“Where?” he asked, his fingertips biting into her flesh.
“Whiskey’s.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You mean that strip joint?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.” Shame burned her cheeks as the memory of where she’d seen them came rushing back.
“What the hell was he doin’ there?”
“His friend Johnny owns the place. I guess he went there to see him and met her.” She didn’t know whether he’d known the woman before, but believing it was a meaningless one-night stand made his betrayal seem easier to stomach somehow. “We had a fight. In his defense, I think he was questioning whether we even had a future when he left my apartment last night.”
“Your brother said they had you guys over to dinner last night,” Josh said, letting his hands fall to his sides. “He said things went great. In fact, he told me he didn’t think it would be long before Ryan popped the question.”
Brianna turned away, afraid to let her father see the tears welling up in her eyes. She knew he was already furious with Ryan, and seeing the evidence of her pain would only fuel the fire raging inside of him. Ryan was still the son of one her father’s best friends. They were all like family and she didn’t want what happened last night to taint everyone’s opinion of Ryan. In spite of what happened, she knew he wasn’t a terrible person. He just wasn’t cut out to be in a committed relationship… at least not with her.
“Tell me what happened,” Josh said quietly, setting his hands on her shoulders. “I want to help if I can.”
She closed her eyes. If only it were that easy. “There’s nothing you can say or do to make this better. I just have to find a way to get past it.”
“What about your job?”
“I handed in my resignation this morning. Evan was great about it; he said he understood why I couldn’t work there anymore and offered to give me a letter of recommendation. In fact, he even gave me the bonus Ryan was supposed to give me last week.” She ran her hands over her upper arms, trying to ward off the sudden chill. “That should tide me over until I find something else.”
“Where are you headed now?”
She looked over her shoulder at him. “Up to the cabin, if that’s okay? I just need a few days to get my head together before I come back and start looking for a new job.”
“Are you sure it’s a good idea for you to be up there all alone? I bet your mom would love to come up and keep you company.”
“Thanks,” she said, smiling. “But I really do need a little alone time to figure out where to go from here.”
“You’re not thinkin’ about leavin’ town permanently, are you?”
She couldn’t deny the thought had crossed her mind. Living here, she was bound to run in to Ryan at social functions, and she wasn’t sure she could handle that. Maybe a year or two from now when the memory wasn’t so vivid, it would be easier for her to look him in the eye without thinking about the life they’d almost had.
“I honestly don’t know what I’m gonna do. That’s why I need a little time. I’ll do some research online, see what kind of opportunities are out there.” She drew a deep breath and squared her shoulders as she turned to face her father. “A change of scenery might not be a bad idea.”
“Don’t let him drive you out of town, honey,” he said, brushing away the tear that clung to her lashes. “This is as much your home as it is his. If this town isn’t big enough for both of you, he should be the one to leave, not you.”
She reached up to kiss his cheek. “The fact is, everything around here reminds me of Ryan. He’s been a part of my life forever, so it doesn’t matter whether he’s living here or not. Everywhere I go and everything I do will always remind me of him.” She cleared her throat as she fought to maintain control of her emotions. “Doesn’t matter whether it’s the jogging trail, or the little café on the corner, our favorite movie theatre or restaurant…” The tears were flowing freely now and she knew it was pointless to try and stop them. “He’s the best part of my past, and I never want to forget him.”
“Oh, baby,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “I’d do anything to make this better for you.”
“I know you would.” She slipped her arms around his waist. “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay. I’ll get over this.” Eventually.
***
Ryan walked in to his brother’s office without knocking.
“You son of a bitch,” Evan said, coming around the desk to confront his brother.
“I didn’t come here for a lecture.” He held up the envelope he’d found on his desk. “Where’s Bri? I need to talk to her.”
“You think I’d tell you, even if I did know?”
“Look, I’m not in the mood for-” Ryan clenched his jaw when Evan shoved him, causing him to stumble backwards.
