“I know that feeling well, brother,” Dom said, and I thought he was talking about Harlow too.
“Dom,” Shooter said. “It’s time.”
I looked over at Shooter with confusion and then back to Dom, who only shook his head.
“What is it?” I asked. “Is she okay?”
I hadn’t heard from her or seen her since I’d told her to leave. It had only been a couple of hours, but anything could have happened between then and now—especially with the shit going down between the clubs at the moment.
“This isn’t about her. This is about Dom,” Shooter replied. “He’s got some shit he needs to say. Stuff you should know.”
“What is it?” I asked, looking back at Dom.
“Harlow and I, we knew each other, a long time ago. Back before the club, before everything,” he said, his words looking painful to say. “She was the love of my life, and I was hers.”
His words cut me deep. Felt like they were slicing along my veins and making me bleed out. The thought of her with anyone but me, loving anyone but me was more painful than anything I’d ever felt before, and I fidgeted uncomfortably, fighting the desire to lean across the table and put a bullet in my brother’s forehead.
“What are you telling me this for? I’ve told you how I feel, and your high school fucking bullshit love ain’t gonna change that. What I feel is different, it’s real. She’s mine.” And she was. Harlow was mine. As soon as the meeting was over, I was going to go out and find her and drag her back to my bed. I’d finish what we’d started earlier, and me and my dick would be happy as motherfucking campers again. And there was no chance I was going to let her go again for anything. If I couldn’t convince her that this was the real deal, then I’d chain her to my fucking bed until she understood it.
“I broke her heart. I left her and moved on,” Dom continued.
“Dumb fucker!” I bit out. Though who was I to talk because hadn’t I just done the same thing?
Dom laughed bitterly. “Yeah. When I saw her at the Bangers’ clubhouse, I saw it as my chance for redemption. My chance to make it up to her. To make up for the mistakes of my past.”
“Not going to happen,” I ground out.
“She doesn’t love me anymore anyway—not like that,” Dom said, and I held my chin up higher. “She made that clear this morning.”
“Damn fucking straight she doesn’t,” I ground out.
“Shut your fucking mouth and listen!” Shooter snapped at me.
“I love her, I’ve always loved her, but with her it’s different. Harlow has always been my mask, and I’ve only ever let her see underneath it. She was the only one I ever trusted back then. I think that’s why I love her so damn much. She knows the real me.”
I frowned. “I don’t understand. Your mask? The real you? What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Yeah.” Dom’s shoulders sagged. “The real me.”
“Why did you even leave her in the first place?” I asked, pieces of the puzzle slipping together but not forming a picture. “If you loved her so much, why break her heart?”
I should have asked myself that very same question.
“Because I was also in love with someone else,” Dom said, his words quiet.
I looked over at Shooter and Rider. Both men were staring at Dom, no anger or confusion on their faces. Only respect and understanding. What the fuck was going on?
“Who?” I asked on a laugh. “Don’t tell me. You fell for someone else’s old lady? Rider here ready to break your neck for wanting to hook up with Charlie?” I laughed again but Dom only shook his head. “Who, then?”
“I’ve been hiding for so long, brother. But I just don’t want to anymore. No, that’s not true—I want to, but I can’t anymore. It’s already cost me too much.” Dom sounded like he was in pain. Each word, each syllable cutting him.
I slid my chair closer to him, my gaze hard and unwavering, because whatever this was I would have his back. “Whatever it is, we’ve got your back. The club has your back. We’re brothers through and through. As long as you understand that H is mine, then we’re good.”
Dom looked up at me, the hard edges to his face softer than I was used to seeing. Never been so worried about a brother before.
“Who the fuck is it, Dom?”
He dragged a hand down his face, his shoulders sagging even more, like he was ashamed of whatever he was about to tell me. Must have been bad, but how bad could it really be if Shooter and Rider still had his back?
“Fuck, brother, you’re scaring me now,” I laughed.
“It’s time, Dom,” Shooter said again.
