by Lyra Shanti
“Pei?”
“Yes, Ayn?”
“I… I’m very proud to have you as my friend, and as my General. Your diligence and heroism is a blessing. Thank you, my soul’s brother.”
Pei looked at the holographic image of Ayn and felt uncomfortable with how solemn and pale-faced his brother-in-soul appeared. “I too am honored to have you as my king and friend, Ayn. But please, concentrate on feeling better. Ona told me that you have not been well and-”
“She told you?” Ayn interrupted.
“Well… when I called you, she and I spoke before you answered. She told me you were going through a series of operations. She didn’t say what they were for, and I didn’t ask. I figured you would tell me when you were ready. Ayn, whatever it is, I am with you all the way. Please, take this time to rest. Leave everything to me and my team. Reese is here as well, so… you know how she is. I’m sure she won’t stop until every last prisoner of The Dome is safe inside our Holy City.”
“Yes,” Ayn said with a sigh, “especially Zin. Please, make sure he is found and protected.”
“Of course, Your Majesty.”
Ayn didn’t like it when Pei referred to him that way; it was so official sounding, and cold. However, he understood how seriously Pei took being a First General of the Tah, so he let it go.
“Alright, Pei, I trust you.” said Ayn with a sigh. “I’m tired, but I am on call. Please alert me when you reach The Dome. If I am indisposed, for some reason, contact Meddhi, and he’ll relay your message.”
“Understood,” said Pei with a nod.
“Good job, General,” added Ayn, “and remember... I will always love you like a brother.”
Pei gave a half-frown, confused at Ayn’s finality. About to ask why he sounded as if they’d never see each other again, Pei saw Ayn’s screen shut off as the hologram disappeared. What the hell was that about? thought Pei. Ayn sounded so morbid. I can’t imagine he’s depressed about getting his lower half altered to completely match his soul’s gender, so that must not be what the surgeries are about. I wonder if he’s really sick?
Pei bit his nail, deeply worried.
Covering his eyes from behind, Reese whispered, “Guess who?”
Pei sighed and said, “Oh, I don’t know… the red-spotted dragon of Kri?”
Reese laughed and replied, “Close… very close, but no. Guess again.”
Pei turned around and looked at her with a serious expression. “Sorry, Reese, I’m not really in the mood for games.”
Reese half-frowned and asked, “What’s wrong, priest? I thought you were all giddy about your new mermaid girlfriend.”
Pei smirked and said, “I’m not giddy, and if you’re referring to Lady Kiyana, she isn’t my girlfriend. She is a remarkable woman, and I am in awe of her abilities and her wisdom, but… we aren’t lovers. I’m honestly not sure if she even thinks that way about me, or anyone, for that matter. It’s possible she’s taken a vow of celibacy. Hell, I don’t even know if Tirleni females can physically be with Deiusian males. I just… I mean, Reese, why do you say things like this?”
Flustered, Pei rubbed his forehead and looked away. His rambling made Reese burst out in laughter. “You’re so into her! Look at you, Pei. You’re all red. You’re adorable, you know that?”
Pei rolled his eyes and said, “Quit it, Reese.”
She grinned and put her arm around his shoulder, then whispered, “I’ve missed you.”
Inside, he squirmed nervously, but physically, he didn’t budge a muscle. He didn’t want her to know he still had feelings for her, though his hurt overpowered any sort of lingering desire. “I’ve… missed you too,” he stoically replied, doing his best not to show any emotion. “I hope you’ve been well,” he added.
She sighed, looking out the deep-sea window. “Not really,” she said as she leaned against the clear wall of the Tirleni diving-ship. “Honestly, Pei… I’ve been sort of miserable. Not that you want to hear about it, I’m sure. Plus, you’ll probably just say you told me so, but… let’s just say that everything went belly up for me, and I have no one but myself to blame.”
Pei shook his head and replied, “I won’t say I told you so. If you want to talk to me, I’m here.”