“You think I give a shit about what kind of mood you’re in?” He shoved him once more for good measure before Ryan pushed back. “I knew Bri was too damn good for you.”
Zeroing in on his biggest insecurity hurt more than a punch would have. Ryan tried to convince himself that Evan was so cynical because of the blow life had dealt him recently, but it still hurt to know his brother thought so little of him. “You can believe what you want,” Ryan said. “Brianna’s the one I have to convince, not you.”
“It’s too late for that,” Evan said, re-claiming the big chair behind his desk.
His brother may look relaxed, but Ryan could tell by the tense set of his shoulders that he would be ready to lunge across his desk at the slightest provocation. “If you’re talkin’ about this…” He crushed the envelope in his fist and tossed it in the wastebasket next to the desk. “There’s no way I’m acceptin’ her resignation.”
“Too late, I already have.”
“You what?” Ryan shouted, closing in on him. “Are you crazy? What the hell were you thinkin’?”
“I could ask you the same question,” Evan said, refusing to blink. “What were you thinkin’ when you took some other woman to bed? I was with Erika almost six years and I never even thought about sleepin’ with anyone else. You and Bri haven’t even been a couple six days. You have your first fight and you head to the nearest strip joint.” He rolled his eyes. “That’s so typical of you. When are you gonna grow up and earn the trust of a woman like Brianna?”
Ryan hated to admit that his brother was right. If he was a different man, someone like Evan, people wouldn’t rush to judgement so quickly. But with Ryan, people naturally assumed he’d screwed up because making mistakes and begging forgiveness seemed to come naturally to him. Instead of trying to defend himself, Ryan decided to admit his failings and ask for his brother’s understanding. “Look, I know I’m not perfect. I’m not like you or dad or Josh or…” He started pacing as he struggled to find a way to make Evan understand how much this meant to him. Stopping mid-step, he turned to face Evan. “I didn’t do what she thinks I did, bro. I swear to you, I’m not lyin’ about this. I just need a chance to explain.”
Evan frowned, as though he was trying to decide whether he could believe the desperate appeal. “Why should I believe you?”
“Because you know how it feels to be where I am.” He curled his fingers around the back of the chair positioned in front of Evan’s desk. “You know you would give anything, everything, for one more chance to make things right with Erika. That’s all I’m askin’ for here, Ev. Just one more chance to make things right with the woman I love. Please, you gotta tell me how to find her. I called and stopped by her apartment, but she wasn’t there. Did she tell you where she was goin’ when she left here?”
Evan sighed and tossed the silver pen he’d been toying with. “Try her parents’ place. She said something about leavin’ the cat with them.”
Ryan’s heart started to beat harder and faster as he processed the implications. “What’re you talkin’ about? Where the hell did she go?”
“I don’t know. She said she needed to get away for a while.”
“A whil
e?” Ryan knew he was yelling loudly enough for the people in the outer office to hear, but he didn’t care. “What the hell does that mean? Is she gone for days, weeks, months…” His hands started to shake when he saw the look of pity cross his brother’s face. “Tell me the truth. Is she comin’ back?”
“I don’t know, Ry. Her parents should be able to tell you what her plans are.”
Ryan crossed the room and reached for the door handle.
“Ry?” Evan said, stopping him in his tracks.
“Yeah, what is it?”
“Good luck. I hope you two can work things out.”
“Does that mean you believe me?” Ryan asked, holding his breath. He didn’t know why, but it was important to him that his brother knew he would never cross certain lines.
“I believe you, but you’re right. It’s Brianna you have to convince.”
Chapter Eighteen
Ryan sat in front of the Cooper house wishing he could get the information he needed some other way. He knew he would have to face Josh sooner or later, but he would have liked a little more time before having to explain himself to Brianna’s father. Seeing the disappointment in Josh’s eyes would in many ways be worse than seeing the disappointment in his own father’s eyes. Luc had always expected him to screw up, but Josh always expected more from him.
