by Dori Lavelle
She hated being close to him; it made her feel weak. “What the hell are you talking about? You never cared for me then. You were too busy making your way through the cheerleaders. Where is all this coming from?”
“You mean a lot to me. More than a lot. It almost killed me to see you get married to my best friend.”
Melisa shook her head and sat down on the couch. The information she was getting pressed on her shoulders like heavy stones. She wanted to say something to Heat, but the words wouldn’t even form in her head.
“That night, what we shared, it was the best I’d ever had. Still is. But you went away for a whole year, so I didn’t get the chance to tell you how I felt. And then Scott came along and took you away.”
“Shut up. Don’t ever mention his name again. He was a better man than you could ever be.” Melisa snapped, finding her voice. “Please leave.”
“Mel, let’s talk about this. Let me help you understand.”
“Please.” She wanted him to disappear so she could allow the tears pressing behind her eyelids to flow freely. She wouldn’t cry in front of him. She had let her guard down enough already.
He kissed her on the tip of the nose. “I’m not the same boy you knew back then. I’ve changed. I’ll go now to give you some time, but please call me.”
Melisa turned her back until she heard the door shut.
As soon as he’d left, Melisa regretted throwing him out. She had done to him exactly the thing she’d accused him of. She knew how humiliating it was.
Not that she wanted to sleep with him again. She wouldn’t, no matter how much she throbbed between her legs when she thought of him. He intoxicated her. But letting him into her heart would drag her back to a time she wanted to forget. Why the hell did she sleep with him? She’d opened a door she wasn’t sure she could close again, brought back emotions she had long buried. How could she even be friends with him now?
Chapter Twelve
Melisa spent a few days at home buried under the covers or stuffing her face with chocolate chip ice cream. Better than alcohol, and she was lucky to be able to eat whatever she liked and still keep her figure. After days of mulling things over, guilt lashed at her. She shouldn’t have treated Heat the way she did. He was obviously upset; he had her phone number, but he hadn’t called or sent a text to see how she was doing.
The only person who dropped by on Saturday to check up on her was Josie. Melisa told her everything. She needed to open up to someone.
Josie’s eyes widened. “Why didn’t you say anything? You slept with the most desired guy in school and you kept your mouth shut? I would have climbed on a roof and shouted it to the whole of Serendipity.”
“How would that have helped me? Lorene came looking for him that night, to apologize for cheating on him yet again, and he told me to climb out the window. Next thing I knew, they were back together.”
“Was that why you left to spend a few months in Madison?”
Melisa shifted in her seat. “Yeah, I needed to get away.”
“Your first instinct is always to run, isn’t it?”
“Sometimes it helps to get away from a situation.”
Josie sighed. “Or it makes things worse. Look what happened since you disappeared after Scott died. You lost everything.”
“Can we not talk about that?” Being reminded about losing her beloved Mel’s Delights was too much to bear. She stood. “Do you want coffee?”
Josie grinned at her. “No, the reason I came here is to ask you to come with me to Rockin’. You look like you need a night of fun.”
“I can’t do that,” Melisa said vehemently. “There’s something you don’t know.”
“Boy, another secret?”
“It’s not a secret. Just something I wasn’t brave enough to share.”
Josie yanked her back down on the sofa. “What is it? Are you okay?”
Melisa shrugged. “Now I am. But I wasn’t for a long time after Scott died.” She paused and drew in a deep breath for courage. “I’m a recovering alcoholic… and gambling addict. When Scott died, I lost it. So I found a way to numb the pain. Once I found that escape, I couldn’t go back. I don’t even know how or why I started gambling. I found myself sneaking into The Roll & Dice, and then I was there all the time. I lost everything and owed people money.”
“So you sold Mel’s Delights to me so you could repay the debts.” Josie’s face was a mask of shock. “God, Melisa. I’m so sorry. You should have said something.”
“It’s in the past now. Right now I’m just feeling so low and wouldn’t want to be tempted, you know?”