Reese looked at him and half-smiled with sad eyes. “You’re a gem, Pei. You know that, right? I’m an idiot for letting you go. But the truth is, I was never good enough for you. I think we both know that.”
Pei shifted his weight and crossed his arms, his brow knotted tight. “Why do you say things like this?”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re not good enough for me. Reese… you made your choice the day you left with Baran to go back to Kri. And though it killed me, I understood. Kri was your home and Baran made you happy. I didn’t try to fight any of it because I knew I wasn’t good enough for you, not the other way around.”
Reese was gob smacked. “No,” she said, shaking her head, “you’ve got things all wrong, Pei. You were, and are, a shining star of a man. You are pure of heart, which is something so rare in this universe, and frankly, I don’t deserve you. I am broken. I’ve always been broken. I mistakenly thought Baran could love me because he was broken too, and I needed him to forgive me for what happened in our past. But, Pei… he isn’t half the man you are.”
Pei shook his head and let out a, “Pfft.”
“It’s true,” she continued, “Baran is a strong, passionate man, sure… but he’s also selfish and needy. He doesn’t think about others the way you do. He may love his planet, and he does try to be good, but he doesn’t give everything he’s got the way you do. You’re pure in your love for someone, and I think that’s what frightened me about you. I just… can’t give you that kind of purity in return. I wish I could, but I lost that ability long ago, and no matter what I do, I can’t get it back.”
Pei felt like he was going to cry, but refrained. “Reese, I don’t know what happened to you when you were young,” he said, coming closer to her, “but I don’t think you’ve lost your ability to love someone with a pure heart. I’ve seen the way you give to your daughter, for example. You love Iliya with your entire soul, and I know you’d do anything for her. That shows me you’re not broken the way you think you are.”
Reese sighed and said, “Oh, Pei… Iliya hates me right now.”
“I can’t imagine that,” he replied, setting his hand on her right shoulder.
“Believe me,” Reese argued, “she doesn’t want anything to do with me, and I don’t blame her. In her eyes, I gave up Baran, her hero, in exchange for freedom. She probably imagined we’d be a perfect family, but instead, I ruined it… and maybe she’s not wrong. Please don’t tell anyone this, but I had an affair last year. It was a stupid one-night thing with Captain Jayse, and it meant nothing, but… I think Baran knew, at least subconsciously.”
“Why did you do it?” asked Pei, retrieving his hand from her shoulder.
“Oh, Gods, I don’t know,” she replied. “Maybe because Baran was cornering me with talk of marriage and how he wanted me to step down as his General. I didn’t want to become his little trophy wife. I didn’t want to step down. The Lirhan is my life, you know? It was my brother’s life. It’s in my blood to fight. It’s who I am! Baran just… doesn’t get it. I think he still sees me as that little girl he fell for when I was fifteen. But I’m not her anymore, and I haven’t been for a very long time. Atlar saw the real me, and I think you do as well, but Baran… he just can’t.”
“I’m sorry,” he softly replied, unsure what else to say.
“It’s alright,” said Reese, “It means the world to me that you’re even listening to all this.”
Pei smiled, then walked to her. Taking a chance, he gently held her in his arms. “Of course I’ll listen. No matter what, we’re friends, right? I love you, Reese. You’re crazy, and difficult to handle sometimes, but I care for you, and always will.”
Reese thought she may burst out in tears, but she didn’t
want to go there. “Thank you, my dear Pei,” she whispered. “You are golden… and I love you too.”
As they released each other slowly, she turned away immediately, purposefully avoiding his eyes. “So… wow, look at those weird fish!” she said, changing the subject.
Pei turned to the window and saw the glowing blue fish swimming through the blackness; it had antennae on the top of its elongated head and a pointed, translucent tail. “Yeah,” he replied, “how bizarre. What are they?”
Reese shrugged and said, “You got me.”
Pei half-smiled, thinking, If only I did, Reese. Things would have gone a lot differently between us.
She laughed and added, “You’re the smart one here. Why don’t you look it up on your com-band.”
Doing as she suggested, Pei found out the strange creature was a Narnil fish, and it was in mating season, looking for a female to spawn his children. Pei could relate.