I didn’t look across at our president this time. Instead my gaze stayed firmly fixed on my brother—my friend—as he spilled his secret to me. A secret that was clearly killing him.
“Butch,” he said, his hands falling from his face so he could look at me. “I was in love with Butch.”
Chapter Twenty-seven:
Casa
I stared at him in silence for long seconds, trying to decipher what he was saying.
But there was no deciphering needed.
It was plain and simple what he was telling me. What was more confusing was how it had been staring me in the face for so long.
Dom had been, and clearly still was, very much in love with Butch. Butch, who was Shooter’s brother. But more importantly, Butch, who was a man.
“How is that possible?” I asked with a scowl. “I’ve seen you with women. Plenty of women…”
“You saw what I wanted you to see,” Dom said, his eyes shining like he was going to fucking cry or some shit. “I did what I had to to cover up who I really was, but I can’t anymore. I won’t.”
I stood up and backed away from him, not sure what to say or how to feel. Though as the minutes crept by, it seemed less and less important who Dom wanted to fuck. Because all that mattered to me was that he didn’t want Harlow and I had no competition for her.
“What about Butch?” I asked, looking from Shooter to Dom. “Was he a fag too?”
“Don’t call him that,” Shooter growled out. “Don’t call either of them that.”
I scowled and looked at Shooter. “He’s going to be called worse than that when people find out what he is, Prez. Better arm himself now and be ready for it.”
“Casa, I’m fucking warn—” Shooter began but didn’t finish.
“No, he’s right. It’s what I was always afraid of. But not Butch, he wasn’t afraid of shit,” Dom said sadly.
“So Butch was…” I paused, stopping myself from saying fag again. “…gay too?”
“Yeah,” Dom agreed.
“And you and he were ass-fucking each other?”
“Careful,” Shooter warned.
“You fuck girls in the ass, what’s the difference?” Dom asked.
“It’s not right,” I replied. “A woman’s ass is a hole needing to be filled. A man’s ass isn’t made for that.”
“Get with the fucking times, Casa. He’s gay—he hasn’t grown a set of tits and a pussy!” Rider argued. “And a man’s G-spot is up his ass, for your information!” His cheeks reddened immediately after saying that last part.
“Are you gay too, Rider?” I asked, even more confused. “Seriously, brother, are you gay?”
“Fuck no, I like tits too much, but Charlie likes to get a little handsy and we’ve tried some shit and experimented, and…” His words died off as my jaw opened wide. “Aaah, fuck off, Casa!”
I laughed, loudly. I’d tried some stuff in my life, but I’d never had anything shoved up my ass. Couldn’t say I wasn’t curious now, though.
“Look, the way I see it is, who a man fucks isn’t anyone’s business but his. As long as it ain’t another man’s old lady, who really gives a fuck?” Shooter leaned back in his chair and began tapping his cigarette on the table again. “If Dom fucks men, that’s his business, and as long as it don’t interfere with club business, I’m not interested. If anyone has
a problem with it, they can come see me.”
“Probably going to regret it if they do,” Rider added on with a dark grin.
“Fuck yeah they will,” Shooter agreed.
Dom, Rider and Shooter all stared at me while I thought about what Dom had just said, confusion slowly turning to acceptance.
“What does it really matter?” Shooter asked, his tone genuine.
I stared at him, incredulous, and then sat back down, stunned. “I guess it doesn’t.”
Dom looked over, relief flooding his features. I wasn’t okay with it—shit certainly didn’t feel natural to me—but Shooter was right: wasn’t no business of mine who Dom or anyone else fucked. As long as it wasn’t my old lady, he could do what he pleased.
I opened my mouth to say as much when a knock came on the door and Gauge stuck his head in. “We got a problem, Prez.”
“What is it?” Shooter asked standing up abruptly.
“Charlie’s here.”
“My Charlie?” Rider asked. “She okay?” He started walking toward the door.
Gauge laughed. “Fuck yeah, she’s fine, but she’s about to tear apart this place looking for Pops, Dom, and you.”
