by Anthology
Some nights, Vaughn stayed after the others left. He would sit before her cage and speak in his mutilated Sualwet. She would nod and smile, baring her teeth the way the Erdlanders did. Eventually, she found herself unable to tolerate listening to his garbled words any longer, and over time she began correcting his pronunciation.
One night, he told her about his life, his family. He was to be married soon, and Nilafay shared stories of Adal with him. Perhaps if he knew she was to be married too, he might understand and help her. Maybe he would let her go. Instead, he pressed his lips together and left.
Vaughn didn’t return for nine nights.
Nilafay found herself missing his company. As much as she resisted, she enjoyed their conversations. It disgusted her that she had come to rely on his presence. She hated him, hated him more for the things he did when Rhine was around, now that she had begun to believe there was some good in him. He was soft, weak, pliant. And yet, she couldn’t help but wish he’d return.
The prisoner in the adjacent cage no longer looked at her, and Jisquekai’s cage remained empty. Lately, the Sualwet on the far end barely complained when taken from his cage. He did as he was told, nothing more than a trapped animal.
On the tenth night, Vaughn finally returned. Accompanying him were two furred creatures that walked on all fours. They stood tall, their black-and-gray backs reaching his waist, and they had watery eyes, long snouts, and pointed ears. Hounds. She had heard of how ancient Sualwets had once hunted these kinds of animals for meat. The hounds wagged their long tails, and their tongues lolled out of their mouths.
Nilafay thought they looked ridiculous, but the other two Sualwets scurried to the back of their cages. Vaughn left the hounds there to snuffle at the cage doors. She reached forward, stretching out her arm to touch their strange, elongated snouts.
As her long, thin fingers approached the bars, the hound nearest her took a deep breath, a long inhale that made its nose quiver and its ears fold down along its head. A deep rumble began in its chest, vibrating up its throat as its hair stood on end.
She froze, her hand hanging in the air, almost within reach.
The sound grew louder and lower, ripping through her mind like a parasitic worm. She shook. Her body vibrated with the timbre of the animal’s growl.
It lunged forward, and Nilafay tumbled back, jerking her hand away just as sharp teeth wrapped around the bars of her cage. Hot breath shot from the beast’s nose.
Why would Vaughn do this? Why would he bring these monsters here and leave her alone with them? He never glanced her way or said a word, and her loneliness froze in her heart. What had she done wrong to drive him away?
Why did she care?
She hated the yearning in her chest when thinking of the time he’d spent speaking with her. Even in the company of two other Sualwets, she felt so alone. The walls of her cage crept closer, and the confines of the prison shrank until she could barely breathe. She inhaled deep breaths in quick succession to keep from drowning in the dry air. The room spun and her vision grayed. Gods, she felt like she would either throw up or pass out. She didn’t even know which one to pray for as long as something happened to relieve the pain in her chest.
“Sit,” the prisoner in the cage next to hers said. His voice was full of scratchy tones similar to the way the Erdlanders spoke. He was drying from the inside out, just like her. Soon they’d both be shells, fossils of bone and flesh. “Come sit here and slow your breaths.”
She sat against the bars near him, and he reached over, taking her hand in his. His cool touch helped her remember who she was, and soon she drifted to sleep.
In the morning, she awoke to Rhine’s gruff voice.
“Another jikmae failure!” He slammed his fist against the examination table, rattling the metal slab.
Vaughn replied in their gruff animal language. Nilafay hadn’t yet learned enough to follow along, but she picked out the words girl, waste, and dead.
“No, please!” she cried and slapped her hand over her mouth. She hadn’t meant to speak aloud.
The two men turned to stare at her. Vaughn’s eyes met hers, and sadness reflected back.
Rhine nodded and spoke quickly to Vaughn, gesturing with his hands. It was as if she hadn’t spoken at all, but she knew that drawing attention to herself had sealed her own fate.
Vaughn seemed to argue, standing up to the older man for the first time. He spoke in his gruff way, the words breaking off in his mouth as he chewed on them.
Rhine smiled and laid a hand on Vaughn’s shoulder, sending a glance in my direction.
Hope surged in her heart. Maybe Vaughn would save her. Maybe he would reason with Rhine on her behalf. He’d finally stood up for her.
But her hope dropped into her stomach like a boulder falling from a cliff into the sea. It turned to dread and fear as Vaughn turned away from her pleading eyes and nodded.
First, they called a guard to take the hounds away then pulled the prisoner at the end of the row of cages from his cell. When they laid the Sualwet on the table, they placed a mask over his face and gave him a shot in the arm. Nilafay watched as his body went limp. Soon his chest no longer moved with breath.
She had to look away when they sliced into his chest with a scalpel, but she could still hear the sounds of bone cracking and flesh being pulled apart. They had killed him. They’d done it on purpose, not like with Jisquekai, who had already been dead when they dissected him. This time, they sought out this prisoner’s death, brought it down with a speedy vengeance and delivered it to a man who had done nothing but suffer the entire time she had known him.
