by Tina Martin
For the first time, Shayla grew comfortable enough to kiss him and as she felt their lips magnetizing, she lost herself in his eyes, intrigued by the mystery behind them. He was motionless, as if waiting for her to make the first move.
Carter wanted to kiss her, but he wouldn’t allow himself to. And knowing her nature, he was positive Shayla was not the type of woman to put the moves on a man so her kissing him was not a concern as he, in their quiet moment, mustered up enough willpower to tell himself not to be the aggressor in this situation. Was he attracted to her? Yes, but he was also responsible for taking care of her. Seducing her was not in the plan. Jacob would not have wanted that. He had to put an end to this night and quick.
He sent a quick peck to her jaw. “Goodnight, sweetheart,” he told her, sliding for the edge of the bed.
Shayla propped up on her elbow now and frowned as he walked away from the bed. “Where you going?”
“I’m gonna go back to my room…let you get your rest.”
“Why can’t you stay?” she asked needful, shy of begging.
“Um…” Carter said, stopping in his tracks. He turned around and looked at her, lying there, waiting for him. “I don’t wanna disturb your rest.”
He walked away again, and as he turned the doorknob, he heard Shayla whisper, “Don’t go.”
Carter swallowed hard, turned around and looked at her again. “Shay, I—”
“Please?” she pouted.
After thinking of ways he could extinguish the fire burning within him, he said, “Okay. Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.”
Shayla smiled, satisfied with that and laid down again.
Carter walked down the hall to his bedroom, on to the bathroom, turned on the sink and splashed cold water against his face. Holding Shayla was unlike any physical connection he’d ever experienced with a woman. That scared him. He never had a breach in the thick concrete wall he built around his heart before, but with Shayla, the wall came crumbling down – his heart’s way of telling him this was it. This was the woman he could care for and love. And the time to do it was now.
Carter turned off the faucet, took a towel and blotted his face dry. “What’s happening to me?” he asked himself out loud. Even though he tried to cool himself off with cold water, he could still feel hot blood rushing through his veins at the sight of her lying there, so beautiful. All he wanted to do was love her, but he knew he had no right.
He walked out of the bathroom and headed back to her room. He crept closer to her bed, noticing her eyes were closed.
“Shayla,” he whispered.
“Yeah,” she said faintly, opening her eyes.
“Oh. I thought you were sleep.” I wish you were sleep, he thought.
“No. I was waiting for you. Come here.”
Carter climbed in bed again, closed his eyes and willed himself not to feel something for her. But to deny the feelings that dominated his heart, would be like telling himself he didn’t need air to breathe.
Shayla scooted closer to him again, staring in his face. Same as before. “You are a handsome man,” she told him in a drowsy slur.
Carter laughed it off. “Shay, you talkin’ crazy. Go to sleep, hun.”
“I’m not talking crazy. You’re beautiful. How do you handle being so gorgeous?” She watched him smile again and continued, “I know you must get a hundred numbers a day. And the crazy thing is, when women look at you, I know they only see how attractive you are but I can see far beyond that.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Like what?” he asked out of curiosity, to determine if she was being real, or blowing hot air. “What can you see in me?”
“I see you have a good heart. You took me in when I had no one, even though you probably thought I was the scum of the earth—”
“I didn’t think that about you.”
“Well, even if you did, you didn’t abandon me.” She touched his face gently with her fingertips, watched him close his eyes while a small disturbance appeared in his forehead. “Why are you frowning?”
“It’s nothing,” Carter said, dismissing his own feelings. Just a slight touch from her was enough to make him yearn for her.
She stroked the side of his face again and ran her thumb over his mouth.
Carter opened his mouth and attempted to snatch her thumb between his lips, trying to turn a romantic, intense situation into something light and playful instead.
Shayla laughed, quickly pulled her hand away from his mouth.
“Nah, don’t be scared now,” he taunted her, trying to pull her hand to his mouth again.
“Carter,” she said giggling. “Okay, okay.”
