by Susan Fodor
My bedspread looked like the waves of the sea. I always loved nature, which was reflected in my room with all the stuffed animal toys and the beach theme painted on my walls, under all the motivational posters.
Daniel sat at the foot of my bed tracing the waves on my bedspread before he spoke. “I feel like you’re avoiding me.”
I let the words hang in the air, till he lifted his blue eyes to look at me.
“I guess I have,” I replied honestly, feeling like my tummy was full of frogs jumping around.
Daniel inhaled sharply, pained by the truth. “Why?”
“Who was that woman on the beach?” I asked, looking him in the eyes to see if he would tell me.
“Which woman?” He looked away, trying to deflect my question.
“We promised we wouldn’t lie.” I sighed. “The woman on the beach after the dance.”
Even the memory of her made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
“You remember that?” he asked reluctantly, his eyes meeting mine.
All his hedging was frustrating. “Yes, Daniel or Reef or whatever!” I snapped.
“I was just hoping that...” Daniel sighed. “She’s my mother.”
“Like your biological mother?” I clung to the only explanation that was rational.
“No.” Daniel grinned. “She’s my mermaid mother.”
I gasped involuntarily, his words confirming what I refused to allow myself to believe. “How?” I pushed the hurricane of questions and emotions from my mind, so that I could focus on what Daniel was saying, but I knew they wouldn’t stay there for long.
“You saw the photos,” he said dismissively. “I became a fish, my biological parents dropped me into the sea, and Cordulla, Mother retrieved me and returned me to the city.”
He explained it like conversing about a Youtube clip, as though what he was saying was totally rational, even amusing. My mind reeled as I tried to work through what he was telling me.
“Which city?” I asked, barely able to speak around the knot in my throat.
“We call it Atlantis.” He grinned, searching for my disbelief. “Some call it Finfolkaheem; it’s on the floor of the ocean, although legend suggests it was an invisible island. Three kinds of Merfolk live there; Mermaids, like the ones with tails you read about in fairytales. Then there are Finfolk, they are shape-shifters, and they can sprout a tail or legs as the need arises. Finally there are Switchers, like me and Cordulla who were once human and then transformed into sea dwellers.”
“What do you all eat?” I asked, wanting to make sure that I wasn’t on the menu.
Daniel threw his head back and laughed, filling the room with his melodic laughter. “Fish.” He smiled, reading my body language. “You’re safe.”
I released the breath I’d been holding, comforted by his assertion. “How did it happen? Like the change...”
“It just did.” Daniel shrugged nonchalant. “No-one knows how or why it happens, but every hundred years or so, a human couple switch; they are trained by their Switcher parents, and then take their place.”
“Take their place?” I asked, confused.
“As the rulers of Atlantis...” Daniel said, the mantle of responsibility heavy on his shoulders.
“Kinda like a king and queen?” I tried to align the story with what I knew.
“Exactly like the king and queen,” he replied seriously, placing his cold hand on mine. I pulled my hand away; pretending that I had a hair that I needed to brush from my face, but the hurt in Daniel’s eyes was unmistakable.
“It’s a lot to take in.” He forced a laugh, but his eyes were boring into mine pleading for understanding.
“What happened when you arrived in Atlantis?” I asked, looking away so I wouldn’t have to meet the hurt in his eyes. My fingers toyed with my clown fish’s lips, the small motion being the only thing keeping me from tensely pacing the floor. The conversation was going to make or break our relationship. I cared so deeply for Daniel, but what he was telling me would test any reasonable person.
“I lived in my pupa for a while and then emerged as a fully fledged mythical creature,” he joked, trying to lighten the somber tone.
“A pupa like a butterfly?” I tried to understand how thorough his transformation had been.
“Yes, a proper pupa like a butterfly; I liquefied and emerged with the ability to breath under water,” he explained, pulling up his shirt and motioning toward thin lines across his back that looked like fine stretch marks. “They’re gills that help me take the oxygen from the water.”
