved closer, and kissed his chest with little pouting kisses. Reaching his nipple, she licked it slowly then bit into his skin, not enough to hurt, but it caused tingling sensations to shoot down into his groin. When he moved to put his arms around her, she stopped the kisses and glanced up at him.

  “No,” she murmured. “No touching. It’s my turn. Lie on your back.” Katie moved slightly to accommodate him on the bed.

  Watching her, Joe obliged, and Katie ran her eyes down his body, her breathing slightly rapid. Bending forward, she kissed the tattoo on his shoulder and chest, working her way down his ribcage, returning to his nipples again and licking them, nipping slightly in one place then another. With her left hand, she ran her fingertips down the center of his chest then his stomach, trailing them lower and slower until she reached his groin. He was fully erect and hard and she gently traced her fingers up and down the length of him and circled the crown. She raised herself up slightly on her knees and proceeded to kiss and lick down the center of his stomach, nipping gently with her teeth.

  Joe began to moan softly as her mouth trailed wet kisses toward where her hand was tenderly playing with his cock. Reaching it, she licked along the underside, causing him to jerk involuntarily.

  Joe suddenly grabbed her hair firmly. “Katie,” he warned.

  Katie glanced up at him with a sensuous look on her face. He moved to pull her up toward him, to roll her onto her back, but she held him at bay.

  “It’s my turn,” she repeated huskily, and gracefully straddled him, pressing her down and rubbing her against him, creating an exquisite friction.

  Joe watched her face as she threw her head back, her hips grinding against him, her mouth slightly open and her eyes closed. Joe reached up and clasped her breasts, massaging her erect nipples, causing Katie to moan. As though she couldn’t wait any longer, she raised her hips and, opening her eyes and staring deeply into Joe’s, she grasped him gently and guided him into her then sat down with a single smooth movement until he was deep inside her, as deep as he could go, until it almost hurt. Joe felt her heat and the small squeeze of muscles as she clenched around him and he wanted to explode right at that moment. He gritted his teeth and continued to watch her. She sat frozen for a moment, enjoying the sensations of having him inside her, then she began to move, rocking backward and forward, sometimes rising up until he was almost out of her then sitting down with that same smooth motion until it nearly drove him mad.

  As their passion rose, their movements became faster and harder and Katie began to utter the little moans that told him that she was nearing her climax. He was well on his way to his own and both peaked virtually at the same time. Katie slumped on top of him, murmuring little endearments, and nuzzling his lightly sweating chest. He put his arms around her and rubbed his face against her head. They both stayed in that position for a long time, until Joe eventually stirred. He managed a surreptitious glance at his watch and sighed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but we have to go.”

  Katie made a little choked sound of reluctance. “Don’t let me go, Joe, please.”

  Joe raised her chin with his finger. “I don’t want to,” he answered. “Believe me. But we’ll both be in big trouble if we stay here.”

  “I know,” Katie said, and her voice sounded so sad that he wanted to give in and stay in the room with her in his arms. But she climbed off him and sat on the edge of the bed. Joe climbed off the camp bed beside her and stood up.

  Katie admired his body as she ran her eyes up and down him, a small smile playing about her mouth.

  “Don’t look at me like that, lady,” he said. “I might change my mind.” He started to put on his underwear and combats and Katie reluctantly began to put on her own uniform. Once they were both dressed, Joe suddenly took her hand and led her back to the camp bed.

  “Sit down,” he said. “I have to talk to you.”

  Katie obliged, wondering what he was going to say.

  Joe put his hand in the pocket of his jacket and pulled something out. “I want you to have this,” he said, and handed her a gold ring.

  Katie looked at it and saw that it was a large gold and onyx ring with the letters JA entwined in raised gold on the black stone. “Joe,” she gasped. “It’s beautiful.”

  “It’s my class ring,” he said. “I’ve given it to you in lieu of an engagement ring.”

