“Hi, Dr. Daniels. So when is my birth control due for renewal?” I sound a little snappy, and I feel bad for about thirty seconds. What the hell is wrong with me?
After clearing her throat she answers. “Well, looking into your file it looks like it was due twenty two days ago.”
“What? I thought I wasn't due for my next shot for another week or so.” Oh my god!! I feel sick. All that unprotected sex, and when I say all I mean a shitload almost everyday at least once a day.
Fuck, fuck, and shit no......
“Now I have to ask. Have you had sex without protection in that time frame?” I know she's just doing her job and she doesn't know me. But seriously? I can't even think right now let alone answer. “Ilyanna? Are you there?”
“Yes, sorry I'm here. And yes I have, we haven't bothered with protection since I thought I was protected.” What the hell am I going to do if I'm pregnant?
“Ok, well first we need to get you in here for a pregnancy test. We're closed after today for the holiday. Do you think you could make it in before five today? If it's negative I'll have a shot waiting for you. If it's positive we'll schedule you a physical for first thing next week.”
“I can be there between four and five. I'll call when I'm on my way. Thank you.”
“I'll see you in a little while Ilyanna." I hang up the phone and rush to the bathroom, making it just in time to lose my lunch.
Walking out of the doctor's office I feel numb.
Pregnant? How the hell did I let this happen?
How did I get the date wrong?
True I've been preoccupied lately and time has flown by. But pregnant?!!!!
I don't know how I've kept my composure until I sink myself into my car, but as soon I do I break down in a heaping mess. Full blown snotty tears, the kind you choke on.
I have to call my mother, she'll calm me down. She has a way of making me see things half full instead of empty. “Hi baby, how are you?” She answers cheerfully.
“Mo.....mam.....aa...... I m...e....ss...ed uuuup!” I can barely choke the words out of my mouth. “I'm pre....ggg...na...nt.” I end with a hiccup. “I don't.,” hiccup, “know how I'm go...i...ng to tell Br...a...y...don....” I break down even more as soon as his name leaves my lips. My mom being the ever patient soul waits for me to settle down before she speaks.
“Do you love him? Do you want him to father your children? And most importantly, do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?”
I think about what she just asked me and immediately have my answer. “I can't imagine my life without him. He completes me.” With that being said I realize I've calmed enough to get my thoughts from my brain and out of my mouth without stuttering. “I want to marry him and have his babies, grow old with him and help raise our grandchildren together. It's just too soon. We've only been seeing each other for two months.”
“Do you think he feels the same Ilyanna? If he does, then it can never be too soon. God has a plan baby, and that child is part of his plan. Everything that happens unexpectedly is part of his plan. It may not seem like it to you now, but there's a reason for everything. I believe God brought you to Boston to be with that man of yours. I didn't know it before but the way you talk about him my sweet girl, that's fate.”
She makes me feel a little better with her logic. For now.... “I do, he tells me every day how much he loves me and how thankful he is that I came into his life. He hints about marriage all the time and has even made a couple jokes about me being pregnant. I just don't know if he'll think it's bad timing or in the wrong order or I'm trying to trap him. Oh God, I hope he doesn't think I'm trapping him. My mind's freaking out. I've told him I'm not ready to get married. How am I supposed to tell him I'm having our baby?”
“The way I see it, you have two options. Come right out and tell him or surprise him for Christmas. It's perfect timing for that. Either way, the way you talk about your relationship, I think he'll be happy. Just keep me updated. And just don't you go worrying about my feelings, I'm very excited to be a Mamaw. I love you Ilyanna, and know I support you.”
My mother's sweet words bring back the water works. This time they're tears of joy, not fear that are gently streaming down my cheeks. “Thanks Momma, I love you too. I'll call you on Thanksgiving and let you know my plans. We're heading up to Maine for a few days with his parents.”
