by CELENE CAREY
He was pensive, waiting for me to calm down so he could continue.
“What are you talking about, Bill!” I almost yelled.
He was quiet and calmly, in almost a whisper, he replied, “You’ve just lost your privilege to speak, or even look at me. Take your fucking hair down and strip. And don’t make me wait too long.”
He left, went inside the room, to prepare my punishment I presumed. Fuck, I knew better than to raise my voice at him. I wanted to slap myself, I knew I took too much of a strong defence. God, I was fucked, and I wasn’t sure it’d be in a good way. The hair on the back of my neck prickled with excitement and fear as I hurriedly began to take my hair down and undress.
He returned, finding me on my hands and knees by the door. Running his fingers through my hair, he pulled it back, and slapped my face. “I have a right mind to spit on you. You disgust me. Get your ass inside here.” He held me by the hair, dragging me into the room.
Afraid to look around, I sat on my heels, waiting where he left me by the bed with my head down.
When he pulled me up on my feet, my heart almost killed me as it lodged itself inside my throat.
That was the first time I laid eyes on Veronica.
Veronica
Bill was odd today. He’d told me he had a surprise for me, for being a good slut. Surprises? What kind of surprise could an empty soul possibly think of? He didn’t strike me as the romantic type. I didn’t let myself get excited. Sure enough, there was nothing romantic to be excited about. A part of me was relieved, I didn’t know if I could handle him professing his love for me- that would make a bad situation worse. When I need love, I know where to get it. I didn’t want things getting any more complicated.
We got to the playroom on a rainy Saturday evening and I was in the mood to fuck. What was the surprise? We did the usual strip and get into bed, no surprise in that. Then, things started to get funny, not haha-funny, but awkward-funny. He’d told me how pretty I looked strapped down to the bed, how much he wanted to simply fuck me, but his twisted mind wouldn’t let him. Twisted mind? He sounded insane, but I knew he was a man who kept it together, or at least pretended to. He got the flogger and slapped my outspread pussy. It stung my clitoris in an erotic way and I was soaking the sheets beneath me. I couldn’t see him, but I knew he was walking around the room. My legs were beginning to ache from being outspread for so long. What was he waiting on? The door opened and closed as he left, inwardly I sighed... It opened again and I heard shuffling, then quietness.
“Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you,” I said in a slow sultry voice.
“Please take me… I can’t wait any longer,” I whispered, unsure if I was even allowed to speak since there’d been no talking or instructions, all I was told to do was relax.
Everything was still, the silence drove me insane. I waited and waited.
It was broken with his instruction, “Taste her.”
What? What? What? As if the revolution had begun, I felt another presence. Who was it? I began to struggle, strain, almost in a rage, pulling at the ribbons he’d use to tie my limbs to the bed. They wouldn’t budge.
“No! No!”
Bill had moved. My senses were like that of a canine. I stilled and listened as he came around the bed, put his lips to my ear while holding my neck, and whispered, “You look so beautiful. You’re my pretty girl, my best girl. Don’t you want to please me?”
I nodded.
“Then shut up, be still, and don’t make me have to speak to you again.”
I was terrified; I’d never heard a tone like that. Well, in psychotic movies, yes. I felt like a kidnap victim strapped to a table about to have her scalp peeled and used as a wig for a psychotic killer with a blonde obsession. Had Bill finally lost it? Who the fuck was looking at me sprawled out naked and embarrassed? I was grateful for the blindfold because I could not bear to look at or remember the face. Was it Timothy? Was Bill going to get off from watching his best friend have his way with me? I thought I was his? How could he do something this foul? Running circles around my mind of who, what, and why’s, I was hauled from my panic-stricken mind when I felt plumped lips against the moisture of my mound. A tongue, then a stifled groan. It was a woman. A woman! Who was she? Bill knows how homophobic I am. WHY WAS HE DOING THIS? My mind wanted to yell “rape,” but my body reacted to her touch. She was better, better than Adam. She moved slowly, unwillingly, but she felt good all the same, better than Bill? Okay, maybe not.
