I release a long sigh as memories of my childhood tear through my mind, and this time, a sense of comfort fills me, instead of pain.
“Ben has always been the wild one of the guys. Did he tell you that?” Alexa smiles.
“I’m not exactly surprised.”
“Are you nervous or excited about Ben’s new line of work?” Alexa asks a few minutes later.
I think about her question and stall by taking a sip of my drink. “Well, I’m both, I guess.”
Ben will be working with some of his friends again, which he seems pretty stoked about. Jake and Alexa, along with a few others, began a security company not too long ago. It’s apparently different than the kind Ben had previously run.
It’s more meaningful, Ben had said. He’ll be rescuing women from human traffickers, stopping terrorists, and working with the government as needed for special operations.
So, yeah, Ben is pumped.
Me? I just got him back, and so, I can’t imagine losing him again.
But I know in my heart I couldn’t ever be selfish and ask Ben to change who he is.
He is strong enough to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. But I’m strong enough to carry him when needed, too.
We make a good team.
“Jake will make sure he’s safe. I promise.” Alexa reaches over and pats my forearm.
“Connor, too,” Olivia says.
“Have you guys thought of a name for the agency yet?” I ask. “You can’t keep calling it The Agency.”
Alexa shrugs. “I don’t know. Having no name almost makes us seem even more covert and interesting.” She chuckles. “That, and the guys can’t seem to agree on one!”
I glance over at our men and catch Ben’s eyes from across the way; he shoots me a mischievous and lopsided smile.
He’s up to something.
“So, uh, when are you guys tying the knot?” I direct my attention to Ava first and then look at Alexa. They’re the only ones who haven’t walked down the aisle.
Ava and Aiden have been engaged for a while, but from what Ben told me, they haven’t made any actual wedding plans.
Kate and Michael, as well as Olivia and Connor, both have children. And at the rate Ben seems to be going—more like flying—I assume I’ll be the next to get pregnant. But we both want lots and lots of kids, and so, Ben thinks we should get a jump start.
“Aiden and I aren’t all that traditional, so we’re not in a rush,” Ava says.
Alexa finishes off her champagne, now taking the so-called floor. “We’ve been so bloody busy that we haven’t even had time to talk about it. But I get to fall asleep next to him every night and wake up with him every morning, and so I can’t complain.”
Olivia nudges Alexa in the arm. “Hey, the pastor’s still here. Why don’t you go for it now?”
Alexa chuckles. “Yeah, I think Jake would have a mini heart attack.”
“Nah, I’m betting he’d love it,” Kate says and checks her phone for the third time in the last five minutes. It’s her first time away from her baby, and so she’s been a nervous wreck.
I’ll be the same, I’m sure. I’ll probably be one of those crazy moms who implants some sort of tracking device in my kids to monitor them at all times.
Hell, who am I kidding? Ben will beat me to it.
“They must be ready.” Ava points to the dance floor.
“Oh.” Kate stands and grabs my hand, and I stare at her, confused.
“Ready for what?” I rise, and Kate ushers me to a chair that’s now positioned in the middle of the dance floor.
All five of our guys are standing side by side in front of the DJ, with their heads down and their hands tucked in their back pockets.
“What’s going on?” My eyes widen, and the moment I sit, the music starts . . . and so do the men. It takes me a minute to realize it’s Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars playing.
Ben’s in the center of the group, and these strong, tough men surprise the hell out of me by beginning to dance—Ben mouthing some of the lines from the song.
They loosen the bow ties around their necks, and Ben holds my gaze as he tosses his.
I tip my head back and laugh, watching in total awe as Ben, Michael, Aiden, Jake, and Connor begin a choreographed routine.
I have no clue how, or when, Ben managed to pull this together, but it doesn’t even matter.
The girls flank my sides, and they’re clapping and cheering them on.
A warmth creeps up my neck and into my cheeks as I watch my husband turn around and shake his ass.
Ben hates dancing in public, but he loves the hell out of me—that much is clear.
“How’d Ben get them to do this?” I ask Kate, and she lifts her shoulders and smirks.
She had to have helped. There’s no way these five guys came up with this dance on their own.
My heart races as I watch them continue to move—messing up some parts, and bumping into each other at others, which only makes it more ridiculously incredible and humorous.
And when the men stand in a line next to each other a few minutes later, they each crook a finger in our direction, beckoning for us to join them.
I rush to Ben as fast as possible, and he takes my breath away by lifting me up, nearly above his head.
His strong arms hold me up, and I’d swear he’s trying to pull off a move from Dirty Dancing, one of the movies I used to force him to watch with me when we were kids.
And so, I go with it and open my arms like I’m the female star of the movie.
Only, Ben doesn’t need to be Patrick Swayze.
I want him exactly as he is, forever and always.
He’ll always be the main lead and hero in my life . . . and I’m right where I belong.
I have a feeling our story has only just begun.
Bonus Scenes, Continued- Emails
Riley
* * *
To: WildClimber1986
From: AlabamaGirl86
Subject: You’re both gone
Ben,
* * *
Nate’s gone. Like sand. Or dust. Particles that float through the air. That’s Nate now. A pile of ashes inside an urn. It doesn’t make sense. I can’t handle it. I just can’t . . .
And you’re gone, too. Please, don’t be gone, too.
