He tried without success to bring a picture of her to his mind. He knew her hair was dark and her eyes violet, but when he tried to recall her face all he could see was a laughing angel, her red-gold hair sparkling in the sunlight above her naked white shoulders. He bit out a curse. It was unnatural the way Allegra had crept into his thoughts, seeming to dominate them at all times. Nonetheless, he had promised to rid himself of Louise, and he was aware that he no longer desired her at all. Whatever his feelings had been for her, they had gone little deeper than the physical, he now realized.
He drew a piece of paper towards himself and picked up his pen, dipping it thoughtfully in the inkwell. "Dear Louisa," he began, and then sat a moment, staring at the page. She would surely be distraught when she received this. Louisa depended on him for so much, and he had promised not to abandon her. Hadn't she told him over and over again how much she loved him? A sense of guilt came over him, and then he pushed it aside. He would make sure she wanted for nothing, that she had enough money to keep her in luxury for the rest of her life. She had always known that he was married, after all.
He raised the pen again, and then hesitated as he tried to form sentences. Perhaps it would be best to tell her in person. He didn't relish the tears he was sure would follow, but he owed it to her to tell her face-to-face. But then he thought of the scene she might create, and hesitated. On rare occasions he had witnessed Louisa's temper, and while it had never been directed against him, it had been very unpleasant. Perhaps a note would be best.
As he hesitated, the pen hovering over the paper, there came a knock at the door. The butler stuck his head around the corner of the door.
"Your mother wishes to know if you will take tea with the ladies," he asked.
Adam stood up hastily, glad for the interruption. "Yes I will, Bates. As a matter of fact, I'll come with you right now." He left the room without a backward glance, the letter abandoned on his desk.
Allegra and Adam stayed home with Emily that evening, relaxing after their journey. Allegra felt a slight alleviation of her anxiety as Adam remained charming and attentive, and showed no sign of wishing to go out. And when it came time to retire, Adam went into his own bedroom, but soon there came a knock on the connecting door, and he joined her in her bed, staying until late the next morning. That afternoon he took her riding in the park, and all of London society was treated to the sight of the Duke and Duchess of Gravesmere, apparently very happy in each other's company. For different reasons both were reluctant to rejoin the social whirl and they stayed home again the next night, though Adam ventured out to his club for a few hours that evening. The laughter and curiosity he was greeted with made him long for Allegra's presence, and he soon returned to her side, somewhat startled himself by this sudden domesticity.
The next evening there was a grand ball, and Emily asked Adam and Allegra to accompany her. Adam grimaced, but agreed, and a few hours later he stood waiting in the hallway for the appearance of his wife. He was slightly uncomfortable in his finery; a week of wearing only riding clothes had made him unused to the discomfort of town satins and laces. He paced back and forth, unwilling to admit to a sense of nervousness about the approaching festivities. Allegra's many cavaliers would surely be present, and he would have to but the best possible face on it, but the thought of sharing her made him grind his teeth. He felt a sudden urge to run upstairs and lock the two of them in her boudoir, but he knew it would be foolish of him. Eventually, Society must be faced.
He looked up to see Allegra standing at the top of the stairs, one dainty hand resting on the railing. She was dressed all in icy blue, with an underskirt shot with silver and diamonds sparkling on her wrists and in her powdered hair. He stopped, transfixed to see the hoyden from Gravesmere transformed into a porcelain doll, and then a surge of lust gripped him as her beauty washed over him. No matter how she looked, he realized, he wanted her. He stepped forward and held out his hand.
Allegra had been watching him doubtfully, wondering if this elegant stranger was indeed her warm, sensual husband. But when he smiled and beckoned her, an answering twinkle appeared in her eye and she ran down the stairs, ignoring her elegant gown. She took a tiny hop at the next to last stair and landed safe in the circle of his arms, a laugh bubbling out of her.
"I didn't recognize you at first," she said reproachfully. "You look like a duke."
"And you look very much the duchess," he responded. "I thought perhaps you expected me to bow to you."
Allegra wrinkled her nose. "I'd much rather you kissed me."
Adam obeyed her request with alacrity, and her response was eager. The unbidden questions as to whether or not she was wearing drawers under her elegant gown sprang into his mind. With a determined effort he held her away from her again, his arms gripping her shoulders tightly. "We won't get out of the house if you keep doing that."
"We could stay home," purred Allegra, trying to move closer.
"Mother will be disappointed if we don't go," said Adam, closing his eyes against her allure. He could feel her heat, even at a distance, and his body responded instinctively.
"Oh." Allegra made a face. "You're right. I wouldn't want to let Mama down."
"Exactly. And when we get home tonight we'll be all the more eager for the wait." Adam raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.
"Now you'll have me thinking wicked thoughts all evening," whispered Allegra. ""Tis most unfair."
Adam smiled down at her warmly as his mother came down the stairs to join them, promise in his eyes.
