by Rose, Aubrey
"I know," she said. "I mean, I shouldn't... I'm not right for you..."
"It's not that," he said. "Whatever you're thinking, it's not that." He bent his head so that his forehead was pressed against hers, their noses touching slightly at the tip. "God, Julia, you're the most amazing person I've ever met."
Julia swallowed hard. His arm was still holding her tightly, and she couldn't get away. She placed a hand on his chest, her palm pressing his body back. She couldn't breathe. If only he would let her go.
"You don't have to—it's okay if you don't want me anymore. I understand." She didn't want him to be kind to her out of guilt. If he didn't want her, he just had to say so. Rejection was something she understood how to deal with. She didn't need his pity; she could survive without it.
"You don't understand."
"If you don't want me—"
"Julia, I don't just want you. I need you."
Julia lifted her head up in shock. It was a good thing that Damien had a hold of her around the waist; she had forgotten how to swim, and as he pressed his lips against hers, she forgot how to breathe.
The cold water swirled around them but all Julia knew was heat. Damien's touch was demanding, burning her through and through. His fingers gripped her hip and pulled her insistently toward him as he deepened the kiss. Fire licked through every nerve in her body so that not even the coolness of the lake could ease her wanting. The hard muscles of his chest were slick under her palms.
Their limbs intertwined as the kiss went on, and Damien's fingers ran through her hair. Without thinking, her legs wrapped around his waist, and she could feel him hard against her. It was the first time she'd ever wanted something so fully, so completely. When Damien pulled away and broke the kiss, their air between them seemed to crackle with energy, as though their attraction had an electrical power to it.
"Damien," she said. His eyes sparked with a fiery expression, and for a brief moment she thought that he was looking at her, could see her.
"I have to tell you something," he said. "Something about me. It's important."
"What?" She searched his eyes as though she would be able to find the answers there.
"It's just that...I don't know if you'll be able to understand." His voice broke, and Julia's heart swelled with sympathy. Whatever it was, he seemed to truly be hurt by it.
"Let's sit back up on the dock," she said, trying to lighten the mood. "I don't want to drown you before you can tell me whatever it is you have to tell me."
"Sure," he said, and before she could start to swim to shore he had grasped the wooden pillar and swung himself up onto the planks of the dock. He sat on the edge of the dock and reached a hand down.
"I'll swim around," Julia said, not wanting to pull him back in accidentally.
"Take my hand," Damien said, extending his arm farther.
Hesitantly, Julia reached up. His large hand grasped her around the wrist, and as he pulled her out of the water his other arm came down and scooped her up under the other arm. With an almost superhuman strength, he lifted her up as easily as if she weighed a hundred pounds and set her gently to sit on the dock next to him.
They sat dripping on the wood planks, the sun warm overhead. Julia's nerves were as frazzled as her hair. What could he possibly have to say to her? Damien leaned his head back to sun his upturned face. His dark hair stuck to his cheeks and his eyes were closed, but the seams of his scars shone brightly in the sunlight, and he sat up, clasping his hands in front of him.
"I haven't been honest with you," Damien said. Julia's heart sank.
"What do you mean?" she asked. She tried but could not keep her voice from quaking. She pulled her knees up onto the dock and hugged them tightly.
"There's something about me, a genetic condition," Damien said. He stammered as he spoke, a strange contrast to the easy confidence that he had shown all along. "Not many people have it, and it’s...it’s serious."
"What is it?" Julia asked. She swallowed hard. Her grandfather had spent the last few years of his life fighting cancer, and the toll it had taken on Granny Dee was enormous. Julia didn't know if she could let herself fall in love with someone if she knew it would end like that. Fear chilled her heart, and she shivered even in the hot sun.
"I'll show you," Damien said, "but the reason I'm telling you this is because I never thought I would find somebody like you. I've planned my life out according to what I thought was true, and now I don't know what I can do to change it."
"What do you mean?" Julia asked. Goosebumps rose on her skin.
"I'm engaged to someone who has the same condition," Damien said. "We're not in love, but—"
Engaged. Damien kept talking, but Julia could not hear his words. The sound that came out of her was halfway between a cry and a whimper. She scrambled to her feet, trying not to slip on the wet planks of the dock. Engaged. She had to get away. Had to leave. She felt so embarrassed, so taken in.
"Julia, wait, please—"
"No!" No, no, no! The cry that echoed through her mind came out of her as sobs as she gathered her clothes up to her chest. He couldn’t be with her.
"Julia, please let me explain!" Damien stood to face her.
"No, you don't need to explain," Julia said. He was just the same, after all, just the same as all the other guys who thought she would be a quick, easy lay. The guys who just wanted to play with her for a while before going back to someone they could take seriously.
"Julia, please—" he said, reaching out blindly.
"Don't touch me!" she cried out, backing away from him. "Don't—don't ever touch me again!" She turned to flee, wild with the agony of this revelation. How could he have broken her heart so carelessly?
"Don't leave," Damien said. He stumbled after her as she moved away from the lake, back to the trail, trying to put her shoes on without falling over. "Please, let’s talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Julia said. “You came here and flirted with me, kissed me, all while you’re engaged to someone else?”
