The silence of the forest pool was disturbed only by the waterfall's soothing rush and the soft sound of wind blowing in the trees. Lainie gave a shivering sigh and gazed at Slade's smiling green eyes.
"Pleasure, that's what is supposed to happen between a man and a woman," Slade said, brushing a soft butterfly kiss on her forehead. "Only pleasure, not pain. Now do you believe me? You'll have to take back your words."
A shudder rocked Lainie.
"I don't believe you. That wouldn't happen with any man. Bertram--" And all the painful memories came rushing back. Yet somehow, the thoughts were not as painful and the moment not as horrific.
Slade's hold on her tightened and when she looked at him, he was no longer smiling. A grim expression had replaced the devil-may-care grin and his green eyes were as cold as ice.
"What?" Lainie asked, her lips trembling and her thoughts narrowing in on Slade's words as well as his expression.
"Don't think about him--about Bertram--about what he did to you. I want you to remember only the moments of pleasure and the satisfaction afterwards. You're right. It isn't that way with every lover. But Bertram wasn't a lover."
Slade touched his finger to Lainie's chin, lifting it so she could not take her eyes from him. "Little darling, you let me have my wicked way with you because of passion and hunger and raw desire. Because I made you so hot you had to find a way to quench the flames. Not because of any crazy notion of love."
"The passion comes from love. That's why there is marriage. Hawke and Callie love each other."
Slade shook his head to deny her statement.
"Men marry because of passion, not love," he said after a moment of thought. "Women hold out their favors until they have the man so hot and ragged that he can't think straight. Then they take them by the nose and lead them to the church."
"That's too jaded even for you," Lainie whispered, her heart filled with longing and regret. She'd willingly given herself to a hard man who would never love her, wed her, or give her children.
Slade winced. "I won't lie to you, Lainie. I'm jaded for good reason. I guess I believed in love once. But I was taught by the most cunning of women that it doesn't exist."
"Lady Anna?"
"You remember," he said.
"I remember too much and not enough."
~ * ~
"I'll kill him!" Hawke's fist claimed the solid oak table hard. Goblets rocked and blood red wine splashed out and onto the table only to slither over the side and pool on the floor.
Ian leaned against the wall, his arms crossed, watching his brother. "Don't you think you should give the Englishman a chance to explain?"
"Not if he's touched her. Not if he hurt her any way. Sweet Jesu, but she had no business--"
"She had no business leaving the castle, but she did. She had no business joining ranks with cutthroats and mercenaries, but she did," Ian said. "Despite any reservations I have about the man, he deserves a chance to explain."
"Hawke," Callie stepped forward and touched her husband on the back. The tender caress sent a tremor through him. "We don't even know she is with Aaron Slade. Besides, I've heard he's a good man. I’m more afraid of the bounty that is on her head than the man."
Hawke whirled, stifling his anger and frustration, not wishing to take his ragged emotions out on his wife. "I've heard he's a lady's man. And the bounty is Bertram’s doing. I can pay him off."
"Aaron Slade is a gentleman," Callie reminded Hawke.
"Because of the bounty on her head, Slade was sent to bring her to Edinburgh. So why isn't she here?"
"There is something she is not telling you. You must be patient with her," Keely, spoke up.
Ian pushed away from the wall and strode to his wife, Keely. He held her hand in his and turned it over, touching the lines in her palm. "You've had a dream--a premonition?"
She nodded. "Aye, and know she is safe. Aaron Slade has not hurt her nor does he intend to."
"What has happened here? By God, Keely, tell us where she is and what happened to her," Hawke demanded.
Keely shook her head. "I cannot betray your sister. It is up to Lainie to tell her story, not me."
Hawke felt the rage well up inside him once more. Callie circled his waist with her arm and leaned into him. Her warmth comforted, but he was far too worried about his little sister to find relief.
"You will have to find her," Callie said.
"There are not too many paths that can be taken. Perhaps she is headed toward the castle."
"No Englishman, a soldier, would defy orders in favor of a MacPherson," Ian said. “I cannot believe any good intentions exist here.”
"Then the two of you must hurry. I have the feeling that putting her in the hands of Bertram would not be healthy for her," Keely said, closing her eyes as if she looked into the future.
"I swear--" Hawke began, looking at Keely.
"Do not go there," Ian warned. "Keely would tell us where to find her if she knew." He looked into her amber eyes and realized how difficult it was for her to keep the knowledge she held to herself.
"I see a small loch. The way there is fraught with dangerous cliffs and narrow trails. Men seek them out. Do you know of such a place?" she queried.
Ian nodded. "'Tis not on the way to Edinburgh."
"'Tis the way home. He is taking her to the castle," Hawke murmured, relief sweeping through him only to be changed to frustration and anger.
