Anticipation
by Sarah Mayberry
Published by Small Cow Productions Pty Ltd
Copyright 2015 Small Cow Productions Pty Ltd
Cover by Out of House Creative
ISBN 978-0-9873160-2-8
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this e-book with another person, please do so through your retailer’s approved lending program. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use, then please return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. To obtain permission to excerpt portions of the text, please contact the author at [email protected]
All characters in this book are fiction and figments of the author’s
imagination
www.sarahmayberry.com
Author’s Note
They say it takes a village to raise a child - well, it takes a lot of patience from a husband and a dog to produce a book. Thank you, darling Chris and Max, for bearing with me through madness and delirium. Anticipation has been rattling around in my brain for a long time now, and I want to acknowledge the patience and enthusiasm of all the readers who took the time to make contact with me via email or Facebook or Twitter to let me know they were waiting for Blue and Eddie’s story. Your enthusiasm and support made all the difference as I wrestled this story into submission. I’d also like to thank writing buddies Mel Scott, Joan Kilby, Samantha Hunter and Marie Force who have all helped keep me sane through this very convoluted process. Last, but never, ever least, a big thanks to the magical Ms W. You are the bee’s knees, my dear. Thank you for having my back.
I hope you enjoy Blue and Eddie’s story. For news about my new releases, click here to sign up to my newsletter.
Chapter One
Her life would be so much easier if she could hate him. Better yet, feel nothing at all. A lovely, soothing blankness.
God, that would be good.
Blue Sullivan knocked back the remainder of her vodka as she watched the man on the dance floor. His brown hair came close to brushing his shoulders, and dark jeans hugged his thighs as his lean, muscular body moved sinuously to the music. No embarrassing foot-to-foot shuffling or fist pumping like the other men on the dance floor. In fact, he was so good that if she didn’t know better, she’d think he was a professional.
She did know better, though. She knew Eduardo Oliveira better than she knew anyone in the entire world, because she’d been his friend and co-worker for more than ten years now. She’d also been in love with him for all of those years. Most of the time loving him in silence was okay. Tonight…not so much.
Tonight, loving Eddie was a curse, a burden, a punishment.
Tonight, it hurt to watch him flirt with other women.
The feeling would pass soon enough — it always did — but that didn’t make it any easier to bear.
Eduardo got up close and personal behind a tall blonde on the dance floor — one of Maggie Hendricks’s friends, which made sense since this was Maggie’s birthday party — his hips moving suggestively against the woman’s as he wrapped an arm around her waist. For a few seconds they did the sexy, grinding-in-unison thing to the pumping bass beat. The woman reached back to splay a hand on Eduardo’s thigh, her bright red nails digging into the fabric, and the hot burn of jealousy became a physical pain in Blue’s belly.
Yeah. Too much fun.
She turned away. She didn’t need to see more to know what was going to happen. In the very near future — an hour or two, max — Maggie’s friend would follow in the footsteps of countless other women when she hit the sheets with Eddie. It was as inevitable and predictable as the sun setting, the tide turning, and other immutable, incontrovertible forces of nature. This was what Eddie always did when he broke up with a girlfriend: spend a few weeks being a complete pants man, sleeping with whichever hot women crossed his path, before once again slipping into a relationship with some poor, deluded idiot who was convinced she could reform a man who freely admitted he was hopeless at relationships, yet stumbled into them anyway.
Blue made her way through the crowd to the bar, signaling for the bartender to hit her with another delightfully numbing vodka. Eddie had broken up with his most recent girlfriend, Denise, a few days ago, so Blue shouldn’t have been surprised that he was diving straight into his man-whoring ways. She wasn’t privy to the details of the breakup — as occasionally happened, there had been a distance in their friendship outside of work as the girlfriend demanded all of Eddie’s attention. Eddie’s women were always either jealous of Blue, or wanted to be her new best friend, the world’s most obvious neutralize-the-perceived-threat gambit and one Blue had long since learned to side-step. Still, she could guess what had gone wrong, because it was the same thing that always went wrong: Denise had wanted more, campaigning hard to take their relationship beyond sex and good times, and Eddie had pushed to maintain the status quo. Denise had then probably done one of two things: issued an ultimatum, or tried to manipulate him with tears. Both tactics would have triggered Eddie’s get-the-hell-out-of-Dodge instinct, hence him burning up the dance floor with a tall blonde whose name Blue could never quite hang onto. Chloe? Cleo? Something sexy to match her long, straight hair and legs-up-to-her-armpits.
“Hey. There you are.” Maggie brushed against Blue’s shoulder as she joined her at the bar. “Having a good time?”
“I think I’m supposed to ask you that,” Blue said, taking in her friend’s flushed face and curly blonde hair. “Many happies, birthday girl.” She raised her glass in a salute.
“I need to talk to you about this.” Maggie thrust her arm in Blue’s direction.
An Art Deco marquisette watch circled Maggie’s wrist, the numerals picked out in stylized script. A perfect match for her vintage fifties dress, even if Blue did say so herself.
“If it’s too big, I can get it adjusted,” Blue said.
