by Todd, E. L.
I’d love to see his too. But I pushed the thought away. “I don’t know anything about you.”
“What would you like to know?”
“Anything.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Well, I grew up with two brothers and a sister. That information isn’t new. I love my niece and nephew. And I’m excited for the third one on the way. I hope it’s another boy.”
“Why did you help Layla move a few months ago?”
He stared at me. “Kyle called me and told me he needed help. He didn’t explain anything.”
“And you just did as he asked? No questions asked?”
“You’d do the same for your sister, wouldn’t you?”
“Well, yeah.”
“How is it any different?”
“Layla is his girlfriend. Kyle didn’t need any help.”
“It doesn’t matter. If he loves her, so do I. I’d do anything for him. My brother pisses me off and I want to kill them, but that fact doesn’t change. And we are even worse when it comes to Elisa. We act like she’s the most annoying person on the planet, but I would die just to make her happy. She’s my baby sister.”
“The Benedicts are a very enigmatic clan.”
“Not really,” he said. “We’re pretty straight forward.”
“And you’re all ridiculously good looking.”
He smiled. “Thank you.”
I rolled my eyes.
“My sister used to be a model before she got married.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “It wasn’t anything big. She just did it for extra cash.”
“That’s cool.”
“I used to be a model too.”
“Of course you were.”
He smiled. “I needed the extra money to pay back my loans.”
“What kind of model were you?”
“Underwear model.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“You’re going to look me up as soon as you get home.”
“No,” I said quickly.”
“Sure…”
“There’s that cocky attitude again.”
Scott laughed. “You’re right. I’ll tone it down.”
“Who did you model for?”
“Ralph Lauren.”
“That’s crazy.”
He shrugged. “It was good money.”
“Then why did you stop?”
“I wasn’t going to change someone’s life doing that, except for a few horny girls.”
I glared at him.
“Sorry,” he said with a laugh. “I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer.”
“What kind are you? A defendant?”
“Fuck no,” he snapped. “I’m a prosecutor. I put scum behind bars, not vindicate them.”
The waiter brought our plates then walked away.
“Do you like your job?” I asked.
“I love it,” he said. “I get a few death threats and bribes, but other than that, it’s the best.”
“You probably work all the time.”
“Is that a bad thing?” he asked.
“No.”
“I know you’re the same way,” he said. “And I know we would have a lot to discuss during pillow talk.”
“Pillow talk?” I asked.
“What you talk about after sex and before bed.”
“Well, that’s forward.”
He picked up his fork and leaned forward. “I get what I want, Janet. You’re too good to pass up.”
“You’re creepy.”
“I know you don’t think that.” He ate his salad gracefully, his elbows off the table and his back straight.
“You’d be wrong.”
“Then you like kissing creepy people.”
I sighed, knowing he caught me.
“Did you always want to be a human resources director?”
I shrugged. “It wasn’t always my dream, but I enjoy doing it. It pays well, has good hours, and comes with benefits.”
“What’s your dream?”
“To be a teacher.”
“Then why aren’t you?”
“They don’t make enough money,” I said.
“You don’t seem like someone who cares about that.”
“I don’t,” I said. “But I need to support myself on a single woman’s salary.”
“You won’t be single forever.”
I avoided his gaze and took a bite of my fried artichoke.
“What’s the story?” he asked.
“There is no story.”
“I hate liars.”
I sighed. “I just have a hard time finding guys.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“I’m just picky,” I said. “It’s hard for me to feel something for men. I usually feel hollow and empty. There are no emotions there, no butterflies, no excitement. I feel out of place and awkward. There’s just nothing there.”
“It sounds like you’re going out with the wrong guys.”
“Or maybe there’s something wrong with me.”
“No,” he said quickly. “You have high standards. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Ryan is a really nice guy, but there’s nothing there.”
“Even from across the room, I could tell,” he said.
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“You broke it off with him, right?”
“There’s nothing to break off.”
“When he asks you out again, you’ll say no, right?”
“I guess,” I said.
“You guess?” he snapped. “Don’t date someone you don’t like.”
“Maybe I’ll feel something if I give him another chance.”
He glared at me. “If you’re going to feel something for him, it would have happened already. It shouldn’t be forced. If anything, it should be fought. It’s uncontrollable to the point of frustration.”
That immediately reminded me of him. I tried not to think about Scott but he usually popped into my mind. I’d lusted after his body a few times. And I was eager to look up his picture when I got home later tonight. But I didn’t like his cocky and controlling nature. Well, I did, but only to a certain extent.
“You feel something for me, Janet. You’re dating me—exclusively. That’s the end of the story.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Your kiss said otherwise.”
“I was just surprised.”
“Do you always moan like that?”
“I moaned?” My cheeks turned red.
He nodded.
