by Dori Lavelle
“He did call the woman who killed his brother deranged.”
“That was before he knew you.”
“The fact that he knows me makes it worse. He probably regrets the time we spent together… That night… Every time he thinks of that night, he’ll be disgusted with himself for sleeping with his brother’s killer.”
Melisa placed the slice of bread she was about to take a bite of back onto her plate and turned to face me. “You know what?” she said. “Let him think whatever the hell he wants. You know what really happened that morning.”
I was determined to heed Melisa’s advice, and Cora, my foster mother, also agreed when she called from Germany.
But Nick was a hard man to forget. Not only was his name stamped on my heart, but he was businessman of the year and a self-made millionaire, so his face was everywhere. To help me forget him, I stayed away from newspapers and magazines and hardly watched any TV. If he had moved on, I’d rather not know.
To evade thoughts of him, I worked seven days a week. I spent my days selling jewelry to rich customers at Stalford, my nights at Oasis, and every other day I did photo shoots for Stalford’s upcoming jewelry campaign. I worked until my body ached and my mind was numb, until I was so exhausted that the only thing I could do when I got home was fall asleep. I gave myself no time to hurt, to cry, to remember. No time to wish I could turn back the clock. It was an option I didn’t have. All I could do was find a way to function. A way to breathe.
Chapter Three
Mark lowered his camera and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Carlene, where are you? I need you to be here. All of you, or this won’t work.”
I smoothed down my silky dress. “I’m sorry, Mark. I’ll try harder.”
“You’re losing your spark, Carlene.” He snapped his fingers. “It’s fading. Let’s try again.” He raised the camera and I struck a pose.
I did my best to be in the moment as the camera flashed, but it took a lot out of me. My heart just wasn’t in it.
“Just a moment, Mark.” Silvy, the makeup artist rushed over to me, a magazine tucked under her armpit. “Speaking of sparks, Carlene’s nose has too much.” She patted the tip of my nose with a powder puff, then stepped back to the armchair in the corner, leaving behind the smell of the ham sandwich she’d just eaten. She raised her magazine. She could tell this shoot was going nowhere.
My gaze focused on the cover; Nick’s handsome face was smiling straight at me. I blinked and read the caption.
Serendipity’s most eligible bachelor is no longer single.
Whatever piece of my heart that was left intact splintered, and a tear rolled down my cheek.
***
Lilliana Stalford, the owner of Stalford Jewelers, strutted through the boutique doors, past Amanda and Julie, and headed straight for me.
As usual, she was polished and expensive—her face glowing, blond hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, lips painted ruby. Without a smile, she almost looked her age, somewhere in her fifties.
I handed a jewelry package to a customer and pointed him in the direction of the point-of-sale just as Lilliana reached my side.
“Carlene, I’d like to have a word, in my office,” she said quietly.
A flicker of anxiety raced down my spine. I followed her as she sashayed up the stairs.
In her vanilla-scented office, Lilliana pointed at one of the elegant padded chairs, then sat down behind her glass-topped desk and pulled a thick white envelope from her bag. Something was definitely wrong. Very wrong. Whenever she came to Stalford, which wasn’t often, she usually sat on the couch.
“Lilliana, is everything all right?”
“You tell me.” She handed me the envelope. “Have a look at these and tell me if everything is all right.”
Refusing to jump to conclusions, I pulled out the contents and frowned. “These are the modeling photos from last week.”
“Yes, they are. They are meant for the anticipated winter collection campaign. Do you think they’ll convince a customer to purchase our jewelry?”
I regarded the photo on top; my eyes were blank and surrounded by circles makeup couldn’t completely hide. The sapphire and diamond necklace would have looked better on a mannequin.
I had to be honest. “No. No, they won’t.”
Lilliana clasped her hands on the desk in front of her and leaned forward. “What’s going on, Carlene? When you started modeling for us, you gave one hundred percent. Now you give less than one percent.”