“Good girl,” I could hear Bill softly cooing in her ear. I could imagine him softly rubbing her head as she licked at me. She almost seemed like she began to enjoy it, but all the same, my mind wasn’t letting me. My body replied while the entire time my mind had been rejecting her sweet assaults. I wanted to tear my hair out. I was gripping the sheets. I felt my hips rising to meet her tongue strokes, forcing myself down on her tongue as she wiggled it inside my love hole. I was cumming, cumming on the lips of another woman. I was disgusted with myself. I wanted to curl into a fist and fight for my dignity and self-worth and all my beliefs. But my pussy just wanted release.
Petrified
Claire
At first I was crushed. Had there been someone else all this time? Who was she? She was beautiful, unlike any other woman I’d seen Bill talk to. She looked fragile, simple, and glorious. I appraised her body: full breasts, broad hips, a complexion between honey and caramel. Her chest heaved as Bill went to her ear and whispered. Then he made me do it. I knew how to eat pussy, I did. I knew what I liked and all the right buttons other men had never hit, but never had I imagined I’d come face to face with a pussy. One fatter than mine even, or was it her legs that made it seem so? In high school I had kissed a girl while playing truth or dare but that had been it, no experimenting, nothing. I couldn’t handle Australia and its stereotyping. And I had still thought dick was too good to do without. Nothing was as sweet as a big hard cock… like Bill’s.
After she orgasmed, not too long after I began, Bill sucked her juices from my mouth, kissing me as if I’d been carrying his life on my lips. Then he brought me to my knees. I had to watch and suffer as he looked at her pussy, rubbed her jumping clit, and slowly penetrated her with his middle finger. She gasped. I bet she was still tender from the orgasm I gave her. He began finger-fucking her harder. He took it out, put it to my mouth, and I sucked. He pulled his dick out and I sucked it as well. He moaned and she stirred, I watched her through the side of my eyes as she strained, trying to hold her head up though the black satin blindfold was opaque- I knew because I had been in her place.
“Look at me,” he commanded, one hand playing with the woman on the bed’s pussy, the other turning my neck towards him. Suddenly it clicked, he hadn’t made love to me, but to her. He took his cock from my mouth and went around to hers. I watched as she worked him, as he reacted in a way I had never seen him react before, and I knew she wasn’t doing anything different from what I did. Who was she and who had he become? He was on the edge. He came back to me and put my face to her pussy once more while he stroked his dick and watched me eat her. Listening to her moans, he came on my face, panting, some in my hair, some on her belly. She came, too. Listening to his moans, I was thrown into a darkness I had no clue if I would return from.
Picking myself up, I ran. He didn’t chase me.
The Best Was Yet To Come
Bill
This had been the best idea I ever had. I have never been so sexually stimulated, it was exhilarating watching a mouth I knew was skilled and hot flick Veronica’s pebble up and down. Claire did a great job. She left and I let her. Veronica and I were now alone. Her body lay rigid, her nipples still erect, and looking at her there, I grew hard all over again. I climbed on top of her, put a pillow beneath her hips, and penetrated her raw; I needed this. I didn’t bother to start slow, immediately I went at a pace that was bound to give me a heart attack. Soon enough I felt like my balls were in cardiac arrest as I was coming. Forcing my
self, I dragged out, ripping my unwilling body from hers and coming on her inner thigh. I covered her body and untied her. She rolled onto her side, turning her back to me. I fell asleep smiling, like “Pleased Puss” I heard many Australians would say when your smile is so bright and you smile so hard that your cheeks hurt, pleased with yourself. I was pleased with Claire, too; she did what needed to be done. I was pleased with Veronica as she understood that my word was more than law, it was the never-ending commandment. Most of all, I was pleased with myself. I felt like a boy who’d finally lost his virginity to the head cheerleader. Too bad I couldn’t tell anybody. All good things were to be shared, no? Well, Claire and Veronica just shared a great thing: me.