“Understandable, but hey,” Josie touched Melisa’s knee. “You’ve lost a lot over the years and you’re still standing. Now you have space in your life for new things. Things will get better, I promise you that. Now you have to face the world with your head held high. You need to start enjoying your life.”
“I’m still not going clubbing.”
“Who said anything about clubbing? How about we have a pajama party like in high school? With non-alcoholic cocktails. What do you say?”
A grin split Melisa’s face. “I’m so in, but I have to ask Carlene if she’s okay with it.”
Carlene and Nick didn’t have a problem with it. In fact, they encouraged her to treat their home as hers and have fun.
Carlene laughed. “Seriously, Melisa, do what you would do in your own home. You don’t have to ask for permission.”
Melisa remembered that having a girls’ night in was harmless compared what she had done with Heat. She was like a silly teenager, asking her parents for permission. “You know I appreciate this, right?”
“I do. I’m here for you always. You can stay as long as you like.”
“I’m planning on finding a place by the time you get back next week.” Melisa wasn’t sure how, but she was determined to find a place of her own. “You’re newlyweds, you need to spend time alone.”
“Then why don’t you move into my old apartment? I haven’t given it up yet. I’ll keep paying the rent, of course.”
“I’d love that.” With those words, it struck Melisa just how much she had changed. Since moving out of Oasis, she’d done a lot of things that were out of character for her—crying at the drop of a hat, asking for and accepting help. Maybe those were all good things.
The pajama party was what Melisa had needed to get her mind off things. She and Josie baked gingersnap cookies and reminisced about old times. The non-alcoholic Caipirinha Josie insisted she knew how to make tasted like pee with lemon, but they laughed it off. Finally, they ordered a pizza and sprawled out on the couch, watching reruns of Friends until they fell asleep. Josie woke up at midnight and left. She had some urgent things she needed to take care of before morning. Melisa moved to the guest bedroom, happy to have survived the day.
***
“Miss Bergfeld?” A freckled teenage boy asked when Melisa opened the door.
Melisa covered her mouth with her hand and yawned. “Yes, who are you? Do you know what time it is?” What person went knocking on people’s doors at six in the morning? She could still fit in another hour of sleep before getting ready for work. Though her insides twisted when she thought of Mel’s Delights soon being in the hands of a stranger, she couldn’t afford not to work there now. She had to swallow her pride if she was going to afford rent. Carlene still paid for her old fancy apartment, but Melisa insisted on contributing a portion. She was used to taking care of herself since the age of eighteen, when she’d moved out of her mother’s house, and she wasn’t ready to live off anyone. Not even a fabulously wealthy good friend.
“I was told to give you this.” The boy shoved a manila envelope into Melisa’s hands and sauntered away in his baggy pants.
Melisa walked back into the house and closed the door. She unsealed the envelope slowly. Who, apart from Josie and Heat knew she lived here? What would anyone want to give her?
She flipped the envelope upside down. A key and
a folded note plopped onto her hand. Ignoring the key, she read the note: I’m sorry for being a jerk in the past. Consider this my apology. Goodbye.
Florian
Melisa’s chest tightened as she studied the silver key, frowning. It looked familiar, but she couldn’t place it.
She picked up the phone and dialed Heat’s cell, but no one picked up.
Confused, she dropped it into her purse. She’d pass by his place after work to find out what it all meant.
***
The day was hectic, so it was only during lunch break that Melisa saw the key again and decided to ask Josie what she thought.
Josie barely even looked at it before shaking her head. “Maybe a key to his apartment?”
“No, I know how his keys look. Unless he changed the locks.”
Josie sighed and took the key from Melisa. She walked to the front door of Mel’s Delights, Melisa at her heels, and inserted into in the lock. It fit perfectly.
“Josie, what’s this supposed to mean?”