-Ri
* * *
To: WildClimber1986
From: AlabamaGirl86
Subject: How are you?
Ben,
* * *
I heard you’re doing well in the Marines. Your mom sent my mom a few pictures of you in your uniform. You look healthy. Strong.
I miss you. I was hoping we could talk.
Can we please talk? I know you can call – because you call your mom. Please call.
-Ri
* * *
To: WildClimber1986
From: AlabamaGirl86
Subject: It’s me again
I’m guessing you didn’t call because you’re mad at me. And I get it. I’m so sorry if I blamed you for his death. I never should’ve said what I did . . . or maybe it’s what I didn’t say.
You’re not to blame. And the kiss—that was an innocent mistake. Please call. I really need you. I’m falling apart over here. I just need to hear your voice.
-Ri
* * *
To: WildClimber1986
From: AlabamaGirl86
Subject: We both need you
* * *
If you won’t forgive me, I guess I understand, but Ralph is struggling. Maybe your mom told you, but I’m taking a year off from school so I can get my head together. Also, Ralph needs me. Maybe we need each other. It’d be nice if we had you in our lives, though.
* * *
Well, Mom said you were deployed yesterday. So, I don’t even know when you’ll see this message. But when you do, can you please call? Or even write back. I miss you.
* * *
Stay safe.
* * *
-Ri
* * *
To: WildClimber1986
From: AlabamaGirl86
Subject: Doctor Carpenter
I’ve been seeing a therapist to help me talk through things. And I’ve decided I’d like to become one. I feel a little better now that I know what I want to do with my life.
* * *
Well, I hope you’re okay. I heard about some Marines getting hurt in Afghanistan on the news. Talked to your mom, and she said it wasn’t you. Sorry if you knew them.
* * *
And I’m sorry again about how things ended between us.
* * *
I miss you. I miss Nate. I miss us.
* * *
-Future Dr. Carpenter
* * *
Ben
* * *
To: AlabamaGirl86
From: WildClimber1986
Subject: The Euphrates
* * *
I was knee-deep in the Euphrates yesterday with the smell of cordite all around me. The thunder of guns blasting round after round. Our camp came under attack. It’d been unexpected. Fortunately, the TEAMs guys were across the way at Camp Ramadi, and they helped us out. But I remember being in that water with my rifle in hand, my NVGs on (night-vision-goggles) . . . and all of a sudden I thought: if I die tonight, Riley will never know the truth.
* * *
I never think about dying. I never worry about whether I’ll leave this world. And so, it shook me up when it happened.
* * *
I finally manned up and read your emails. Of course, this message will probably sit in my outbox until I either delete it, or I get the balls to send it.
* * *
But I needed to tell you something. I needed to tell you how much I love you. I’ve been in love with you forever. I carry your picture around with me. You’re why I’m still alive today. You give me the strength to make it through each and every day.
* * *
I hope someday I can tell you in person – I hope someday I have the guts to see you again.
* * *
-Ben
* * *
To: AlabamaGirl86
From: WildClimber1986
Subject: Baseball
* * *
I did it. I’m a pitcher. I made it to the pros. You’re the first person I wanted to tell when I signed the deal.
* * *
I hope you’re doing well. It’s been forever. I still think about you. I’ll always think about you.
* * *
-Ben
* * *
To: NatesDad55
From: WildClimber1986
Subject: Hey
* * *
Hey, Ralph,
* * *
Just checking in. I almost did it. I almost called Riley. But it’s been ten years. How could she ever forgive me after 10yrs of silence? So, I chickened out.
* * *
Miss you, Old Man.
* * *
-Ben
* * *
To: WildClimber1986
From: NatesDad55
Subject: Some days…
* * *
Some days I think about driving out to see you just so I can kick your ass.
* * *
CALL RILEY! You won’t regret it. She’ll forgive you. I promise.
* * *
-Ralph
* * *
To: AlabamaGirl86
From: WildClimber1986
Subject: I’m an idiot
* * *
13yrs, 6mos, 5 days – since I’ve seen you.
Not that I’ve been counting . . .
* * *
I had a shit day today. I was sent to rescue someone from a drug cartel down in Arizona. I didn’t get there in time. I really hate failing. I hate when people die. HATE IT.
* * *
Every time someone dies I think about Nate. I think about you. I think about what an idiot I am for having left you.
* * *
I wish I could come home. I wish I could tell you how damn sorry I am. I wish so many things that will probably never come true. I still love you. I can’t seem to make it work with anyone in my life because you have my heart. I gave it to you when you were fourteen, you just didn’t know it.
* * *
How can I keep living without my heart, though?
* * *
-Ben
Music Playlist on Spotify
Author Note:
I hope you’ve enjoyed this story as much as I have writing it. I’m not sure if this book has meant so much to me because Ben’s based on a Marine I once knew - or because my brother used to climb (and free climb!), and my family was so nervous those 10+ years whenever he was on the cliffs.
* * *
Whether this is your first book of mine, or you’ve been with the Hidden Truths Series from the start, it’s bittersweet to say goodbye to this series - but you never know - these characters could show up again.
* * *
x Brittney
(P.S.- people ask how to say my last name & phonetically it sounds like: Sha-heen) ;)
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* * *
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The Final Goodbye Page 23