by Lyra Shanti
“Never leave me!” she cried out as he kissed her now exposed breasts.
“Never!” he yelped as he pulled off the rest of her dress.
Irix then straddled him and grabbed off the bronze-colored vest and furry pants he always traveled in, which had become like his second-skin.
“You’re mine and only mine!” she growled as she dug her claws into his chest.
Whoa! he silently reacted. Who is this woman? She’s Srah, and yet, this past life of hers is so… fiery!
Loving every second of her passion, Axis roared as he gently clawed at her thighs. Wildly hungry and about to enter inside her, he suddenly heard a stern voice say, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Confused, Axis looked toward the door, but there was no one there. “Did you hear that?” he asked.
“Huh?” she replied softly. “I didn’t hear anything. Don’t be worried, we’re alone.”
Axis shook it off and tried his best to feel the moment once again. He hardened, then pushed inside. It was instant ecstasy, though he was determined to hold back for as long as he could. Rocking her back and forth, Axis felt waves of pleasure as he made love to the past incarnation of Srah.
“Oh, my one and only wife! How I adore you!” he moaned. In return, she arched her back and gave a high-pitched squeal.
Once again, he heard the voice, but angrier. “Axis, remember, you are not of this time! Be careful what you do!”
Irix didn’t seem to hear it as she exploded with pleasure. She then looked down at him and smiled with tears in her eyes. Not wanting to ruin the moment, Axis smiled in return and held her sides.
“You can give me a child if you want, my love,” she softly told him. “Please, don’t hold back. I know my father was against it when you were Xam, but I refuse to do as he wishes. He is a hypocrite about the matter, if you ask me, and I honestly don’t care if we are siblings… or if you have Deiusian blood, I-”
“Wait… if I what?” said Axis, confused.
“Well, Xam was my half-brother, as you probably know.”
“No, actually, I didn’t know,” he replied, becoming less excited as they spoke.
“I’m surprised our story isn’t legendary by your time. I’m also surprised you can’t remember your past,” she said with a knotted brow. “Most of us can use our deep memory by the time we reach adulthood.”
Noticing his loss of enthusiasm, she rolled over and lay beside him. “Anyway, yes,” she continued, “Xam is Siya and Adin’s child, whereas I am from Siya and her older brother, my father, Raxas. I used to be embarrassed about being the result of their union, but I have since realized that such passions are the unstoppable force of nature. We cannot fight or control such urges, and our bloodline will not be spoiled or stopped. There will always be a Sarax in the universe; you are living proof of that.”
Axis sighed, trying to take everything into his brain. “I don’t think your father wants me to make a child with you. I’m pretty sure I heard his voice in my head when we were making love.”
“What?” she said, appalled. “How dare he? He has no right to intervene, yet again! I swear, I’m going to rip his wings off! His constant badgering is exactly why Xam left and possibly died!”
Axis stroked Irix’s shoulder and said, “It’s alright, my love. I’m here now.”
“But for how long?” she replied sadly.
Axis held her to him and said, “I’m not leaving anytime soon, I promise. I barely understand any of this, but… I feel like I was meant to come here… to you… to this time. I will not leave until Xam comes back, or until I find out what happened to him. I feel I owe that much to you.”
Unable to stop herself, Irix cried into his golden-haired chest. “Please,” she muttered in between tears, “don’t let my father scare you off this time. Please give me a child, my Xam!”
He would have corrected her that his name is Axis now, but he felt she was too sensitive at the moment. He simply let her cry while he held her close.
After she was done shedding her tears, she looked at him with glistening yellow-green eyes and said, “I love you so much. I always will.”
Axis gulped. He knew he was getting too attached, and it worried him. What happens if I do give a child to her? he wondered. Would I create a paradox? Would I forget how to be myself? Would Srah forget me? Would I unknowingly change everything? What about our kids from my time? Would poor Rax and Thali cease to exist?!”