Josie smiled. “Heat was the one who bought back Mel’s Delights… for you. He told me not to tell you, but I can’t keep this to myself any longer. He’d offered to buy the bakery in the hopes that maybe someday you’d come back, and he didn’t want you to find nothing left of your old life. If a man did that for me, I’d snatch him up in a heartbeat.”
***
After work Melisa walked down the winding streets of Serendipity, past shops and restaurants, offices and apartment buildings. Work had been successful at keeping thoughts of Heat at bay, but now her mind unleashed them until they were battering her relentlessly. A cocktail of guilt, regret, fear, and shame choked her so she found it hard to breathe. The sounds of people talking and laughing, the honking of cars and screeching of tires were not enough to drown them out. So Melisa walked faster and faster until she was running so fast, the wind howled in her ears, her lungs burned, and her muscles protested. She ran until the dominant thought in her mind revolved around how much she craved the next breath.
By the time she reached Lake Serendipity, the sky had darkened and its soft drizzle showered her. As she walked to the river bank, people walked passed her, shoulders hunched, and heads covered with purses, briefcases, and newspapers as they hurried to find shelter. Melisa didn’t care about the blanket of dark clouds in the sky, or that the rain was now falling harder, liquid darts pelting her head and shoulders, plastering her hair against her neck and forehead, soaking her clothes, and making her shiver. She loved rain. And right now, she needed it.
As a child, she used to run outside to dance with the rain drops and welcome them with arms wide open and her face upturned. Nothing was quite as invigorating and cleansing as rain.
She approached the line where the water started and stood gazing out at the lake. Fat droplets tap danced on the surface.
On the first day of summer, people gathered around the lake and sprinkled flower petals on that very surface, wishing for good fortune in love. When Scott was alive, they used to come each year. Then he died and there was no point. Not until now.
Melisa reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out the key Heat had sent her. As water dripped into her eyes, mingling with a fresh dose of tears, she gazed down at it for a long time, watching as raindrops showered the piece of metal and formed a small puddle in the palm of her hand.
Guilt stabbed her as she remembered what she had done to Heat. How the anger she had brought with her from her childhood had caused her to hurt him the way he had hurt her then. She had used him and thrown him out and instead of lashing out at her, he had given her the most precious gift, a piece of herself she thought she had lost forever.
Heat had made a mistake those many years ago, but since then, he’d tried everything to make things right. Since she left Oasis, he’d been nothing but kind and helpful, taking her in, paying her hospital bills, taking care of her when she was sick. Instead of being grateful, she’d been cold and insulting and hung up on the past. Yes, it was difficult to put the past behind without turning back for a glimpse, and yes, there were certain things she wanted to forget, but maybe it would all turn out fine if she just took baby steps toward the future. The key in her hand could be a sign that all would be well again.
Curling her fingers lightly around the key, she tipped her hand to the side to allow the water to pour out. Then she placed the key in her right pocket. She reached deep into her other pocket and produced a handful of drenched, bruised rose petals. She bent down, dipped her hand in the water and released them. It wasn’t the first day of summer and the hard rain would prevent them from floating on the surface, but she hoped the gesture was enough to set her good fortune in motion.
Chapter Thirteen
Melisa banged her fist on the wooden door. This time with force. She had swung her hand back again to make another strike when the door was yanked open.
Lucy stood in the doorway, face stony. “What can I do for you?” she crossed her arms over her ample breasts.
“I need to see Heat. Is he here? He’s not at his place.”
“In case you’re wondering, I know everything that happened between you two in high school.” Lucy leaned against the door and her eyes narrowed to flints. “You know, before you came back from wherever you had slunk off to, my brother was okay. He wasn’t the happiest, because he still carried that torch for you since high school. I used to think you two were made for each other, but I changed my mind. All you do is make him miserable.”
A bubble of anger formed in Melisa’s throat. She clenched her fists, digging her fingers into her palms. “You don’t know anything about me and Heat. So don’t talk like you do.”
