Serenity’s eyes were fixed on a spot between Sebastian’s shoulder and neck. “Don’t you think you should have changed your shirt?”
He frowned and lifted his hand to pull his collar out into his line of vision. He’d thought his jacket had protected the rest of his clothing, so he’d removed the item when he’d come home and washed his hands and face. The specks of blood on his shirt were tiny, but they hadn’t escaped Serenity’s attention.
Damn it. How had he missed them? He was slipping—off his game.
“Serenity, it’s not what you think.”
“No? So you didn’t go out and kill someone last night?”
His stomach sank. So this was what she was angry about. He’d thought she was upset with him about the proposal and then him walking out on her during their conversation. He’d not realized she was mad because she’d seen blood on his clothes and put two and two together.
He put his hands out toward her. “Serenity, it isn’t what you think—”
“Don’t lie to me, Sebastian.”
“I wouldn’t lie to you.”
How could he explain this to her without terrifying her? He didn’t want to scare her. But she didn’t give him the chance to explain.
“If we fight and you go out and hurt someone, that’s as bad as if you’ve been violent toward me or Elizabeth. Am I supposed to have that death on my hands now? Should I be forced to placate you out of fear that you’ll kill someone else?”
“No, Serenity, you don’t understand—”
She shook her head and focused her dark eyes on his. “That’s just it. I do understand. I understand only too well. I’ve been living with this since I met you.”
He stepped back as though she’d slapped him and then spat back, “Because your life was so perfect before I came into it.”
She stared back at him, angry tears trembling in her eyes.
Sebastian caught sight of Elizabeth standing in the doorway, watching them with wide, dark eyes, tears trembling in their depths, so reminiscent of her mother.
“I hate it when you guys fight!” she said, before turning and running away. Sebastian followed the sound of her footsteps as she ran back upstairs. Her bedroom door slammed.
“Elizabeth!” Serenity called after her. She shot Sebastian a glare that said ‘Now look what you’ve done.’ Then she gave a deep, exhausted sigh. “We’re tired, Sebastian. It’s been a long day. I’ve been driving half the day and Elizabeth hasn’t been sleeping well. She’s bound to be upset by all of this.”
“I’ll go up to her.”
“No, let me. I think you’ve done enough.”
Pain and resentment hung between them. Sebastian didn’t want to feel as though he was being pushed out, but he couldn’t help himself. Elizabeth and Serenity had always had a special bond—something he’d expect considering he’d missed out on the first few years of her life—but he’d hoped he’d made up for that.
It seemed no matter what he did, it would never be enough. What he was would always come back to haunt them.
All of Serenity’s emotions seemed to have balled together in the base of her stomach. How had this happened? Only the previous night, Sebastian had been asking her to marry him. Now, the tension between them was strained to the point of breaking.
His presence burned into her back. She knew he stood watching her, his arms folded across his chest, smoldering at her with his green-eyed gaze. She didn’t dare look back, knowing she would crumble and fall into his arms, kissing his face and dragging him up to see his daughter. She wanted them to be a family, but though she’d taken a step away from that with her rejection of his proposal, he’d also played a part in how she felt now.
He needed to understand that killing just because he was upset would never be okay, no matter what the circumstances. No excuses could cover an unnecessary death.
But he’s a vampire and an adult, she reminded herself. Who was she to tell him what to do or try to control him? She knew what she was getting herself into when she took him back. The very idea of her trying to control him was ludicrous. Plus, she’d been so worried about anyone controlling her, yet she was trying to do the same thing to him. Wasn’t she punishing him now in order to get him to behave the way she wanted? Weren’t her actions equally as manipulative?
Her emotions churned. Perhaps she was reacting so strongly because of what she’d been through with Jackson. She’d gone from being completely controlled to being terrified of anyone having any hold over her at all.
Elizabeth’s muffled sobs drifted down to her as she mounted the stairs. Her heart twisted.
She knocked gently and popped her head around Elizabeth’s door. The little girl lay on her stomach on her bed, her face buried into her pillow.
“Mind if I come in?”
Elizabeth didn’t look up, but she shrugged. Serenity took her response as a “yes” and entered the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her daughter’s back.
“Everything’s okay, sweetie. Your daddy and I were just talking.”
“No, you weren’t,” she said, her voice muffled in the pillow. “You were fighting.”
“Okay,” Serenity admitted. “Maybe you’re right, but sometimes grownups fight.”
Elizabeth sat up, sniffed, and wiped her face with the back of her hand. “Does this mean Daddy is going to go and live somewhere else?”
“No!” Serenity said, surprised. “Why would you think that?”
“Some of the other kids at school have Moms and Dads who don’t live in the same house.”
“Well, that isn’t going to happen to us.”
“But it did happen before, didn’t it? When I was a baby, Sebastian didn’t live with us.”
Serenity sighed. “Things are different now.”
“Are they? So why won’t you marry him and why are you fighting?”
“Sometimes grownups don’t agree on everything. But don’t worry, we’ll work things out. I promise.”
Elizabeth’s eyes searched her mother’s face and seemed to accept what she’d said. “Okay, Mommy.”