“It’s just because of my condition—”
“I don’t care about the reason! You’re engaged!” Julia thought of the other woman, the one Damien had probably lied to before coming to spend time at the lake. Her heart broke for both of them.
"I'll call someone to come get you," Julia said, her voice cracking. He seemed so desperate. How could he be so cruel and seem so sincere? She felt as though her emotions, her judgment, had betrayed her just as surely as he had. "Just stay away from me!"
Tears streaming down her face, she turned to the path and screamed.
Standing directly in front of her on the trail, not twenty feet away, was a huge gray wolf.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Damien
Damien felt Julia's heart wrench as much as if it had been his own, and it gutted him. He had to be honest with her; he couldn't sense her feelings without a sense of guilt coming over him every time he remembered Katherine. But it was too much. How could he explain that he was a shifter, that he wasn't supposed to mate with humans. Her pain ripped through him in a black and red agony as she screamed at him to stay away from her, and the air he breathed felt too hot for his lungs, poisonous. His hands shook as she backed away. He could not lose her. Could not lose his mate. She was the one, the true one—
Upwind from the trail and so preoccupied with Julia, he did not smell the wolf until it was already in the open. He heard Julia's scream at the same time he smelled the wolf, and he ran forward without a thought, almost tripping over his own feet as he stepped between Julia and the wolf.
It was a shifter. Even in his human form Damien could smell the distinctive scent, sense the intelligence radiating from the animal. Another pack in these woods? How? Jordan had scouted the entire territory. Then the wolf growled and stepped forward, the sand crunching under its feet.
"Damien, no, get back," Julia whispered, tugging on his arm. He could feel her fear and he tried not to let the terror
overwhelm him as he stood there. He could not fight the wolf in human form; it would be suicide.
"Damien, please!" Julia said, and as she touched him he felt a stab of fright go through his heart. The shifter sensed it, too, and growled again.
"Let go," Damien said, shaking her hand off. "Julia, you need to leave."
"No—"
"Leave!" The wolf snarled at the sound of Damien's voice, and he could hear the claws digging into the sand.
"No, no!" Julia sobbed, and Damien turned toward her. He wished he could keep her from seeing, but he had no choice.
"I'm sorry you have to find out like this," he said.
The shift only took a second to happen, but the second felt like an eternity. His energy focused inside, on bringing out the wolf part of his being, Damien let the power take him over. His muscles changed, stretching and contracting, his bones snapping with a crackling sound into the new skeletal configuration. His snout stretched and pushed out his face as fur sprouted through his skin, feeling like a million pinpricks all over his body.
"Another shifter," the wolf growled. "Why are you here?"
As if from a distance, he heard Julia screaming, screaming, oh god he felt her screams shatter through his mind. He fought the terror back, putting up a separation between them. He could still sense her, but as he gained control over his wolf form he was able to distance himself from her emotions. The wolf was in front of him. That was the most important thing.
"My pack is traveling," Damien snarled, trying to seem intimidating. He hated to fight if he could avoid it. "Let us go through."
"You're blind," the shifter said. "You have no chance against me. And she is not part of your pack."
Damien sniffed. No other wolves were around. He might be able to take on one wolf, even if it was a large one. And from the deep sound of his voice, this wolf was a large one.
"You have no business with either of us," Damien said. His fur bristled.
"I'm here for the girl," the wolf said. "You should leave her alone."
"Why do you care?" Damien asked.
"Why do you want her?"
"She's my mate," Damien said, and at that moment, he knew that it was perfectly true.
The wolf snarled and snapped his jaws forward.
"You don't know what you're dealing with."
"I know I won't let you hurt her."
"Leave now, or die."
Claws scraped the sand, and Damien could visualize the wolf crouching down on his haunches. The soft intake of breath as the wolf readied himself to leap forward.
Damien crouched as well, readying himself in case the wolf lunged for Julia instead of for him. He had no chance of taking on the wolf head on, and no chance at running, never mind that he wouldn't leave Julia to be by herself. He stood perfectly still, every muscle in his body tensed. Already overpowered because of his blindness, his nose and ears were on high alert, and the adrenaline coursing through the veins of his body only heightened his awareness. He could hear each grain of sand compacted beneath the wolf's paws, each breath, and could tell that the wolf favored his right side. That was how he would attack.
"I don't want to kill you, blind man," the wolf said. Damien could sense the indecision in his growl, but also his overconfident sincerity. The wolf was telling the truth: he didn't want to kill Damien.
"Then turn and run," Damien said.
The wolf snarled and shifted his weight back, the last motion before a lunge. Damien braced himself and prepared to roll. Once they were grappling, he would have less disadvantage, but the first hit was crucial. He had to force the wolf into contact without being too severely injured in the process. The last real fight he had—well, he had lost his eyes.
The wolf crashed into Damien with a force of impact so great that at first Damien thought his ribs had cracked. But no, it was just the breath being knocked out of him. They rolled across the ground. Julia shrieked as they tumbled into a bush but Damien finally got a hold onto the other wolf's neck. The wolf twisted and kicked, and Damien felt the claws rip through his skin. He clenched his teeth hard, but the bite was not lethal, and he could not get a better hold without the other wolf getting loose. It was a precarious position to be in, and Damien felt himself start to lose his grip.