She longed to reach out for the Sualwet in the cage next to her, but she doubted he would touch her this time. She had done this, she was sure of it. Somehow she had inspired a thought in Rhine which had led to this horror. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to plug her ears against the ghastly sounds of a body being dismantled for no reason but the pleasure of her captors.
When they finished, Nilafay turned to find Vaughn staring at her, his face pale and drawn.
Rhine yanked off a pair of plastic gloves dripping with the man’s blood from his hand. The pliant material made a sucking, smacking sound as it released each finger. He said something in Erdlander and threw the gloves on the table.
Nilafay curled on her bed, hands over her ears, trying to shut out the sound of the guards coming to collect the body. It wasn’t even a man anymore, just a body.
More than anything, she missed the water. Her throat hurt, and the tears she wanted to shed for her fellow Sualwet wouldn’t come. She longed for the glimmering stars as they swam above the surface of the water, their light fading to gray the deeper she sank.
She couldn’t sink deep enough to escape the things she’d seen. No matter how many leagues she put between herself and this horror, she would never get far enough away. But she could go no farther than the confines of this small cage she could barely stand in and the scratchy fabric covering the pallet she slept on. If the stars could fade away, why couldn’t she? Why couldn’t she hide from all of this?
She wrapped her arms tight around herself and pressed her face into the mattress. The tighter she squeezed her eyes shut, the louder her heart beat. She took refuge there, counting the uneven rhythm to herself as she sobbed her dry tears.
Eventually, she fell asleep. The room faded away, and she returned to the star lilies and her private refuge. She imagined letting her legs dangle in the water to soak up all the moisture her body had grown so desperate for. The moons shone above, and the ruby moon winked with a devilish smile, mocking her fantasy. Even in her dream she knew it wasn’t real.
There was no escape for her.
She woke to a hand on her shoulder. Rhine and Vaughn must have left, and her fellow captive had reached out. She sighed and placed her hand atop his, needing the comfort so much it brought a new wave of grief to cover her heart.
“Neela?”
She turned to find Vaughn touching
her shoulder, his face ashen, his eyes filled with tears of his own.
She jerked her hand away and sat up. Her chest tightened at him being so close to her, and she pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them protectively.
“Here.” He held out a glass of water.
She wanted to say no. She wanted to reject his kindness and refuse to even look at him. But she was weak and so thirsty, drying from the inside out. She grabbed the glass and drank the whole thing in one gulp, letting water run out the sides of her mouth. She wanted to pour it over her head, roll around in it until she’d absorbed every molecule.
“More?” he asked, taking the glass from her hand. He left her in the cage and refilled the glass in the sink across the room. The door stood open while his back was turned, but she just sat, staring at her chance for freedom, unable to move. Where would she even go? Her desperation for another simple glass of water was more pressing than even the thought of escape.
Vaughn returned, leaving the cage door open.
She took the glass from his outstretched hand and drank it down again, finally beginning to feel like she could breathe again. When she handed the cup back, he placed it on the ground and stared at her, his round eyes so full of white she imagined she could see through them.
“I’m sorry,” he said, lowering his head.
“It was horrible.”
“Horrable,” he repeated, mispronouncing the word but nodding as he said it. “I’m so sorry.” He dropped his head to his chest and began to cry the tears she’d been so desperate to shed.
She sat and watched. What should she do? She’d never seen a man cry before, not even her father. It was a waste, inefficient. She expected to hate him for it, but instead it pulled her toward him. She uncurled her legs and reached out, running her fingers through the strange hair on his head.
He looked up at her, his eyes so wet they reminded her of home. When he leaned forward, she didn’t pull back. She tolerated the touch of his hand on her cheek and the rough feeling of his fingertips as they ran down her neck and shoulder.
More than anything, she wanted to feel, to not be alone or scared or here. Anywhere but here would be better. She’d seen too much, heard too much. It was impossible for her to pretend she was still the girl who had ventured to the shore on her wedding day.
Everything she’d ever been had been obliterated.
Vaughn pressed his lips to hers. She expected to stiffen and force herself to endure the touch the way she had in the past, but instead she closed her eyes and leaned into him, smelling the deep, harsh scent of his body. It had become so familiar. She found it comforting now instead of repulsive as she once had.
When he opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, she reciprocated.
He moaned and leaned against her, guiding her body down to the pallet she slept on, she let it happen. She took what he offered, letting him caress her body. His tears fell on her face as he pushed into her, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, needing to feel. She took everything he gave and lost herself in a moment of feeling something other than fear and loss. His whispered promises of love and protection worked their way through her, unraveling all the knots she’d tied herself into.
If she had been stronger, she would have told him no. But she needed something of her own. Something beautiful and special. Something to hold on to as she broke apart.
After they finished, he fell asleep wrapped around her, and she lay deathly still, staring at the open cage door.
As Vaughn’s breathing slowed and settled into the pattern of deep sleep, she counted the bars above her and traced the pattern of her prison with her eyes.
She slipped from beneath his heavy arm and tiptoed to the entrance of the cage.