“Have fun, I'll be waiting to hear from you.”
an honor
Something's been a little off with Ilyanna since she's returned to the office. She told me Rachel needed her help and that she'd be back to finish out the rest of the day. We're leaving tomorrow after an early morning meeting to tie up some loose ends before spending a few days with my parents for Thanksgiving.
“Is everything alright?” I ask as we sit down to a late dinner.
“I'm just not feeling very well. I think it's just nerves about meeting your parents tomorrow night.” She gives me a small smile that seems forced but I brush it off.
“Don't worry about them. I talk about you so much that I'm sure they already love you as much as I do. I will warn you though, I haven't hidden the fact that I want to marry you and have a family. I'm sure my mother will ask a lot of questions about a wedding and babies.” At the mention of those two words she chokes on her drink. “I know it's too soon, and I've told her your not ready to talk about it. But knowing my mom, when something's on her mind she's gonna say it. So I apologize in advance.”
She looks like she's gonna be sick. Before I get a chance to ask her, she answers my unspoken question by bolting out of her seat towards the bathroom down the hall. The sounds of her retching reach me in the kitchen and I get up to go check on her. Walking into the bathroom, I see her folded over the toilet with her head inside the bowl. I pull her vomit covered hair out of her face and wipe a wet facecloth across her already damp forehead.
Once I'm pretty sure she's got nothing left to heave out, I take the facecloth from her forehead and let her hair down. I pick her up gently and carry her to the bedroom where I place her down at the end of the bed. I go back into the bathroom to run her a bath and when I return she's slumped over, positively green. I think it's a little more than nerves. If she's not better tomorrow I'm having her get checked out for food poisoning. I've never taken care of anyone else while they were sick, but I know that I like taking a nice hot bath. I start to slowly undress her while the tub fills and as soon as I'm finished I pick her up, carry her into the bathroom and lower into the tub.
“Thank you,” she mumbles. And it breaks my heart to know she's hurting.
“Your welcome baby. I'd do anything for you, anytime, anywhere. I hope you know that.” She gives me a funny look that makes me think even the boy she was in love with before was more selfish than selfless. I'll be damned if I don't give her one hundred and fifty percent every time. I take my time washing her hair and then every inch of her perfect body. When I'm finished, I drain the tub, grab a towel, lift her and wrap her inside. I lay her down on the bed and grab one of my t shirts and slip it on her. Taking the comb off of counter in the bathroom, I walk back into my room, position myself against the headboard, gently placing her between my legs, and start combing her hair. I can hear her crying so I place the comb down on the nightstand and wrap my arms around her, kissing her head. “I love you so much baby. You know that don't you? I'll protect you from everything in my power including my mother. If she gets too intense I'll shut her down. Okay?”
“I know and I love you too. Thank you for taking such good care of me Braydon. The only people who ever took care of me are my parents. My father's gone and my mother is hundreds of miles away. I can't thank you enough for being here for me.” She snuggles into my arms and she's home.
She is my home. I would go anywhere for this woman. “Just let me hold you baby. That's all I need from you right now. When your feeling better, well there are a few ways I can think of for you to thank me.” I let out a small laugh when she pinches my ar
m.
“I think I may be overreacting a bit. My nerves have never been that great. But your a product of your parents so they can't be too bad. I love you, now let me sleep in your arms and I'll see what I can do to repay you in the morning once I feel human again.” She turns on her side and I stroke her hair as she falls asleep.
“I love you too beautiful. Sweet dreams.”
*****
“Wow, your parents have a beautiful home.” I look around and try to see it through her eyes. My mother's always been an avid gardener so I'm used to the overflow of bushes and flowers. The fountain leading into a koi fish pond is a little much seeing as at the end of every summer they have to move them indoors and winterize the pond. I wish she could see it full but she'll get to see the fish once we get inside.
“My mother's always had a green thumb, dad helps her out too here and there. Come on lets go in. I've seen the curtains move about a dozen times since we pulled into the driveway. Ready?”