The Gravesmeres arrived at the ball and were greeted ecstatically both by their friends and the merely curious, all eager to know if the stories already circling about their newfound happiness were true. Allegra was immediately besieged by a crowd of young gentlemen, all begging to dance with her, and she gave Adam a comical look over their heads. To her relief he didn't seem angry, but merely smiled at her, his eyes resting meaningfully on her face. She flushed as she sensed his thoughts, and turned back to her beaux, her hands shaking slightly. She wondered how she could ever have thought herself a grown woman before this past week. All her flirtations seemed like the hollowest amusement now.
Adam allowed himself to be borne off to the card room by his friends, certain that in a little time his wife would be more approachable and he could secure a dance. To his relief he felt no real jealousy towards the men clamoring around her; the look on her face had told him that she was thinking only of him. He felt quite secure in the bond he now shared with Allegra.
Allegra's dance card was soon full, and she proceeded to enjoy herself to the fullest, knowing that Adam would be there at the end of the evening. During a minuet, her partner stepped on her petticoat, producing a telltale ripping sound. He apologized profusely, and she waved his concern away, but after the dance she retreated to the antechamber reserved for the use of ladies to repair such damage as the dancing might make to their paint, coiffures, or clothing. It was cool and quiet within, for Allegra was the only occupant, and she found herself welcoming the solitude as she struggled to locate the errant flounce and produce a makeshift repair. Her work done, Allegra remained seated for a few moments, fanning herself.
She soon regretted it however, when Louisa Manning swept in. Allegra, mindful for once of the privileges of a duchess, ignored her, tilting her chin slightly and staring fixedly at the opposite wall. Louisa paused, startled, and stared hard at Allegra, a sense of horror growing inside her. If the Duchess of Gravesmere was in London, so too must be the duke, and he had yet to contact her.
"Good evening, Your Grace," she said.
Allegra inclined her head frostily, but didn’t answer.
Angry color rose in Lady Manning's cheeks. How dare this interloper ignore her?
"Are you enjoying the dancing?" inquired Louisa.
Allegra realized that she would be forced to talk to this intrusive woman. "It's pleasant enough," she observed coldly.
"Adam always was a delightful dan
cer," continued Louisa. "Though perhaps you have not danced with him as often as I."
"Perhaps not," agreed Allegra. "Adam and I share a home, and do many things in our day besides dance."
Lady Manning felt her anger grow, and even stronger than her anger was her fear. She didn't know why Adam hadn't been to Half Moon Street since his return, but she suspected that this beautiful young woman had something to do with it. Louisa's heart was not particularly engaged by Adam, but securing him as her protector had been a feather in her cap, and she needed him to support her lifestyle. She still had not given up hope of becoming the mistress of Gravesmere House, and would not allow a mere child to get the better of her.
"Ah, yes," she said. "I believe you also shop and gallop in the Park. Not to mention your numerous beaux. I am sure your day is far too busy to dance or do anything at all with your husband."
Allegra rose and faced her rival. She would not listen to such effrontery from a person of Louisa's stature.
"What I do with my husband is surely not your concern, ma'am. He is my husband, after all."
"I have been his wife in all but name for years, while he is your husband in name only," Louisa spit out.
"Ah yes," drawled Allegra, "I have heard quite a lot about your liaison with His Grace, as vulgar as the gossip is. However, I fancy that you will find it rather rare for members of the house of Gravesmere to actually wed their youthful follies--or even their not so youthful ones." She stared pointedly at Louisa's countenance.
Louisa's hand flew to her cheeks. She admitted to twenty-seven years, but she had just passed her thirty-first birthday and she was afraid that even the judicious use of powder and patch would soon be unable to render invisible the tiny lines which were beginning to emerge.
"Possession is nine-tenths of the law, Your Grace," Louisa rejoined, regaining her composure.
"Since the one-tenth of Gravesmere which I possess includes his name and fortune, Lady Manning, I believe that it is possible that I have no need of the rest of him. After all, 'tis very unfashionable to love one's husband."
"There are always annulments, Your Grace," remarked Louisa.
"Indeed there are, Lady Manning. However, I believe that it is usual for annulments to be granted for cause. And I can promise you that there is no cause." Allegra turned her blue eyes, now with a hint of steel in them, directly at Louisa, and there was a long pause. "I see that you understand me."
Louisa's jaw clenched. She was beyond distressed by Allegra's words and her thoughts swarmed chaotically. If Adam had consummated the marriage, her hopes might be in ruins. But surely after only one short week they must still be uncertain of each other? If Louisa could not be the Duchess of Gravesmere, she might yet retain her hold on the duke's heart and financial resources. And if Allegra could be led into doing something foolish, a divorce might still be a possibility.
She drew in a deep breath and tried to appear unconcerned. "But of course, Your Grace. Adam has indicated to me that the marriage has, er, dynastic implications. But a man seeks pleasure in his bed too, and obviously Adam expects rather more from a woman than a child like you can provide. He told me as much just yesterday."
Louisa watched as Allegra's eyes widened. The silly girl actually cares for him, she thought triumphantly. How vulnerable that will make her. She seized on her advantage. "You are very pretty, to be sure, but prettiness is not experience. I provide him with so much that you cannot, he assures me."