He let her hand go and watched her stare back at him.
“Goodnight, Carter.” She snuggled her face against his chest while still lying immediately in front of him. She inhaled deeply to capture his comforting scent, pressing her lips against his chest. Then she threw an arm around his back, dragged her nails up and down ever so softly, feeling his breathing quicken to match his heartbeat.
Carter sucked in a long breath. “Shayla,” he managed to say, before taking another breath. Had he ever felt so good being touched by a woman?
Shayla kissed his chest again. A peck here. One there, making a trail to his neck, setting his soul ablaze.
“Shayla…Shayla, don’t.”
“Don’t what?” She stared into his eyes again, down to his lips and back up again. Then she made a move, leaning in, aiming her lips towards his, placing a soft peck on his lips.
“Shay,” Carter said softly as he gasped for air trying to force himself not to feel, but he cared so much for her.
Shayla’s bottom lip became wedged between his and for a moment, he went with it, kissed her, his hand gripping the back of her head as their lips danced, his lips taking the lead, then hers. But Jacob’s letter flashed in his mind. He couldn’t do this…couldn’t take his brother’s girl.
Shayla squeezed her hand around his firm biceps and took another peck from his lips.
“Shayla…” he said nervously, his breathing forced. “I’m gonna go. I can’t do this with you. I’m sorry.” Carter pulled himself up and walked away from her, yet again, silently closing her bedroom door.
In his room now, he sat on the bed, holding his head. What are you doing, Carter, he asked himself, but had no answer. He pulled his night stand drawer open and took Jacob’s obituary into his hands. Staring at Jacob’s photo, he remembered his brother’s last words, his final wish. His hands trembled. Was his respect for his brother stronger than the emotions he had for Shayla?
Chapter 22
Carter stayed at work longer than usual the next day, trying to figure out what was happening to him without having to confront Shayla. Even after he was home at 8:00 p.m., he made plans to go over some documents with Dwayne – one of his direct reports, and immediately following that, his friend Terrance was due to come over to play card games.
Shayla was in the kitchen when she heard the doorbell. Since Carter was still in the den with Dwayne, she answered the door.
“Hey,” Terrance said, staring her up and down. He noticed she was skinny, a very beautiful girl, and he wondered if she was the homeless woman Carter had been referring to, the woman the he was now getting the opportunity to meet.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know who you are,” Shayla told him.
“I’m Carter’s friend, Terrance,” he said reluctantly, still not sure yet whom he was talking to. “Are you…Shayla?”
A smile blossomed on her face. “Yes. That’s me. Why don’t you come on in and I’ll see if I can get Carter for you. He’s in the den going over some stuff with one of his workmates. They’ve been in there for a while, but I don’t know how much longer he’s going to be.”
“Well, I’ll call him later.”
“No, wait, come in. I’ll see if I can disturb him for you.”
“All right.” Terrance walked straight to the kitchen
and took some Sun Drop from the fridge.
Shayla tapped on the door to the den and Carter and Dwayne both looked up at her. “Sorry to disturb you guys. Carter, Terrance is here. Should I tell him to come back?”
Carter smiled at her, wondering why she decided to play secretary. And what did she think about the incident between them the night prior? They hadn’t talked about it, mostly because he didn’t know what to say and stayed at work for most of the day. Still, he thought about her, reliving the feel of her lips, her touch, her words. It was all too confusing to process for the bachelor.
“Tell him I’ll be done here, shortly.”
“Okay.” She walked back to the living room and spotted Terrance in the kitchen, sitting at the dinette with a deck of cards in front of him. “Um, Carter said he’ll be done shortly, whatever that means.”
“Ah’ight,” Terrance responded. “You play?”
Shayla looked at him with a raised brow.
“Cards? Do you play cards?”
“Not much. The only game I’m familiar with is blackjack and I’m not too good with that.”