When I woke up, Veronica was gone as well. I didn’t know what to make of it, but I didn’t regret what I had done. Thinking about it made me want to fuck, and fuck very hard. But Veronica could not manage that; she might even be sore today, fucking raw did that to a woman. Thinking about her all day each day, I waited two days before I called, hoping it would allow her to collect her thoughts. The thing with being a dom is we have to let our subs find the pleasure in serving, even if they have to do something they don’t really want to, they should want to because they will know within themselves that they are pleasing us, which should be their ultimate goal. Like my ultimate goal is pleasing them… or is it? Claire should’ve understood that by now and Veronica needed to as well. It was risky having them in the same room, letting her do that to Veronica but I had total control. I breathed in a long draw of air and smiled. I was having my cake and eating it too and it tasted like Veronica’s sweet honeysuckle. Whoever said three was a crowd had obviously never had his dick sucked by two women at once. I am a proud dog, nothing more, nothing less.
Violated
Veronica
This isn’t what I signed up for. I had been ready for whatever he was going to bring at me, but another woman was a game changer. Was she his girlfriend? Did he always do this to his subs? She didn’t seem willing. I never saw her, but I heard the door slam and it must’ve been her storming out. No argument? No fuss? She must’ve been well-trained. If I had been on that end, maybe I would’ve used the safe word. I was determined not to, though. I went home and climbed into bed; Jonathan had been sleeping. I cuddled to his back and wept silently; I was lost.
The altercation my conscience tried to have with me failed. I felt safe in Jonathan’s arms and nothing would change that. He would always be my sweet Jonathan, and maybe I should accept that, and never question it again. I had failed him and my body had failed me. My weakness to temptation had served to be the death of my dignity. I just hoped I’d be able to shake it, and not show any signs of this to Jonathan, and be strong enough to resist my urges. Truth was, I still wanted Bill. All the bullshit tends to consume you, but I would fight it. I’d fight the desire to see him and I’d fight to enjoy and want Jonathan. He brings a lot more to the table than sexual fulfilment. He brings me joy, he brings me safety, and most of all, he brings me love, like a sunny sky on a public holiday.
Old Wounds
Bill
It had been a week and a half. Veronica hadn’t called back. I called, texted, even went by her office since she didn’t let me know where she lives. She ignored me every time. I got the feeling Claire didn’t want to hear from me either. That was neither here nor there to me. I had Veronica. I had to have Veronica. Needed to have her, needed to break and control her. She was getting beneath my skin. I had gotten weak, but she would pay for doing this to me. I’m sure it’ll be long enough before she gives in, but she will. I am confident about it. I supped on my Guinness. It was time for a ride. I was strapping up, saddling up; I mounted my time machine and took off down the streets, on a death trap. I’d forgotten how fast she could go. I thought about Veronica, why she hadn’t called. It was a lesson that nothing was too great of a boundary, that I would test all of hers. I gunned the engine, flying, blood rushing; I almost closed my eyes and did a city of angels pose on the machine as we flew to Port Royal. That was my favourite street, looking at the land strip across the ocean, the distant lights, watching them all fly by me. I sped even more. Veronica. Was she worth it? No sooner had I seen the headlights and realised that at 3 o’clock in the morning, I wasn’t the only one who appreciated this street, then I skidded, almost falling over as my leather boot heel burned on the pavement; a car on the opposite side of the road sped pass me.
In a flash so much of my past flooded my brain. I saw Zoey, her lifeless body, the woman behind us wailing and covering the face of her six month old son. The firemen were running towards her trapped body in my Subaru; I was thinking to myself that it was all my fault. We were arguing about something so insignificant that I don’t even remember what it was now. I had turned the music up over her screaming at me; she punched my arm. I used my right hand to grab the guilty arm, holding the wheel with my left hand, and she scratched me. I yelled at her and by the time I looked ahead we had been sailing through the red light and into a twelve-foot trailer. I had been thrown from the car and Zoey had been dead, pinned to the dashboard with something crushing her spine, her lifeless body looking in my direction, eyes open. I stopped, pulled over, got off the bike, my heart had been racing, my mind escaping, going to a place I had not been for years. Memories of Zoey flashed in front of me. I had been standing, facing the darkness on the side of the street, daydreaming it was day and she on the beach running towards me. Wiping my face with the back of my hand, I climbed on and slowly crept home, for sure I would not sleep tonight.