Panicked, but trying not to show it, Axis held Irix to him and quietly whispered, “I love you too, and I will always be with you, no matter what time we live in or which bodies we are using.”
She held him tight and Axis’ panic began to subside.
I am sorry, Irix, he thought while looking at a painting of a black and purple-winged Sarax, which hung on the bedroom wall, I can’t risk giving you a child just yet. But I will help you find out what happened to my past self. Xam can’t be dead. He has to be out there somewhere… right?
Staring at the imposing black Sarax who was depicted on its hind legs, blowing some kind of icy blue fire, Axis grew desperately sleepy, and soon, lost consciousness.
He found himself deep in a dream, looking for Xam in the vast darkness of space.
“Xam?” he asked the void of time. “Xam! Your wife needs you!”
There was no response. The only thing he heard was a faint hum coming from his own soul.
Am I really Xam reborn? he thought. Was I truly him? How can I know for certain?
Just then, he saw a red light coming from a star in the distance. It flew fast and appeared like a red, glowing ball. The red ball of energy then changed quickly into a red Sarax. It was Siya!
“Siya!” Axis excitedly blurted. “You’ve come to help me!”
She changed into a Sirini, then raised her brow, shaking her head. “Well,” she replied, “that depends on you, my impatient boy.”
“Huh?” said Axis.
“Why do you never listen to me?” she asked, taking his hand. “Never mind. Just come with me and listen to what I have to tell you.”
Feeling like a scolded child, he wanted to say, “Yes, Mother,” but kept it back. She wasn’t really his mother… or was she?
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked as he flew beside her.
She smirked and rolled her eyes. Axis looked around and saw their environment changing into a blurry prism of colored lights.
“Do you see this?” she asked while still flying with his hand in hers.
“See what?” said Axis.
“The colors of time.”
“Yes, it’s beautiful,” he replied.
“Yes,” she said while turning to him, which stopped their flight, giving Axis the feeling of being inside a timeless bubble of plasma, “the energy of life is radiantly beautiful, but it is also a great responsibility. Believe me, my son, the flow of time can be quite the burden for those of us who travel outside of our own time-lines, but it is also surprisingly addictive. At first, you may feel displaced - sick even. But then, you will gradually feel as though you are invincible, infinite, and above the rules. However, believe me when I say that there are indeed rules that you must follow… especially if you are to bend time and space.”
Axis nodded and said, “I… didn’t mean to travel here though. It just… happened.”
She smirked and replied, “Nothing just happens without us willing it. You must learn that truth, and accept it.”
“I guess…” he muttered as he looked away from her piercing, flame-colored eyes.
“Xam…” she addressed him, “look at me.”
He reluctantly looked at her and said, “I’m not Xam. I am Axis.”
“No matter your name, you are my son. I knew you as Xam when I last saw you, so that is what I will call you. I am sure I will know you when you are Axis as well, but since you forced reincarnation on yourself, I suppose it feels unnatural to call you anything other than Xam.”
“I forced rei
ncarnation? What?!” Frustrated, he folded his arms and blurted, “I don’t understand any of this! Where are we right now? Am I still asleep? If this is a dream, why does it feel so real?” On the verge of tears, he wanted to fly far away, back to his own time, back to Srah and his children on Sirin.
“My dear boy,” she soothingly whispered as she rested her hand on his shoulder, “you are dreaming, but you are Sarax; everything is real to us. Awake or asleep, it is all reality for us. Don’t you see?”
“No! It doesn’t feel right!” he shouted, pulling away from her touch. “Are you my mother? I mean, were you my mother when I was Xam? Were you and Adin my parents? If you are, why did Raxas call me his grandson? And who are my parents now? What do you mean I forced reincarnation? I deserve an explanation! Tell me, Mother! Please!”
“Shh, calm yourself,” she replied, trying to hold him.
“No, I can’t until I know what is happening to me!”
