by S. H. Kolee
“Grant said his cousin and his father were always at odds with what he wanted to do and I guess transferring here is his way of rebelling,” Sarah revealed. She looked down at my outfit. “You should change too. What if you and his cousin hit it off, and then you guys get married and Grant and I get married? Then we’d be related!” Sarah squealed and jumped up and down.
I laughed indulgently, looking down at my outfit. My jeans and blue t-shirt with Oscar the Grouch wasn’t going to win me any beauty pageants, but the last thing I wanted to do was impress a guy. Men were distractions that I didn’t want during college. It was enough to have friends who I cared about. Besides, dating turned into relationships which was an intimacy that I wasn’t ready for. I couldn’t imagine having to explain to a boyfriend why I was crazy and had visions.
“You know I have no interest in dating right now. It’s enough keeping up with everyone else's love life. Besides, I thought our plan was to meet twin brothers in our late twenties and then get married.”
“Oh well,” Sarah shrugged. “We can always move up the timeline. And you’d impress in any outfit, so I guess it doesn’t matter.”
I rolled my eyes as I stirred the meat sauce. Sarah was always on me about so-and-so being interested in me and how I should take notice. It’s not that I was completely oblivious and I knew I was attractive enough. My Korean mother and Norwegian father had given me an exotic look that somehow also seemed girl next door. My long black hair and thin figure was from my mother, but my large brown eyes and pale complexion were compliments of my father. At five feet and five inches, I was neither tall nor short. Average. I figured myself pretty average in most respects and I was okay with that, especially since I wasn’t average in the one area that I desperately wanted to be.
Sarah went to her room to change and I walked into the living room to close the window that I had opened to air out Sarah’s latest culinary disaster. As I gripped the bottom sill of the window to push it closed, I shivered as a sudden chill went through my body as my gaze was suddenly transfixed on my reflection in the window. My heart started pumping faster as I felt an unnatural stillness. I stared into the reflection of my eyes, feeling as if I was in a trance.
“Hey,” yelled Sarah down the hall. “Can I borrow your perfume? I'm all out."
Sarah’s voice broke through the trance and I shook my head. I must be just feeling the effects of the cold night air drafting in through the window.
“Sure,” I replied as I closed the window, but I was unable to completely dismiss the feeling of foreboding.
**********
By the time Sarah had changed and come back out, I had mixed the spaghetti with the Bolognese sauce in a big bowl. I placed it on our small breakfast table that was in the corner of our living room, along with garlic bread and the salad Sarah had prepared.
“It smells great!” Sarah exclaimed. “Especially my salad,” she said with a wink.
“Of course,” I smirked “You cut some mean lettuce.”
Our doorbell rang and Sarah rushed over to the door to open it, revealing Jenny. She was clutching a bottle of wine as she walked in, bringing a gust of cold air in with her.
"Hey Jenny," greeted Sarah. "Right on time."
Jenny shuffled in, taking her coat off and laying it on the back of the couch. Jenny was a frequent visitor to our apartment so she made herself at home, plopping down on the couch.
"I will never get over these winters," grumbled Jenny. "This kind of cold is not normal."
Jenny was a native of Florida and even though this was her fourth winter at Maxwell University, she still faced every chilling day as an affront to humanity.
"Well, your refreshments will help us warm up," I said as she handed me the bottle of wine. "Do you want to start with a glass?"
"Absolutely," Jenny sighed, leaning back on the couch. "I had a killer day today. I think I totally failed my physics exam."
I laughed as I walked into the kitchen. "That's what you always say and you ace every exam," I scoffed, pouring out three glasses of wine.
"When are the boys getting here?" asked Jenny.
"They should be here any minute," replied Sarah. "Let me use the intercom."
With that, she stomped the floor with her foot. "That should do it."
I grinned. "Ah, the wonders of technology." I passed out the glasses of wine. "I'm not sure if I can take Marcus making moon faces at you all night, Jenny. Can't you cut the guy some slack and just go out with him already?"
Jenny spluttered from taking a sip of her wine. "He hasn't even asked me out! How can I go out with him if he's never asked me out?"