“Ah, c’mon. Anybody can play blackjack. I can play blackjack with my eyes closed. See, watch this.” Terrance closed his eyes, shuffled the deck then passed a card to her and one to himself. He repeated this, turning the second card face up, then opened his eyes.
Shayla giggled. “Why you open your eyes? Thought you could play with them closed?”
“Well, I can’t see the numbers, so I guess that kills my theory.” He watched Shayla smile, impressed with her friendliness.
Meanwhile, Shayla checked him out. He was almost the same height as Carter but stockier, with medium-brown skin and a well-shaved beard. She noticed her had a tattoo on his right forearm and a small diamond stud in his left ear. In her opinion, he didn’t look like the type of guy that would be Carter’s friend. She pictured Carter hanging with someone who rocked suits everyday and worked out on a regular basis – someone who could understand all his business jargon. Terrance seemed like a simple man; definitely not a nine to five (and apparently sometimes eight) debonair bank President like his friend.
“Hey,” she said to get Terrance’s attention. “Anybody ever tell you that you look like Anthony Anderson?”
Terrance smiled at her question. “Anybody ever tell you that you’re beautiful?”
Shayla blushed and took her cards from the table. Yep, he was definitely Carter’s friend. They were both charmers and she knew that Terrance was the one who picked up his game from Carter and not vice versa.
Terrance continued, “But yeah, I hear the Anthony Anderson thing all the time. When me and Carter be out kickin’ it, women be telling me that nonstop. I find it funny how I’m the one who looks like a celebrity but yet he gets all the women.”
“Yeah. Carter is quite the charmer.”
Terrance looked at her, watched her smile as she spoke about Carter and could see an unmistakable glow spread across her face. “So, do you remember how to play blackjack?”
“I think so,” Shayla said. “Get as close to twenty-one without going over, right?”
“Un huh. So do you need another card?”
Shayla looked at her two cards again. She had a king and a four. “Um, yeah. Hit me. That’s what y’all be saying right? Hit me!”
“Oh, look at you.” Terrance laughed. “You got a brother scared over here now.”
Carter peeped from the living room, but neither had noticed him standing there. He had already wrapped up his meeting with Dwayne and was about to walk in the kitchen when he heard Shayla and Terrance laughing and carrying on.
Terrance served Shayla another card. A five. “Let me know if you want another one.”
“Um…I think I’m good,” she said, satisfied with having a total of nineteen with the three cards she already had.
“Okay. Going once, going twice…”
“Nah, I’m gonna stay where I am. Do you need another one?” she asked him.
“Nope. I’m good, ma.”
“Okay, then here’s what I got.” She folded her cards down on the table. “Nineteen. What you got?”
Terrance smiled. “Read ‘em and weep, baby! Twenty-one.” He had a jack and an ace.
“See, told ya I wasn’t good at this.”
“Nah, you did good,” Terrance coached.
“You gotta watch Tee, Shay.” Carter’s deep voice caught Shayla by surprise as he stepped in the kitchen. “He’ll hide cards and everything, especially if he’s wearing long sleeves.”
Terrance chuckled hard. “That was one time, man. One time.”
“Well, rest assured, you don’t have to cheat to beat me. I suck at card games.”
Carter slapped hands with Terrance, officially speaking to him, then walked over to the refrigerator. He took a bottle of water then glanced at Shayla, analyzing her while pondering over what had happened between them last night.
Terrance watched the way Carter stared at her. Then, looking over at Shayla, he saw her silently smile back at Carter like they were having some sort of telepathic communication. What was going on here?
“So, Shayla,” Terrance said. “Are you going to be joining us tonight? Me and Carter get heavy into the card games.”
“Oh, no. I’m gonna go watch TV.” She pushed herself away from the table and stood up.
“You can stay if you like, Shay,” Carter said, his eyes locked on her like a target. “I don’t mind.”
Terrance’s eyes panned over to Carter, then back at Shayla.
“No. You guys carry on as normal,” she told them. “I’ma go watch TV.”
