by Nancy Widrew
“What if someone discovers what you’re doing?”
“So who cares? What’ll they do? Kill me? Hey, want to come with me next time?”
Karen pasted a sloppy kiss on his face. “Yes!” she said. “Of course, I do.”
“Good. Then let’s get some sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”
“Jeremy,” she said, fidgeting in the darkness. “There is one more thing.”
He rolled back in her direction.
“It’s been so long,” she began. “We can’t keep going on like this.”
The taste in Jeremy’s mouth turned bitter. “I’m sorry,” he said, the gist of her words ringing in his ears, “but it’s out of my control. I don’t have the urge.”
“But we could try.”
“No,” he said, stinging her with the finality of his decision. “I won’t give them the satisfaction. Now go to sleep.”
Karen closed her eyes, but sleep didn’t come to her or to him.
#
Karen had just finished turning the guano when she heard him approach. By now she recognized his walk, fast and confident, but with a heavy step on one side followed by a lighter one on the other.
She was feeling more nervous than usual, knowing it was the last day of Rahm’s rotation and she still couldn’t “see” with her voice. She felt determined to make this the day.
He approached her jauntily, purposely teasing her with a double entendre. “I like fast women,” he said, noting both the shovel in her hand and the curve of her hip. “Couldn’t wait for me, could you?”
“I was hurrying so we could get down to business.” She threw the shovel, missing him by inches to be sure there was no misunderstanding her intentions.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to upset you. Look I’d be happy to start right away only there’s something … a surprise I want to show you first. It won’t take long.”
“Oh. What’s that?”
To make up for his inappropriate quip, he extended his hand like a gentleman, grasping her gently above the elbow. “Come. See for yourself. I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
He led her down a new path, keeping hold of her arm, so that she wouldn’t trip on loose pebbles or ruts. He stopped near a tiny stream where the water formed a shallow pool similar to the one where they did their laundry. After placing a lantern on a flat rock, he took two candles from his pocket and lit them too. The glow from the lights cast yellow beams on the water.
Standing close, he entwined his fingers with hers. “Happy birthday.”
“What?” she said, eyes open with surprise as she pulled away, disengaging herself from his grip.
“Brian said it’s your birthday. You know how he never forgets a date.”
“Is it really? Funny, I haven’t kept track.” Her words and tone shot forth a note of disdain. He brushed it aside.
“I wanted to give you something nice,” he said. “But I couldn’t think of anything appropriate. Then I thought of this.”
Curious, Karen stepped closer and looked into the water only inches in depth, noticing glossy white, marble-sized beads suspended throughout. Some had sunk toward the bottom where they sat unmoving like a cluster of grapes. “Why, they’re pearls,” she said, pleased by the discovery. “How did they get here?”
With her words and tone ceding wonder, Rahm steered his answer to complement hers. “They’re cave pearls,” he said. “They’re made of calcite deposits just like the other formations evolving here, but in this case they grew around a pebble or a piece of sand. Magnificent, aren’t they?”
“Yes,” she agreed, and before he could stop her, she reached in and drew one out. Immediately, it turned to powder in her palm. “I-I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t realize.”
“My fault. I should have warned you.” He inched closer, scanning her neck. “A strand of pearls would look lovely on you, but I’m afraid you’ll have to appreciate these gems in their natural surroundings.”
Karen’s lips began trembling and she automatically clenched her jaw to hide any perceived weakness. His words “natural surroundings” struck a chord and she visualized Dorothy tapping her heels, declaring, “There’s no place like home.” How long could she and Jeremy survive in this place full of wonders, yes, but also light-years from all she knew and loved?
“How about we move on to your lesson?” said Rahm.
Karen agreed, remembering her primary goal. Focus, focus, she told herself.
They looked for a dry level space and sat down. This time it took Karen mere seconds to dig through the sand, fall through the treasure chest, and arrive at the palace with its upside-down glaciers.