“As I'll ever be.” She gives me a megawatt smile letting me know she is in fact ready to get this over with.
My mother opens the door before we make it to the third step. She goes straight for Ilyanna, acting like I'm not even there. “Ilyanna honey it's so nice to finally meet you. I've heard so many wonderful things. Please come in and we'll find Kelly. Last I knew he was in his study.” She finally releases her from a hug to make the history books. My mother's generally not a hugger, but seeing as she's been on me for some time about giving her a daughter in law, I think she's a little excited.
“Hello to you too mom,” I say with mock hurt in my voice.
“Oh please Braydon, I've known you your whole life. It's not everyday I meet my future daughter in law now is it?” She turns and takes me in a hug and whispers in my ear. “She's lovely.”
“Yes she is,” I whisper back, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Ilyanna, this is my mother Patricia O'Donnell.”
“It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am. You have a beautiful home.”
“Thank you, but please call me Patty. Hopefully someday soon you'll call me mom.” I give my mother a look to cut the shit. She just smiles at me, takes Ilyanna by the arm and starts down the hall towards my father's study. Ilyanna gives me a look that screams help me. I just shrug my shoulders and blow her a kiss. “Kelly dear, look who Braydon's brought to visit,” my mom says upon entering the study.
My dad stands from his desk and comes over to give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. “Ilyanna it's so great to finally meet you. I hope our son's been treating you right. If he steps out of line you just let me know and I'll take care of him for you.”
“Thank you Mr. O'Donnell, I'll keep that in mind. And it's my pleasure as well. How have you been feeling? Braydon told me that you had a heart attack recently.”
“I appreciate your concern but please call me Kelly. To answer your question, I've been better, the doctors told me to take it easy and lord knows I've been trying. It isn't easy keeping up with my wife but I'm doing the best I can.” He laughs and looks at mom, who's looking at him in disbelief that he'd throw her under the bus so easily.
“Now don't you listen to him. I've been nothing but helpful, barely asking him to lift a finger. If you ask me he's just looking for pity from a beautiful young girl. How you wound me Kelly.” She laughs at their playful banter and we all join in.
“Alright kids let me show you to your room so you can get settled and cleaned up for dinner. Ilyanna if you would join me in the kitchen once your done. And Braydon, your father wants to catch up in his study.”
*****
“Your parents seem really nice. I don't mind a little teasing about marriage and kids as long as it doesn't turn into badgering. I do plan on being your wife Braydon, that's not a secret. Just details, that's what I don't want to get into.”
“I promised if it came to that I would shut her down. Don't worry baby your safe with me.” Taking her in my arms I give her the kiss that I've been waiting well over four hours for. “I love you and there's nothing I won't do for you. If it's waiting to make you my wife and mother to my children then I will. At least I know I have you every other way you'll let me.”
“I'm yours Braydon, forever. I want everything to be perfect. Once I'm ready you'll be the first to know.” She gives me a sweet kiss. “I love you too. Let's go back down stairs and see what kind of interrogations your folks have for us.”
As she turns toward the door I give her a quick slap on the ass. She turns back to me and I grab her, pulling her towards me and punish her with another kiss. “Later,” I warn her, feeling slightly out of breath.
“Mmmm.... Later.”
*****
Outside my father's study I take a deep a breath and let it out slowly. Let's do this, lecture time no doubt. I knock quickly before opening the door. He's standing at the window with a finger of scotch in his hand. I don't think any amount of of advice from the doctors telling him alcohol isn't good for his condition will make him give up his drink.
As I walk in he turns to me, raising his glass in question and I give him a quick nod. Hell yeah, I could use a drink right about now. “So son, she's the one huh?” He hands me my glass and I take a small sip. “You two will make us some fine looking grandchildren that's for sure. She's quite a looker, she's got nothing on your mother though. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on her that I was going to make her my wife. You probably thought you were going to get the it's too soon speech. Well you won't get that from me. I'm no hypocrite.” He laughs at himself before taking another sip of his scotch.
