Crazy Stupid Perfection (Crazy Love, #3)

by Melissa Toppen

  I can’t think of a better way to spend my mother’s life savings then by building a life of my own with it. A life I fully intend to spend with the girl currently sleeping peacefully in my arms.

  With that thought still lingering in the front of my mind, I close my eyes and finally feel sleep threatening to take me under. A calm washes over me as my mind fogs; peace I didn’t ever think I would find. Peace that I knew only Charlie could give me.

  It’s her. It’s always been her. The light at the end of a very dark tunnel. The one thing I knew eventually I wouldn’t be able to live without. It took me years to finally get here but fuck me if I’m ever letting her go again.

  ****

  It’s been two weeks since we returned home from Vegas. Two torturous weeks where I’ve only gotten to see Charlie a handful of times and it’s fucking killing me. I feel like a fucking teenager again, having to sneak around and keep my life hidden from those around me.

  I hate it.

  I hate every single moment of it, but I know this is just how things have to be for now.

  The moment we returned home I started looking for my own place. It took me only a few days before I settled on leasing a condo in the same building as Gavin’s. It’s not ideal to live in the same building given my current situation but it’s the best I could find given the short window of time I allotted myself.

  It’s not my forever home but it will do for now. I plan to buy that home with Charlie when the time is right.

  There I go again, getting ahead of myself. It’s hard to not fucking start planning my future when I feel like I finally have exactly what I’ve always wanted.

  “Hey. I took the two boxes in the living room down. Anything else I can grab?” Gavin leans against the doorframe of the bedroom, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

  “No, I just have this and I’m set.” I gesture to my guitar and two duffel bags laying on the bed.

  “You seriously didn’t have to move out so quickly dude. There was no rush.” He reassures me for the hundredth time, clearly assuming I’m leaving to give him and Harlee more space.

  Even though she’s attending school nearly two hours away, she practically lives with Gavin now. But little does he know, my decision has very little to do with him and Harlee.

  “I know.” I flop down next to my stuff on the mattress. “But it’s time. I can’t live in your spare room for the rest of my life.”

  “I think I’m gonna miss having you around.” He admits.

  “Well lucky for you I’m not going far.” I laugh.

  Considering my unit is directly two floors below his, I think it’s safe to say we will still see plenty of each other.

  “True.” He nods, moving inside the room to grab one of the duffels off of the bed. “Come on. I’ll help you run the last of this down.”

  “Thanks man.” I grab the remaining bag and my guitar case before following him out of the room.

  “Deck said you’re dropping down to only one night a week at the bar.” Gavin questions as we climb onto the elevator.

  “Yeah. I’ve been shopping around downtown and I think I’ve finally found the right spot to open up the music shop. It’s prime location, just the right amount of space, and what’s even better, they are selling the building instead of leasing it.”

  “Wow man, that’s fucking awesome.” Gavin follows me into the hallway. “I can’t believe you’re finally making a go of it.”

  “You and me both.” I agree, pushing my way inside my condo. “I’m just ready to stop talking about it and make it fucking happen.” I drop my bag and guitar onto the new leather couch that was delivered earlier today.

  “Do you think it’s possible?” I pause, turning to face Gavin.

  “What?” He seems genuinely confused by my question.

  “That we all might actually get what we want.” I clarify.

  “Yeah. I do.” He shrugs, sliding the bag off his shoulder before setting it on the floor.

  “Fuck. It all just seemed like a pipe dream back in the day. You, me, Deck. Bunch of stupid fucking teenagers smoking pot and bullshitting about owning our own businesses. Now here we are. You and Deck have the bar and now I’m finally pursuing the music store I’ve always wanted to own. Who would have thought?”

  “It’s fucking crazy dude. All of it.”

  “And now Decklan’s married.” I shake my head, still not able to fully process it even though I was there when it happened.

  “Fuck dude, I know. I never thought I’d see the day.”

  “I never thought I’d see you tied down either.” I point out. “Just goes to show how much people can change.”

  “Or how much impact the right people can have on a person’s life.” He smiles. “Speaking of my old ball and chain, she should be here anytime. I should probably head back up. You need anything before I go?”

  “Nah, I’m good. Tell Harlee I said hello.”

  “Will do. Give me about twenty minutes and I will be fucking her in your old room. You know, sort of a going away send off.”

  “How thoughtful of you.” I quip, shaking my head.

  “Later man.” He laughs, slipping out into the hallway with a wide smile spread across his face.

  “Fucking ass.” I chuckle to myself, still shaking my head well after the door latches closed behind him.

  Collapsing down onto my new couch, I prop my feet up on the rectangle glass coffee table sitting directly in front of it. Pulling my cell out of my pocket, I pull up Charlie’s name and open a new text box.

  Me: He’s gone. Harlee’s on her way over so he should be occupied for the night.

  I click send, leaning my head back to look around the space. It’s a pretty nice condo. Nearly identical to Gavin’s but with one less bedroom. I can already tell how weird it’s going to be living alone. Hell, I haven’t lived alone since I moved back to California over three years ago. I’m not really sure how to act.