Sarah leaned on the arm of the couch. "Marcus is too afraid of rejection," she said. "He sees all the guys you go out with and doesn't want to be one of the masses."
"Geez, she's not a revolving door," I said. "One of these days he's going to have to suck it up and take a chance. Either that or stop staring at her non-stop. If I didn't like Marcus so much, he'd creep me out."
"He's not the only one making moon faces around here," Jenny said slyly, looking at Sarah out of the corner of her eye.
"Hey!" Sarah exclaimed. "Don't compare me to Marcus. At least I make my moves."
"Okay, children," I said clapping my hands, bringing everyone to order. "There will be no mooning today by anyone. Let's just have a nice relaxing dinner."
There was a knock at the door, breaking up the conversation. Sarah opened the door to reveal Marcus with his trademark shy smile.
"Hi Marcus," Sarah said. "Where's Grant?"
Jenny groaned, rolling her eyes as Sarah shot her a killer look.
"He'll be right up. He was just moving some stuff around for his cousin, but I didn't want to be late so I came up ahead."
Marcus sat down next to Jenny, but you could have fit an elephant in the space he left between them on the couch. "Hi Jenny," he said with a smile.
"Hey Marcus," she replied brightly. "How was your day?"
As Marcus, Jenny and Sarah started talking about classes and exams and all the other things that had happened that day, I walked back into the kitchen, taking a deep breath. I had made an effort to seem relaxed when joking in the living room, but I was feeling off. It was as if I was feeling extra sensitized to everything. I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest, the sound of the material of my shirt rubbing against itself as I put my hand to my forehead. I thought twice about the glass of wine in my hand and put it down. Ever since I had gotten that weird sensation at the window, I felt as though I couldn't take a full breath.
Get yourself together, I thought to myself. It's Friday night, you're going to have fun with your friends. You will not be weird, you will not freak out. You will be a normal girl if it kills you.
After my less than effective pep talk, I grabbed some plates from the cupboard as I heard a pounding on the front door, much louder than the polite knock Marcus had given.
"It's me, let me in," me yelled. Me was Grant.
As I heard the door open and introductions to Grant's cousin being passed around, I took a deep breath and steeled myself. I had worked hard to give myself a normal social life in the past three and a half years and had almost convinced myself that I could be like everyone else. Just because I had had a few visions didn't mean I was going to go back to being afflicted with them every night.
With that thought in mind, I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room to greet our newly arrived guests. Grant was standing by the couch talking to Sarah, who was leaning in closely to him. A guy, his cousin I suppose, had his back to me and was talking to Marcus and Jenny sitting on the couch. He was much taller than Grant. I would guess about six one, but he was more leanly muscled opposed to Grant's bulky physique.
"Hi Grant," I called out as I placed the stack of plates on the table. "Glad to see you finally made it considering how far you had to travel," I joked.
Grant smiled widely at me. "I had to pretty myself up for you girls. Caitlin, meet
my cousin, Simon."
His cousin turned around and my heart started to thud loudly in my chest. I heard a buzzing in my ears and a disconnected part of me wondered what it would feel like to faint. This couldn't be happening. The person I had watched die in my vision couldn't be Grant's cousin. But there was no mistaking his dark brown hair and brilliant blue eyes. I had seen those blue eyes glazed over with agony and fear.
I involuntarily took a step back as I shook my head. I vaguely realized that Simon was saying something to me but it sounded muffled and everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, including his words.
Get a grip, I hissed to myself in my head. Not now...not..now.
I took a deep breath and mentally put the walls up and forced myself to focus. Everyone was looking at me oddly and Sarah tilted her head, narrowing her gaze on me.
I laughed weakly. "Sorry, I think I breathed in too much smoke from the garlic bread we burned earlier." I took a step forward towards Grant's cousin. "Hi Simon, nice to meet you."
Simon came closer, holding out his hand. "Hi Caitlin, nice to meet you too. Thanks for having me over."
