Fallen from Grace

by Laura Leone

  "Oh. Don't worry. I have some here." He patted his pocket.

  Her thighs tensed against his arms and she propped herself up on her elbows. "You brought some?"

  "Only two." He grinned. "I'm pretty tired, you know." He slid his hands under her hips to pull her into a better position for this.

  "You brought some?"

  "Well, I figured we'd have a big fight, and then we'd have sex. Stop wriggling."

  "You brought condoms." She shook her head.

  "There's no law against foolish hope. Besides, here we are, so I was right." He grasped her hips firmly and lowered his head.

  "Um, Ryan..." She was shifting restlessly again.

  "Now what?"

  "I, uh..."

  He looked up and met her embarrassed gaze. "Ah. You're shy about this?" When she nodded, he smiled and nuzzled her thigh. "Well, I'll just have to help you get over that, won't I?"

  Chapter Seventeen

  When Ryan arrived at the townhouse in Cow Hollow, Catherine was talking on the phone. Her assistant, Jolie, was feeding the contents of client files into a paper shredder

  Catherine's hair was swept into an elegant chignon, and she was wearing a dark green suit that complimented both her figure and her coloring. Ryan had always thought her the most beautiful, stylish woman he'd ever known, and his being in love with another woman didn't change that.

  Nonetheless, he was in love with another woman, and he couldn't lose her. So despite what he owed Catherine and despite what bargains they had made, it was time for him to quit the trade and start a new life.

  He was practically quivering with fatigue now, after having made love so many times since yesterday's sunset. He was still young, but no one was that young.

  As he caught Catherine's eye, he admitted to himself that some of his near-quivering state was also due to nerves. He expected a big thunderstorm from her when he broke the news, and he wasn't looking forward to it.

  She glanced at the clock, frowned at him, and finished her call. Then she said, "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your way to the airport right now."

  Shit. He'd been so tired, happy, and nervous, he hadn't even thought about the time. The fact that he was screwing up a big job for her at this very moment was going to make this conversation go even worse than he'd anticipated.

  "What's going on here?" he asked, watching Jolie feed more paper into the shredder.

  "There may be a search warrant," Catherine said, looking tense. "Possibly as early as tomorrow."

  "Oh. Because of what's-his-face. Trevor."

  "Trevor," she agreed. "He's talking a lot." With a coldly furious expression, she added, "He's inventing half of it, but that won't protect me from an unconscionable invasion of privacy."

  "Oh. I'm sorry." Well, he'd picked just a great day to come in and tell her he was quitting. With an inward sigh, he decided he might as well get it over with as quickly as possible. "Can we talk, Catherine?" With a glance at Jolie, he added, "Privately?"

  Catherine's expression grew a little colder. She said, "Jolie, would you mind leaving us alone for a few minutes?"

  Jolie nodded, her expression full of open curiosity as she made a quick exit. Ryan wondered if she'd listen at the door.

  Catherine leaned against the desk and folded her arms. "Well? Explain yourself."

  He glanced at the clock. "I'm sorry about today's job. I kind of forgot all about it."

  "You forgot?" She made an obvious effort to control her already-frayed temper. "Then you'd better get in your car right now and go take care of it. This is important, Kevin."

  "I know it's worth a lot of money to you. If I had remembered, I would have called early and told you to get someone else."

  "I'm not getting someone else!" she snapped. "Go, Kevin."

  "I'm not going."

  Her expression would have chilled him to the marrow in earlier years. "I've had it up to here with your nonsense! This is the third time lately that you've tried to cancel or postpone an appointment at the last minute! Whatever your problem is, sort it out on your own time, Kevin! I will not tolerate—"

  "Catherine, I'm quitting."

  "What?" She stopped her tirade. "Oh. So that's what this is all about. You're thinking about quitting again?"

  "I'm not 'thinking' about it. This is it. My resignation. I quit. It's over. I'm done."

  She headed for the door. "I don't have time to waste on this today. We are not opening this old subject again. Go to the airport. Now, Kevin."

  "I just wanted to tell you in person," he said, not moving. "I thought I owed you that much."

  She paused by the door and looked over her shoulder. "You owe me a lot more than that, as you well know."

  "Yes. I owe you my life," he said. "I'd be dead if it weren't for you."

  "Yes, you would."

  "But I've given you almost ten years, and that's enough."

  Her eyes narrowed. "If it weren't for me, you would also have spent the past two years getting butt-fucked every day."

  "Nice language, Catherine."

  "No, but it's accurate. You know exactly what happens to a beautiful young man in prison, Kevin. Much the same thing that happened to you on the streets."

  "Thank you for keeping me out of prison. I served you instead of serving time." He relied on Sara's argument. "But it's been more than two years. They'd have released me by now. So you should do the same."