The other wolf shuffled backwards out of the bush, shaking hard. Damien's body whipped from side to side until he realized that there was no way to gain the upper hand with such a hold. On the next downward shake he let go and hit the ground, yelping as he rolled out. The other wolf lunged and bit him in the leg, and Damien howled in pain.
Fear. An overwhelming sense of fear rippled through Damien's being, and he froze on the ground. Then he realized that it was Julia, Julia watching him fight, watching him hurt. He opened himself up to her and felt the fear, but also love shining through. Then a sharp tearing pain brought his attention back to the wolf whose teeth were still firmly clamped into his leg. The wolf shook, and Damien went limp, bringing his leg up underneath him. He tensed his leg, getting ready to spring when the time was ready. There would be just a second's chance to get him, and Damien's strength was running out. He waited until he heard the other wolf inhale slightly harder, and knew that he was getting ready to release. He could not kill Damien by biting his leg, after all.
As the wolf let go to adjust his bite, Damien pushed off of his tensed leg and sprang upwards, feeling as if in slow motion the fur of the other wolf bristling against his own coat. He bit into the wolf's throat and knew from the bite that he had him. The other wolf screamed, a horrifying sound, and his legs kicked upwards. Damien could feel the claws scratching him through his fur but he did not care. Blood filled his mouth and he bit down harder, harder, until the wolf went limp. He could have killed him then, ripped out his throat. All of his brutal instinct urged him towards finishing the job.
A cry from Julia, though, stopped him. He released the unconscious wolf. Blood dripped from his jaws, and he resisted the urge to lick, adrenaline pumping through his system. He was ready to fight, ready to mate. The smell of blood filled his nostrils, and the sun was hot, too hot. He was dizzy, faint. He had to shift back now, or else—
The snaps of his body shifting back to human form were familiar, but as he wiped the blood out of his eyes he could hear someone crying. He was naked, his pants on the ground where he had left them when he shifted, and he was covered in blood. The wolf on the ground breathed shallowly, whimpering.
"Julia—"
He held out his hands toward here and heard her choke back sobs. Her footsteps retreated from him slowly, her crying muffled by her hands.
"Julia, please don't go—"
"What just happened?" Her voice snapped shut on the words, and he felt a wave of terror and confusion sweep through the air toward him. Her terror. He wanted to put his arms around her and comfort her, but no. How could he assuage her fears when the thing she was afraid of was him? Julia was scared of him; he was a monster.
The blood was sticky on his hands, and though he heard the other wolf still breathing, the thought of another's blood on him made him shudder.
"He'll be okay. I need to wash this off," he said, stumbling toward the water. Yes, water. He would be able to drink, to cool off. He would be able to forget. The steps toward the lake's edge took forever, and Julia followed him at a distance, the fear still coming off of her in intense bursts of emotion. He could almost see the fight now through her thoughts, the vision of two wolves floating through his mind. Two wolves snarling, biting, then blood, blood—
He dropped onto his knees into ankle-deep water at the lake's edge and splashed his face. When the blood finally stopped overpowering his sense of smell, he turned back to Julia.
"What the hell was that?" she asked.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Julia
Julia kept an eye on the wounded wolf, but it soon became apparent that the animal was too wounded to walk anywhere, let alone attack again. She thought it would die for certain.
&
nbsp; Keeping her attention half on the wolf, she followed Damien to the edge of the water and watched as he washed himself clean. The water around him turned pink with blood but that soon disappeared. Still he washed, splashing his hair with water, until there was no trace left. Questions thrashed through Julia's mind and she could not help but blurt out the first thing that came into her head when Damien turned to her, still naked.
""What the hell was that?"
"The fight?" Damien asked. She noticed now that his leg was bleeding, but he did not seem to care.
"Did I—was that real? Did I hallucinate that?" She half-hoped that she was crazy instead of...whatever that was.
"It was real," Damien said. "Can I have my swimsuit?"
Julia breathed steadily, walking back to where the suit had dropped from his body. She made sure to circle widely around the injured wolf, just in case. Damien waited patiently and held his hand out to take the swimsuit from her. She dropped it into his hand without letting their fingers touch. He pulled on the suit, unembarrassed, but when he turned to her, she saw the light flashing from his golden eyes.
"Who are you?" she asked. She'd been scared before, but now that Damien was staring directly at her, blindly, she was completely unnerved. "What are you?
"I told you, I have a genetic condition. I can shift...change into my other form," he said.
"Into a wolf."
"Yes."
"You're a werewolf." Julia couldn't believe this.
"Sort of," Damien said. "Yes. Not like in the stories."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I don't, like, eat humans. I don't shift when there's a full moon. Nothing like that."
"I'm going insane," Julia said. She sat down on the sandy shore of the lake, her head in her hands. Either she was crazy or Damien was. And she didn't want to think about either option seriously.
"You're not insane. I'm sorry." He walked over and sat next to her in the sand. Her eyes tracked his every movement and when he grazed her with his arm as he sat down, she flinched.