“Yeah dad, she's great. I didn't think that after Heather I could ever let myself love again. But what I feel for Ilyanna is so much stronger than that. Makes me question if I ever truly loved Heather. Ya know? I think I've found my match.”
He sits and studies me while sipping his drink. “If you're sure then I have something to give you. You can use it or you can choose not to. But if you don't I ask that you hold onto it so that your son has a choice to.”
I know what he's about to give me. It was the bridal set my grand father had made in Ireland for my grand mother. It's absolutely beautiful. A heart shaped one carat diamond center stone engagement ring with emerald accents and a Celtic knot band on either side of the stones. The wedding band is Celtic knots with tiny diamonds scattered throughout. I couldn't even tell you how many times I had to listen my grandfather talking about those rings when I was a kid. How much they cost him, my grandmother's reaction, how money was no factor when it came to her. He got a second job just to save for those rings. I'd be so proud to give them to Ilyanna, they're perfect for her. For us.
I'm not going tell him I was planning on asking him for them, there's no need. He takes a small emerald green velvet box from his desk drawer and places it in my hand. “I know you'll do the right thing son. I've never seen or heard you so happy. It's possible to pretend for our sake over the phone. But looking at you in the flesh son, I know there's no pretending. Your in love with that girl. I see it in the way you look at her. It's the same way I look at your mother. That girl in the other room completes you, I'll be proud to welcome her to our little family and I hope it gets bigger sooner rather than later. We want grand babies kid. Get to it.” He starts to laugh again and I know he's completely serious, he's just trying to lighten it up a bit.
I can't really help but let him see the tears that gather in my eyes. I'm just so fucking happy. I'm turning into a fucking sap. I wipe my eyes on my sleeve to erase the evidence, and force a small laugh for my dad's benefit. “Can you do me a favor?”
“Name it kid, and don't be ashamed of crying. It just means you have a heart. It's okay to have emotions, you are human after all.” He walks to the door and I follow.
“Please try to get mom to lighten up on Ilyanna. She's not quite ready to talk about churches and guest lists, never mind baby names. She's been hurt bad. And yes we've talked about forever together, I just don't want her to feel rushed or pressure
d.”
That gets another laugh out of him, mom is mom and not much sways her. It's worth a shot though. “I can't promise you anything but I'll try son. I'll try. There's not much chance I'll get to talk to her until after dinner. We can only pray she's been behaving herself and hasn't run your pretty lady off. They've already been alone for a half an hour or so.”
God, did he have to remind me? Now I feel sick. I let out a groan. “Let's get in there and save my girl.”
Change of heart
I have to admit, I feel a lot more comfortable than I thought I would. Patty hasn't mentioned anything about weddings or babies since her brief comment when we arrived. I haven't felt like throwing up again so that's a plus. I wasn't lying to Braydon when I told him it was from nerves, just the cause of the nerves. I don't think it's morning sickness since it was night time when I got sick, but who knows. I have to do some research once I'm alone.
We've kept up a steady chatter about my mom and how I'm liking the move to Boston. “I'm really enjoying working with Braydon, the beginning was a little rocky but once we got past fighting our attraction for each other it got much easier.”
“I'm glad you two worked it out. The way my boy talks about you I would think you've been dating years, not months.” I groan internally. She's been doing so good. I'm dreading the next words to come out of her mouth. “I never would have thought Braydon would let his walls down again after what that bitch in college did to him.” She gives herself a shake as if warding off the chills.
And me? Well I let out a sigh of relief. I really thought she was going to bring up marriage. Not that I like the idea of talking about the woman who hurt him. Although he's her loss and my gain, so I can't complain too much.
“I can't even think about her without feeling ill. Braydon is the sweetest man besides his father, and he should be because that's the way we raised him. I'm so glad he's found you. Your perfect for him.”
Fighting Temptation (Bay State Series Book 1) Page 11