  "Don't you dare try to tell me what I should do!" She stalked back to the center of the room. "I saved your life! I taught you everything you know! You were nothing when I met you! A starving, ignorant, scabby street urchin! I taught you how to talk, how to dress, how to walk, how to make love, what to read, what to do! I made you, Kevin! Are you listening to me? Stop! Where are you going?"

  "We've had this conversation before," he said wearily. "Far too many times."

  "We certainly have!"

  "This is the last time."

  "What do you think you're going to do if you leave me now? How do you expect to survive?"

  "I'll manage."

  "Oh, really? Doing what?" she asked. "You know how to do one job, Kevin. The job I taught you."

  "Maybe so, but I've got a job interview later." He'd phoned Isabel earlier today, a little while after slow, tender, late-morning sex and right before a really big breakfast.

  "You can't be serious."

  "I am."

  "Where?"

  "It's called Safe House." He smiled involuntarily, feeling excited and a little self-conscious. "I think I'm going to try to help kids get off the streets."

  "You? Working with kids? They'll never let you, Kevin. You're a prostitute with an arrest record."

  "I just became an ex-prostitute. And they know about my record."

  "What are you playing at?"

  "I'm serious, Catherine. I've quit. If I don't get a job at Safe House, then, somehow or other, I'll find something else."

  "You're not fit for anything else! I pay you very well for the one thing that you do very well."

  "I'm leaving."

  "No, you're not!"

  He sighed, feeling no desire to shout back or to convince her, though he always had in the past. "I suppose we fought so badly about this whenever we discussed it before because I always wanted you to agree. To let me go. To forgive me." He shrugged. "To give your permission."

  "Well, it won't happen. So give it up, Kevin!"

  "I'm sorry it won't happen. I would have liked it better that way. But, even so, I'm finished with this life. If you can't forgive me for that now—"

  "You're not finished until I say you're finished!"

  "—maybe you'll be able to forgive me later. After you've gotten used to me being gone."

  "You promised you would give up the idea of leaving! When I saved you from prison, you promised me."

  "I'm asking you to release me from my promise."

  "No!"

  He didn't bother to ask why she wouldn't let him go
the way she'd always let others go when they decided to leave. They'd had that conversation far too many times, too.

  "I didn't come here to fight about this."

  "What's going on?" she demanded.

  "I just thought that, after everything that's been between us over the years..."

  "Something's going on," she said. "You've been acting strangely for weeks. Even before you got spooked by that arrest."

  "How is Derrick?" he asked dryly. "Did that lip heal all right?"

  Her gaze flickered to the door. "He's fine."

  "He's here now?" When she didn't reply, he snorted with sudden amusement. "Ohhh. He's upstairs. So that melodrama we all performed together brought you two closer together, did it?"

  "He's eager to please." She added, "The way you once were."

  "Comparing me to him really undermines any nostalgia I might have had about our past, Catherine." He shook his head. "Look, you've done a lot for me, and once upon a time, you meant a lot to me."

  "You're not leaving me."

  "So I didn't want to just do this over the phone. I thought..." Phone. He closed his eyes in momentary exasperation as he realized, "I forgot my cell phone. I'm sorry. I meant to give it to you today." He'd been so upset about Sara last night when he put the phone down, he wasn't even sure where he'd left it. "I'll drop it off another time."

  "You don't know what you're—"

  "It's yours, after all. But I'm not. Not anymore."

  "Where do you think you're—Stop! Kevin!"

  He opened the door. "I'll always be grateful—"

  "Close that door! We're not through!"

  "—for everything you've done for me."

  "Close the goddamn door!"

  "Tell my regulars whatever you want to tell them."

  "Don't you dare walk away from me!"

  "Goodbye, Catherine."

  "Kevin! Come back here!"

  He left the room and encountered Jolie's wide-eyed stare.

  "Kevin!" Catherine shouted, following him out of her office.

  He crossed the floor and headed for the front door. As he was reaching for the handle, Catherine startled him by throwing herself in front of the door.

  "You're not really leaving. This is a bluff! What do you want? More money? Is that it?"

  He took her by the arms and moved her out of his way.

  "I know the sixty-forty split has been hard on you," she said. "We'll go back to fifty-fifty."

  He opened the door and kept her from blocking his way again.

  "Fifty-fifty, Kevin!"

  He shook her off his arm.

  "You want forty-sixty?"

  He walked through the door and down the path.

  "What is it, then? What do you want?"

  When he reached the street, he heard her shout, "Kevin! Goddamn you, come back here!"

  He took a shaky breath and kept on walking.

  #

  Sara awoke with a start when the phone next to her bed rang. She picked it up and mumbled, "Hello?"

  "Sorry, did I wake you?" Ryan said.

  "Mmmm." She smiled and sank back into the pillows. "Hi."

  "Hi."

  "What time is it?" she asked sleepily.

  "Almost six o'clock."

  "Omigosh! I've been sleeping for four hours!"