  I jump slightly when my phone buzzes against my leg. I look down just in time to see Charlie’s name light up across the screen.

  Charlie: I’m already on my way. Be there in less than an hour. Had to stop and get gas.

  I can’t fight the smile that pulls at my mouth. I have been waiting days to have some alone time with Charlie. It makes me happy to know she’s just as eager as I am.

  Charlie: Don’t start the celebration without me.

  Her next text causes me to laugh out loud.

  Me: I wouldn’t dream of it. Be safe. I’ll see you soon.

  Her response is instant.

  Charlie: Yeah you will ;)

  I lock my phone and toss it onto the couch next to me before pushing into a stand. Deciding I can unpack later, I head down the hall toward the bathroom. Ducking inside, I turn the water on and crank the temperature up. I’ve always taken extremely hot showers. There’s something refreshing about the way the liquid causes my skin to burn.

  Stepping inside, I let the water roll over my shoulders as I let out a deep exhale, so relieved to have the stress of the move over with. Finally I can focus on Charlie and all the things I want to do to that tight little body of hers. Just the thought causes my groin to tighten.

  Fuck me.

  Charlie cannot get here quick enough.

  Chapter Ten

  Charlie

  “I finally enrolled in school today.” I trace my fingers along Paxton’s defined ab muscles, my head resting on his chest.

  “Oh yeah.” I can feel him look down at me but I make no attempt to move from my current position.

  “Yeah. Only took me how long?” I sigh, not at all looking forward to going back.

  “You deserved to have a break. You don’t have that long left anyway do you?” He asks, his fingers tracing gently through my thick hair.

  “Three semesters.” I confirm. “Thank god.”

  “I thought you liked school?”

  “I did at first. I don’t know. I guess I just got burnt out.”
/>   “That happens.” He drops a kiss to the top of my head. “What’s your schedule look like?”

  “Worried you won’t see me?” I tease.

  “Fuck yeah I am.” His statement causes me to look up, my gaze meeting the bright green of his eyes almost instantly.

  Shifting to the right, I roll my body onto his and settle on top of him, my face hovering just inches above his.

  “Paxton Stewart.” I lean forward, laying a gentle kiss to his lips before pulling back. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re starting to like me.” I tease.

  “I more than fucking like you.” His hands grip my hips tightly as he grinds his erection upward against my stomach. “I crave you.” He whispers, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth.

  “Well you don’t have anything to worry about.” I pull back, trying not to get distracted by his advances.

  As much as I want to once again lose myself to his body, I’m not sure my own body could take it right now. Spending the entire night in the arms of a man like Paxton will really push a girl to her limits. In a good way of course.

  “I was able to squeeze all of my classes into three days a week. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Which means...”

  “Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday you are all mine.” He interrupts, seconds later nipping at the base of throat gently with his teeth.

  “How about you get Wednesday and Sunday? I have a social life to maintain you know.” I tease, trying to keep my breathing even as he trails kisses down my neck.

  “How about no.” He growls.

  “How about yes.” I playfully argue.

  Paxton shifts under my weight, moving so quickly that by the time I even register his movements, my body is already pinned beneath him.

  Caging my hands in his, he pins my arms above my head.

  “How about I just keep you locked up here and never let you leave.” He pants, grazing his lips lightly against mine.

  “That I think I can live with.” I give him a wide grin when he pulls back and hits me with excited eyes.

  “Fuck yes.” His smile widens as he speaks, just seconds before his lips are on mine again.

  This time the playful nature is gone. He kisses me deeply, his tongue colliding with mine with so much need that I all but melt beneath him. Paxton has a way of commanding my body, of owning it. When in his hands it’s no longer mine to control, but his.

  I thought my body was too sore for another round but as he slides inside my damp folds, the only place I want him to be is deep inside me. Feeling my need already mounting, he wastes no time entering me on one hard thrust.

  The intensity of being filled by him so suddenly causes me to cry out, the sound of my voice that of a complete stranger. He pulls something carnal out of me, something wild, and I love every second of it.

  Unlike his normal approach to me, this time he’s anything but gentle; thrusting in and out of me so hard that our bodies smack together, the sound echoing off the walls around us. My body teeters between pain and pleasure, the combination leaving me feeling almost dizzy.

  I’m drunk on Paxton. Intoxicated by his beauty, his smell, the way his body feels against me.

  Digging my nails into his back, I tighten my grip as I feel my hold slipping. The pleasure coursing through me is enough to leave me disoriented and desperate. I grind against him, the feeling of him tight against my walls only dragging me closer and closer upward with each pull until finally I can’t hold on any longer.

  Within seconds I explode around him, biting down on his shoulder in an attempt to muffle my cries. My body quakes, pulsing in steady rhythm as I tremble in his arms. This seems to tear away what little control he has left.

  Pulling out, Paxton flips me in one quick movement and then drives into me from behind. He goes so deep I swear I can feel him in my stomach, but that doesn’t stop me from pushing backward and meeting him thrust for thrust. Within seconds he loses the battle against himself, his fingers digging into my hips so tightly I know I’ll bruise as he spills his release inside of me.