  Katie gaped at him, open-mouthed. “Are you asking me to marry you?” she asked breathlessly.

  “Yes I am, if you’ll have me,” Joe replied solemnly. “I know people will gasp in horror. Everyone will—with good intentions—say that it’s too soon. We don’t know each other—the usual advice—but I know what I feel about you, honey. I want you with me for always.”

  Katie looked down at the ring then back at Joe, nodding frantically. “Yes,” she answered delightedly. “Yes, I will.” She threw her arms around his neck, kissing him excitedly all over his face.

  Laughing, he held her tightly, kissed her deeply on the mouth, and then held her back. “I also have to tell you something else. I don’t mean to rain on our parade but I’m going out on patrol tonight and won’t be back for five days. It’s a big mission. We’re being flown behind enemy lines. That’s all I can say about it, but when I get back, we’ll come here again.”

  Joe watched as worry and anxiety appeared in Katie’s eyes. “God, Joe!” she exclaimed.

  “I’ll be fine, Katie. I’ll be back. You won’t lose me now.” He took her in his arms again and she snuggled against him. Her joy at his marriage proposal was dampened by the news that he was going out on patrol again, and this time a more hazardous one than usual. An intense surge of fear suddenly took over her body and she clenched her jaw and closed her eyes, determined not to let her terror overcome her but unable to free her of the sense that being so happy would bring about something bad.

  “Now,” he began, “we really have to go.”

  They spent the next few minutes tidying up the room and remaking the bed, checking that they had left nothing behind. Almost reluctantly, Joe unlocked the door, and going outside into the early morning, they fled along the path to the road.

  Joe took her back to her tent and they stopped outside. Taking her in his arms, he kissed her hard and at length. “Remember,” he said. “I love you and I will be back.”

  Katie’s eyes filled with tears, “Joe,” she whispered, her heart in almost physical pain as she gazed into his face. The terrible feeling that something was going to happen to destroy their love, that a nightmare was now in motion by them spending the night together, one that would change them forever, still remained like a physical weight in her stomach.

  Joe released her and stepped back. As though he couldn’t take his eyes from her, he walked backward until he reached the end of the path, then he raised a hand briefly, turned and walked away.

  Katie felt the tears on her face as she watched him disappear into the misty, early morning light, missing him so much already, loving him beyond words and dying a bit inside as he eventually disappeared without looking back.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Katie woke suddenly, her eyes flashing wide in an instant. She had been in a deep sleep and dreaming. She couldn’t remember what the dream had been about and the sleep had done nothing to refresh her. She was exhausted and worried beyond comprehension. Her tent was full of murmured conversation from the other women with the faint sound of the radio and a film on somebody’s laptop sounding in the background
. The light was dim and shadows of movement played on the tent walls like shadowy ghosts. Katie closed her eyes again. There was something wrong. She could sense it throughout her body. Joe had been out on patrol now for three days, nothing worrisome in that. He had said on the night they had spent together that he was going to be gone for five days, dropped behind enemy lines. He hadn’t been able to say anything more but from experience, Katie knew that it was more than likely to be a dangerous mission. He was due back in two days and was to meet her here at her tent and they would spend the night together again in the room belonging to Joe’s friend. She should feel excited about being together again, but instead she was frightened. A strong feeling of foreboding sat like a lump of lead in her stomach and she was tired and edgy.

  Sitting up on her bed, Katie swung her legs over the side. She glanced around the tent and saw a couple of the women looking in her direction. She noticed immediately that their expressions held sympathy and concern. She felt ice form in her veins. The women saw that she had noticed them staring and hastily turned away in silence.

  “Hey,” Wanda said, coming to sit beside her friend. “How are you?” Wanda’s tone was soft and gentle, totally unlike her usual strident tones, and Katie glanced at her curiously.

  “I’m okay,” she answered, paused, and then asked, “What’s going on?”

