He should have sent Leanne away when she’d shown up last night. He had no idea why he hadn’t. Habit, maybe. Reluctance to deal with her hurt feelings, perhaps. He certainly hadn’t been interested in what she was offering — far from it. And yet he’d still let her stay while Blue retreated to her room like a second-class citizen.
God, he was such a douche bag.
Hard on the heels of the thought came a surge of determination. His head came up.
He might have fucked up last night — okay, and plenty of other times previously — but he could fix this. From now on, things were going to be different with Blue. He was going to show her how much her friendship meant to him. He was going to make sure she understood the special place she held in his heart. Never again would she have reason to doubt her importance in his life.
The urge to go after her and fix this now was almost undeniable, but he had enough self-knowledge to understand that impulse was about making himself feel better, not about helping Blue. The last thing she needed was him getting up in her face, insisting she let him help her, when she was dealing with stuff of her own.
No, he would have to wait until she was prepared to let him in again — and when she did, he would have his chance to be the friend she deserved.
In the meantime, his punishment would be to wait in ignorant silence and think about what a thoughtless dick he’d been.
Blue stared out the window of the taxi, her teeth gritted so hard her jaw ached.
She was screwing everything up. Making it complicated where before it had been simple and easy and good. Worse, she’d hurt Eddie’s feelings. He hadn’t said anything, but it had been there in the line of his shoulders and the angle of his head and the set of his mouth.
Some people — idiots — wrote him off as a too-good-looking playboy who was about as deep as a wading pool. They imagined that the surface Eddie — the player, the partier, the hedonist — was all there was. She knew differently. She knew how loyal he was. How hard working. She knew how much he cared for his family. He would take a bullet for Rafel, no questions asked. And she knew how deeply the loss of his sister had hit him when he was a kid. He’d been just seven years old when Yara had died from meningitis and his grief-stricken father had wrenched them from their home in Brazil and immigrated to Australia. Eddie’s back bore the proof of his abiding grief and love for his lost sibling — the word soror, Latin for sister, etched in five-inch, black letters across his shoulders. The same tattoo that Rafel had on his belly.
Lest they forget.
If only Leanne hadn’t lobbed up on his doorstep last night — better yet, if only Eddie hadn’t invited her inside to burst the little bubble of comfortable delusion Blue had been enjoying. She and Eddie could have played Duty and eaten brigadeiros and she could have fooled herself for a bit longer that everything was back to normal between them.
“You want to take the motorway?” the driver asked.
Blue dragged her gaze from the blur of suburbia outside the car. “Whatever is easiest.”
Pulling her phone from her pocket, she tapped out a text.
I’m sorry. I just need some space. Forgive me?
She hit Send and then read over her message, worrying she’d said both too much and not enough. His response came with gratifying speed:
Always.
She closed her eyes. Only Eddie could infuriate and touch her in equal measures without even trying. His loyalty and his love were a gift and a treasure, and she needed to make sure she didn’t screw things up.
Thank God Lena had arrived in Australia two days ago, otherwise Blue wouldn’t have this out. If she’d been forced to stay in Eddie’s house, feeling the way she was feeling…
She didn’t want to think about how impossible that would have been.
When the taxi pulled into the driveway of Lena’s parents’ house, Lena came out, dressed in a pair of pajama pants and a tight tank that showcased her bodacious breasts and the colorful ink Blue, Raf, and Eddie had etched into her skin over the years. Lena’s long dark hair was a tangled mess around her shoulders, and she lifted one hand to protect her eyes from the early morning sun as she watched the driver get out and open Blue’s door.
“When you said first thing I didn’t realize you meant the crack of dawn,” Lena said as Blue stood and wrangled with her crutches.
“The sooner we leave for the beach house the better, I figured,” Blue said evasively.
“Right. You’re keen to get to the beach in the middle of winter. That’s what this is all about,” Lena said.
She’d always been a dab hand at sarcasm.
“Would you mind grabbing my bags?”
Lena took the bags from the driver, hefting them into the house while Blue paid the fare. The smell of good cooking and spices greeted Blue at the door, an echo from last night’s dinner, she guessed. She inhaled deeply before following Lena to her childhood bedroom at the rear of the house.
Even though Lena technically lived in New York now, the room still looked as though she was in residence. Makeup was strewn across the dressing table, clothes across the bed. No less than six pairs of shoes lay abandoned inside the doorway.
“I thought you just got here,” Blue said as she took in the mess. She couldn’t live like this if someone offered her solid gold bullion to do so. Too much chaos.
“Wait till you see the havoc I can wreak in a week,” Lena said, flopping onto the rumpled bed.
Her tank rode up, revealing a peek of something on her belly.
“What did you do?” Blue asked. She was intimately acquainted with her friend’s body, having inked large swathes of it. “Better yet, who did you do?”
Because after dating Rafel for years, Lena was a bona fide tattoo snob.
Lena’s smile became faintly smug. “You are going to be so jealous when I tell you.”
“So tell me.”