“Alright, but panicking is no good, especially when inside the plasma of your own mind. Just focus on my eyes, my son. Think of something simple and true - your name, perhaps. Yes, think of your name being Axis. Say to yourself that your name is Axis, and you know who you are and where you are from.”
“But I don’t!”
“Stop it, Son, you’re going to wake up confused and you might throw yourself out of time again. You need to learn control. Believe me, panicking does not help you.”
Realizing that Siya was right, he asked, “What can I do to stop feeling this way, Mother? I’m sorry. Please, teach me.”
She flew to him, wrapping her strong arms around his shoulders, giving him warmth and strength. The feeling of her was extremely familiar to Axis, and sudden memories flooded his mind. He saw her teaching a young Xam how to swim through the air with his wings and how to sing to the stars. He then saw Adin smiling at him.
“Father…” he whispered to his memory.
“You see Adin in your mind?” asked Siya.
“Yes… and I see you too. I remember all the things you taught me, and how eager I was to please my father, and to help him with enlightening his people on Deius. I wish I could have helped him more somehow. Oh, Mother… what am I doing here?”
She sighed and held him close. “My beautiful, courageous boy… you are here because you willed it so. Like your father, you have the inner strength of the tallest mountain. You must learn to balance that strong will with an equal amount of patience and love. When you can do that, nothing will stop you, and you will help your father achieve his greatest of goals.”
“And what is that?” he asked as he calmed down.
Siya smiled and looked at him with her fiery eyes. “To balance the stars,” she impishly replied.
“Huh?”
Siya laughed and said, “You will find out soon enough in the time you come from. Until then, I can only guide you in your dreams.”
“Why only in my dreams, Mother?”
“Because I have physically passed in the time you are in now. I couldn’t take the pain of losing Adin, and then you. I went searching through time for you, but in the process, I fell into the black hole of death. It is alright, though, because I have found you. Even if I am only a spirit right now, I know I will be physically with you once more. All you have to do is remember me… and I will be there.”
“Oh, Mother!” yelped Axis as he grabbed her. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to die! I didn’t mean to make you die too!”
“My sweet, bold, impatient boy... don’t be silly, you didn’t make me do anything. And I am still with you. I always will be, no matter the body I am using. Look for me in your time… I am sure I am there, reborn, like you have been.”
“But… I don’t think you’re in my time, Mother. I’d remember you!”
“Looks can be deceiving, Son. However, I am sure we will find each other again. Until then, I will give you courage in your dreams.”
Axis nodded, tearful, but happy. He looked around him and saw that the universe seemed like a giant rainbow of color. He wondered why he had never seen it that way before.
“Mother?” he asked.
“Yes?”
“Is being calm the key to finding truth?”
“Yes, it is, my brave boy. Remember how to center yourself, and you will always find the truth. That is what your father learned in his time as a mortal. It is with that knowledge he plans to help the rest of the mortals in his quest to balance the galaxy’s plasma, ultimately so that we, Sarax, can return home again.”
“Home?”
“To the physical worlds of this universe.”
“There are many more of us out there somewhere, isn’t there, Mother?”
“Yes, my son, there are thousands of Sarax… here and there… in the many folds of space.”
“Are they in hiding?”
“Yes.”
“Because of the lack of plasma?”
“Well, plasma is being drained, yes, but that is not all. A long time ago, we were considered to be Gods by the mortals, but increasingly, as time went on, they saw us as monsters. Raxas and I had faith in the mortals, so we stayed behind when many others left for other galaxies or universes. Your father was the bravest of us all, for he chose to be reborn as a mortal, so that he may enlighten them with his inner Sarax wisdom.”
“My father? You mean Adin? He was a Sarax once?”
“His soul still is, if you ask me,” she replied with a grin, “but yes, in his past lives, he has been Sarax many times. He was once called The Black Sarax of Memory and he was my hero, and my deepest love.”
“But he loves Ona now. She’s not you, is she, Mother?”