  To Katie’s consternation, Wanda’s face took on the same expression of concern as the two women who Katie had caught staring at her.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” Wanda answered. “You just don’t look well.”

  “I feel like you all know something I don’t,” Katie went on. She looked down at her hands. “I feel… I feel like something’s wrong—with Joe.” She glanced at her friend again. “I’m so scared, Wanda. Something’s happened to him. I know it.”

  “Hey.” Wanda put a soothing hand on Katie’s shoulder. “You’re imagining things.”

  “No.” Katie shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.”

  At that moment, the tent flaps moved aside and a female lance corporal entered. She looked directly at Katie and announced quietly, “Katie, there’s someone waiting outside to speak to you.”

  Katie froze where she was seated, excitement suddenly welling up inside her. Joe! It has to be Joe. Who else can it be? But he wasn’t due back from patrol yet. Jumping up, she hurried to exit the tent to see who it was.

  The early evening air was slightly chilly in extreme contrast to the soaring temperatures of the day and she shivered. She glanced to where Joe usually waited for her but there was nobody there. Frowning, she glanced in the opposite direction, and saw somebody standing in the shadows. Turning, for a second she thought that it was Joe, but the dark figure moved out into the dim light and Katie recognized him. It was Sergeant Louis Eastman. Katie knew instantly that her feelings of fear were about to be confirmed.

  The sergeant walked toward her, limping slightly. “Corporal Walker? Katie?” he asked hesitantly.

  Katie remained where she was, rigid with a powerful fear. As he drew nearer, she saw that his arm was in a sling.

  Sergeant Eastman stood before her and the look on his face was one of grief and shock. She started to shake her head, her green eyes wide and staring, mouth trembling. She lifted a shaking hand to ward off what she suspected she was about to hear.

  Sergeant Eastman cleared his throat and when he spoke, his voice trembled. “Katie, he’s missing.”

  Silence seemed to envelope Katie like a shroud, and the words he had just spoken didn’t make sense in her suddenly chaotic mind. “Missing?” she echoed in a small, husky voice.

  Sergeant Eastman nodded, looked down at the ground, and then raised his head, pain at the loss of his friend etched into his drawn face. “We were out on patrol, search, and rescue. We had gone to a compound where Intel reported that there were some hostages. The Intel was false. They were waiting for us—full-on Taliban attack, heavy weapons, the lot. Some of our guys were killed. Joe and a couple of others went back to rescue some of them and they never came back. When backup arrived, they searched but there was no sign of them. His helmet and weapon were found, but nothing else.”

  “He’s not dead then?” Katie asked, her voice trembling, on the verge of screaming a denial.

  Sergeant Eastman sighed heavily. “We couldn’t find him,” he replied simply.

  Katie gazed around her, seeing the black night sky, the bright stars, feeling a chill wind against the heat of her face. She turned her gaze back on the sergeant.

  “Thank you for coming to tell me, Sergeant Eastman. It was good of you.” Her voice was emotionless, as though all feeling had gone from her, and she registered dully that Sergeant Eastman felt bad for her.

  “Wait,” he said. “Before we went out on patrol, Joe asked me to give you something.” He reached into his combat jacket pocket and withdrew two envelopes. He handed them to her and, Katie clutching them, felt something inside her die a little as each second passed.

  “I’m so sorry, Katie,” Sergeant Eastman reiterated. “He was a good buddy to have. I’d better go. If you need anything…” With that last statement, he gave her a half salute, turned, and disappeared into the darkness.

  Katie stood where he had left her, gazing down at the letters, the pain in her heart so severe that she wanted to crumple to the ground then and there and scream out her heartache. She barely acknowledged Sergeant Eastman’s goodbye, and when she finally looked up, he had gone.

  She gazed around her, at the tents, the dim lights, confused and shocked. She didn’t want to read the letter addressed to her. To do that would make the last ten minutes a reality and just confirm that Joe was missing. She walked slowly toward her tent and went inside. She stopped just inside the entrance, glancing around, not seeing anyone, or hearing the exclamations of concern as the women saw the expression on her face. She went abstractedly to her bed and sat down.

