Slade had never felt as miserable and as alone as he did at this moment. He sat in a daze, watching the heather and the grass move in the slight breeze that came from the north. Today was the first day in several his head didn't pound, and the swaying bushes he saw were really swaying and not caused by the dizziness in his head. The nausea had subsided but the pain of betrayal had not.
It wasn't the loneliness that bothered Slade, or the raw pain that ripped through his heart. It was thinking about a girl who had abandoned him as easily as she had stolen from him. When he had asked about Hawke, Lachlan told him Hawke had taken Lainie to MacPherson castle. Slade didn't mention her name again. Neither did anyone else. The interrogation he had expected from her brother and Lachlan never materialized.
The memories of Lainie were bittersweet, but he couldn't erase them from his head. And he refused to acknowledge the sweet times he had spent with Lainie because the grief that ripped through him with the recollections were more than he could tolerate. Now even the remembrance of their shared passion was so painful he chose to sweep it from his mind.
Yet the pain did not subside.
Approached Jericho. Bartered with Jericho. Tried to sell herself…
Eventually Slade became aware of Ian standing nearby, watching him with knowing silent eyes.
"Sure would be nice if you told me what happened between you and Lainie. I wouldn't have to skewer you through if I liked what you said, and it sure might shed some light on why she left so abruptly--and with tears in her eyes."
Slade grunted but didn't acknowledge Ian's not so subtle query.
The look in Ian's eyes was a warning any man other than Slade would have paid attention to. Slade didn't heed the warning because he was itching for a fight that would have him thinking about something other than Lainie and hoping it would make the pain go away.
Ian hunkered down next to Slade. "I've been waiting impatiently until your concussion and physical pain no longer hazed over your eyes. Looks like my waiting is over, Englishman."
Once again, Slade grunted. "My head doesn't pound." I don't think my pain will ever go away. So have your way with me, Ian MacPherson.
"Good. I wanted to be sure you ken what I'm about to tell you. We were all real worried about you when all that mud covered you."
The look Slade gave the younger MacPherson brother didn't invite conversation. Ian ignored it and kept talking.
"Well, the story ripped through the lowlands. An Englishman called Slade, and a lass, with the palest white-blond hair anyone ever saw and eyes the color of the summer sky were headed toward Edinburgh. The lass had to be Lainie MacPherson. And it was also rumored there was a bounty on her head."
Slade's heart flinched at the mention of Lainie, but he didn't say anything. He'd expected to be drawn and quartered by the MacPherson brothers. Just because it hadn’t happened yet, didn’t mean it wouldn’t.
"When we arrived in Edinburgh Lainie wasn't there. I was talking to Bertram with my big brother when I heard you had been in a tight spot with Jericho and his mercenaries forcing you into some pretty rough terrain," Ian said. "I was afraid for my little sister."
"That's right," Slade said, his voice tight.
"After we convinced Bertram the charges against Lainie were phony, we got out of the city as fast as we could and discovered you'd done some pretty fancy maneuverings. Strategy that sent Jericho packing."
Slade felt the chill of Ian's eyes. "It was a close call."
"That's what Hawke said when he studied your trail. Neither one of wanted to see our sister pinned down like that. We never want to see her hurt again. Too much has happened to her. So, Aaron Slade, what did you do to my sister? She only runs when the pain she feels is too much for her to cope with."
Slade looked away from the big man who was asking questions he didn't want to give the answers to, not because he was afraid but because they were private. If Lainie wanted to tell the MacPhersons what they shared then so be it, but he wasn't about to. Right now, he was having a devil of a time trying to forget the times when he had laughed and breathed in the heady fragrance of roses from Lainie's skin, her hair, her breasts. Even now, the thought of Lainie made him harden with the need and the raw hunger he felt was unbearable.
"Seems I've got instructions to bring you home with me," Ian paused. "If there is a reason to think Lainie might be with child…"
Slade flinched again. Though he should shake off Ian's question, he was always careful. But the truth was, he'd wanted Lainie so intensely, he'd thrown precaution to the wind. Lainie could be carrying his child.
"So what is it?" Ian asked sardonically. "Appears you've had a pretty sweet deal since you picked Lainie up at the tavern. You've used her and now you're tossing her away? Is that right, Englishman?"
"Why don't you ask her about it?" Slade said. "I'm sure she'll weave a pretty interesting story."
"My brother is probably asking her right now."
Slade's mouth thinned. "She's got fast hands and a quick mind. She'll tell you what she wants you to know. She doesn't need anyone's protection."
No ones protection but mine.
Fool you gave up that right.
Ian pretended not to notice the derogatory undertones of Slade's words.
"We talked to Bertram. Almost killed the man. But Hawke convinced the good general his health would be much better if he was reassigned to London. Lainie no longer need fear Bertram. So, if my hunch is right, Lainie is running from the likes of you."