“I’m sorry. I was having a bad day.”
“You’ve been having many of those lately. Mark told me you broke down during the shoot again. That’s unacceptable.”
“I apologize for that,” I said. “I’ll control my emotions better next time.”
Lilliana cleared her throat. “Carlene, I chose you for this job because you’re stunning. But beauty alone doesn’t create great photos. It doesn’t sell jewelry. You need something else…commitment and hard work. Currently, you lack those qualities.” Her grey eyes had narrowed to flints.
I’d never seen her like this—disappointed, angry. Words would be useless at this point, so I simply nodded and mentally braced myself for what would follow.
The phone rang before Lilliana could say more.
“Hi, Sam,” she said into the mouthpiece, her voice wary. “Yes, I’m talking to her right now. I’ll meet you downstairs in five minutes.” She hung up and turned back to me. “I’m afraid we can’t keep you on. Too much money is on the line for this campaign to fail. I hope you understand.”
“I understand.” I wanted to convince her she was wrong, that I could hide my crap and smile for the camera. But I couldn’t. I could hardly smile at all these days, let alone for the camera. How could I pretend to be happy when my insides were in ruins?
And I wanted the best for Lilliana. She had been good to me. She’d given me the chance of a lifetime, and I blew it. I swallowed. “What about my job here as sales associate?”
“We had a long discussion about that, and we decided you know a lot about jewelry and you’ve sold some of the most expensive pieces. So you may keep doing that.” Lilliana stood. “But please don’t bring your personal life to work.”
I parted my lips and exhaled quietly. I’d lost the man I fell in love with, and my high-paying modeling job, but I still had a reason to get up in the morning.
Chapter Four
For the first time since I started working at Stalford, a colleague accompanied me to lunch. Julie was only an intern, but it still boosted my ego. Especially since my spirits had plummeted after discovering the change in Nick’s relationship status last week. I’d been trying to hold it together; I didn’t want to disappoint Lilliana. But my stomach cramped up every time I thought of him with another woman.
Curiosity—or masochism—had driven me to buy and read the magazine. I had to see the woman who was now giving Nick what I couldn’t. But there was hardly any information. The woman was unknown, and they had been caught kissing in public on several occasions.
Julie and I had lunch at a Chinese restaurant at Stepside Mall.
For the first time in days, I enjoyed my food. The curry chicken and vegetable fried rice never tasted better.
At least my appetite was finally returning. I really had to stay away from the news, or I’d end up stick thin. I was already too slim for my liking. Many people thought my body type was sexy, but I’d always thought women with curves were gorgeous.
After lunch, we still had some time on our hands, so I asked Julie if we could stop by the bookstore. I needed a new escape from reality.
While I tugged novels off the shelves and got lost in the cover descriptions, Julie hurried toward the magazine section, heels click-clacking on the wooden floor, in search of juicy celebrity news.
Being in a bookstore was like going on a holiday. I could spend hours wandering the aisles, reading titles on spines, listening to people discussing stories in whispers, breathing in the dry
scent of paper and espresso from the coffee bar. This was my escape. If I didn’t like the reality I lived in, I could choose another.
I had just read through the first chapter of Dark Tides, a romantic suspense novel, when Julie tapped me on the shoulder.
“You have to see this,” she whispered into my ear and led me to a red circular couch, where she urged me to sit.
“What is it?” I placed the novel on my lap.
“Look.” She produced a magazine, flipped it open to the middle, and thumped a finger at a photo. “This is you.”
Shock slapped me hard across the face as I gaped at the photo.
The caption read: Carlene Adams, employee at Stalford Jewelers, revealed to be Nick Johnson’s secret flame.
“Oh, my God!” I clapped a trembling hand over my mouth and snatched the magazine from Julie. I studied the article, my head about to explode.
“What do they mean?” Julie asked and scooted closer.