I chewed my lip and traced one of the fine lines with my forefinger. “So, you’re a real-life mermaid?” The words were filled with disbelief and wonder.
“I prefer merman,” he joked.
I hit him with my fish. “Ya dag.” I giggled, the small release cutting through the heavy tension.
“I know that dating a mythical creature is a bit overwhelming.” He sighed, pulling me closer to him, so that our foreheads were touching. “But please don’t give up on me; I need you.”
The intensity of his eyes drew my affections toward him so keenly that I ached, but I couldn’t help feeling betrayed. “I don’t have a problem with dating a mythical creature; I have a problem with you not telling me!”
The minute the words were out, I knew they were true. Once he’d explained what he was, and that he wasn’t a threat to anyone, I could accept him. The realization that he hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me stung.
“I’m sorry,” he said, holding my face gently. “I was sure you would change and then it would be more believable.”
“Change how?” I asked, fearing that I already knew the answer.
“That you would become like me,” he said quietly. The air was heavy again, laden with emotion. The ache of wanting to be with Daniel, matched my desire to stay with my family and finish university. I felt torn in half.
“And what? Leave my family? My life? My dreams?” I whispered, taken aback.
“It’s what we are,” he pleaded, his eyes holding mine. “I saw you walking on the beach, a golden light emanated from you. That’s why I swam in; that’s why I nearly drowned and broke the treaty. I didn’t want to be without you.”
His words drew me in, and slapped me away, when I realized that there was even more he had to explain.
“Back up now?” I said, pulling away from him. “Explain.”
“I saw you on the beach. The merfolk and selkies have a treaty that prevents our kind from coming on land.” The way he said ‘our kind’ filled me with apprehension. “When I tried to meet you, the selkies pulled me back on such an angle that my gills filled my lungs with water. Wobbegong’s have the same kind of gills; it’s a fish thing. That’s why I nearly drowned. But I had to meet you and I’d do it again because you are worth it.”
His frigid hand reached out tentatively to caress my cheek; I had to steel myself against his beautiful eyes.
“That’s crazy,” I whispered, feeling overwhelmed. It thrilled me to hear how much I meant to Daniel, but I didn’t want to mean more to him than his life. While I cared about him, the thought of becoming a half-fish was less than appealing.
“I know it’s all sudden and intense.” He sighed, clasping my hand. “It’s fate. You’ll turn; I know it.”
“And if I don’t?” I asked. I wasn’t mermaid material; I had hips like a bear, and boobs that would look terrible in seashells. I missed the days when I feared a super model girlfriend; it was far less complicated than pressure to turn into a supposedly mythical sea creature.
“I still want you and no one else,” he replied, kissing my forehead.
His cold lips brushed across my skin, filling my body with a tingly sensation; his blue eyes were so genuine. Daniel Esso was offering me his heart, and all I had to do was accept. In that moment I decided to follow my heart or lust or whatever it was that drew me to Daniel, because it felt right, fateful. I smiled wrapping my arms around him.
“I want you too,” I whispered, kissing his cold cheek.
We kissed for a long while reacquainting ourselves after our brief estrangement.
“So, you’re a prince?” I stated chagrinned, as we reclined on my bed holding each other.
Daniel ran his hand awkwardly through his hair. “Yeah, I guess. Mother is the queen, so it stands to reason.”
“Doesn’t she have any other kids?” I asked.
“Our kind doesn’t procreate. That’s why we’re the royal family; we don’t have children to distract us. We start out human and then a mutant gene makes us Switchers, never to walk among humans again. Your delayed turning has given me a chance to come home, to remember my parents and my life. Most of our kind never have that opportunity; it makes us cold-blooded in every sense of the word.”
My head felt overfull from all that he was saying. Choosing Daniel meant leaving my family and never being able to have children and ruling people who were essentially fish.
“I don’t want to lose my family,” I told him, looking at our fingers intertwined. The words made tears well in my eyes.