Damn.
“You aren’t dating him. I’ll talk to him if I have to.”
I glared at him. “It’s shit like this that makes me not want to date you.”
“What?” he asked innocently.
“You won’t tell me what to do.”
“I’m not,” he said. “I’m just giving you a nudge out the door. If I don’t, you’ll just waste your time with him. And you’re dating me. It’s not fair to me.”
“Okay, I never said I was dating you.”
“Well we are.”
“I hate you.”
“Too bad,” he said.
“You’re so annoying.”
He grabbed my face and kissed me across the table.
Just like before, I melted. The taste of the vinaigrette was on my tongue. His mouth was hot and controlling. It felt good against my own. The anger left my body like it had before. I shattered at the feel of his touch.
He pulled away. “This discussion is over.”
I said nothing, feeling the air vacant my lungs.
Scott ate his salad then pushed it away.
I had nothing to say, not after that kiss. As much as I hated to admit it, it made me feel weak, wanting more.
The waiter brought the tab and Scott placed the money inside. I didn’t bother to fight for my half. I could predict exactly how Scott would react. The argument would last another fifteen minutes.
Scott st
ood up and pulled my chair out. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah.”
He grabbed my hand and walked me out the restaurant. Feeling his hand surround mine felt oddly nice. I didn’t pull away even though I knew I should. He was so much taller than me, at least a foot. I always felt large around my friends, but Scott’s large size made me feel small. When we reached the street, he held my hand as we walked. As the crowd passed us, he put his arm around my waist and held me close. The longer I touched him, the more I fell for his tactics. I hadn’t been held like that in a long time. It felt nice.
When we reached my apartment, he walked me to the door. “Thank you for going out with me,” he said politely. His hands moved to his pockets and he stared me down.
I was somewhat disappointed that he stopped touching me.
“Well, I was tricked into it.”
“If you really wanted to leave, you could have.”
“I highly doubt that.”
He smiled. “You’re stuck with me.”
“I don’t know if I want to be,” I whispered.
“I’ll change your mind.” He came closer to me. “Can I take you out again?”
“Uh…”
“I’ll pick you up at seven on Wednesday.”
“I didn’t say yes.”
“I’m speeding things along.”
I glared at him. “I don’t like not having a choice.”
“You do.”
“It doesn’t seem that way.”
He stepped closer to me. “I’m going to kiss you.”
My eyes widened.
“And it’ll be different than the other ones. I’m going to push you against the door, feel your body, and touch my tongue against yours.”
I stood still.
He leaned closer to me, slowly pushing me toward the door.
My heart was slamming against my ribs.
“You can stop me at any time.”
When my back was pressed against the door, he pushed against me, his chest touching mine. His hands moved to my hips, feeling the fabric in his fingertips. His warm breaths fell on my face, inviting me to him.
“You want me to stop?” he whispered.
I stared at his lips, waiting for it to happen.
“You do have a choice, baby.” He pressed his lips against mine, making my heart stop beating for a moment in time. His kiss was gently, his lips caressing mine. His hands moved up and down my sides, feeling the curves of my waist.
I opened my mouth wider, feeling my passion and excitement take over. His tongue slipped inside my mouth, lightly moving around mine. He kissed me slowly, his tongue moving across mine with precision. He moved his mouth more than his tongue. The sound of our kisses filled the quiet hallway. It played loud on my ears. My heart hammered in my chest and I felt my breathing increase. By their own will, my hands reached out and touched his chest, feeling the muscles of his body. It was hard and solid, powerful like a concrete wall. My hands glided to his neck, feeling the short stands in my fingertips.
Scott pushed me against the door, his hand moving to my leg. His hand drifted across the skin, caressing my calf muscle. I wrapped my leg around his waist, and his hand moved to my thigh. I’d never had a kiss quite like that. It was gentle but powerful at the same time. It made my legs shake and the moisture form between my legs.
My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him close to me. A loud moan escaped my lips before I could hold it back. I’d never been turned on like that, just from a simple kiss. My mind turned to sinister thoughts. I’d never had a one night stand before, but I wanted to do more things with Scott. His body and touch made me act in a way I never had before. A sexier man I’d never known. Before I got carried away, I pulled away.
Scott placed his face close to mine, his breathing deep and heavy. His hands pulled down my dress and gripped my waist. He pulled me to his chest and hugged me. I wasn’t expecting the touch. I rested my head on his shoulder while he held me, my breathing still shallow. “That was the best kiss I’ve ever had,” he whispered.
I placed a gentle kiss on his neck.
He moaned quietly.
I pulled away then stared into his face.
“I’ll see you on Wednesday.”
“Yeah.”
“Now go inside.”