I ignored her and my gaze landed on a photo of me and Nick, then another. The first one surprised me. It was taken the first time we met and kissed in that café close to Grace Chapel. Nick held me in his arms; our eyes were closed as we reveled in each other. Who had taken that picture?
The other was taken at the Lux Hotel bar, the night Nick told me he had called off his wedding and wanted to be with me. The first night we’d made love.
I grabbed my chest, trying to stop the pain. How did they know?
Julie reached for the magazine, her jaw almost hitting her chest.
“Is this Nick Johnson? The Nick Johnson? It says here you guys have a thing. You are involved with the most eligible bachelor? Holy shit! Amanda was right; there’s so much we don’t know about you.”
Little did she know, this was only the tip of the iceberg.
The town of Serendipity rarely boasted exciting celebrity news, so when the press got hold of a spicy piece of gossip like this, they clung to it. Nick’s success had placed Serendipity on the map, and he had become an instant public figure. Maybe something more exciting would happen in town and the press would lose interest in our private lives? Fat chance.
***
By the time we returned to Stalford after lunch, Lilliana was waiting for me in the store. Judging by the expression on her face and the tabloid on her table, she knew about me and Nick. So did Sam, who sat on the couch, looking as if someone had slapped him.
Lilliana’s gaze flickered to Sam and returned to me. “Carlene, although we do not approve of you dating one of our customers—”
“We’re not dating.” Of course that would be hard to believe. Photos never lied.
Lilliana raised an eyebrow. “As I was about to say, your private life is none of our business and you can date whomever you like. What’s important is that you continue doing your job as expected. As long as we don’t discover anymore surprises about you in the media. We have a reputation to protect.”
“You won’t,” I said with a chest full of stones.
***
On my thirtieth birthday, three weeks after my relationship with Nick was exposed, I bought myself a small chocolate and coconut cake and blew out the candles, wishing for a fresh start. A clean slate. If no one would give it to me, I’d give it to myself.
My cell phone vibrated just as I was about to take the first bite. I lowered the spoon and gazed at the glowing screen. Unknown number. I rarely answered calls from numbers I didn’t know, but whenever I ignored them, I ended up torturing myself, wondering who it could have been and whether it had been important.
I pressed the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“It’s Nick. I need to see you. Meet me at the Lux tomorrow at one p.m.”
Chapter Five
When I entered the hotel bar, Nick was sitting at a table in a corner. He wore a cap, a blue shirt, and jeans.
My throat tightened. It was torture to see him, knowing I would not be able to touch him.
Last time we were in this hotel, he’d booked a room on impulse so we could spend some stolen hours away from our normal lives. When I closed my eyes, I still smelled the burning candles, the sweet scent of roses, the chocolate mint éclairs we’d eaten.
I still remembered every detail of that night as if it were yesterday. The way our eyes met every time we touched. The first time we made love. His gentle touch, his kisses, his stubble against my cheek as he whispered into my ear that he wanted to be with me. I’d come so close to heaven.
But I fell the morning after, when I discovered the birthmark on his neck, identical to Chris’s, that proved they were brothers.
By pulling that trigger, I’d separated them forever.
I took a deep breath, then walked over and sat down in the chair across from Nick without saying a word.
A waiter came to the table to ask for our order.
I asked for a glass of water. My throat was parched. And it was the only thing on the menu I could afford.
Nick ordered nothing. He was a man on a mission, it seemed.
I spoke first. “Thanks for calling,” I said. “I so wanted to see you, to talk.”
“I was in China for a month. I got back yesterday and found this.” He tossed a newspaper in front of me. “Haven’t you done enough damage? Do you really think this is the best way to get my attention?” His eyes blazed.
I picked up the newspaper with my stomach roiling. Hard to believe we had gone from tearing each other’s clothes off to throwing accusations. “I’d never do that.”
“If it wasn’t you, who was it?”