“I know you had a thing, and then you disappeared, like you always do, leaving him high and dry.”
“Wrong,” Melisa snapped. “Yes, we had one night. One single, amazing night, which was followed by him shoving me out the window when Lorene showed up. Next day, they were back together, and Heat didn’t even seem to notice me. I went to live with my aunt, because I needed space. Just as I needed space when my husband died. People deal with unpleasant situations in different ways.”
Lucy pursed her lips and her cheeks flushed. She unfolded her arms and sighed. “Look, Melisa, I’m sorry for the accusations. I don’t know what I’d do if I were in your shoes. Sorry for what I said.”
“It’s fine. Can you tell me where Heat is? I need to talk to him. It’s important.”
“He left town yesterday morning. Went to Boston.”
“When is he coming back?”
“He didn’t say. In truth, I won’t be surprised if he never comes back. Before you came back, he was planning on moving there. He’d even had several job offers.”
Melisa grasped the doorframe. “Is there any way I can contact him? He’s not answering my calls. I need to make things right.”
Lucy shook her head. “Give him a few days to cool off. He seemed really upset after he came to see you. Try again after a couple days.”
Melisa’s shoulders slumped. Receiving that key to Mel’s Delights had changed her life yet again. It was more than a key to her business—it was a key to her heart, which she had kept locked for so long. When she swept the veil of the past from her eyes, she saw what she had been oblivious to before.
“Thanks, Lucy. I’m sorry for barging in on you like this.”
Lucy smiled. “I like you, always have. I hope you two sort it out. Heat can do much worse than you.”
“I hope so too.” Melisa straightened up, feeling lighter now that she knew what she wanted—who she wanted. “Can I ask you something?”
Lucy nodded.
“Did Heat tell you why he came to visit me the other day?” Melisa grinned. “We didn’t really get to…”
“Talk.” Lucy winked. “I get it. Well, he was really excited that day. The only thing he said was he had a surprise for you that would change everything.”
Melisa shoulders were heavy as she nodded, turned, an
d walked away. He had probably come to deliver the key in person.
Chapter Fourteen
Two days later, Melisa gripped the phone with one hand as she rubbed her left temple with the other. “Heat,” she started and bit her lip. This was harder than she’d expected. A tear slipped out of her eye and then, from one moment to the next, she was sobbing, hardly able to get the words out. The person she was yesterday or last week would never have let someone see or hear her cry. But a lot had changed in a few days. “Heat, I’m sorry for yesterday. Please call me back. I need you. I need you in my life. I think… I think I love you.” She swallowed hard and wiped her eyes with the heel of her palm. “I love you,” she said with more determination in her voice. She had never been more sure of anything in her life. She had loved and married Scott, but Heat was her soul mate. “Please come back. Let’s talk.”
After she hung up, she made sure to carry her cell with her everywhere she went around the house, waiting for his call. As the clock ticked on and night fell, the knot in her stomach tightened. He’d not called back and probably never would. She had been unkind to him and she couldn’t turn back the clock.
She went to bed at midnight, and though her eyes were closed, she couldn’t sleep. As usual, in the morning she showered and dressed, picked up her purse and broken heart, and headed for the door. She’d forever be grateful for the gift Heat had given her, a piece of her old life. She’d have loved to thank him in person, to tell him she’d find a way to pay him back.
She hoisted her purse onto her shoulder, turned the key in the lock, and opened the door. Then she toppled back in fright, her heart thumping. “Carlene. Oh, my God, Carlene.” She hugged her friend, careful not to squeeze her stomach too much. Then she stood back. “Why are you back early?”
“I thought you might need a friend.” Carlene smiled and rubbed her stomach. Melisa had never believed the crap about women glowing while pregnant. She always thought people said it to make pregnant women feel good about themselves. But Carlene was an exception. The highlights from her wedding were still vivid in her hair, her baby blues sparkled, and her skin sported a healthy tan. “You didn’t have to cancel your honeymoon for me.”