What should’ve and could’ve been would haunt me. My unborn child had shown in the autopsy- she was three weeks pregnant. I bet she knew, that was the worst part about burying my fiancé. She was dead because of me. Because I lacked control, I lost it. She laid lifeless, in a casket because Bill had been too careless! Enraged, I screamed; it was muffled by my helmet. Zoey, beautiful Zoey. Half Latin-half African American, a cream skin that was perfect, her shapely mouth that exposed a radiant set of teeth when she smiled. Zoey was the death of me. She had taken my heart with her into another life. I had left the fast life behind and gained control in every single way, starting with controlling myself and my emotions on her funeral day. Her parents had loved me, wanted me around, and kept hinting about me marrying her, giving them grandchildren. The very same woman, her mother, who had gone with me to choose her wedding ring, her father who had given me his blessing; both stood on the opposite side of the casket looking at me with dismay as well as hate. They never said it, but I knew they would’ve preferred to see me lying in that coffin. No parent liked to bury, or should ever have to bury, a child, but they were burying theirs, and inside I was burying mine. I couldn’t have cushioned the blow. I didn’t call, the news got to them some other way. They called for days, but I spoke to no one. Zoey was the only person that I could communicate with. It had been months before I threw out her old things and gave the good ones to charity. She was a pianist, her piano was in storage. So were her trophies, her albums, and other precious things I couldn’t bear to touch or give away. I buried her with her engagement ring and wedding band. Her headstone was marked “Zoeanna Hilton” instead of “Zoeanna Fitz.” She was mine. “May your soul rest in peace, my angel, as you watch over me.”
She couldn’t be proud of what I had become, but thinking that couldn’t stop me from what had started out as sadism and turned into fun, turned into everything I needed. Was this my method of coping? Why did I need this so much? I wasn’t going to drink my sorrows away; I had a job to do that I couldn’t do drunk, so I had to relieve myself some other way. It didn’t look so bad from my angle. I didn’t force anyone to do what they didn’t want to. My subs were all willing. All beautiful, but none could tame the wild tornado that had swallowed my soul whole.
Now I was heartless and soulless. After taking my compassionate leave (not out of accepting the pity everyone had on me, I took it out of exhaustion) the CEO offered me the position as SGM of
company, networking in Australia. I jumped at it, I knew I would have a problem getting accustomed to the heat, the food, the people, the music, to the country life, but it would be worth it. I would be able to start anew, the new me would have a clean slate and I could leave the self-pity behind and be a stronger, better, and more controlled person. But Veronica. Veronica and her poem reading, dick sucking, fat pussy, honey eyes, full lips, round face, good kissing, big titties, and great-ass-having-self had awoken what I thought had been impossible. She was a sex fanatic who wore her innocence full force whenever she wanted to, but had a spicy tongue whenever she felt the need. Veronica was my blind spot; I hadn’t seen her coming. You call it love, some call it obsession. All I knew was Veronica was mine.
I called Veronica, left a stern voice message once I was home, “Veronica, I do not expect this of you. Don’t play with fire. You know better than this. You belong to me, your body and mind know this. Whatever trick you’re playing on yourself will not work. You can’t change what happened between us, there’s no turning back. You can’t hide how you reacted. It’s a short time before you can’t hold out anymore. You cannot play me, nor play with me. There will be firm consequences for your actions. I will punish you, but you know what comes after your punishment. I will please you. You ignoring my calls can be classified as disrespect, however if you ignore this message you know exactly what will happen to you.”