I shrugged. “Maybe it was that waitress from Café Dash.” She’d acted really strange around Nick, hadn’t been able to pull her eyes from him. She had clearly known who he was. “There’s a photo of us—”
“I saw it,” he snapped and raked a hand through his hair. “Why would she take this long before going to the press, though?”
“I don’t know, Nick.” I sighed and tapped my fingers on the table. “But you have to believe I didn’t do it.”
“Why should I? You’ve proven to be a fantastic liar.”
I bit my lip. “I tried to call you a few times. I wanted to explain. Would you let me tell you what happened, now? Please?”
Nick leaned back and crossed his arms. “Say what you have to say. I don’t have much time.” His eyes bored into mine, searching for answers.
I swallowed hard and held my glass to give my hands something to do. It was hard to come up with the right words now that I was expected to talk about Chris on demand. “It’s a long story. I don’t really know where to start.”
He leaned forward and I caught a whiff of his cologne. If only I could reach out and touch him. “Why don’t you start with why you lied to me?” “I didn’t lie.”
“You lied by omission.” He was biting the inside of his cheek, and a vein throbbed at the side of his neck.
How much time did I have before his anger boiled over? I drew in a sharp breath. “Nick. I didn’t murder Chris. I killed him by mistake. The police can confirm everything. If I were guilty, wouldn’t I be in prison right now?”
“Like I told you last time, to hell with what the police said,” he growled between clenched teeth. “I don’t give a damn how it happened. The fact remains that you robbed me of a lifetime of getting to know my brother.” His Adam’s apple rose and fell. “I called you to ask if you had anything to do with the story in the papers. I don’t know why I’m even listening to this crap.” He pushed back his chair and shot to his feet. “I need to get out of here. Far away from you.”
“Nick, please don’t go. Don’t leave me. Not like this.” I sprang to my feet and lunged for him. I grabbed his shirt. What if I never got another chance to be this close to him? I kissed him hard on the lips.
At first he was a statue, but then his lips parted and he returned my kiss. His mouth crushed mine as our breaths mingled. He pulled me closer, kissed me deeper as he cupped the side of my face with his hand.
Then he pushed
me away, his hands encircling my wrists. “It’s over,” he said softly. His eyes glistened in the dim light. “I never want to see you again.”
“You don’t mean that,” I whispered, close to tears. “You know as well as I do we have a connection. Deep feelings for each other. You can’t deny that.”
“The only connection we have is my brother. Now please stay out of my life.”
I blinked away tears. “Okay. I will, but please forgive me. I’m not a murderer. I loved Chris.”
“You’re asking for the impossible.” He released my wrists and walked away from me.
I stumbled out of the restaurant and tottered through the lobby. I could barely breathe. My heart was empty, and yet it weighed a thousand pounds. Nick was out of my life forever.
I stepped out of the hotel and shivered as a brisk wind wrapped around me. My coat—I’d left it inside. On my way to get it, I spotted Nick at the elevators, talking to a sexy blond. Pain swelled inside me as I thought of him being with her. With anyone. Any woman could be my replacement. But as he’d said, it was over. We’d had our last kiss and now all we had left were some bittersweet memories.
***
Three weeks after meeting Nick, I climbed out of the taxi and headed toward Stalford, ready to start the day and the rest of my life. I had no choice but to move on. But as soon as I stepped foot in the boutique, the hairs on the back of my neck sprang up and I halted in the doorway.
All eyes were on me, including Lilliana’s and Sam’s. Julie’s face was so red, it almost matched the color of her hair. Amanda looked triumphant. So did the other sales associates.
“Hi.” I sifted through all kinds of possible scenarios in my mind, trying to figure out what could have happened. Did another article pop up about me and Nick?
No one responded to my greeting, but Lilliana asked me to follow her and Sam to her office.
As they settled into their seats, I unbuttoned my coat.
“You might want to leave that on,” Sam said, his voice loaded.
“Oh, um. Okay. Did something happen?” I gazed from one to the other.