Serenity smiled. “You’ve had a long day. I expect you’re tired. Why don’t we get you ready for bed?”
Elizabeth didn’t put up much of fight. “Can I have a story?”
She’d grown out of having a story every night, the request a childlike need for routine and comfort.
“Sure, honey. Go brush your teeth and wash your face first, though.”
Elizabeth grabbed her pajamas from beneath her pillow and wandered off to her bathroom. Within seconds, Serenity heard the faucet running and the sound of scrubbing as her daughter got herself ready for bed. She lay down in Elizabeth’s spot, the pillow warm and slightly damp from her daughter’s tears.
Elizabeth came back from the bathroom and grabbed a book about a princess and a dragon from her bookshelf and snuggled up next to her mother. Serenity put an arm around her, pulling her child close, and began the story. Something about having her near always made life a little sweeter.
“What would dragons eat?” asked Elizabeth, interrupting the story.
“Mice,” said Serenity, resolutely. “Dragons eat mice.”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Mom! Dragons would not eat mice!”
“Why not?”
She thought for a moment. “I don’t know! Where would dragons live?”
“They live in the clouds.”
“Don’t be silly.” She put her hands in her lap, punching down the blankets. “Anyway, I don’t believe in dragons.”
Serenity gave a gasp of horror. “Don’t say that! Every time a child says they don’t believe in dragons, a dragon dies.”
Elizabeth laughed. “That’s fairies, Mommy!”
“No, it’s dragons as well.”
“Well, I don’t believe in them.”
Serenity darted forward and clapped a hand over her daughter’s mouth. “Shhh! You’ve killed two dragons now. Any more and they’ll come after you. A
nd you don’t want to make a dragon angry.”
Elizabeth squealed with laughter, twisting her head away to try to get out of her mother’s grasp.
Serenity laughed along with her. It felt good to not only see Elizabeth happy, but to laugh again herself. Sometimes she needed to remind herself Elizabeth was only a child—despite all of her abilities—and she needed to be allowed to act like one.
The bedroom door opened and Sebastian stepped into the room.
“I came to say goodnight.”
Serenity offered him a smile and then kissed Elizabeth’s soft cheek. “Your father’s right. It’s late. Time to get some sleep.”
“Okay, Mommy,” she said, snuggling beneath the blanket. She still had her comfort blanket tucked under her pillow and she reached for it as she settled down.
“Goodnight, sweetie,” said Serenity. “I love you.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
She stood up and passed Sebastian on the way out. Their arms brushed, sending her heart racing. That he could still affect her in such a way after all this time was crazy. She almost resented his ability to elicit such a response. Whether it was the drop of blood she took once a month that kept such a strong connection between them, she didn’t know, but whatever he did, she never seemed to stop wanting him. Glancing back over her shoulder, she watched him take her place on the edge of Elizabeth’s bed, the sight of him with their child melting her heart.
Serenity left the room and paused outside of the bedroom door, listening to Sebastian’s low murmured tones, followed by their daughter’s high-pitched giggles. She wished the relationship between her and Sebastian could be as easy. With Elizabeth, there was never any question about how they felt about her. It was a love that asked for nothing in return.
For the past year, she’d believed the same to be true of her relationship with Sebastian, but the last twenty-four hours had set her emotions in a whirl.
She stood waiting, knowing Sebastian would be able to hear her—the thump of her heartbeat, the inhale and exhale of her breath. He’d even sense the warmth her skin gave off. She didn’t know if having so much intimacy, even when apart, was a good or bad thing.
Within a few minutes, he backed out of the room and closed the door behind him.
“She’s sleeping.”
Serenity smiled. “That’s good. I think she’s had a rough couple of days.”
“I guess that’s another thing I screwed up on, huh? Convincing you to let her go to camp.”
She shook her head. “You had no way of knowing. And anyway, she wanted to go. She probably wouldn’t even be speaking to me right now if you hadn’t convinced me.”
“Perhaps sometimes we need to remember we’re her parents, not her friends.”
She looked up at him. “Is wanting to be both so wrong?”
Sebastian didn’t answer.
With a rueful sigh, she headed back downstairs to the kitchen, Sebastian following. A few dishes, left over from the simple meal of scrambled eggs and toast she’d made for Elizabeth’s dinner, were left in the sink. Feeling like she needed to busy herself, she walked over and started to fill the sink with fresh water and soap. The dishes weren’t enough to make a full load in the dishwasher.
Sebastian stood close behind her, his presence like a physical force against her back. Sometimes she felt as though she couldn’t think with him around. He seemed to own a piece of her mind, snatching her attention whenever he was near.
From behind, his cool fingers made contact with her neck and he swept her hair away from her face, trailing it down her back. She wanted to sigh and lean into him, feel his strong arms around her, lose herself in his protection again, but their earlier argument still went unresolved. Instead, she jerked away and focused on the dishes, lifting a highball glass out of the water and putting it on the drainer before attacking a chopping board with the ferocity she felt toward their situation.
“Serenity…” he started.