I hesitated and then clasped his hand in mine. "Sure. Any cousin of Grant's is a cousin of mine." I tried my best to smile at my half-hearted joke but I couldn't stop staring at Simon. He was very good looking, a "hottie" as Sarah would say. But I was staring at him for a totally different reason.
Simon smiled wider as he glanced down at our hands that were still clasped.
"Oh," I started and tried to tug my hand away but Simon held on more firmly.
"I don't think I want to think of you as a cousin," he smirked.
Great, at least maybe his arrogance would diminish my anxiety over having seen him in my vision.
I pulled my hand harder, succeeding this time in freeing my hand from his grasp. "Anyways, now that everyone's here we can get started. Sarah, can you get the guys some drinks? Everyone can help themselves. I just need to run to the bathroom."
I made a quick escape down the hall and closed the bathroom door behind me, turning on the faucet. I ran my wrists under the cold water, willing my pulse to slow down. I looked at myself in the mirror, grimacing at how pale my face was and how large and terrified my brown eyes looked.
"Calm down, Caitlin," I whispered to myself. "Just calm down. So what. You've seen him in a vision. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything."
I turned off the water, dried my wrists, and took a deep breath as I walked out of the bathroom with a smile pasted on my face. Everyone was milling around the table of food, heaping piles of spaghetti and salad onto their plates, chattering amongst themselves.
"Hey," Sarah whispered, pulling me aside into the kitchen, away from everyone else. She looked concerned and pulled me close. "Are you okay? You looked like you were going to keel over in there."
"Oh, I'm fine," I lied, trying to smile. "I really do think I just inhaled too much smoke earlier. That's what I get for living with Smokey the Bear."
"Ha, ha," Sarah said, rolling her eyes. Then her face lit up. "Oh my God, how cute is Simon! He is so hot. He's a senior too and he's looking for his own apartment to rent but who knows how long that'll take. So he'll probably be staying downstairs for a while. And did you see the way he looked at you?" She grabbed my hand and crooked my pinky with hers. "We're gonna be related, I tell you!"
I laughed as I felt some of my anxiety slip away. Leave it to Sarah to make me relax with her boy-crazy ways.
"Sarah, you think every guy has the hots for me. And he probably thinks I'm some weirdo that's never talked to a boy before, considering how out of it I was," I replied.
"Well, it's not my fault so many guys have the hots for you and you don't give them the time of day," Sarah frowned. She then shook her head and smiled, banishing her matchmaking thoughts. "C'mon, let's get out there!"
Sarah and I both made our way back into the living room. Jenny, Marcus and Grant sat on the couch, digging into their plates of food. I could see out of my peripheral that Simon was sitting on our recliner. As Sarah and I filled our own plates, I felt as though I could feel his steady gaze on me. Refusing to look in Simon's direction, I sat down on the floor next to the coffee table and placed my plate on top of it.
"Here," I heard his deep voice say. "Why don't you sit on the recliner. I can take the floor."
"Oh, no, no," I exclaimed, fluttering my hand in Simon's general direction. "You're the guest, go ahead. And the floor's comfortable."
"I insist," Simon replied. I felt a hand close around my upper arm. I could feel the warmth of his body as he towered over me, pulling me close as he pulled me up at the same time.
"Hey!" I exclaimed. "Hands off the merchandise!" Being hauled around like I was a piece of furniture didn't sit well with me. "Go sit down, I'm fine." I futilely pushed Simon's shoulder, trying to get him to release me.
Grant laughed. "Simon's always been the chivalrous one. You're not going to win this fight, Caitlin."
Jenny looked at me curiously, probably wondering why I was protesting so much. "Just sit in the chair, Caitlin. It's not every day we get a gentleman around here."
At her remark, I saw Marcus frown but I ignored it as I tried to get myself out of my predicament. I did not want Simon touching me. I had assumed his touch would make me tense and anxious, but I hadn't imagined that it would make me feel as though my body was on fire as well.
"Okay, okay!" I said, finally succeeding in pulling my arm out of Simon's grasp. "I'll sit in the damn chair."