“I said no presents. I insisted Rafel add that to the invitation,” Maggie said.
“I know. I am just a total bitch when it comes to things like acknowledging my friend’s special day. Sorry,” Blue said, utterly unrepentant. Maggie was the bee’s knees, and no way was Blue letting her birthday pass unmarked. If life had taught Blue anything, it was to value the good people around her.
“It’s enough for me that you’re all here,” Maggie said. “I don’t need presents. This is too much, Blue.”
“Okay. I’ll take it back.”
Blue reached for Maggie’s wrist, but Maggie jerked her arm out of reach.
Blue grinned at her. “Ha. Admit it, you like it.”
“Are you kidding? I freaking love it. It’s so gorgeous, I almost swallowed my own tongue when I opened the box. But you still shouldn’t have.”
Blue looked her friend in the eye solemnly. “It was my pleasure. I saw it, I thought of you, and I knew it had to come home with me. Enjoy.”
Maggie blinked a couple of times, then suddenly she was hugging Blue, her cheek pressed against Blue’s.
“Meeting Rafel is the best thing that ever happened to me, but you and Eddie are the second best. I love you, Blue.”
The unfamiliar sting of tears burned at the back of Blue’s eyes as she returned Maggie’s embrace. The L-word wasn’t something Blue threw around like confetti at a wedding — never had been — but she didn’t hesitate. “Love you, too,” she said, her chest tight with emotion.
She’d known Maggie for only eighteen months, but in that time Blue had come to appreciate her friend’s smarts, kindness and generosity. Maggie was a keeper, the sort of friend a woman took to her grave.
“Wait until it’s your birthday. I
am going to spoil you rotten in retaliation,” Maggie said. “Once I find out when it is.”
Blue smiled mysteriously. She didn’t do birthdays. Hadn’t for a long, long time. Consequently, none of her friends knew her birth date, and she liked it that way.
“Come on. If you don’t tell me when it is, I’ll just make up a date.”
“You can try.”
“Blue.”
“Maggie.”
Their stand-off lasted all of five seconds until Rafel Oliveira swooped in on his woman, wrapping his arms around Maggie from behind and nuzzling her neck by way of greeting.
Blue looked away to study her leather biker boots. She didn’t begrudge Rafel and Maggie their happiness — the opposite, in fact — but it was hard to watch two people who were so patently, incandescently in love. A little like staring at the sun — there was definitely the risk you might go blind if you looked too long.
“Doing your best to blow out the bar tab, I see,” Rafel said when he’d finished mauling Maggie’s neck. Unlike his identical twin, Rafel’s hair was cut in an edgy short style, a fashion choice which made it easier for the rest of the world to tell him and Eddie apart. It didn’t make any difference for Blue — she’d always known which brother she was talking to, from the moment they first met.
“You’re the fool who handed over his credit card,” she said.
The truth was she’d been going easy on the vodka until she’d seen Eddie on the dance floor with the blonde. Now, getting drunk seemed like a good plan for the evening. Or maybe getting laid. Or both.
It had been a month or so since she’d called Reid, her current friend-with-benefits, but she was pretty sure he’d be up for a booty call if she dropped him a line. She thought about his big, highly developed body. The man had muscles on his muscles, and he knew his way around the bedroom. Yeah, a few hours of sweaty, mindless sex would surely cure what ailed her. Then by morning, tonight’s ridiculous jealousy and sensitivity would be a thing of the past, and everything would be back to normal.
Amen.
“Scuse me a sec, just need to make a call,” she said, easing away from the bar and pulling out her phone.
Reid was a former client who had never made a secret of his admiration for her while she worked on the full back tattoo he’d commissioned. All the same, she’d allowed a respectable six months to pass before she took him up on his offer of a good time, and they’d hooked up half a dozen times since on a completely random basis. He answered on the second ring, and his “Come on over,” was gratifyingly unhesitating and eager.
And why wouldn’t it be? She was a hot tamale. A pocket rocket. A bona fide hottie.
“When are you going to get here?” Reid asked, and she glanced at Eddie, who was still doing his thing with Maggie’s friend.
“Give me twenty,” she said.
She’d had enough to drink that she would have to get a cab, but Reid’s place wasn’t far, and there was no reason to stay here and perpetuate the torture. She wasn’t into self-flagellation. She turned to offer her apologies to Maggie for bailing while the party was still going strong, but she and Rafel had disappeared. Deciding she could make her excuses on Monday, Blue grabbed her denim jacket and headed for the door.
She smiled at familiar faces as she wove through the crowd, but she didn’t let anyone waylay her. She was mere feet from her goal when her path was blocked by a hard male body.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Eddie asked, one hand catching her shoulder.
His hand felt extraordinarily hot against her bare skin and she had to resist the urge to shake him off. He touched her all the time — casually, platonically — and usually she welcomed the easy affection behind his gestures. Tonight, though…
“I have an appointment,” she said, gazing at him. His shoulders looked impossibly wide in the snug black tank top he wore. His clear green eyes were steady on her face.