“You won’t,” he assured me. “I remember, so when you change, I’ll remind you. I won’t let you become like Mother.”
“It’s so weird; the average girl has one mother-in-law to hate on her, and I’ve got two,” I joked. In the short time I’d met Cordulla, I was convinced that her hatred was no laughing matter. I winced remembering her cold demeanor.
“Lucky Sophia adores you then,” Daniel laughed, assuming there was no truth in my words.
“She knows that I’m the one keeping you on shore,” I said, realizing why Sophia was so fond of me.
“I don’t know if she could articulate it, but I think she strongly suspects that you’re the reason I’m back,” Daniel agreed, squeezing my hand.
I snuggled closer to Daniel, filling my nostrils with his aquatic scent.
"I'm glad I could finally tell you all this," Daniel said his voice bubbling with excitement.
"Me too." I smiled feeling normal for the first time in days.
"The full moon is in less than a week," Daniel mused somberly. "I wish you could come with me to the parley. The selkies are our sworn enemies; I don't trust them not to ambush us at the meeting. You’ve had lots of experience with crazy people, dealing with Miranda and all …"
“Thanks,” I exclaimed, sarcastically.
"No, I take it back.” He rethought, his eyes widening with horror. “I don’t wish that you could be there; the selkies are thieves and murderers. I would never want you to be anywhere near them.” He held me closer, as though mentioning their names was dangerous.
"I don't imagine Cordulla would appreciate me attending," I replied, shivering at the thought of something happening to Daniel.
"Probably not, but you're going to be my queen," Daniel stated, dogmatically.
"Is that a proposal?" I teased, giggling at the preposterous notion of getting engaged so young.
"Do you want it to be?" he asked seriously, his eyes searching mine.
My heart did six beats instead of one. "Let's just deal with one thing at a time," I replied, laughing it off. I loved Daniel, but getting married was more than a little premature; we’d only been dating for a few weeks and had known each other for less than six months. While I was all about being young and in-love, I wasn’t’ going to go nuts and get married.
"Will I forget you when you return to the sea?" I asked, remembering Cordulla's threats.
"I hope not." Daniel swallowed, looking away.
"But there's a chance I will," I finished.
"If you remember Cordulla, I have no doubt you'll remember me." He exhaled, hugging me.
"You need to tell your mum if you're going away," I warned Daniel.
"I will." He exhaled heavily. "She'll be heart broken, but I'll be back soon. I'll need to leave in the next couple of days to find out what's going on and then go to parley."
My heart sank at the thought of going to school without him. It made me feel like my reign at school was in jeopardy, usually that wouldn't bother me. I had liked being invisible; but it irked me to think of Miranda being cruel to my friends on account of me. As long as I had the ability to protect them I would.
After Daniel left I began to plan for school. I stood in our pink bathroom with the clashing mats and towels staring at myself in the mirror. My face seemed too red and my saddlebag hips were so inconvenient. I scrunched my hair to get some curl definition, but it was futile; it lived in no-man’s-land between straight and curly. It wasn't possible that I could be as beautiful as Cordulla or Daniel. It seemed like a goof in the universe that Daniel would choose me. I would cherish him as long as he let me and probably beyond.
The parley was set for Friday night, so Daniel left Wednesday. Sophia was devastated, but hopeful that he would be back after the weekend. Neither Sophia nor I dared to think that Daniel might not return.
folklore
I didn't realize how much time I had spent with Daniel till he left. His absence left a gaping hole in my schedule, not to mention my affections. As long as he was gone I purposed to spend my time wisely, which meant not sitting around wondering where he was, or what he was doing.
Surprisingly, Daniel's absence was barely noticed at school. Tamara, Tammy, and Jaimie picked me up before school, and we spent most of our time in our usual pursuits. Miranda asked where Daniel was, and I explained he was sick and taking a few days to recover. The others didn't even seem to remember Daniel; he was like a blind spot in their memories.