She didn’t stay long. Shivering from the cold, she closed the palace’s ice-encrusted door and wandered lost yet unafraid, shadowed by her sense of purpose, until she arrived at a familiar city with a familiar street. “Why, I’m home,” she said, recognizing her apartment building in Baltimore.
She climbed the stairs, her breath coming fast as she took that final step onto the third-floor landing. Realizing she’d misplaced her key, she almost panicked but fortunately the door flew open on its own accord. Inside, the sealed-tight drapes hid the sun, but she made her way down the darkened hall by feeling with her hands. She found the bedroom where a cloaked stranger waited. She had expected him. Worn out and famished, she let him lead her to the bed where he fed her delicacies, unfamiliar yet delicious, sweet and sour. She opened her mouth for more.
An orchestra played a slow two-step, and the cloaked stranger said, “May I?” in an invitation to join him in a dance. He didn’t wait for an answer, simply held out a hand and drew her up where they cleaved like magnets, forming a whole, like interlocking pieces of a puzzle. The music ebbed to an undertone and she heard a click-click and opened her eyes, stunned to see Rahm, his mouth upon hers. Knees shaking, she dropped to the ground, had a moment of clarity, but the force proved irresistible, and her arms reached out.
“Close your eyes if you wish,” she heard him say, “but keep your mouth open. It’s the only way.”
He pulled off his shirt and placed her head upon it as he began pulling off her clothes. A sax soloist began a bluesy-jazz instrumental and she smoldered and slithered as Rahm kissed her neck, shoulders, and each breast in turn, causing her to forget everything but his hands on her, feeling her, stroking her. It had been so long since anyone had aroused her in this way.
Timidly at first, she began to explore his body, in turn. It felt both solid and compact, every inch teeming with muscle. His skin felt rough, almost like sandpaper, simultaneously tickling and scratching her hands. Running her fingers over his buttocks, so neat and lean, she became aware of how different he was from her. And she loved the difference.
He licked her tummy, leaving little red love bites and she groaned with pleasure, spurring him on. He lowered his body upon her, careful not to burden her with his full weight; nevertheless, she momentarily flinched as he pressed his hardness against her. The music shifted, became faster, and she opened her eyes.
Above her a disco ball, with thousands of tiny mirrored facets, spun hypnotically, surrounding her with a light show of flashing, bright rainbow colors. Her body pulsed to the pounding beat of a synthesizer’s strings and horns, reverberating off the walls, as she writhed to a love-to-love-you female quaver.
Again he admonished, “Keep your mouth open.” Not caring or understanding why, she did as told.
She sailed on a boat. A violent gale whipped the small sloop, threatening to tip it over. When finally it did, she fell into the water which wasn’t really water but a slimy, essential ooze made of the basic elements of life. Protozoans merged with starfish, which merged with lizards, and now her. As an ancient sea creature lashed her with its tail, her body contracted with a pleasure she could no longer contain. She sprang up, her back arched at an aberrant angle. She hung like a puppet suspended by wires until she collapsed to the ground, exhausted. Curling on her side, she rubbed her eyes, murmuring, “I
just need a minute.”
When she came to later, she had no idea how long she’d been asleep. She rose on her elbows, dismayed to find no sign of Rahm and wondered if she had imagined it all. Placing a hand on her bare abdomen, she groaned, her nostrils flared. A trace of his smell had mingled with hers, and she knew it had been real. With the stark implication of what she had done flashing before her, she screamed, “Idiot! Moron! How could I be so stupid?” Picking up a rock, she hurled it into the pool, disturbing the pearls. Her pearls. “Fuck them!” she cried.
Hastily, she draped a shirt around her body, made her way to the bathing area where she jumped in without giving a thought to the frigid water. While she scrubbed off the lingering evidence of the morning’s activity, she heard a small scratching sound on a rock and turned in its direction. Narrowing her eyes into slits, she still couldn’t make out what it was. She opened her mouth. “Click-click.” It was only a bug.
#
“How did everything go today?” asked Jeremy, later that evening.
“F-fine,” said Karen.
