Fuck me, this girl is beautiful.
“Fuck no.” I shake my head. “I’m not asking, I’m telling.”
“Is that so?” Laughter bubbles from her mouth.
“It is.” I confirm, pulling her tighter against me.
“Well boyfriend—" she emphasizes the word. “You’re gonna need to let me get up now.” She tries to squirm out of my grip.
“The fuck if I am.” I squeeze her harder.
“I really have to pee.” She laughs, wrinkling her nose in the cutest fucking way.
“Alright. Alright.” I release my hold on her, smacking her bare ass when she pushes out of the bed.
She lets out a yelp of surprise and then scurries off toward the bathroom, throwing me one last look of fake annoyance before disappearing inside.
Rolling to my back, I stare up at the ceiling, wondering how in the fuck I possibly got this lucky. I knew I loved Charlie three years ago when she left but I never anticipated how strong those feelings would grow over time. I don’t just love this girl anymore. I am in love with her. Balls deep, knock me to my fucking knees, in love with her.
****
“Hey.” I stop just inside the bathroom where Charlie is leaning over the counter brushing her teeth.
“Hey.” She gives me a toothpaste filled smile, meeting my gaze in the reflection of the mirror.
“I’m gonna order some Chinese takeout from that little place down the street. Anything specific I can get for you?” I lean against the doorframe.
“I’m good with whatever.” She shrugs.
“Okay cool.”
I decide to let her finish what she’s doing, turning to head back into the bedroom.
Crossing to the nightstand, I pick up my cell phone and tap the screen. When it doesn’t come on, I press the button on the side only to be met by a red empty battery icon.
“Fucking great.” I mutter, quickly snapping it into the charger.
Reaching for Charlie’s phone that’s sitting just inches from mine, the moment I unlock it, a slew of notifications come across the screen. A weather warning, email alerts, two missed calls, but it’s the eleven text messages from a number not stored in her contacts that catches my attention.
I know I shouldn’t, but without a second thought I click on the messages icon and start scrolling through. The first couple are just simple texts.
-Hey.
- What are you doing?
-You know you can’t avoid me forever right?
But then they get much more disturbing.
-You can run but you can’t hide Charlie.
-I know where you are.
-This is all in your hands right now. I’m giving you a chance.
-Don’t fucking do this Charlie. ANSWER ME!
-You’re fucking mine! Do you hear me Charlie? YOU ARE MINE!
-Come home or I’ll fucking make you come home.
-ANSWER ME CHARLIE
-You’re leaving me with no choice. Just remember, you did this.
The last one came in around four a.m. this morning.
My hands shake uncontrollably as I read the messages over and over, trying to wrap my head around what the fuck it is that I’m seeing. I’m so engulfed in fog that I don’t even notice that Charlie has entered the room until I hear her speak.
“What are you doing?” My gaze shoots to her and then back to her phone.
“What the fuck is this Charlie?” I look up, not trying to hide the fucking rage that is boiling inside me.
“Why do you have my phone?”
“What the fuck is this Charlie?” I repeat when she makes no attempt to answer me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Her voice goes up an octave as her eyes dance between my face and the phone. “Why do you have my phone?” She repeats her question.
“My phone’s dead. I was going to use yours to order the food.” I explain. “But then when I opened it, I was bombarded with messages from someone who seems to be under the impression that you belong to them.”
Her face drains of all color as she stares blankly at the device clutched tightly in my hand. She swallows hard and then mutters one word.
“What?” I question, not able to hear what she said.
“Drew.” She straightens her shoulders and says more forcefully.
“Who the fuck is Drew?” I question, trying to hold my temper in.
Despite the fact that the messages seem more like threats than ones you might receive from a friend, or boyfriend for that matter, jealously still rears its ugly fucking head and I’m doing everything in my power not to let the monster out.
“It’s not what you think.” She moves toward me. “I swear to you, we are not together.” She clearly senses where my mind has gone.
“Then perhaps you can fill me in on why he’s texting you.”
“He’s my ex.” She stops directly in front of me, peeling the device from my hand before scrolling through the messages herself. “And he’s the reason I left New York.” The look on her face when she finally meets my gaze causes every ounce of anger to drain from my body, only for it to return tenfold seconds later when I finally start to piece it together.
“What did he do to you?” My nostrils flare as I try to hold my shit in.
“It was nothing. He was just really possessive.” She tries to play it off but her reaction to the messages has already given away too much.
“Don’t fucking lie to me Char.” I growl, placing my hands on her shoulders as I dip down eye level with her. “What did he do to you?” I ask more gently, losing my fucking breath when tears fill her eyes and immediately begin to spill down her cheeks.
“Baby. Baby.” I chant, pulling her into my arms. “It’s okay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I came at you like that.” I speak into her hair.
“It’s not you.” She cries into my chest, sobs racking through her body as she trembles in my arms.