Lena tugged up the hem, exposing her belly. A masterpiece of delicate lace unraveled across her skin, tangled with a bird struggling to fly and a butterfly on the verge of escape, the whole done in inky black, with only selected feathers on the bird’s wings and tail picked out in an almost iridescent green. Graphic lines radiated out, hardening the soft edges, giving the whole piece a sense of movement and energy. It was beautiful and intricate, the lines impossibly fragile.
Blue shook her head in admiration, recognizing the work of French artist Xoil immediately. “He was in New York?”
“He’s doing a lot of work there now.”
“It’s beautiful. Do you mind if I have a closer look?”
“Of course. Sit, though. Crutches suck. I broke my leg when I was ten and I can still remember how much my armpits hurt.”
“It’s better than not being able to get around,” Blue said, sinking onto the end of the bed.
“True.”
Lena stood in front of Blue and lifted her tank top again.
“His lines are so crisp. This lacework is incredible. This is a gorgeous piece, Lena,” Blue said.
“I know.”
Blue followed the line of the lace across her friend’s skin, marveling at the other artist’s technique.
Eddie would kill to see this.
Her smile faded as she remembered why she was here, how she’d left him standing in the street looking hurt and surprised and angry.
“Okay, I’m biting my tongue here but you can’t do sad-teddy-bear face and expect me to be quiet. You want to tell me what’s going on with you and Eddie?” Lena asked gently, and Blue glanced into her friend’s soulful dark eyes.
“Nothing’s going on.”
“Then why are you here at seven in the morning wearing that face?”
“I just needed some space, that’s all.”
“From Eddie, after one night?” Lena cocked an eyebrow.
“I’m just a bit messed up after the accident, that’s all. Nothing big.”
“Define messed up for me.”
Blue sighed heavily, feeling a head
ache creeping its way across her skull. She didn’t have any answers for herself, let alone for Lena. Blue certainly didn’t have it in her to tap dance her way around her friend’s curiosity.
The warm weight of Lena’s hand landing on top of her head made Blue look up again.
“It’s okay, babe. I’m not going to drag it out of you with pliers and a blow torch. If you want to talk, I’m here. If you don’t, it’s cool. I’m the last person to start hassling people about sorting through their shit.” Lena ruffled Blue’s hair affectionately.
“Thanks,” Blue said, and she meant it.
This was one of the reasons Lena had been the first person Blue had called, even though her friend had barely landed in Australia. Lena’s unhesitating “Whatever you need,” last night and her words now were balm for Blue’s soul. Right now she needed a little undemanding sympathy from someone she wasn’t terrified to be around.
The sound of movement in another part of the house made them both glance toward the door.
“Sounds like my folks are up. Which means one of my mother’s marathon breakfasts is twenty minutes away. I’ll shower, we can eat, then head off. If we take the coast road, we should reach Apollo Bay around lunchtime. Sound like a plan?” Lena asked.
“Yeah, it does,” Blue said.
“You’re doing the sad-bear face again.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Just…take it easy, okay?” Lena said.
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder.” Lena smiled as she said it, then headed for the bathroom.
Blue contemplated the tumble of shoes on the floor and the pile of clothes on the chair in front of Lena’s dressing table and resisted the itchy urge to start folding things. Growing up in group homes had taught her iron-clad respect for other people’s habits and spaces. She might hate to live like this, but Lena was entitled to be a pig if she wanted to be.
Instead, Blue pulled out her phone and considered the single word Eddie had sent her in reply.
Always.
That’s what she wanted from him, what she needed from him. Eddie, in her life, as her friend, forever. She knew that was a big ask, that the world might throw plenty at them to test the bonds of their friendship, but she wasn’t going to be the one to screw it up.
Not if she had anything to do with it.
She had four weeks with Lena and ocean views to work out how to pack her love for Eddie into the corner it had always occupied. It had to be enough.
Chapter Six
“What did you do?”
Eddie looked up from the ink cups he was collecting for disposal to find Rafel filling the doorway to one of the workrooms.
“You want to run that by me again?”
“Why did Blue move out? What did you do?” Rafel asked.
It was midafternoon, barely half a dozen hours since Eddie had woken to find Blue making her stealthy getaway, but he wasn’t really surprised that the cat was out of the bag. Maggie must have spoken to Blue and learned she’d retreated to the beach with Lena. Or perhaps Rafel had called to check on Blue. Either way, the truth was out there.
“What makes you think I did anything?”
“Because she didn’t last a day, and she’s too busy recovering from a near-fatal accident to start something.”
Eddie finished collecting the ink cups, then crossed to the trash can in the corner.
“I have no idea why she left. She just did. I woke up and she was halfway gone already.”
“Bullshit. Did you guys have a fight last night?”
“I told you, nothing happened.” Apart from the thing with Leanne, but Raf didn’t need to know about that. Eddie was ashamed enough of his own thoughtlessness without having his brother bear witness to it.
“She should have stayed with us,” Rafel said, shaking his head with disgust.
“Fuck you.” The words shot out of Eddie’s mouth like gunfire, harsh and vicious. No one cared about Blue more than he did. The idea that his brother thought he didn’t know how to look after her made him want to want to Hulk out.