Slade barely heard. He was too busy trying to shut out the memories of Lainie from his head. The memories haunted Slade, reminding him of everything he wanted to forget.
"Then we met up with Jericho and his mercenaries just before the guards were changed," Ian continued. "No sooner had Hawke taken care of them than he heard someone go by. Turned out it was our little sister, on her way to spy on Jericho's camp."
Slade jerked and started to rise.
Ian uncoiled. A single swift motion of his foot brought the Englishman down. The blow was as much a surprise as it was exact.
Slade looked at Ian in shock.
"Calm yourself, Englishman," Slade said flatly. "If I wanted to kill you, it would be done."
"I'm calm and I'm waiting for you to stop talking. I'm waiting for the first punch. Maybe the pain will help me forget her treachery."
"Nothing is going to happen until I've had my say. You want to fight about it. You go right ahead. I'll beat you and you know it."
Slade just rubbed his jaw and eyed Ian warily wondering where he'd learned a move like that.
"I'll teach you how to move like I just did, if I like your explanation when I'm done and if you listen real hard," Ian said.
Slade looked into the icy gray eyes that asked for retribution but waited patiently to find out what had happened. Slade wasn't going to tell Lainie's brother anything. Ian could wait a lifetime.
Ian backed away with a lazy motion and sat on his heels. The appearance of being relaxed didn't fool Slade. If he showed any sign of getting up again, he would be brought down just as swiftly as he had been the first time.
"Hawke found Lainie before Jericho saw her," Ian said. "Seems the lass had some foolish idea about taking Jericho at sword point and offering him the bounty on her head if his men dug you out."
"Is that what she told your brother?"
Ian nodded a grim smile etched across his chiseled features.
"And he believed her?" Slade asked sarcastically. "He doesn't know his little sister very well."
Ian shrugged his shoulders and shifted his position slightly. "Watch what you say Englishman. You best remember you're talking to a MacPherson. We defend our own. Right now, any issues you have with my sister, will be negotiated between the two of us."
Slade squared his shoulders and a mockery of a smile curved his lips. "I don't care what happens to me. Do your worst, MacPherson. She's a liar and a whore and you should know she takes too much enjoyment in picking pocke
ts to stay home for long. The emotions she showing you are a ruse."
“You must have a death wish, Englishman.” Ian's hands fisted and for an instant, Slade thought Ian would knock him unconscious again. It would be a blissful moment of peace if he could escape into the blackness he'd just come from.
“I’m just stating the truth.”
"You're not listening very well, Englishman."
"And you're not telling me anything worth listening to, Scotsman."
Ian grunted his displeasure.
"Marriage has softened your brother's head as well as yours. Your sister was going to trade for her life, not mine," Slade said sardonically.
"The less you say the fewer words I'm going to have to make you eat," Ian growled low in his throat. "But don't let that stop you. I'm going to enjoy every moment I see you groveling."
Slade's eyes narrowed into slits, but he closed his mouth. He was in no shape to take on this Scotsman, no matter how badly he wanted to. Both of them knew it.
"After we took care of the mercenaries, we went to the ravine," Ian said. "Lainie stood there covered with mud from head to heels, cut and scraped and bleeding from trying to dig you out. Tears mixed with rain and mud ran down her cheeks. She refused to let Ian or myself go down because of the danger to us."
Tension began to snake through Slade's body once more as he listened to Ian's story.
"She said she wouldn't have minded killing mercenaries to dig you out," Ian said coolly, "but she wouldn't risk people who had other people who depended on them." Ian paused watching Slade. "She said she didn't have anyone who depended on her or even cared. Is that true, Englishman? Ye dinna care about her?"
"You didn't let her go back down the ravine, did you? Slade asked in a harsh voice, wishing he could believe what Ian was telling him.
"She led us to where you were buried alive then she helped dig you out," Ian said flatly. "Lachlan did most of the digging, but when he rested she took his place and the mud just kept oozing into the holes. She cried and called out your name and still she kept trying to get rid of the mud."
Slade gripped Ian's arm. "Jesu! You should have gotten her out of there, made her stay on top of the mountain!"
"Would you have stayed where it was safe if she'd been stuck beneath a tree and you thought she might have been alive?" retorted Ian. "The two of you are a real pair of stubborn mules."
Slade shook his head. "No way in hell."
Ian's expression softened for a moment.
"Lainie opened a hole big enough for her to fit through," Ian said. "Only Lainie. When it opened up, she was through it before Lachlan or anyone else could stop her or even object. All that mud could have buried her alive along with you."
"What?"
"Somehow she shoved herself through that little hole. She started pushing the mud away from you, and then two more slides shook the mountainside. Lachlan yelled at her to get out but she didn't, she just kept on crying out your name and tugging on your shoulders. You think she'd do that if all she cared about was her own safety? If she felt no loyalty? No love."