Looking out the window, he felt a mix of sadness and apprehension. He had a feeling The Dome wouldn’t be easy to take down. Despite it being filled with a bunch of sick patients, he guessed it would also be heavily guarded, if not by fighters, then by some kind of advanced Ohrian security system.
“Reese,” said Pei.
“Yeah?” she replied, also lost in thought.
“When we get to The Dome, remember, I’m in charge. Don’t do anything without my approval. Is that understood?”
She smiled and tapped his bottom. “Of course, priest,” she quipped.
Pei smirked, shaking his head. She never changes, he silently laughed, and as their Tirleni deep-sea ship traveled through the black of the ocean, he was somehow comforted by that thought.
--
Ayn felt utterly exhausted. The medication he was taking was bad enough, since it made his brain feel fuzzy and his stomach queasy, but the shots Dr. Hessen gave him were even worse. Is this all going to be worth it? he wondered as he tied the loose belt of his sky-blue robe.
He didn’t want to die, that much he knew. He couldn’t allow himself to succumb to the illness, no matter what. I have to live, he silently vowed, for Ona… for my planet… for everyone.
“There,” said the doctor, “we’re done for today. I’ve extracted enough tissue from your blood, and your cells seem to be reacting favorably to the regenerative medication. You will be ready for your first surgery soon. Are you ready?”
Ayn looked at Lius with sad eyes and quietly said, “No.”
Ona was standing by Ayn’s bed in the medical lab. As Dr. Hessen's assistant and Ayn's wife, she refused to miss a thing. “Ayn,” she gently said, picking up his hand, “it’ll be alright. I’m here. I’ll be with you the entire time.”
“I just…” he muttered, “I don’t understand the procedure fully. You’re taking my cells and remaking them?”
“Yes, that’s the basic idea,” said Lius as he put away the vials of Ayn’s blood. “Then, I will be surgically inserting the healthy, non-infected cells back into your body. If all goes well, you should have an entirely clean, plasma-free body.”
“Wait…” said Ayn as he darted up in his bed, “what do you mean?”
“What’s wrong, honey?” asked Ona.
“He said I’d have a plasma-free body. Is that true?”
Lius sighed as he wiped his hands with sanitizing gel, “Well,” he replied, “no one is free of plasma, since it is in the very air we breathe, but it won’t be infecting you anymore in the way that it currently is - certainly not at a cellular level.”
“So… I won’t have the illness, but I’ll still have plasma?”
“Yes, that’s right,” said Lius with a smile. “You’ll just be free of the disease, that’s all. You will have a regenerated, healthy body, Ayn, I promise you.”
He wanted to trust the doctor’s words. Lius was his second father - a man he usually trusted more than anyone, save Ona. However, there was something that kept nagging at him. “Lius?” asked Ayn.
“Yes?” the doctor replied.
“Will I still be,” said Ayn, blushing, “you know… The Bodanya? Will I still be me afterward?”
“Yes, Ayn,” said Lius, “you will always be you. No surgery in The Un can change that.”
Ayn took a deep sigh and leaned back on the bed. Letting himself trust in both his doctor and his wife, he closed his eyes and slipped into sleep.
Ona took a breath, then turned to Lius. Her brow deeply knotted, she looked angry, which unnerved the doctor. He hated when she targeted him with her frustrations.
“Ayn will make it through this, Ona,” he quietly assured her, trying his best to stop her before she started. “He just needs rest.”
She pursed her lips and whispered, “He better. He is my life, my everything.”
Lius nodded and came to her, putting his arm over her shoulder. “I think we should perform the surgery this week. The longer we wait, the more time his infected cells have to spread.”
She nodded, though she wished there was another way. Something told her the surgery would not go as planned. She didn’t know if it was merely her fear causing her to worry or if it was a premonition, but either way, she didn’t feel right.
“I’m going to the library for a little while,” she said, turning for the door. “If my husband wakes, please alert me, and make sure he knows I’ll be with him immediately.”