It pained him to know he’d put himself in the position of having to beg forgiveness for a crime he hadn’t committed, but he’d gladly get down on his knees if that’s what it took to make Bri believe in him again.
He bounded up the stairs and raised his hand to ring the doorbell, but Josh was already there, in his face, with murderous intent in his eyes. “I guess you’ve talked to Bri,” Ryan said, anxious to plead his case. “Whatever she thinks she saw…”
“Get your ass in here,” Josh ground out, his words barely above a low hiss. “I oughta kick your ass for what you did, boy.”
It would have seemed like an empty threat coming from most men Josh’s age, but with his years of martial arts training, Ryan knew Josh could take down men twice his size and half his age with one hand tied behind his back. “You have every right to be angry…”
“Don’t patronize me,” Josh said, stalking through the house until he reached his main floor study.
Ryan had no choice but to follow, even though he knew Bri’s father was leading him to the room where he displayed his impressive gun collection. “You’re not thinkin’ about takin’ one of those bad boys out, are you?” he asked, hooking a thumb toward one of the locked glass cases.
“I might if I thought I could get away with it.” Josh reached for a cigar and left the open humidor on the desk, tossing the lighter on the desk beside it when he lit his cigar.
Ryan was surprised when Josh nodded his head toward the humidor, inviting him to join him. He hadn’t expected civility, especially after his chat with Evan. He declined the cigar with a shake of his head before sitting down on a leather guest chair. “I’m sorry,” Ryan said, deciding it was best to lead up to his explanation with an apology.
Josh drew from the cigar before setting it in a crystal ashtray on the desk. “Sorry you broke my little girl’s heart, sorry you lied to me, sorry you got caught, sorry you fell for someone else? What exactly are you sorry about?”
Ryan knew Josh had every right to demand answers, but he couldn’t think past finding out where Brianna may be. If she was leaving town, she could be at the airport by now, ready to board a plane in her haste to get as far away from him as possible. He couldn’t let her go without a fight.
Brianna’s cat, Coco, sauntered into the room as though he owned the place. He brushed against Ryan’s leg, demanding his attention. Ryan rubbed the cat under his chin, which always earned a contented purr. “Where’d your mistress go, buddy?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Josh said, grinding the cigar out in the ashtray.
Ryan risked a smile at the familiar action. Luc had been trying to sell Josh on the appeal of a good cigar with a glass of his favorite scotch for years, but Josh had never become the connoisseur his father was. “Why’d you light it if you didn’t want it?”
“It was that or a drink. I tried workin’ out after Bri left. Hell, even hittin’ the heavy bag didn’t help.”
“Not even when you pretended it was my head?” Ryan smirked, half-expecting Josh to lunge at him across the desk for having the nerve to bring levity to a situation that involved his daughter’s heartbreak. Thankfully, he just rolled his eyes.
“If it was that easy, I’d still be down there poundin’ the hell outta that thing.” Their eyes met and held for endless seconds before Josh finally said, “I can’t tell you how disappointed I am in you, Ryan.”
Those words cut Ryan to the quick, because Josh had never admonished him like that before. He’d lectured him plenty of times about the stupid choices he’d made, but he never told him he was disappointed in him.
“I’m sorry that I put myself in the position of givin’ you and Bri reason to doubt me.” The cat jumped in to his lap and he mindlessly stroked his soft fur. “I love her, Josh. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, I swear to you.”
Josh sat down in the leather chair behind his desk and said, “Maybe you’d better tell me about this woman.”
“She’s a waitress at Whiskey’s. Last night was the first time I met her…”
Josh leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. “Go on. I’m listenin’.”
“I didn’t get mixed up with her, and I don’t intend to.”
“Then why did Bri tell me-”
“Yeah, she walked in on us in bed together, but-”
“She what?” Josh roared, getting to his feet.