“Just leave it, Sebastian.” She rinsed off the chopping board and propped the heavy wooden slab on the drainer. “I need some time—”
The board slipped and knocked into the tall glass. Serenity stared as the glass flew off the draining board.
Sebastian reached out to snatch it from the air, but he moved too slowly and missed. The glass shattered on the floor with a crash, shards scattering across the tiles. Sebastian froze, his eyes wide. She caught sight of the confusion on his face and frowned. Sebastian didn’t miss things. He moved faster than gravity could pull an item to the ground.
“I need to go,” he said, spinning from the room in a blur.
“Sebastian, wait—” she called.
But he was already gone.
Damn it! Why did he keep disappearing? Is he keeping something from me, she wondered. Why else would he keep running out on her? This whole thing was draining, emotionally and physically. She just wanted to go to bed and start again fresh the next day. Perhaps on a good night’s sleep she’d be able to see things more clearly.
Not wanting to be anywhere near humans, still all too aware of his previous night’s experience, Sebastian headed into the forest. Part of him wondered if he’d run into the zombie-like creature he’d created, if he’d find the headless body stumbling between the trees, fingers dirt-encrusted from digging itself out of its unmarked grave. Or perhaps the man would have located his own head and be carrying it under his arm like a football.
Sebastian shook the macabre image from his head.
Worries drummed on his shoulders like skeleton’s fingers—threatening and disturbing. Even though he’d fed less than twenty-four hours ago, his limbs seemed to carry a weight he couldn’t see.
His toes caught on a thick root and he stumbled before regaining his balance.
Sebastian frowned, his lips pressed tight together. Fresh spurts of unease raced through him at his clumsiness.
His movements weren’t as lithe and agile as usual. Normally, his body seemed to sense the position of obstacles and knew where to place his feet or twist or leap. But now, he found himself consciously thinking about where he needed to step.
Sebastian replayed his attempt to catch the falling glass over and over again. Had something gotten in his way?
No, he’d simply moved too slowly to catch the object. But why? He’d never experienced any reduction in his vampire’s strength before. Even when injured, he recovered fast.
A shudder ran through his body. Something was wrong.
Chapter Six
Serenity woke with the certain knowledge movement in the house had roused her. She froze, motionless in bed, her ears straining. Was it Sebastian? Elizabeth? She knew she’d wake if she heard Elizabeth, though somehow her subconscious always managed to filter out sounds Sebastian made if he moved around the house while she slept. But Elizabeth would most likely come into the bedroom if she couldn’t sleep, and she had her own bathroom. She didn’t need to be creeping around the house.
The sound came again—the slow creak of floorboards and the low thump of footsteps along the corridor.
Slowly, the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck prickled and rose to attention, as though fingers ghosted their way along the length of her arms up to her back and shoulders.
She sat up, the sheets falling around her body, her breath caught in her lungs. Sebastian wasn’t lying in bed beside her, but that didn’t surprise her. This was Sebastian’s waking time and she couldn’t expect him to hang around simply because she slept.
No further noises came.
It must have been Sebastian she’d heard, she decided. But then why did her skin crawl? Why did her heart beat so fast? Every fiber of her being told her someone was in the house, someone who was not supposed to be there.
Sebastian? She sent out the call with her heart, hoping he’d hear her. But she got no sense of him in the house or anywhere close for that matter.
She needed to deal with this herself.
Shit. What should she do? Whil
e part of her wanted to stay in bed and hide beneath the sheets, the mother in her drove her to protect her child. If there was something else in the house, she certainly didn’t intend on leaving Elizabeth to fend for herself.
Something, she realized she’d thought. Something, not someone.
She didn’t like the way her mind was working. She felt the same way she had in the kitchen when she’d been certain she hadn’t been alone—the way her skin had crawled up over her shoulders, making her shudder.
Serenity slid her bare legs from beneath the sheets and her naked soles met with the plush carpet. As silent as possible, she rose to her feet and crossed the bedroom. Pausing at the bedroom door, she listened for the footsteps, but none came.
With her heart in her throat, she cracked open the door.
Another noise met her ears. A rushing shhhh sound, like distant traffic. Serenity frowned. Something about the sound seemed familiar, though she couldn’t quite place it.
A dim light flooded up from the lamp left on downstairs, offering enough light for her to see the space was empty. Whoever was responsible for the noises, they weren’t here now.
Cautious, she stepped out into the hallway. From behind, in the direction of Elizabeth’s room, came the creak of a floorboard. Serenity spun around, her heart lurching, but the hall remained empty.
Elizabeth!
Whoever it was must have gone into her daughter’s room.
She ran to Elizabeth’s room and, with no thought as to what she’d do should she find an intruder, rushed inside. She spun one way and then the next, trying to spot a figure standing in the shadows, but none materialized. Elizabeth still slept soundly, but Serenity suddenly realized the far off noise had grown louder.
The bathroom.
She raced to the adjoining room. Water gushed from the washbasin faucet, the tap on full blast. The sink brimmed, water beginning to trickle down the outside of the white porcelain and onto the floor, the overflow struggling to keep up.
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