Slade's hand clenched on Ian's arm hard enough to leave bruises.
"She didn't get out…" Slade repeated tonelessly. "You’ve been lying to me. Where is she? Where is Lainie?"
"The third slide left an opening that she could pull you through, and somehow she was able to get you through to fresh air. When Lachlan got to her, she was still pulling on you, crying your name, trying to save your life and to hell with her own. Is that a woman who knows naught of loyalty and honor?"
Slade opened his mouth, but no words came through the constriction in his throat.
"You may have found my little sister under questionable circumstances," Ian continued in a savage voice, "but she's more precious to us than life itself. I want the song in her heart to bring her only happiness. I think you hold the key to fill her heart with your song. And if you don't convince me she is precious to you as well, I…"
Eyes closed, his body shaking, Slade fought for control.
"She stayed long enough to hear you run off at the mouth about lying treasonous whores," Ian told him. "Then she washed up, put on a faded dress she's had forever, and rode out of here. She's had enough pain in the last year to last a lifetime and you have only added to it. Convince me you plan on changing that."
Slade put his head in his hands. He had thought he could hurt no more than the moment when had learned of Lainie's betrayal.
He had been wrong.
But Ian was still talking, and Slade was still learning how much pain he could deal with. Moisture filled his eyes.
"She left you a message," Ian said.
With a deceptively easy motion, Ian tossed the letter on his chest. "Don’t know what it says, but I’ll bet it will explain something to you. And here’s another little trinket for you to look at it."
Slade opened the small bag and pulled out the gold button he’d seen once before. Now he knew whose button it was. The tattered blue fabric the button clung to was that of an English soldier.
Bertram…
The agonized expression on Slade's face made Ian regret his harshness but only for a moment. He reached toward Slade, but the Englishman was already on his feet, walking away form the white parchment that had floated lazily to the earth where Slade had been sitting.
"Where are you going?" Ian asked.
Slade didn't answer.
"You’re going to leave Lainie alone now?" Ian called.
"To hell with you," Slade said savagely.
He wasn't going to stop until he caught up to the one woman who cared more for him than she did herself. He was a bloody fool.
#
"Stay in your room, please. It's more comfortable," Callie said. "The ship is nice but it will be your home for awhile. And I miss you."
"I can't. There are too many memories I want to forget. When I'm inside the castle, they all come rushing back with a vengeance. I need peace and quiet," Lainie said.
"I'm trying to understand."
"But you don't?" Lainie smiled hesitantly. "I don't think you can. My heart has been ripped apart. I feel as if I have nothing left to give. There is not a second in the day I don’t want to cry. And Lachlan hovers around me as if I might change my mind and agree to be his wife. I couldn't do that to him."
"Then it's not Bertram that's making you run away this time? "Tis Slade, isn't it?" Callie asked, cocking her head to one side as if she were trying to understand. “Why don’t you fight for him?”
Lainie shook her head. "No, 'Tis not Slade and 'tis not Bertram either. Did Catriona tell everyone?"
"Just your brothers. She thought it was time the truth was told, and she also believed they would not do something foolish as you should have believed in your family to help you."
Lainie gave a bitter little laugh. "I know Hawke."
"Lainie MacPherson, I would turn you over my knee if you weren't already hurting so much. You give me too little credit. I would have understood," Hawke said, walking into the solar in time to hear the end of the conversation.
"No, big brother, you would have sought revenge first and asked questions later. It was better this way."
“Who was it better for? Look at yourself.”
A drawn smile flickered across Lainie's face. She stood on tiptoe and brushed a kiss over her brother's cheek.
"You're a strong man, Hawke and a caring one. When I'm ready, I'll come home," she whispered. "I promise."
"You can't always run from your troubles," Hawke told her.
"I know that is what this looks like I'm doing. But I know what's going to help me feel better and staying here pining for what I don't have will only make me feel worse."
"If you've made up your mind and none of us can change it, we'll set sail at dawn. Otherwise you'll go off alone, and though you've done it before, I want to offer protection this time."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome," Hawke said. "What about Lachlan? Do you ha
ve any room in your heart for the man?"
Lainie shook her head, a wave of guilt and remorse settling in the pit of her stomach. "I don't love him," she said simply, knowing it would be a long time before she would let anyone else into her heart or her bed.
"I thought I would ask." Hawke said. "Then it's settled. But when Slade realizes I've sent you to France and has to find a ship of his own to go after you, be sure to tell him it was your idea."
"Slade won't come after me," Lainie said. Then she turned and walked quickly toward the door that led to the hidden tunnel. She would sleep on Hawke's ship tonight. Before she left, she turned to Hawke, "You sure it isn't going to China. I wouldn't mind an adventure. France seems so tame."
Highland Song Page 33