Ryan realized he’d said too much a moment too late. “Bri didn’t tell you she walked in on us, did she?” He squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he had the good sense to know when to keep his big mouth shut. “What did she tell you… exactly?”
“She told me she saw you with someone else. That’s it.” Josh paced back and forth, clenching his fists at his sides. “I can’t believe she walked in on the two of you in bed together. No wonder she was a wreck when she came by here earlier.”
“I need to set the record straight,” Ryan said quietly. “I didn’t have sex with that woman. I swear to you, I didn’t.”
Josh stopped pacing long enough to glare at him. “Let me get this straight. You were in bed with the woman, naked I presume, but you never slept with her. Is that what you’re tryin’ to tell me?”
Ryan set the cat down at his feet and stood to meet Josh, eye-to-eye. “You’ve known me my whole life. You’ve told me a dozen times you think of me as a son.”
“That was before…” Josh’s eyes shone and he muttered a curse. “I can’t believe you would do somethin’ like this. What the hell were you thinkin’?”
“I admit, gettin’ drunk and puttin’ myself in that position was stupid, but I didn’t have sex with her, Josh. You can ask her if you don’t believe me.” Josh didn’t respond, and Ryan was getting desperate. “I’ve never lied to you. Not the time we stole booze from your liquor cabinet or took your brand new truck out for a joy ride. Aiden and Evan were terrified to tell you the truth, but I came to you, looked you in the eye, and told you what we’d done. Remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.” Josh swept a hand over his face. “That’s why this is so damned frustratin’ for me, Ry. I’ve always seen somethin’ in you the rest of the world doesn’t get to see. I’ve told your old man a hundred times that he’s lucky to have you for a son… that he doesn’t give you enough credit.”
It humbled Ryan to know that Josh had gone to bat for him with his father. This is a man he would be proud to call his father-in-law, if only he could make Josh and Brianna believe that he was worthy of her love. “I appreciate that.” Ryan released a gusty sigh. “I would never, ever disrespect Bri that way, you gotta know that.”
Josh regarded him carefully before he responded. “You don’t know
how much I wanna believe that. I want you to be the man I always believed you were.”
“I am that man,” he said quietly. “I had a chance to forget my problems in another woman’s arms last night, but I didn’t. You know why?”
“No, but you better tell me, and it best be what I want to hear.”
Ryan could tell by the rigid set of Josh’s shoulders, he wasn’t ready to let go of his anger just yet. “Your daughter and I haven’t even been together yet…” Ryan tried to tamp down his embarrassment. Josh was the last person he wanted to talk to about his sex life, especially when it involved the man’s daughter, but he knew it was important he share the whole story if he expected to make up for the mess he’d made. “I can’t even imagine bein’ with anyone else.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, wishing he could sneak out of the room as freely as the cat had. “It’s been months since I’ve slept with anyone.”
Josh chuckled before coughing behind his hand to mask it. “You’re tryin’ to tell me you’ve abstained for months? Why do I find that hard to believe?”
Ryan shrugged. “It’s the truth. I haven’t been with anyone else, even when I could have been, because your daughter is the only woman I’ve wanted for a long time now.”
“Seriously?” Josh asked, his eyebrows raised. “Even before Bri knew how you felt about her, you weren’t hookin’ up with other women every now and then just to-”
“No, I wasn’t.” He sighed. “It didn’t feel right because those women weren’t her.” He started pacing the same path Josh had, needing to work off some excess energy. “She’s the one I want. The only one I want.”
“She said you two fought. What was that about?”
Ryan could tell by the tone of his voice that Josh’s resolve was softening. “She’s havin’ a hard time trustin’ me because of my track record with women.”
Josh sat down and folded one leg over the other. “Tell me something. Why Bri? You’ve been with dozens of women. What makes my daughter so special?”
“Like you have to ask?” Ryan asked, rolling his eyes. He knew that in Josh’s mind, his little princess could do no wrong.
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