  Wanda, glancing up as her friend came in, winced at the look on her face.

  Katie looked down at the two envelopes again. One was addressed to her in Joe’s handwriting, the other addressed to a Mr. and Mrs. Anderson with a Virginia, USA, postal address. With shaking hands, she ripped open the envelope with her name on it. She extracted the single sheet of paper, unfolded it, and began to read. Halfway through, the tears began to fall, blurring the handwriting, and a howl of wounded pain began to build up inside her. She must have made a small sound because Wanda was instantly by her side, putting an arm around her friend’s shoulders.

  With tears streaming down her face, Katie turned to Wanda. “He’s gone,” she choked, the sobs becoming harder to control. “He’s missing Wanda. He’s missing.” Then she broke down, the sobs heart wrenching and full of pain.

  Wanda’s own eyes filled with tears and she pulled Katie into her arms and hugged her tightly, stroking the other woman’s hair as you would a child. “I know, Katie, sweetheart. We already know,” she said, her usually strong voice cracking with sympathy and compassion. “Let it out, Katie. Let it out.”

  Katie cried as though her heart was breaking, the sobs making her whole body shudder. At one point, attempting to break free from her friend’s enfolding arms, she saw that one or two women in the tent had glanced in her direction but turned away as she had raised her head, as though to go and comfort her would cause the same thing to happen to them. She watched a few other women, concern, and heartfelt sympathy etched on their faces, approach her bed space, sink down on the floor before her, and encircle her and Wanda. Mirrored in their own faces were Katie’s grief and pain.

  The circle of women stayed surrounding Katie for a long time, until her sobs began to taper off and, exhausted, she sat slumped, head bowed. Then they rose to their feet and wandered back to their own tasks and thoughts. Wanda remained beside Katie, comforting her, sitting in silence, waiting for Katie to speak.

  At last, Katie straightened and wiped her wet face. “Thanks,” she said, sobs still causing her voice to hiccup. She turned to fa
ce Wanda. “You said you already knew?”

  Wanda nodded. “Yes. My section informed me that some members of a patrol had gone missing. All the flags are at half-mast, then your Sergeant Webster contacted me and told me that the staff sergeant—your man—was one of the ones missing. I told the rest of the girls here. We couldn’t say anything. We were ordered not to, not until you had been told yourself.”

  Katie nodded, feeling nothing. She was completely numb now, which she was grateful for, and hoped that she would continue to remain so.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Wanda asked.

  Katie shook her head. “No, thank you,” she replied. “I can’t, not yet. I want to go to bed, forget about it for now.” She stood up, still clutching the letters.

  Wanda gazed up at her friend worriedly. “Okay, girl, but if you need me, just shout.”

  Katie nodded, turning away before the tears could start again. Wanda rose from her seat beside her friend and went back to her own bed space. Without undressing, Katie lay down on her bed and dragged her sleeping bag over her. She put the envelope addressed to Joe’s parents under her pillow and held Joe’s now-crumpled letter under her cheek. Although her mind was in turmoil, she wanted to close her eyes, and if Joe was not going to be with her, never wake up. Katie’s exhaustion was borne of emotional chaos and she instantly fell asleep, her sleep deep and dark with black images flitting about in her mind all night long.

  * * * *

  For the next forty-eight hours, Katie functioned on automatic. She did her job with her usual competence and skill but was numb to all emotions. Her Joe had gone and that was all that mattered. Her work colleagues did not ask any questions of her but they showed their sympathy in the gentle friendly touches on her arm and shoulder, the small smiles of concern when they passed her in the corridor and rooms of the CTH. Sergeant Webster, at one point, called her into his office and awkwardly let her know that he was there if she needed him, as was everyone else. Not able to speak, in case she broke down, Katie had nodded her understanding and abruptly left his office.