Siya smirked and said, “No, the woman you speak of is the woman I knew as Sri. Your father has chosen his mortal companion, which makes sense. When he became mortal, he made his choice, and it was probably for the best. We must all move on, I suppose.”
Axis felt bad for his mother, but he also trusted his father’s choices. “So… as a mortal, he wants to balance the universe? How will he do it, Mother?”
Siya grinned and said, “Ask your uncle about Adin’s path. I know he doesn’t want to tell you, but ask him nonetheless. He will explain about time… and about... our mother.”
“Huh?” said Axis, confused. “Your mother?”
“Yes… everything depends on you to help her, my son. She is very old, and very powerful, but she is unbalanced and in great pain. It is your destiny to help her, even though Raxas wishes it wasn’t. If it were up to him, he’d just hide on top a mountain somewhere and wish his worries away. You must tell him what I have said. Tell him you are Adin’s heir, and it is your path to help your grandmother.”
“But… who is my grandmother?”
As Siya looked around, they both saw the light of the sun piercing through their rainbow-colored universe. “I will tell you, but you must remember when you wake.”
“I will, I promise!”
“Alright, my brave son. If nothing else, remember her name: Osha.”
After that, Siya disappeared into a bright stream of golden light.
“Mother!” yelped Axis as he woke.
Confused, he looked around, still half-asleep. Realizing he was still in bed with Irix, he saw the light of the sun peeking through their window as he struggled to fully awaken.
What did I just dream? he pondered, groggily. I remember Siya… and she was my mother. I remember her talking about my path… and I think she said something about Osha. But… who or what is Osha?
After rubbing his eyes, he felt compelled to look over at the painting of the black Sarax.
“Father?” he thought. “Is that you?”
Chapter 14: Reflection
It was cold and dim when he woke, and all he could taste in his dry mouth was the brine of the sea. Still sleepy, Zin rubbed his eyes as he struggled to see where he was; it was a sterile, white room with pictures on the walls of various Ohrians holding liquid vials, herbs, and flowers. Half-naked and sh
ivering, Zin sat up on the white-colored bed he had been sleeping in. “Where the hell am I?” he whispered in the darkened room.
“Zin!” shouted Raven as she ran to his side. “You’re awake!”
Elated, Zin grabbed her tight and kissed her rosy lips. “My love!” he said in between their ecstatic kisses. “You’re alive!”
“Yes, though I believe I’ve been given the beginning stage of the sickness. Oh, Zin, why did you come here? You should have stayed far away from this place.”
“I had to find you… and Mother. Is she here? Is Mother still alive?”
“Yes, she’s here… though she’s not well. Oh, Zin, this place is a nightmare.”
Due to his eyes’ sensitivity to darkness, he couldn’t see that well in the dimly lit room. However, he didn’t need the light to see Raven’s sadness. With her black wings curled inward and her pouted lips, he knew exactly how she felt.
“Don’t worry, Raven, I’m going to get you and Mother out of here.”
She looked at him with longing, burgundy-colored eyes and asked, “How?”
“I don’t know,” he replied, holding her close, “but I’ll find a way. I swear it.”
Raven didn’t doubt his sincerity, but she knew Zin well. She knew how reactionary he could be, and how he often thought about things after the fact. It was part of what she loved about him: his fire and raw energy. His fire was what gave her the strength to finally break free from Luceon on Xen. When Zin had sent a letter to her, begging her to come to Ohr, she almost didn’t have the courage, but she couldn’t resist his passionate plea. Zin had a hold on her heart, and she loved him dearly, even if he could be careless at times. She knew, inside his core, he was a hero - her hero.
“I love you so much,” she cried as she held onto his chest.
“I love you too, my soul’s wife,” he replied with a kiss to her pale cheek. “And I promise, when we escape this place, I will marry you officially… in front of the entire planet!”
She softly giggled in between tears. “Oh, you silly boy,” she whispered, “just love me, and that’ll be enough. Even if I die here in this cold dome, I will have died happy… because of you.”