"That should please us all. So why do I still see the fury in your eyes, husband?" Callie asked.
"If he has harmed her or seduced her, I will see them wed the minute they are on our land." Hawke drank long and deep of the wine still left in his goblet then set it on the table. Fear for Lainie seeped into every thought. He closed his eyes for a moment, seeking some form of solace yet knowing nothing would be right until she was safe in her home.
"Our little sister had best still be a virgin when she arrives at the castle," Ian spoke in soft tones.
Keely blanched.
"What is it, Keely? Is she no' a virgin?" Ian asked.
"Her innocence was not taken by Aaron Slade. But I can tell you no more," Keely said.
"But I can. I warned her months ago the truth needed telling, but she refused." Catriona, Lainie's maid, entered the room with a tray of flat bread and cheese. "Bertram raped her."
"'Tis a dead man, he is," Hawke said with a cold determination.
"Nay," Callie held onto Hawke's arm. "I'm thinking that is the very reason Lainie did not speak of this. She knew you would race to her defense."
"Aye," Keely agreed. "She did not want the two of you and Lachlan also to go off half-cocked to kill the English General. The act would get the both of you hanged."
"Will killing the Englishman get us hanged?" Hawke queried softly, thinking of putting his hands around the man's neck.
"Aye, most likely," both Keely and Callie replied.
Chapter Fifteen
MacPherson land was no longer so far away. With each step of the horses, Slade prayed the unwelcome welcome the MacPherson brothers would have for him, would not end with someone's death.
If Lainie were his sister, he would murder the bastard who had taken her innocence.
In his mind, it wasn't Bertram who had torn away Lainie's virtue. Bertram had cruelly and viciously taken her maidenhead, but he, Aaron Slade, had swept a way her innocence. And he had done the deed with no promises of marriage or vows of love.
Not only had he changed Lainie forever, but he'd hurt her. The pain he caused was what he was least able to forgive himself for creating. Even now, he wondered if she was with child. And if she was, what would he do?
He pulled Baby to a stop and turned to Lainie. "Have you given any thought to what you are going to tell your brothers when I get you home?"
"Nay," Lainie said, but her eyes widened and she sounded surprised. "What do you mean? I dinna have to tell them anything."
"I mean, if I were your brother, I'd skewer me through
," he said.
Lainie gave a quick little laugh then nodded. "Only if they guessed or I told them what we did. I’ve no intentions along those lines."
"Well," he prodded at her lack of an answer. "Are you going to tell them? Or will you have to tell them?"
"I will tell them you were a gentleman as well as an officer."
"And anyone who has heard of my reputation will know you lie." He wasn't sure why he cared. It wasn't for his sake. However, he didn't want any labels put on the girl who he had changed to a woman. Lainie had survived the rape and now after spending weeks alone with him, the conjecture about her would be just as bad. Even with the McPherson wealth, she would not be able to find a husband.
"What I do is none of their business," she told him, her voice flat and void of all emotion.
He maneuvered his horse next to Lainie, saw the unshaken resolve in her eyes, and reached for her. He bent over and wrapped his hand around her neck, pulling her to meet the quick, fierce claiming of his lips. When he finally let her go, she gave him a look that was both surprised and…passionate.
He grinned. "Did you think that if I gave you pleasure once, I would be finished with you?"
A rush of color to Lainie's cheeks, gave Slade a wealth of information. His smile widened.
"If I recall what little thinking I did, backfired."
Slade laughed and nibbled lightly at her mouth, running his tongue along the smooth soft seam, urging her to open herself to him yet again.
"You're so much fun to tease," he said, his body humming with raw hunger and unleashed passion. "I can't figure out why I didn't wake you up this morning and start all over where we left off at the falls. I wanted to."
"Why didn't you?"
"If I woke you the way I dreamed, we'd still be there."
The scarlet deepened in Lainie's cheeks, but she laughed anyway. "You're incorrigible."
Almost as if she remembered something she didn't like, she stopped laughing. Slade watched the crystal clarity of her eyes dim and the slight curve of her lips take a downward turn.
"But I decided it was too soon," Slade continued. "I didn't want to hurt you again." And why was he always so concerned about hurting her. He'd never hurt a woman before, and there was no reason to think making love with Lainie would cause her pain.
Physical pain, but Lainie's pain came from the inside out and went as deep as her core. Moreover, he knew that when he gave her into her brother's safekeeping, he would hurt her. Her brothers would never look at her in the same light again.
"I'm fine," she said, looking as if her mind was in another century. "You don't need to concern yourself with me."