“Fuck,” Dom murmured. “It’s okay, let her at me. I deserve it.”
“You sure?” Gauge asked. “No offense, Rider, but your ol’ lady is crazy.”
“None taken, it’s the fuckin’ truth,” Rider agreed.
We all chuckled in agreement—everyone barring Dom, who was in the middle of dragging a hand down his face and looking like he wanted to puke.
“It’s this shit with Rose, I can guarantee it. Need to find her and apologize. Again.” He put his head back in his hands. “Fucccck!” he yelled.
Shooter shook his head. “Sorry, Rider, but you need to get your woman out of here. Now’s not the time for her shit. Too much going down for this drama right now.”
“You’re throwing me under the bus here, Prez. I already blew her off once today, and she’s gonna have my balls in a vise for it,” Rider said wearily, but he was already making his way to the door. That was one thing you could guarantee with Shooter—brother never changed his mind once he’d made it, and he wouldn’t change his mind on this one.
“I know. Can’t be helped, though. It’s for the good of the club and all that.” Shooter laughed on his words.
“You owe me,” Rider said, his gaze drifting over Shooter and Dom. “Both of you motherfuckers owe me big time. You have any clue the kind of crap she’s gonna give me for this? Fuckers, both of you.” He left the room and I caught the tail end of his darlin’, about earlier… or some shit like that before I drowned him out, my own thoughts on Harlow and if I’d be as big a pussy as Rider when it came to my woman. Nah, fuck that, no way.
“Laney here yet?” Shooter asked Gauge, whose attention was on Dom.
“Yeah, she’s out here with a face like thunder too.” He laughed again. “I swear, all this woman drama is only further instilling in me the desire to be single forever. Women are good for two things only: sucking cock and fucking cock. Ain’t that right, Casa?”
“Fuck yeah,” I said agreeing with him, but my heart wasn’t in it. Damn straight I loved Harlow sucking me off, and fucking her was like fucking an angel, but she was more than that. So much more.
“Not you too?” Gauge replied sounding pissed off. Guess I wasn’t that convincing. “There some magical fucking pussy fountain in town that I don’t know about? You know what? Don’t tell me. Keep that shit to yourself,” he muttered and walked back out of the room.
Shooter stood up next and I looked across at him. “I gotta go deal with my own woman. Her moods have been all over the place recently. Not sure how many more times I’m going to have to apologize to her before we’re good.” He sighed. “You want my advice? It’s better to keep your dick in your pants.”
I laughed, and I think I heard Dom chuckle too.
“You two clear the air,” Shooter continued. “No one kill each other, and I want both of you stay away from Harlow until after the ride tomorrow.” He scowled at us both, leaving no room for argument. And yet of course I did.
“Can’t do that,” I replied, standing up. “Sorry, Prez, but I have to see her. It’s important.”
All this shit with Dom being in love with Butch…fuck, I had no idea what to make of any of that. All I knew was that Harlow was mine now. And now not even Dom could stand in my way anymore. Really fucking confused why he even had in the first place, since he didn’t even like pussy.
“That’s an order, brother,” Shooter growled, his nostrils flaring angrily. “I need your heads in the game, and not buried in angry pussy that could cause you to lose your focus.”
I sighed. “I need to see her, Shooter. I left things badly.”
“Not my problem. My problem is making sure Axle makes it home to us. Which means I need every brother in on this focused and ready. Stay away from her until after this shit goes down. That’s a fuckin’ order, Casa.” Shooter slid his unlit cigarette back into the top pocket of his cut.
I hated it, but he was my president and I respected him enough to nod okay regardless if I liked it or not. A thought occurred to me and I turned to Dom.
“Do you still love him?” I asked Dom. “Butch, I mean. You said you loved her, and then you said you loved him. I just need to make sure if I still need to kill you or not.”