I fumbled with my keys while he watched me. I wanted to invite him inside but I knew I shouldn’t. I’d never gotten carried away like that in the middle of a hallway. Imagine how bad I’d be if we were alone in my bedroom. When I got the door open, I turned to him.
He placed his hand on the door and kissed me gently on the lips. “I’ll see you in my dreams.” Scott turned and walked away, leaving me rooted to the spot. When he was gone, I shut the door and walked to my room in a daze, unable to believe what just happened. I liked Scott but I didn’t at the same time. My lips were still on fire, burning from his last touch.
When I went into my bedroom, I grabbed my laptop. I searched the Ralph Lauren ads and typed his name in the search engine. After a few minutes of research, I found his pictures. My eyes widened when I saw his body. His chest was chiseled in detail, looking like a statue carved out of marble. His chest was wide and powerful, packed with muscle. His stomach was tight with muscles, an eight pack clearly defined. It looked like a piece of art, not a person. And when I saw the bugle in his underwear, my mouth watered. He was definitely—big. I was still on fire from the kiss we had in the hallway, and now I felt the lust for him return. I lied in bed and touched myself while I stared at his picture, feeling dirtier than I ever had. I’d never done that before, but when I was done, I was more satisfied than I’d ever been with any man in my past.
7
My sister finally started talking to me a few days later.
I placed the dinner on the table and she sat down. Normally, she complained about my cooking, saying she could do it better, but tonight she was quiet. She ate a piece of the asparagus and chewed quietly.
I sipped my water while I stared at her. I usually enjoyed a glass of wine with dinner but I threw away all the alcohol I had in light of her addiction.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
I almost dropped my fork. My sister never apologized for anything. Even when she stole my dolls and sold them at our garage sell, she still didn’t apologize. And they were a gift from my late grandmother.
“I should have told you.”
I nodded.
“I—I just didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Are you ready now?”
“No, I’ll never be ready.”
“Beatriz, tell me what happened.”
She picked at her asparagus with her fork, not eating anything. “We’re making federal changes to the education system and I was stressed about that. They changed the tenure policy and I was getting more anxious about it. I started taking it out on Hank. He was already stressed at work, and I was just making it worse. I turned to alcohol because it was the only thing that steadied my shaking hand. We stopped having sex for months. When I caught him masturbating, I yelled at him. That just made it worse.
“And when I was home, I had a few glasses of wine. I was holding Joey and I—”
My eyes widened, fearing her following words.
“I dropped him…”
My heart fell.
“He was in the hospital for a week because he had swelling to the brain.” A tear fell down her face. “That’s when everything went from bad to worse. Hank left and took Joey with him. Social services got involved and took a report. When Hank sues for sole custody of Joey, I know I’ll lose.” She wiped her tears away and tried to steady her breathing. “I’m a horrible mother.”
I grabbed her hand. “Beatriz, it was an accident.”
“It wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t drinking. It wasn’t intentional.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said as she sobbed.
“You recognize your faults. That’s good. Now we can move forward and chang
e everything.”
“Nothing I do will change anything. Hank hates me. And he should. He tried divorcing me but I keep evading it.”
“Because you love him.”
She sobbed and covered her face.
I came around the table and held her, patting her back.
She sobbed into my shoulder, gripping me for support. I held her for a long time, running my fingers through her hair like I used to. She cried and cried, pouring her heart and soul out to me.
“I hate myself,” she whispered.
“Don’t say that,” I said. “We’ll make it right.”
“I can’t.”
I pulled away. “We’ll get you help. When Hank sees all the effort you’re making, he’ll change his mind.”
“No he won’t.”
“You shouldn’t have to suffer forever, Beatriz. Hank is understanding. If you prove you’ve changed, he’ll come around.”
“He’ll never take me back.”
“But he’ll let you see Joey.”
“No, he won’t.”
“Let’s take baby steps,” I said. “We’ll get you into a program then we go from there.”
She sniffed. “Thank you so much. I know I’ve been a bitch you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Please don’t tell Mom.”
“I won’t,” I said. “But you should tell her eventually. She’ll figure it out. I did.”
“I know,” she whispered. “Can you do me a favor?”
“I’d do anything for you, Bee.”
“Hank won’t let me see Joey. Could you go see him for me? Check on him?”
“Of course.”
“I miss him so much. I love him more than anything.”
“I know you do,” I said gently.
“I mean it.”
“I know, Bee.”
“I really have no one else in the world. I don’t have any friends, any family—no one. Without you, I’d be screwed.”
“That isn’t true. Tony is a part of this family too.”
“We’ve never been close,” she said.
“He’s still your brother. He’d do anything for you.”
“Please don’t tell him.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” I said.
“Thank you.” She nodded. “I’ll try not to be so annoying from now on.”
I chuckled. “That would be much appreciated.”
“So, what’s new with you?”