I’m fucking stunned. Numb. Confused. I’ve never seen Charlie like this... Ever. She’s always so strong. Whatever this is, whatever this guy did to her, it’s bad. The thought causes my stomach to knot violently.
“You’ve gotta tell me Char.” I speak softly, sucking in a hard breath when she pulls back slightly and meets my gaze.
“You have to understand, I didn’t know what to do. I believed him when he said it would never happen again. I gave in when he cried and begged for forgiveness. Over and over again I let him hurt me.”
“What do you mean hurt you Charlie? Did he hit you?” I have trouble pushing the question off my tongue.
She gives me a sad smile and pushes out of my embrace, pacing the room for several long moments.
“Charlie. I’m dying here.”
My plead causes her to stop dead in her tracks and snap her head in my direction.
“You have to swear to me that everything I tell you stays in this room. You can’t ever repeat it, to anyone. And you have to promise me right here and now that you will not, under any circumstances, contact Drew in any way, shape, or form.”
“Why the fuck would I want to?” Her eyes narrow at my statement and instantly I realize what she’s saying... I can’t go fucking kill him once she tells me what the hell he did to her.
“I need your word Paxton.”
“And you have it.” I answer without hesitation, praying to god it’s a promise I can keep.
Taking a deep breath, she crosses the room and takes a seat on the edge of the bed before letting it out slowly. Patting the mattress next to her, she turns inward when I sit down so that she can face me head on.
“As I said before, Drew is my ex-boyfriend.” She searches my face for several moments.
I’m not sure what she’s looking for in my expression but whatever it is, I’m glad it doesn’t stop her from continuing.
“I met him about half way through my sophomore year. He was a student at the university as well and we bonded over our mutual dislike for our English Lit professor. We became
fast friends and then one thing led to another and before the end of the year was up, we were dating. At first it was nice. He was nice. But after a few months things started to change. He became possessive, angry, demanding, and before long I didn’t even recognize him anymore. I couldn’t hang out with friends. Hell, he barely let me spend time with my aunt, who I was living with. It was like a light switch being flipped on and suddenly I was seeing the person he was.” She pauses, wiping a few more tears that manage to escape her eyes.
It’s taking everything in me to remain still and keep my hands knotted in my lap. I’m afraid if I move at all I’m going to fucking destroy everything in my path until this mother fucker is laying bloodied and broken beneath me. And what’s more, I know the worst is still to come.
“At first it was just verbal. Name calling, insults, making me feel insecure about my body. Then things started to get physical.”
“What do you mean by physical?” I get the question out through gritted teeth.
“The first time it happened I think I was just in shock.” She continues without really answering my question. “But then it became more and more frequent until I was more afraid of him than not. I tried breaking things off a couple of times but things just spiraled further. Pretty soon I was only with him because I was afraid of him and what he would do if I left. I knew I couldn’t go on like that. I knew eventually it would get so bad that I may never get out of it, or worse. I finally told Pam. At that point it had been going on for about six months.” She takes a long pause, not acknowledging the look of horror that I know is written across my face.
This is why when she came home something seemed off. We could all see it. Gavin and Decklan both commented about it. I thought it had to do with me. I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined that this was the reason she seemed hardened by New York. That he was the reason.
“Two weeks later I was home.” She shrugs, skipping over all the details that are either too painful to retell or she simply doesn’t want me to know about.
Even though I want to know every detail, the look on her face tells me everything I need to know. I don’t have to hear her say it out loud. My chest literally fucking hurts at the thought of what she went through.
“I don’t know how he got a hold of my email address, or my phone number for that matter, but he tracked me down somehow.” She adds.
“Email?” I question.
“Don’t freak out.” She doesn’t continue until I nod. “He sent me pictures of myself... Naked. Pictures he must have taken while I was sleeping. I don’t know what he hoped to accomplish by sending them to me. I deleted the email and didn’t respond. The text messages started a few days after that. They are just here and there. Little threats. I know he’s just trying to mess with me.”
“Does he know where to find you?” I ask, doing my best to keep my voice even and not show the emotion clogging every vessel inside me.
“He knows where I’m from but I don’t think he would ever come after me. He’s upset that I left New York without telling him. I think this is just his desperate attempt to get back at me. He wants me looking over my shoulder and I won’t live like that.”
“Are you sure he won’t come looking?”
“Yes.” She seems pretty certain.
“He hurt you.” My voice shakes slightly as everything starts to settle over me.
Finding her gaze, I reach out and trail my hand down the side of her face. How could anyone hurt this girl? How could any man put his hands on her?
“I’m okay.” The statement is a whisper.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I let my hand fall away.
“I didn’t want you to know.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t want you to look at me the way you’re looking at me right now.”
“How am I looking at you?”
“Like you feel sorry for me.” She takes my hand from my lap and wraps her fingers around it, giving it a tight squeeze. “I don’t want your pity. I don’t want you to seek retribution in my honor. I don’t need you to save me from my past. I just need you to love me now.”