"You sure?" Slade asked, running a lazy finger along her collarbone. "We could stop here and--"
"Yes," she said. "I'm fine. All that is wrong with me," she continued after inhaling a long, deep breath, "is that I get all shivery and have trouble breathing when I think about what we…about what ye…about what I…"
Lainie made an exasperated sound. Slade watched silently as if he were amused.
"You're laughing at me," she accused. "You're just too much of a gentleman to let me hear you."
"No, little darling. I'm laughing because you go straight to my head like good French brandy. The back of Slade's hand smoothed down Lainie's cheek in a tender caress. "If I could have my way with you right now, I would."
She looked away, her cheeks burning anew.
"I don't think--"
"It's not about thinking. I've needed you ever since I woke up. I don't think I can wait much longer."
Slade pulled lightly on the reins. Baby backed up, removing her rider from temptation.
"Come on," he said to Lainie. "The sooner we get moving, the sooner we can make camp."
"What about Jericho?"
"He's got a long way to go before he can get around those mountains. I'll wager he goes back to Bertram, and reports that I have you. If we meet up with him again, it'll be real close to MacPherson land. We might have to make a run for it. Until then, let's put some real distance down the trail."
Slade urged his horse forward. The riding here was easy and they made good time. Slade listened for anyone following them. He hadn't forgotten how easy it was to sneak up on a man. And Jericho might not be the only bounty hunters after Lainie.
No shadows danced on the back trail, and Slade's gut feeling told him no one was close. They rode until the sun went down, and the velvet night shown bright with stars.
It wasn't until he heard Lainie's little sigh of exhaustion that Slade realized how tired he was. As usual, he'd pushed her too hard.
"We'll make camp here," he said. They had ridden into a copse of thick trees where little moonlight made it through the branches.
He dismounted quickly and reached up to help Lainie from her horse. His hands tightened around her waist and before he let her feet reach the ground, he brushed his lips over hers.
She laughed and kissed him back. Then she stepped back and looked at Slade.
"What is it?" Slade asked.
"I'm thinking about home."
Wondering what kind of reception Hawke and Ian would give them, left her smiling. Callie would run interference for her. Lainie wasn't about to tell her brothers they'd made love, and unless Slade changed his mind about marriage, he wouldn't tell them either.
"You know your brothers will want to defend your honor," he told her. "I would expect nothing less."
Her secrets were just that. Secrets.
"They won't murder a man for bringing their sister home."
He grinned, "You're sure?"
She nodded, enjoying this new Slade. His newfound ease with her made her happy. He hadn't been so quick to laughter since he'd left his sisters home where he'd been able to let down his guard. "Well, almost sure."
Moreover, he was treating Lainie now as if he didn't have to protect his heart.
He paused, listening and searching the glade for any sign of danger. For a few minutes, all Lainie was aware of was the chatter of squirrels, the rustle of leaves and the scent of heather,
"I'll get wood for the fire," Slade said, seeming to be satisfied with their safety.
She nodded and began unloading the horses. She rolled out the blankets, then rummaged through the saddlebags for food and water.
He returned quickly and started a small blaze. Dry twigs snapped and tiny flames shot skyward.
"Hungry?" he asked.
"Famished," she said.
"Me too."
Lainie heard the need in Slade's voice, and realized he wasn't talking about food at all. She wanted to laugh out loud. She loved the lazy teasing that had grown between them since the day before. She loved being able to turn around and find Slade watching her with warmth in his eyes instead of anger or raw desire. She loved hearing pleasure in his voice, and knowing that he was enjoying just being with her. She loved…
"Slade."
"No nibbling," he warned, tempting her with food. 'You have to wait for dinner."
Slade traced her lip with a finger then fed her a piece of cheese.
"I wasn't going to nibble," she said quietly. "I thought you were talking about something else."
'I was." Leaning over, he lifted Lainie from the ground and holding her, he settled down on the bedroll and cradled her in his arms. "All I can think about is touching you. It's a burning need inside threatening to boil over. I want to look at you, naked and stretched out in the firelight."
Lainie looked up, thinking how short her time with Slade was going to be. Already she was beginning to recognize landmarks, places her brothers had taken her once so long ago. She didn't want to tell Slade they would be home in a few days.
"What are you thinking?" Slade asked. 'Your eyes look as if you are far away in some distant place where only you can go." He stroked her hair and rubbed a strand between his thumb and forefinger.
Lainie closed her eyes and nodded, wishing he was touching other parts of her but afraid to ask.
"Lainie?"
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I was just thinking."
"Of what?"
She gave a short little laugh. "Of what my life is going to be like without you."
Empty. My life will be a huge dark hole with no life inside.
He bent and gave her a butterfly kiss. Then his arms tightened around her, holding her close as if he didn't ever want to let her go.
Highland Song Page 26