“You sure you don’t wanna stay?” Carter asked, almost sounding insistent.
“Yeah. I’m sure.”
“Okay. Well, we’ll be up pretty late, so if I don’t get the chance to tell you later, have a good night, hun.”
“Goodnight, Carter. Oh, and it was nice to meet you, Terrance.”
“Likewise. Next time I come over, I’ll school you on some card games since my man Carter ain’t showed you how to play.”
“That’s because we’ve been busy doing other things,” Carter said on the defensive, placing the bottle of water on the table and grabbing two Heinekens from the fridge.
“Oh really now?” Terrance said with raised brows. “What kinda things?”
Carter laughed, setting the beers on the table. “Not the kind of things you’re thinking about, I’m sure.”
Shayla smiled, completely embarrassed.
“Anyway, like I said, next time I’m over here, I got you, Shayla,” Terrance told her.
“Okay.” She waved at them then finally walked out of the kitchen and to the family room.
Carter sat down after he’d thrown a bag of Doritos on the table.
“So is that her?” Terrance asked. “That’s the homeless chick you’ve been telling me about?”
“Yeah. That’s her.” Carter turned up the beer to his mouth.
“She’s…ah—”
“Hold that thought,” Carter interrupted. “I’ll be right back.” He stood and left the kitchen, walking to where he knew he’d find Shayla – in the family room.
“Hey,” Shayla said surprised to see that he left his company to join her. “What’s up?”
Carter sat next to her. “I…we really didn’t get a chance to talk about last night and I wanna say that you know I like spending time with you.”
“But,” Shayla said, because she knew it was coming.
“Sweetheart, I don’t want to do something I would regret…that we both would.”
“I agree,” Shayla replied, but really didn’t understand what he was trying to say. What would he regret? Falling in love with someone who was once homeless? Broke? Not his equal? Not good enough for him?
“You understand what I mean, right?” he said evenly.
“Un huh,” Shayla said but didn’t understand a thing. He wasn’t making himself clear and she didn’t think she had any righ
t to tell him that.
“And I didn’t want you to feel like I was being rude or brushing you off, I just—”
“Carter, I understand. Now, go.” She nudged him. “Terrance is waiting on you.”
“You know, you really could join us.”
“No. You go enjoy yourself. Okay? You don’t need me in your way.”
“But you’re not in my way.”
“Okay, well you don’t need me with you every second of the day, now go have fun with your friend. I’ll be aw-right in here. I’m gonna be going to bed shortly anyway.”
Carter leaned in and pressed his lips against her temple. “Goodnight.” He watched a smile grow on her face and without hesitation, pressed his lips against hers.
“Goodnight, Carter,” she said after their lips separated. But what kind of contradictory kiss was that?
Carter kissed her cheek, had good mind to tell Terrance to leave so he could spend the night with Shayla. That’s really what he wanted. Card games could wait for another day.
Instead, he walked back to the kitchen sat down again, watching Terrance analyze him.
“Couldn’t be away from her for one second, huh?” Terrance teased.
“Forgot to tell her something. That’s all.”
Terrance turned up a beer to his mouth. “Man…she’s a pretty girl.”
“Uh huh,” Carter said nonchalantly.
“When you said homeless, I thought she was gonna be some tow-down, ugly broad.” Terrance laughed.
Carter didn’t crack a smile. He took another swig of beer.
Terrance continued, “Baby girl got it going on. She was actually homeless, man?”
“Yeah. I was on the way to my building when I saw her lying on the sidewalk.”
“And she was just lying there? All dirty and stuff?”
“Tee, I don’t want to talk about that. She’s right there in the family room?”
“She can’t hear us, dawg.” Terrance shuffled cards.
“Well, I’m not taking that risk, ah’ight? Are we gonna play cards or what?”
“Dang. Ah’ight,” Terrance said, palms up, then took another sip of beer and studied Carter. Had he ever seen him this serious as he spoke about a woman? “She looks pretty young. How old is she?”