Rafel narrowed his eyes. Neither of them said anything for a long beat. It occurred to Eddie that he’d overreacted. Big time.
“Sorry,” he said.
He and Rafel might have differences of opinion, but they didn’t fight often and they certainly didn’t treat each other like crap.
“You really don’t know why she left?”
Again, Eddie thought about the situation with Leanne, but his gut told him Blue bailing on him was bigger than her being pissed with him because he was a careless asshole.
“She said she needed space.”
“From what? You?” Rafel looked as confused as Eddie felt.
“She’s upset about something, but she didn’t want to talk to me, and it wasn’t as though I could make her stay.”
“Right.” Raf looked worried as he thought it over. “You should come over for dinner.”
Eddie almost smiled at his brother’s thinly-veiled attempt to offer him Maggie’s sympathetic shoulder. No doubt she’d say all the right things if he cared to try her, but he didn’t. Blue was the one he wanted to talk to.
“I’m pretty busy this week,” he said.
“You know where to find us if you change your mind.”
“Thanks, man.”
Raf disappeared into the hallway, and Eddie gave the workroom a final once-over. He didn’t have another client for an hour so he headed for the street, nodding to Hans, one of their front-of-house staff, on the way through the reception area. The Japanese restaurant across the road did a lunch special, and Eddie stood in line to place his order. The drink fridge was conveniently placed to inspire impulse purchases when people ordered, and he saw they had a new shipment of the crazy black sesame and honey soy drink that Blue was obsessed with.
He pulled out his phone and took a quick snap of the chock-full refrigerator, then called up her name on his contacts list. He stopped before hitting Send, remembering this morning, suddenly uncertain whether she’d welcome a message from him right now, teasing or otherwise.
The realization was a kick in the gut. Not once in ten years had he doubted his place in Blue’s world, or hers in his.
Grim, he slid his phone into his pocket. She’d asked for space. The least he could do was give it to her.
Eddie texted on her third day at the beach house, sending her a photograph of a freshly-inked tattoo. No words, just the picture of a single eye surrounded by mystical clouds, the skin still red from the needle.
Blue admired the clean lines of his work, then turned her phone around and took a picture of the view, complete with her injured leg propped on a chair, framed by the dated seventies-era flower-power curtains that graced the Aldana family’s beach cottage.
She hit Send, then allowed herself a small smile. He’d reached out in the best possible way, and it felt good that he cared enough to do so.
The next day, he sent a picture of a greasy, delicious-looking burger that she recognized as being from her favorite burger place in Fitzroy. She returned fire with a shot of the hot chocolate crammed with marshmallows that Lena had made her.
The day after that, it was a shot of the shiny alloy wheel of his Ferrari. She was taking a picture of her single battered moccasin slipper when Lena piped up.
“Okay, I’ll bite. Who are you sending a picture of your slipper to?”
“Eddie.”
“Desperate to know about your footwear, is he?”
“He sent me a photo of the wheel of his car.”
Lena screwed up her nose. “You guys are weird.”
Blue shrugged. She and Eddie understood each other.
Mostly, anyway.
Lena tossed the magazine she was reading onto the coffee table and stood, moving restlessly to the window. Outside, rain lashed at the windows, and the ocean was pewter-grey and vicious as it hammered against the beach below.
Blue watched her, noting the signs of tension in her
friend’s neck and shoulders. It had taken her a day or two to realize it because Lena was good at covering, but her friend was working through something. Something big if her periodic silences and brooding, staring-at-the-view sessions were anything to go by.
“You never said why you’re home again so soon,” Blue said.
Since she’d moved to New York, Lena’s visits home had averaged about twice a year. So far this year, however, she’d made three visits, each only a month or so apart, and this time she was staying for six weeks.
“I was homesick.”
Blue wasn’t buying. The troubled look on Lena’s face wasn’t about craving the familiar.
“How much do you remember from your childhood?” Lena asked suddenly, glancing over her shoulder.
Blue was surprised by the weird segue, but she figured she’d go with it. At least Lena was talking, and maybe it would lead somewhere her friend needed to go.
“There are bits I remember very clearly. And there are bits I’m happy to forget,” Blue said.
Lena looked stricken. “Shit. Sorry, Blue. I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s okay.” Blue didn’t talk about her parents a lot, but that was mostly because people didn’t ask. “After my mum and dad died, I made a point of remembering everything I could about them. I used to have this book I kept all my memories in.”
“That’s a cool idea. Do you still look at it?”
Blue thought about the woman who’d taken the book from her and burned it in front of Blue and the rest of the children who had been placed in her “care.”
“I lost it when I was fourteen. But I still remember. I don’t need the book.”
She’d never bothered writing down her memories again but they were still there, safely tucked away in her mind.
The softness of her mother’s velour dressing gown against her cheek.
The wet-wool smell of her father’s coat when he came home from work when it rained.
The warm strength of his hand around hers.
The sound of her parents laughing as they cooked together on Friday nights.
The way her mother used to let Blue rest her head on her lap and would stroke her hair while they watched TV at night.
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