I grabbed my plate and walked the few steps to the recliner and plopped myself down loudly to express my displeasure. To my horror, Simon sat down on the arm of the recliner, leaning back as he dug into his plate of food. I leaned in the other direction as far as I could without toppling over and dropping my plate.
"I thought you were sitting on the floor," I said crossly. "That's not the floor. You're crowding me."
Simon laughed. "There's plenty of room here. And it's the gentlemanly thing to do to stay close. What if you feel faint again from the smoke you breathed in earlier?"
Sarah had been watching this whole interchange with a contemplative look on her face. Her expression remained thoughtful as she pulled over a folding chair we had in case we had more guests than seats and opened it, sitting down. I kept my eyes on my plate and concentrated wholeheartedly on eating, as if my life depended on it. I knew I was overreacting and I felt idiotic, but I felt unable to control myself. And the lack of control was making me feel even more unsettled.
"So, Simon," Sarah said. "What made you transfer to Maxwell?"
Simon paused from twirling spaghetti onto his fork. "I was just tired of my old school and needed a change of pace. Also, Maxwell has a great music program which I'm switching my major to. And Grant's always going on and on about how great Maxwell is so I decided to try it out for myself."
"Yeah, but to come here from Yale?" I asked, almost accusatory, looking up. "Who does that?"
"I do," Simon said simply, looking down at me from his perch quizzically.
Simon's penetrating blue eyes made me flush. What was wrong with me? It wasn't his fault that I had seen him in one of my visions. If anything, it should make me more sympathetic towards him. But a part of me resented his existence, shattering the false sense of security and normalcy I had desperately grasped these past few years. His being here, appearing before my eyes, made me fear that I was going to go down the same path I had in high school. Where normalcy had been replaced with an overwhelming feeling that I was going crazy.
Sarah cleared her throat, breaking the tension. "Well, we're glad to have you here. Now you'll have to give us all the dirt on Grant."
Grant laughed and waved his hands in protest. "There's no dirt to tell. I've always been the model citizen that you see before you today."
Simon grinned. "I've got tons of ammunition against him. I'll save it for when I need it as leverage one of these days."
"Simon is going
to be joining our band since we're still looking for a replacement for Mike and Abe," Grant said.
Marcus and Grant were in a band called the Henchmen. Mike and Abe had also been in the band but they were a year ahead and had graduated last year. Marcus was the drummer and Grant was the bassist. Mike had been the guitarist and Abe the lead singer, but since their departure Marcus and Grant had been struggling to find someone to replace them. The Henchmen were wildly popular in Rochester, beyond just the students. They regularly played at a bar near campus called the East End, but since the departure of the two members, they had only played a few times when Mike and Abe had made the trip up from New Jersey and Pennsylvania, where they were from respectively.
"But don't you still need another person?" asked Jenny. She turned to look at Simon. "Do you sing or play the guitar?"
"He does both!" exclaimed Grant, answering for him. "That's why I'm so excited for him to be here. He can take over for both Mike and Abe and we can get started playing right away. We actually practiced playing together last summer and we've already jammed over at the East End a couple of times during the day. Joel is over the moon about it."
Joel was the owner of the East End and he was sorely missing the extra business that the Henchmen brought in. They were a fixture at the bar, bringing in all the fans, especially the screaming girls. The lack of their presence had really affected business. Joel loved the Henchmen so much - well, the money that they brought in - that he let them use the bar as a practice area during the day when it was closed.
"Oh, wow," Sarah said. "I can't wait to hear you guys. When's your first show?"
"Simon has caught up to speed so fast with all our songs that we're playing next weekend," Marcus replied. "We've even been practicing some songs that he's written too. This guy's a genius."
Simon grinned. "I'm talented in many ways, but I'm not sure I'd go that far. I've been writing for a while and I've been in a few bands but nothing that really stuck. I think Marcus, Grant and I are sounding really good together. And it doesn't hurt that Grant and I have been playing Rock Band for ages, so it's like we were already in a band together." He smirked at his last comment and turned his attention to me. "Maybe you can be our tambourine girl."