“Yes, my queen,” replied Lius with a nod.
As the doctor watched his best student leave the room, he wondered if she could handle being present during Ayn’s operation. It would be no small task, and Lius wondered if he should forbid her from attending. Who am I kidding? he thought with a sigh, She’ll do as she pleases. She always has, and always will.
--
Pira sat in the library, taking a momentary break from reading her book. It was a tale about the great Gods of Deiusian legend, Rami and Uramay. They were lovers of olden times, before Deiusians had even been created. They were the first children of the Sky God, Ah, and the Water God, Om, and though they were desperately in love, they were forbidden to be with each other. Yet, no matter how hard their parents denied their love, they couldn’t be parted. In the story, they were separated for a long time, then spent an eternity, fighting to be reunited once again.
Despite choosing the story herself, Pira felt miserable reading it. She had hoped it would be a good distraction from her own conflicted feelings about Meddhi, but the book seemed to be making her feel even worse. She couldn’t help but think of their own slightly forbidden love. No, it’s not really forbidden, she thought as she closed the book and anxiously stood up. I’m just being dramatic. Yet… it feels that way. Is it because I still harbor feelings for Yol?
Twisting her fingers together and pacing the floor, she answered, No, that’s definitely not what I feel. Yol was a madman, and I honestly can’t even imagine loving him. Is it because I feel guilt for loving my sister’s man? No… she could have had him, but never truly gave herself. Is it because I feel guilt for loving someone besides Atlar? No… I don’t think that’s it either. He was a good husband, I’m sure, but… did I feel passion for him? I don’t know! What am I missing? Why does everything feel so empty and surreal? It feels as though I’m looking in a mirror, only to find a stranger looking back.
“It is because you are looking in the wrong mirror,” said Emelanthia unexpectedly.
Pira twirled around and looked at the high priestess in her long, black and red Dryndi style dress. Pira was unnerved, but took a breath and said, “Oh, Em… how long have you stood there?”
Em smiled and came closer to the queen’s mother. “I haven’t been in this room long, but… I can hear your thoughts a mile away.”
Pira blushed and said, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know your ability was that strong. I’m silly, I suppose. I should have known. I’m sorry if I disturbed you. Did you, um… want to use the library? I can leave.”
Em slowly shook her head and calmly replied, “No, I am here for you, not the
books.”
Pira gulped. The high priestess always made her a little nervous, but this time, even more so. There was a knowing in the priestess’ gold eyes that seemed to look through into Pira’s soul. She was afraid what Em might discover, and yet, she was curious as well.
“You wanted to speak with me?” asked Pira, holding back her nerves.
“Yes,” replied Em. “You see, my brother is very ill… more than anyone may know. I am worried he will not last much longer.”
“What?!” blurted Pira. “But Doctor Hessen has assured us that-”
“Yes,” Em interrupted, “I know what the doctor believes, and if this was a matter entirely made of our known scientific evidence, he would be right to assume Ayn’s chances are favorable. Unfortunately, Ayn’s psyche, as well as his plasma, is not that predictable.”
“What do you mean?” asked Pira, worried beyond words.
Em walked closer and whispered, “Please do not utter what I am about to tell you to anyone, especially not Ona, for she is far too invested to comprehend.”
“I promise,” replied Pira.
Em nodded, then said, “Ayn is indeed The Bodanya, but his soul is split into two halves. He isn’t even aware yet of how divided his mind has become over the years. According to the Dryndi records, it happened when Adin was brought back from death. His soul was not ready to be reborn, and he was full of pain and vengeance. At first, all he could do was rage into the night, like a wild animal, and it took all of Sri Unda’s strength to subdue her beloved king. He wasn’t how she remembered him, though, and she was terrified he would lose his heart. However, in time, she helped him regain his memories, and he once again spoke like the dignified man he had been in life. But… he was not quite the same. He was angry, and it reflected in the new path he chose. As Kri’s first Lirhan protector, he fought using his powerful, yet tainted plasma, and his soul was never the same again.”