Her words send my heart hammering madly in my chest. Every single part of me wants to do exactly what she’s saying. I want to save her. I want to hunt down the mother fucker that put his hands on my girl and fucking kill him. I want to make sure he knows that she is mine and I protect what is mine. But I also can’t deny what she’s asking of me.
“I already do.” I watch her eyes widen at my words. “I loved you when you left and I still love you now. I know a lot has changed over the years but that hasn’t. I love you Char.”
The tears that fall down her cheeks this time are ones of happiness. The smile that spreads across her face is enough is stop my heart dead in its tracks. Fuck me, I do love her; so fucking much.
Chapter Fourteen
Charlie
“I love you too.” I manage to finally get the words out after several long moments of silence stretch between us.
I don’t know if I’m in shock or if I’m just fearful this is some kind of dream, but from the moment he uttered the words I love you, I seem to have entered some kind of weird reality where everything seems skewed.
“I promise you.” He drops his forehead against mine. “I promise you he will never hurt you again.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” I bite down on my bottom lip trying to hold my emotion in.
I’m not usually a crier but seeing the look of horror on Paxton’s face pulled so much emotion out of me that I just simply could not hold it in. The whole situation with Drew is hard enough, especially since I have not spoken about it to anyone outside of Pam. But retelling the nightmare to Paxton, seeing the agony in his eyes, was damn near just as hard as dealing with the situation present day. His reaction broke me, and then healed me all at the same time.
“I understand.” His bright green eyes bore into mine. “But no more secrets Charlie. It’s your turn to promise me now. I need to know that you will give me absolute truth always. No matter how hard the truth may be, I have to know I can trust that you’re being straight with me.”
“I promise.”
The moment the words are uttered, his lips crash down on mine. There is a need in his kiss, a desperation that I don’t normally sense with him. I’m sure it has to do with everything he just learned.
Paxton has always been the one to take care of others. Decklan, when he lost Conner. His mom when she got sick. It eats at him to see those he cares about in pain and I know it’s probably killing him right now to not be able to do anything to fix what happened to me.
But he doesn’t need to fix it. He doesn’t see that just by being here with me, he’s already made it all so much better. I can live with my past with Drew as long as I get my future with Paxton.
“I love you.” He breathes against my lips, guiding me back onto the bed. “I love you so fucking much.” He bites and sucks his way down my neck, pulling articles of clothing off each of us as he does.
“I love you.” I arch my back and lift my hips, allowing him to peel my bottoms off before settling in between my legs.
“I just need to feel you.” He kisses me deeply before sliding inside of me on one quick thrust.
Just like that, the rest of the world fades away. Paxton pulls my body to new heights, showing me a pleasure like I have never known. His movements are strong, each thrust a powerful motion sending my body soaring higher and higher until I’m not sure if I will ever come back down to the earth.
****
“What are you doing?” I turn just in time to see Paxton slip inside my bedroom and close the door.
I open my mouth to say something else but before I can get anything out I’m in Paxton’s arms, his lips silencing me. His tongue slides across mine, pulling a deep moan from the back of my throat. My god this man makes me feel like a damn feen. Every time he’s even close to me all I want to do is feel him inside me.
“You’re gonna get us caught.” I gesture toward my bedroom door. “What if someone saw you come in here?”
“They didn’t.” He smirks. “Besides, I think it was worth it.” He winks before turning around and quietly exiting the room just as quickly as he had entered it.
“Seriously?” I say to myself, crossing my arms over my chest.
The nerve of that man. To walk into my room, kiss me like that, and then just leave me hanging? Hmph. Something about that just doesn’t seem right. Then again, it certainly does enough to attach a permanent smile to my face that I can’t quite seem to shake.
I jump slightly when a light knock sounds against my door just moments later.
“Now you knock.” I laugh, pulling the door open.
My smile immediately fades when I see Gavin standing in front of me.
“When do I not knock?” He questions, cocking his brow.
“Sorry, thought you were mom.” I lie, hoping he doesn’t question it.
“Oh.” He shrugs. “I just wanted to let you know that Mia is gone so you’re in the clear.” Gavin of all people understands the difficulty in dealing with our older sister.
“Thank you.”
“Harlee and I are heading out too. She has class in the morning and needs to get some homework done.”
“Oh okay.”
“I just wanted to come say bye before we took off.”
“You guys be careful. Please tell Harlee goodbye for me.” I say, giving my brother a one armed hug.
“I will.” He gives me one quick squeeze before releasing me. “Love ya Char.” He calls over his shoulder as he takes back off down the hallway.
“Love you too.” I call after him, watching him round the corner and disappear down the stairs.
I have always loved our monthly Spaghetti nights at the Porter house but I forgot just how much until I came back here. It’s one of my fondest memories as a child and I love that my mom still does it today. But given that I have to deal with my older sister Mia, it kind of puts a damper on the whole night, hence why I excused myself to my room early despite the fact that Paxton is here.
Crazy Stupid Perfection (Crazy Love, #3) Page 10