Dom snorted out a sad laugh. “I’ll always love him. We were supposed to be together but I was too much of a coward to let it happen. And Harlow, yeah, I still love her too, but she was right—I can’t be with her. Doesn’t mean I want you to be with her, though. You’re my brother and I love you, but she deserves someone better than you—someone that will look after her right. And you’ll never be that for her.”
His words made me angrier than I’d felt in a long time. No one had the right to tell me that I wasn’t good enough—not even my brother.
Dom swiveled in his chair to look at me, his gray eyes looking deep into me. I scowled but he continued to stare until he was good and finished.
“I can’t stop you from seeing her if I don’t make a claim on her—and I’m not going to. That’s another thing she was right about: I need to be true to myself now, and true to my brothers about who I really am.” Dom sat up straight, like saying the words out loud was making him feel lighter. With each word spoken his features became less strained, his muscles less tense. I fucking envied him.
I looked over at Shooter “Then I’m making a claim on her right now. Putting it out there that she’s mine. Want her on the back of my bike and wearing my property patch. She’s gonna be my old lady, even if she doesn’t know it yet.”
“You sure about that?” Dom asked with a small laugh. “Bitch is stubborn as fuck.”
“Don’t I know it,” I grumbled, let my anger at him slide away. He didn’t think I was good enough for her, that I would take care of her like she deserved? Then I’d have to prove him wrong. “Think that’s why I like her so damn much. She don’t put up with my shit, and she don’t fall for it, either. With her, I gotta be me and no one else. And don’t call her ‘bitch,’ she hates that.” I shook my head as I said the words. Damn magical pussy for sure. “Just gotta make her forgive me now.”
“You giving up the club whores too then?” Shooter said, cracking his knuckles and raising an eyebrow. “Know how you like to live out those dark fantasies of yours.”
And it was true. I did. And the club whores were the only ones that would let me pull some of that shit. Couldn’t see me giving up on any of my dark fantasies anytime soon, either.
“You wanting in on some of the action?” I joked.
“Fuck no. I’m never going down that road again. I’m a one-woman man from here on out. But you, Casa, you ain’t ever been with just one woman.” Shooter looked genuinely worried for me and I laughed.
“Let’s not go crazy here, brother. I’m sure she’ll understand that a man needs to get his dick wet in othe
r women at times.” I grinned. “It’s a goddamned human right as a man!”
“Fuck nah, that ain’t happening. Red is an all-or-nothing woman,” Dom said seriously.
“Well shit,” I replied, my heart sinking.
“Seriously, I gotta go talk to my old lady. She’s pissed at me, again,” Shooter said. “I’m glad you came to me, Dom. You know that no matter what, I’ve always got your back. And the club will too, but they’ll need a little more time to come around to it.”
“I’ve got your back too,” I said. “I’m sorry about all the shit earlier.”
Dom let out a breath and nodded. He reached out and shook my hand, tension leaving his shoulders. “That’s good to hear. I’m sorry too.”
Shooter left the room, leaving me and Dom alone. He turned to me, his face serious.
“We good?” I asked, because I wanted to be absolutely sure where we stood before I left the room.
“I guess. Still don’t like it none, Casa, and I’m going to have to shoot you when you break her fucking heart, because you will, but yeah, I guess we’re good.” Dom nodded at me. “And me—the shit I just told you—we’re still good?”
I stood up, my chair scraping along the floor, and I looked down at him. “You know, I might surprise you. Who says I’m going to break her heart? I might turn over a new leaf and become prince fucking charming for all you know.” I lit another cigarette, feeling all kinds of confused with everything that was going on. “And yeah, we’re good. Keep your hands off my woman and I don’t have a problem with you.”
I blew smoke out of my nose, feeling irritated by him again, but Dom leaned over and patted me on the shoulder. “I’m pretty certain that you’ve already broken her heart.”
“You don’t know that!” I bit out, knowing he was right. I had seen the look on her face, the hurt after I’d made her scream my name as she orgasmed and then kicked her out of my house.
“Yeah, I do,” he replied and walked away from me.
Ride or Die 2 Page 20