After the first day, I was totally relieved that nothing had drastically changed. I'd begun to wonder if Daniel had been the driving force behind my popularity, but his absence had made little difference, confirming my place in school social structure. It was nice to know that people liked me for me, and that my non-catty approach to popularity continued, along with the peaceful vibe that Daniel had instigated.
I finished my homework in record time without Daniel staring or the obligatory pashing.
Despite my best efforts to act like everything was normal, I missed Daniel. I worried that he was in danger, and there was nothing I could do to protect him. I worried that Cordulla would convince him to never see me again. Thinking about Daniel filled me with apprehension as heavy as a car sitting on my chest.
Unfortunately, Mum and Dad were both busy. Dad was studying to upgrade his electrician’s license, while Mum and Sophia were decorating the Esso mansion in Daniel’s absence. A pastime that Sophia had thrown herself into with renewed vigor.
My only distraction was when Dad would teach me self-defense moves; I hoped that I’d never need to use them.
When the isolation was too much, I turned to the bookcase for a distraction. I found a thin book from the 80s with a seal on the cover. It was not unusual of the op-shop books that Mum brought home; what caught my attention was the title. A single word: Selkie.
I'd tried to block out of my mind the impending war between the mermaids and selkies. Till that moment I had assumed that selkies were another class of merperson. I clicked on Mum's computer, the fan whirring into action, while the computer slowly mobilized itself. Why was it that it took the computer twice as long to get going when I was in a hurry? I googled selkie, and found a Wikipedia post. Selkies were not mermaids, though they did live in the sea.
Selkies were enchanted humans in Irish folklore, who were turned into seals as part of a curse. They needed their furs to transform into seals, though some were able to shape-shift. Male selkies were attractive and were rumored to offer comfort to ladies who were lonely in seaside villages. They were easily summoned by shedding seven tears in the sea. Female selkies were not stunningly beautiful, but humans seemed to be attracted to them and would keep them by stealing their furs.
Being Irish folklore, it only made sense that they would have immigrated to Australia. My mind flashed back to endless walks along Queenscliff beach and snorkeling off the Mud Is
lands. Every year on my birthday Mum would take me on a cruise to swim with the dolphins, though the most exciting part was swimming with the seals at Seal Rock.
There was an audible pop in my brain as I remembered the one occasion Mum came close to hitting me. We were cleaning out our closets to give clothes to Goodwill, and I accidentally grabbed a pile from her closet that she hadn't intended to give away.
She began throwing clothes wildly around the room searching for the missing article. I was 13-years-old at the time; she grabbed my shoulders so hard that her fingers left red marks on my skin. "Where is it?" she demanded.
I had no idea what she meant until she found it in the Goodwill bag.
"Never ever give this away," she told me, showing me what looked like a fur rug.
I had nodded, tears in my eyes, and kept my promise.
Pushing my chair away from the computer I walked to my parents’ room in a daze. I rolled the big mirrored cupboard doors open and dug around in my mum’s clothes. I began to relax; she must have given it away.
"What were you thinking?" I chuckled out loud.
Then my fingers swept across something soft and furry. I grasped the item and pulled it out, toppling a pile of Mums T-shirts onto the carpet.
I stumbled backward onto the bed. In the mirror I saw a pale teenage girl brandishing what was without a doubt a seal fur.
selkie
My mind worked overtime trying to reconcile what I’d read and what I knew, but it was all too much. I was so preoccupied with trying to work out why Mum would have a seal fur, that I didn’t even hear her walking toward her room.
"What are you doing in here?" Mum asked, discovering me on her bed clutching the seal fur.
The most remarkable thing about my mother was her sense of timing; she told amazing jokes and looked like a rock star, even in the most awkward moments, because she had a keen sense of timing. It only made sense she would walk in just when I needed her. I was comforted and unnerved by her appearance. I wanted to talk to her as much as I didn’t.