“Did you learn anything important? You must have more to say than that.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m tired. If you don’t mind I’d like to go to sleep.” Without waiting for a response, she flicked off her muddy shoes and climbed into bed, burying her head under the pillow.
Jeremy looked down at her, a helpless, anguished creature searching for a semblance of peace and safety. Guilt-ridden, he clutched at his chest as he faced an ugly truth. He’d been so involved in his own struggle, his loss, his pain, that’d he’d hardly given her a thought. Obviously, she too was suffering.
“Karen,” he whispered.
She groaned.
“I’m sorry about how I’ve been behaving. I know I’ve been ignoring you and I want to fix that right now. I was worried, you see, about you becoming pregnant, but from all indications, it’s almost impossible in these surroundings. And besides—you were right—we can’t go on like this forever.”
Before she could object, he climbed in beside her, smothering her mouth with his. “I love you,” he said, causing tears to well up in her eyes and flow toward her ears. Jeremy, mistaking them for symbols of joyful celebration, licked them away, not knowing his own moment of celebration was tinged with the height of deceit.
Chapter 15
Rahm sought out Randy for a private chat, waiting until the day’s chores were through. “How’s your special assignment going?”
“You mean with Jeremy?” he asked.
Rahm moved his head up and down.
“Good,” said Randy. “Just like you said, I’m working undercover.”
He moved directly in front and gripped the boy by both shoulders. “I knew I could count on your help, and you know why I asked you to spend time with him?”
Randy squirmed. “I think so.”
“You’re old enough to understand what he did at the lake?”
“You mean tried to kill himself?”
“Yes. That’s what I mean. How’s he seem to you?”
“Better, I think. Besides fishing, he asks me lots of question about the cave. We take walks and he tells me about life above. You know there’s a place called Disney World with rides and stuff. And kids go to school too—every day; they learn about history and science. Jeremy says we landed a man on the moon in ’69 and there’s been more landings since. Is it true?”
“It’s true,” said Rahm.
“Wow! I’d like to be an astronaut when I grow up. I miss seeing the stars. You still taking me above like you said, right?”
Rahm hesitated. “Of course. When you’re old enough.”
“I’m old enough now. I’ll be twelve soon. Can you take me to Disney World?”
Rahm pressed his forefinger vertically against the midpoint of his mouth. “That costs lots of money,” he said. “Hey, you know what, Randy? You don’t need to follow Jeremy around so much, anymore. In fact, Norman needs help fixing the cabinets. They’re falling apart. I’ll check when he’s going to start. You interested?”
Randy tipped his head. “I guess so, as long as there’s time for me to start school. Karen said I should learn to read and she’s going to teach me. Math, too. I better go ask her when my first class begins.”
Rahm remained behind as Randy ran off. He had an unsettling feeling. Perhaps his plan hadn’t worked out the way he had hoped. Then again, maybe it did.
#
Before breakfast and after dinner, Karen and Jeremy investigated the myriad passageways in what seemed an impossible maze. Karen took the lead, lighting the way. She dared not use echolocation, fearing he’d hear the first few clicks and discover her secret. Jeremy followed, struggling to both lay the string and sketch a diagram of their route. So far all attempts ended in disappointment as one tunnel after another brought them to a dead end or back to their starting point.
“This is damned discouraging,” said Jeremy, tearing that evening’s sketch in two.
“Don’t do that,” admonished Karen.
“Why not? Fuck it! It’s good for nothing.”
“That’s not true,” said Karen, crinkling her nose. Unlike her, Jeremy rarely used the F word. “We are making headway. At least we know which ways not to go.”
Jeremy raised a single eyebrow, a talent he had used as a reporter, thinking that it made him look clever. Now it was just a habit. “Okay, you’ve got a point.” He jammed the paper in his pocket. “I guess my patience is wearing thin. Maybe we should head back.”
“It’s still early and we haven’t tried that tunnel yet.”
Jeremy looked in the direction she pointed. “Haven’t you had enough punishment for one day?”