“I thought we’d kick on to Subterrain, or maybe Mojo,” he said.
“You mean you assumed we would.”
“Come on, Blue, don’t give me a hard time. I need to dance. And not to this shitty teen crap.”
“I’m busy.” She gestured for him to get out of the way.
“Cancel whatever it is and come dancing with me.” He gave her his best wicked-naughty smile, the one that had charmed so many women out of their underwear.
“Let me get this straight — you pretty much ignore me for the past two months, except when we’re at work, but now I’m supposed to drop everything because you suddenly want to party?”
Eddie had the grace to look a little shamefaced. “You’re seriously giving me a hard time over Denise?”
“Yeah, Eddie, I am.” She lifted her chin, daring him to try to sweep his shitty behavior under the rug.
“She was jealous. You know how it goes,” he said.
“Of course I know how it goes. Doesn’t make you being a douche bag okay.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I was trying to do the right thing.”
“The right thing by whom?” She could hear the bite beneath her words and hated herself for it. She wasn’t an abandoned puppy, whining for her master’s attention. Just because she loved Eddie didn’t mean she was his doormat. She had her own life, her own needs and wants and ambitions. The day she forgot that was the day she took a long walk off a short pier. “You know what? Forget about it. I’m sure the blonde will go to Subterrain with you.”
“Blue. Come on.”
His other hand landed on her opposite shoulder, preventing her from leaving. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. She wasn’t giving in on this. She had her self-respect.
“I’m not some toy you can pick up and put down when it suits you. I’m a person. I’m supposed to be your friend,” she said.
“You really want to get into this?”
She didn’t move, and neither did he. She clenched her jaw, holding back the rush of words crowding her throat. No way was she telling him how much she’d missed him. How much he’d hurt her with his benign, casual neglect. No. Freaking. Way.
“I’m sorry,” he said after a long beat. “I should have told her to get over it.”
He was sincere, she could see it in his face. She felt herself waver, and when he slid his hand from her shoulder to the back of her neck, she softened even more.
“I’m a dumb asshole, and I really am sorry. You know I couldn’t live without you,” he said, his voice rough and low with emotion.
Every inch of her was aware of the place where his palm pressed against her nape. He stood so close she could smell his deodorant and the warm scent of his skin.
“Don’t do it again,” she said, her voice just as rough and low as his.
“I won’t. Scout’s honor.”
“Like you were ever a Scout.”
“I like to camp. That counts.”
She aimed a finger at him, stabbing him in the chest with it. “Don’t try to be charming. I’m not one of your women.”
Which was the whole point, really.
He did his best to look suitably chastened. “So, you want to grab a cab now or hang out here a bit more before we kick on?”
Was he serious? Had he not heard a word she’d said?
“I told you, I have other plans.” And she refused to drop everything just because he’d crooked his little finger, apology or no apology.
“To do what?”
“To have my brains fucked out.”
His hand slid away from her neck. “Tell me you’re not hooking up with that asshole.”
“Could you be more specific?”
“Reid.” He said the single word with a pronounced, very Brazilian curl of his lip.
“None of your business.”
He frowned. They knew each other too well for him to read her evasion as anything other than assent.
“The guy is trouble, Blue.”
“I’m not marrying him. There’s no need for you to get your pan
ties in a wad.”
She knew why Eddie was worried — they were both privy to the talk that floated around Brothers Ink, the tattoo studio Rafel and Eddie owned together. Rumor had it that Reid was connected to the local biker gang, but what did that matter to her? The only part of him she was interested in was his body, and then only for the next few hours.
“Can you not be a smart-ass for five seconds? The guy is bad news.” Eddie’s accent was more pronounced, a sure sign he was getting worked up.
“I can run my own private life, thanks.”
She shouldered past him but knew without looking that he followed her outside. It was cold, a typical mid-winter Melbourne night, the wind sharp as a knife. Eddie caught the collar of her denim jacket as she tried to shrug into it, jerking it away from her.
“Will you listen to me?”
She spun toward him, all the hurt of the past few months welling up inside her. “No, I won’t. You’ve been AWOL from my life for three months, Eddie. You don’t get to throw your weight around when you haven’t been around.”
“Fine. Be shitty with me, do whatever you need to do. But stay away from Reid, okay? Promise me.”
There was so much fierce protection in his eyes. If his sister hadn’t died young, Blue imagined he would have been like this with her, too. Determined to save her from herself.
For some reason, it made Blue even madder. He was such an infuriating, self-indulgent, lazy, arrogant prick sometimes.
“You worry about your own sex life. God knows it’s enough of a disaster zone.”
“This isn’t about me.”
She pulled her jacket from his grasp and slipped into it. “I can look after myself.”
Eddie knew that better than most, which made his big-brother routine even more laughable.
“Go find that blonde. Odds are good she’ll do anything you tell her to,” she told him before turning away.
The traffic cleared for a brief moment and she stepped onto the street. She could feel Eddie watching her, could feel the gravitational pull of his disapproval, anger, and concern, but she didn’t so much as glance back. She was too pissed with him, for too many reasons to count.
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