Allegra stiffened, and stepped back involuntarily. She fought to retain her poise as she felt her newfound happiness shrivel inside her. Adam had discussed her with his mistress. No doubt they had enjoyed a few minutes of laughter at her expense. Had Adam only bedded his wife to provide an heir? He had seemed so pleased with her, and had returned every night. But perhaps she was just a diversion while Louisa was unavailable. Doubtless her naiveté had allowed her to read rather more into his actions than he had intended. And he had lied yesterday, saying he was going to his club, when he was really dallying with his mistress, snickering at her behind her back. Allegra felt a fool.
Louisa smiled to see the duchess clearly dismayed by her last comment. So things were perhaps not gone so far as all that. This silly child obviously hungered for her husband's love; if she could convince her that Adam thought of his wife solely as a dynastic tool, then Allegra might be sufficiently hurt and embarrassed to reject him.
"But of course you don't expect more than that from your husband, do you?" she persisted. "After all, it would be most unfashionable, as you say."
Allegra pulled herself together. Whatever her feelings, she must preserve her dignity in front of Louisa. She fluttered her fan.
"As I said, my expectations of my husband are of no concern to you, Lady Manning. If you had any notion at all of good taste, you would not be attempting to discuss them with me. I bid you good evening."
Chapter 15
Vile Suspicion
Allegra walked from the room slowly, but once outside, she fled to the terrace, seeking solitude. The night air felt cool on her flushed cheeks, but it did nothing for her agitated mind or inflamed temper. Adam had deceived her, and she had been so foolish as to give in to him. Because she had wished to believe that he cared for her, she had misread his intentions and feelings. She was nothing more to him than a wife he was saddled with, and his view of her was solely as a breeder for his children. He looked elsewhere for love and for pleasure. She put her hands to her temples. Surely at Gravesmere Adam had seemed happy enough with her? But of course, Lady Manning had not been there. Now that they were returned to London, Adam need no longer get companionship of that sort from his wife. He had charmed her merely to make his life easier, to keep her quiet while he went to his mistress for pleasure and to herself for children.
Allegra bit her lip. Her anguish was turning to anger. It was unutterably cruel of him to use her so, and even more unkind of him to discuss her with his mistress. She had come to think Adam a kind and thoughtful man, but now it was obvious that he was not merely thoughtless, but also heard-hearted, and deceptive. She would not allow herself to be used so. Adam would learn that she was made of sterner stuff than he had imagined.
A shaft of light fell across the garden as the curtains behind her parted, and she felt rather than saw that Adam had joined her on the terrace. She heard his soft footsteps behind her, and then his hands reached out from behind, caressing her shoulders. Her knees weakened for a moment at the memories his touch invoked, and then she steeled herself. She would not allow him to humiliate her again. She could control the needs of her treacherous body.
"There you are, my dear," he said. "I've been looking for you. I'd like to dance with my wife tonight, if your admirers can spare you."
Allegra turned in his grip and looked up at him, and the warmth on his face made her even angrier. How dare he, she wondered. How dare he come to her with a smile and a compliment, pretending to be fond of her, when just short hours ago he had spoken to Louisa of her failures as a wife? All her sorrow left her, and it was replaced with a cold core of fury.
She disengaged her hand from her husband's and fluttered her fan.
"Why, how impolite of you, Adam. Would you have me break my promise to another gentleman to dance with my husband?"
Adam laughed. "I would indeed. I would share your beauty with no one, if the world were mind to command."
"Indeed?" said Allegra languidly, drawing the word out to great length. "I fear you do not command the world, Your Grace, and you will have to share me with Society. I believe Sir James Bathby awaits me. I must not keep him waiting." She moved back into the ballroom rapidly, her skirts swirling about her.
"Allegra!" called Adam, but she was already gone. He looked after her, perplexed, and stalked back into the ballroom, standing in the door and watching bemusedly as his wife smiled charmingly on her dance partner. Across the room, Louisa waited, a tight smile on her lips.
Allegra saw that Adam was watching her, and d
ecided it was time to teach her husband that, if he did not find her desirable, other men would. She laid her hand on Sir James' arm. "Sir James, I find I am quite weary. Perhaps we could abandon this dance and obtain some fresh air? I would prefer to speak with you than dance with you, I feel."
Sir James was flattered. He had long been an admirer of the beautiful duchess, but had never found her anxious to be alone with him before. He abandoned the dance floor with alacrity, tucking her hand through his arm, and stopping only to procure her a glass of lemonade before leading her out to the gardens.
"Why, I'm honored that you would care to stroll with me, Your Grace," he said.
Allegra gave him an encouraging look. "Sir James, any woman would be delighted to take a turn in the gardens with you. You are a most elegant gentleman."
Sir James preened under her flattery. "I'm touched that you think so. I had no notion you had even noticed my poor affection for you, as you are always the object of so many men's attentions."
"And how could I not notice you?" said Allegra. She was eager to show Sir James that he might be somewhat bolder. "You are surely one of the most charming gentlemen in London."
"I didn't know you were so fond of me, Your Grace."
Allegra laughed flirtatiously. "Why, I've been too shy to let you know, sir. But tonight I find that I am quite courageous."
"And I am pleased that you have found the courage to tell me. It is a great happiness to me to know that I bask in the sunshine of your approval."
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