Karen persisted. “We may as well try. It’s right here.”
“Okay, okay,” he said. “But I’m sure we’re just wasting time in this area. Well, let’s get it over with.”
Soon they were shuffling sideways in a narrow space with Karen still in the lead. When the tunnel finally widened, the ceiling, as if out for mischief, dropped a foot and Karen and Jeremy both skimmed the tops of their heads. “Slow down,” said Jeremy, wiping what he hoped wasn’t blood from his scalp. “I’m pooped and my back hurts.”
“Mine, too,” said Karen, “but we do seem to be heading up.”
Jeremy stood still, trying to fix his internal compass. “You know, I think you’re right.”
Karen looked back, wary. “Better not get excited. It’s probably nothing.”
Despite her warning, they walked faster. When Jeremy walked straight into a column, bumping his nose, he didn’t complain. When a rat scampered across Karen’s shoe, she didn’t scream. Did it recently come from above? she wondered.
Lying flat on their bellies like lizards, they wriggled over huge boulders using a swimming-like motion, with arms circling forward as they pushed with their feet. Eventually, they found themselves in a large room. Jumping to the ground, they walked about counting the offshoots. “Dammit!” yelled Karen, throwing a rock against the wall. “There are four ways to go and I’m exhausted. What do we do?”
Jeremy caught his breath. “First thing is to keep our cool. That was your advice. Remember? But just think! This is a great find, and it also happened at the right time.” He held up the ball of string, now shrunk down to thimble size. “It’s probably best if we go back. If we don’t someone’s bound to miss us and come looking.” He lifted the string again. “This was from our backpack, but I’m sure there’s more in the supply area. We can check later.” He gave Karen a hug, thrilled by their progress. She beamed in response, both at his display of affection and the possibility of a real discovery.
After retracing their steps, they paused at the end of the tunnel where Jeremy completed the final corrections on his diagram. He turned to his wife. “You can’t let anyone see that goofy grin on your face. You look like you discovered America.”
“You should see yourself. You’ll give everything away without even openin
g your mouth. I guess we’d both better calm down.”
They laughed, letting their excitement drain off, and as a final precaution, Karen bit down on her tongue. “How do I look now?”
“Like you ate a roach.”
“Good.”
With their expressions fixed at neutral, they strolled through Suburbia, Downtown, and entered The Ballroom, continuing on to the supply area, where they found Helene poking through the shelves. “Can’t find the fucking tampons,” she said.
Karen and Jeremy exchanged glances, mumbled hellos, and went back to their quarters. Jeremy put a finger to his lips, reminding her, “This place is like an echo chamber. We don’t want anyone to know our plans.”
“Just what are our plans?”
“I’ve got it all worked out. I’ll get up during the night, go back to the supply area, and get the string. Tomorrow you go to the mushroom garden as usual. I’ll explore the cave mountain on my own.”
“What’s the ‘cave mountain’?”
“Just a generic term. Everyone uses it for all the passageways leading up, and best of all every last one connects to that supreme place on top: freedom!”
“But I want to come too.”
He shook his head. “Won’t work. Rachel’s your partner this week. If you don’t show up in the garden, she’ll report back. I can always say I don’t feel like working—too depressed or something. They got a taste of my screwy behavior at the lake and won’t be suspicious if I momentarily slack off. Tomorrow was supposed to be my last day with Randy. He’s starting a new project with Norman. He’ll be disappointed, but I’ll make up an excuse.”
“Why can’t we get up early like we usually do?”
“It may take too long. Remember there are four paths to check out. We’d better play it safe.” He smiled in that teasing, lopsided fashion that first made her fall in love with him. “Don’t worry. When I find the way out of this prison, I’ll come get you. Just think, Karen … by this time tomorrow, we may be free.”
“Please,” she said. “Don’t say it. Don’t even think it. If it happens, I swear I’ll go to church every week for the rest of my life, but if it doesn’t, well, at least I didn’t get my hopes up.”