  He slows his movements, dragging two more slow pulls inside my body before finally stilling. Collapsing down onto my back, he buries his head into the crook of my neck as he fights to catch his breath.

  “Fuck me Charlie.” He sucks in a ragged inhale. “I just can’t seem to get enough of you.” His words instantly bring a smile to my face.

  “Well then apparently I’m doing something right.” I try to come across as nonchalant as possible but on the inside my inner self is screaming and doing back flips.

  “You’re doing everything right Charlie.” He pulls out, rolling me onto my back before settling in between my thighs. The second the intense green of his eyes hits mine it makes it hard for me to breathe. “Every fucking single thing is right.” He pauses, his face hovering just inches above mine.

  “I hope you know there’s no fucking way I’m ever letting you go.” His matter of fact statement sends my already raging heart galloping against my ribcage so hard it’s a wonder that it doesn’t beat straight out of my chest.

  My god this man has got me. I mean, hook line and sinker, I am buying every word he’s selling. I just hope he actually means it. I’m not sure my heart can take losing Paxton for a second time. Not after this. Not after everything.

  “I’m gonna hold you to that.” I get out weakly.

  “Good.” His eyes sparkle as he leans forward and presses his lips to mine. “Cause I mean every word.” He breathes against my mouth before sealing his promise with a kiss so deep, I swear I can feel the effects all the way to my toes.

  ****

  “God, how did I forget how demanding this is?” I drop my laptop and dump my bag out onto the kitchen table, staring at the mountain of books, pens and papers that come tumbling out.

  “It’s your first week back.” I hear my mother’s voice just seconds before her gentle hand comes down onto my shoulder. “It’s just gonna take some time to get back into the swing of things.”

  “Easy for you to say.” I huff. “You’re not the one that has two days’ worth of homework to complete before ten a.m.”

  “And whose fault is that?” She nudges her hip against mine before sauntering off towards the stove to stir whatever it is she’s cooking today.

  I swear my mom cooks like she still has a house full of growing children. Even though most nights it’s only her and I, she still prepares a full course meal.

  “Well, I can’t help it. I’ve been busy.” I shuffle through the mess of papers and books scattered in front of me.

  “Maybe you should tell Paxton you need a little more time to focus on your studies.” Her words cause my entire body to seize in panic and I flip my wide gaze up to her face to find her studying me with a knowing smirk.

  “You think I didn’t know?” Her smile widens.

  “Mom. I...” I immediately move to deny it but she cuts me off.

  “You don’t have to lie to me honey. Besides, I think it’s great.”

  “You do?” The words fall from my mouth without a second thought.

  “Of course I do. Paxton is a part of this family. I’ve seen firsthand the kindness of that boy’s heart. He may try to shelter it from the rest of the world, but I can see it clearly. And it’s even clearer that he’s been quite taken with you for some years now.”

  “How did you know?” I stutter out, so dumbfounded that I can’t even seem to wrap my head around the fact that I’m actually talking to another living person about Paxton.

  I didn’t know if a day like today would ever come. A day where I could just say yes. Yes, I’m with him. Yes, I want him. Yes, I love him. Even now I feel the overwhelming need to lie, though I can tell by my mother’s expression that it would do me no good. She doesn’t need me to confirm anything. Somehow, she already seems to know. And what’s even crazier, she seems to understand.

  “Anyone who cares enough to actually look can see it. The way that boy looks at you, it reminds me
of how your father used to look at me. I know love when I see it.” She crosses the kitchen toward me, pulling out the chair next to me before taking a seat.

  I numbly slide down into my own chair, not able to tear my gaze away from my mom’s face.

  “I don’t know if I would go that far.” I shake my head, not able to believe that Paxton’s feelings for me are anywhere even remotely close to that of my mom and dad’s.

  “I would.” She states matter of fact. “And the way you’ve been skipping around here since you returned from Vegas, I’d say you’re starting to see it too.”

  “Gavin?” I choke out, for the first time genuinely fearful that my brother may know more than I originally thought.

  “Oh please.” She swipes her hand through the air. “Your brother can’t see two feet in front of himself. I doubt he has even the slightest inkling that something is going on.”

  “You’re not going to tell him?”

  “Of course not.” She shakes her head.

  I don’t know why this surprises me but it does.

  “Mom—I...”

  “It’s okay. I really don’t need the details.” She shakes her head on a laugh. “I just wanted you to know that if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

  “Thank you.” I can feel the tears welling behind my eyes and instantly my mother’s hand comes down on mine.

  “What is it?” Her tone is soft, her eyes understanding.

  “Nothing. It just feels so good to have someone know the truth.” I swipe at a tear that trickles down my cheek.

  “I understand.” She wraps her fingers around mine. “It can’t be easy keeping your life hidden from those closest to you. I don’t agree with lying or keeping secrets, you know that, but you two deserve a chance to figure this all out without the stress of your brother trying to interfere.”

  “I’m afraid that I’m making a huge mistake. Not only am I risking my relationship with Gavin but I’m risking Paxton’s as well. I don’t know what he’d do if he lost Gavin and deep down I just know Gavin will never support this.” I finally vocalize my fear out loud.