Vaughn murmured in his sleep, and she turned back. She didn’t love him, but she regretted leaving him like this. No matter what he’d said, she knew he could never free her. Even if he did release her, he’d take her to his home, forcing her into yet another prison. There was no life here for her. Her home was beneath the sea with Adal.
But her heart lurched at the thought of what she’d shared with this strange man. She could never tell anyone.
She tiptoed out into the main room and closed the cage behind her. The clank of metal on metal woke Vaughn.
“Where are you going?” he demanded sleepily.
“Home.” Nilafay placed her hand on the bars as he stood and rushed over to her. “I have to go home.”
Vaughn grabbed bars and shook them, trying to open the locked door.
She knew they were unmovable. She’d been locked within for so long that any hope for a weakness in their design had fled.
“No!” He reached out through the bars and grabbed her arm. “You can’t. I love you.”
Nilafay jerked away and squared her shoulders. “I know.” She dared a look at her fellow captive, her only friend whose name she still didn’t know. “I love you too,” she whispered to his understanding eyes, the words a final good-bye.
The Sualwet man nodded in understanding.
“You bitch!” Vaughn screamed, rattling the cage. He roared for the guards, but no one came through the door.
Nilafay watched stoically as he exhausted himself and then left without a word.
She crept to the door, opening it slowly and peeking outside. The hall was empty, and a windowed door glowed with early morning light. Her every step echoed off the walls, no matter how carefully she walked. Her heart pounded so loud she was certain she would bring the guards down on herself.
The door opened without resistance.
Could it be this easy? Could she really be escaping?
Outside, the ruby moon hung low in the sky, and she could smell the distant brine of home. No one saw her as she took off at a run, following the scent of the sea. She broke through a line of trees and stumbled. Weak, dehydrated, and so heart-heavy it seemed as though the ground itself were pulling her down, she ran.
Nilafay ran.
***
As soon as her feet touched the water, relief swelled within her. Her hunger and terror dissipated into the sea as she sank down below the waves. She left the pursuing men and hounds on the shore and swam harder and faster than she ever had in her life. The world around her darkened as she dove deeper, her webbed feet propelling her far below the surface.
In the water, she could hear the distant song of her people and the pulsing life of the other water-dwelling creatures. She breathed it all in, filling her body with the bliss of finally being sated. The sea welcomed her home with its warm embrace, and she willed herself to forget everything she’d seen on land. She would never tell anyone how she’d gotten away.
Vaughn would be nothing but a dream.
Nilafay swam directly for the Domed City. Upon reaching the farms along the ridge of the drop-off, she delighted in the sway of the vegetation, which reminded her that she hadn’t eaten anything that tasted like food in what felt like a lifetime. How long had she been gone? Days? Months? Would Adal still be waiting for her when she returned? Would he still want her if he knew what she’d done?
It didn’t matter. She’d survived. She’d done what needed to be done to come through a terror no one else could understand. She walled her heart off, shielding herself from pain as she prepared herself to tell her father almost everything that had happened. She wouldn’t utter Vaughn’s name, and she wouldn’t tell them about the man she left behind. That shame would be hers alone to bear.
At the perimeter of the city, dwellings spotted the sea floor. She swam through them, and familiar smells of home welcomed her back. The Domed City loomed before her, impossibly huge and imposing. Home.
At the main gates, fatigue overtook her. Her high from escaping left, and she had no strength remaining. She began floating up, unable to keep her body in place. The floor drifted away, and she pushed herself to swim, to fight. She could make it. Her body ached and resisted as she forced it to work harder, to push just this fina
l distance. She spread her toes and swam with a flail that barely propelled her forward, but soon she reached the airlock and collapsed inside.
Sterilized air whooshed over her as she lost consciousness.
***
She woke in her own bed. Serishee sat next to her, holding her hand. Tears streamed down her face.
Nilafay was certain her bedroom and the housefille were a dream and that she was actually still in the cage back in Rhine’s horror chamber. Her body shook. Terror and fatigue wracked through her.
“You’re safe,” Serishee whispered, squeezing her hand.
It was the first time the girl had ever touched Nilafay. Under different circumstances, the presumptuousness of such a thing would have upset her, but she was so desperate, so broken, that she reached for the girl with her other hand and sobbed.
Serishee came to sit on the bed next to her and wrapped her arms around Nilafay’s shoulders, pulling her into her lap.
She fell back asleep, warm and finally home.
When she woke again, Serishee was gone. Nilafay sat up and searched for her in the darkened room but found her mother instead.
Mother stood at the other side of Nilafay’s room, hands clasped together in front of her. “Your father would like to speak with you if you’re feeling up to it.”
No embrace. No welcoming home. No show of concern.
Her mother showed no emotion as she watched Nilafay struggle to sit up. She simply nodded and left her daughter alone to dress.
Standing took considerable more effort than Nilafay had expected. The dehydration, hunger, and the crushing gravity of the time she’d spent above ground had affected her body in ways she couldn’t compensate for. She stumbled across her room, falling to the ground in a heap, but the impact of the floor against her knees and hands almost felt good. Solid. It placed her in the physical world instead of feeling like she floated through air, never to land again.