  "You needed it. Actually, I need it."

  "When are you coming home?"

  "Not for a few hours."

  "So how did it go?"

  "Oh, telling Catherine I quit was almost as much fun as getting a major dental procedure."

  "Oh." She bit her lip. "Are you okay?"

  "I'm just glad it's over."

  "Was she awful to you?"

  "I left before she could get as awful as she really wanted to get. But it was pretty grim, even so."

  "But it's over, right? You're done?"

  "I'm done."

  Something in his voice bothered her. "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing." After a pause, he said, "I'm done, and I was very clear about being done. I'm just not sure she accepts it yet."

  "She'll have to, though."

  "Yes, she will." When she didn't say anything, he said, "I'm really finished with her, Sara. It's over."

  She smiled again. "I love you."

  "So... what are you wearing?"

  She laughed. "Where are you now? Safe House?"

  "Yeah. Actually, I went looking for Adam first, before I came here. I'm kind of worried. I couldn't find him."

  "He's avoiding you?"

  "I don't know. Maybe. Or maybe..."

  "You said he was still very angry at you yesterday."

  "Yeah."

  "So he's probably avoiding you."

  "But when a homeless kid avoids you, he can really avoid you. I mean, he can disappear forever."

  "You think he would do that?"

  "He might. If he thinks I'm trying to put him back in a place like the one he ran away from."

  "What are you going to do?"

  "Well, after I leave here later, I'll go looking for him again. And if I don't find him..." He sighed. "Just keep looking, I guess. Could you walk Macy for me tonight, in case I'm out late?"

  "Sure. But, Ryan, I don't like the idea of you looking for Adam after dark."

  "Honey, I lived on those streets for a long time when I was smaller and a lot weaker. I'll be okay."

  She didn't like it, but she supposed he had a point. "So you'll be at Safe House for a while?"

  "Oh! Yes. That's what I called to tell you. I've just gotten my very first real job."

  "Ryan! That's wonderful!"

  "Yeah. I told Isabel that her lectures to me about giving up prostitution and doing important work with Safe House had such a huge effect on me that I quit the trade today."

  "But you quit because of me."

  "Yeah, well, I wasn't going to tell her that. I really need a job."

  "Ah. So you applied a little leverage."

  "You bet."

  "Smart."

  "I get by. I also told her that I don't want to wind up homeless again now that she's convinced me to go straight."

  "Nice touch."

  "I thought so. Anyhow, I said I'd throw myself into the work, but I needed to be paid."

  "I gather it worked?"

  "I start tomorrow."

  "I'm so proud of you!"

  "You won't be so proud when you see my first paycheck. They're starting me out at less money than Adam makes picking pockets."

  "I'm proud of you."

  "Isabel says that if I do good work, they'll even pay me a real salary some day. She just needs to get more funding, or juggle resources, or something like that. When she got into the administrative doubletalk, I kind of lost her."

  "Well, we can reduce our expenses for a while."

  "We?"

  "I'm pinching pennies, too, you know."

  "So what do you have in mind?"

  She rolled onto her side and cradled the phone. "We could cut down on rent, for example."

  "You mean, live together?"

  "Uh-huh." She waited for his response.

  "Before you make that offer definite, you should know that I have some bad habits."

  She smiled. "Such as?"

  "I drink straight out of the milk carton. And the water pitcher."

  "I hate when men do that! What's wrong with a glass, I ask you?"

  "And I use all the hot water."

  "I already know that. We share a water tank."

  "Oh, right. You do know that."

  "Anyhow, I have some bad habits, too."

  "Such as?" She could hear the smile in his voice.

  "Well... I'm not very tidy."

  "Now you're shocking me."

  "And I can be a little moody," she said.

  "You don't say?"

  "Especially when my work's not going well."

  "I never would have noticed," he said.

  "Plus, my family's a little annoying."

  "Oh,
they're okay."

  "So what do you think?" she asked.

  "I think one of us should give notice to Lance."

  "Really?"

  "Yeah. Really."

  "Okay," she said. "You do it."

  "Hey, why me?"

  "Because I'd rather hit myself repeatedly in the head with a brick than move again this year."

  "Oh. Okay. That's a good reason. I'll be the one to give up my apartment, then."

  "Good."

  "So we're really going to live together?" he said.

  "Yes." She squeezed the phone. "I'm glad."

  "So am I." After a moment, he said, "I'll talk to Lance tomorrow."

  "We have too much stuff for this apartment," she warned.

  "You have too much stuff for that apartment."

  "We'll have to figure out what we're going to put into storage until we're able to afford a bigger place."

  "Well, I think it's obvious that we have to keep my leather chair with us, or your father will never approve of me."

  She grinned and was about to reply when she heard him talking to someone else.

  "Sorry, honey," he said after a moment. "I've got to go."

  "They want you to work now?"

  "They want me to fill out a million forms now. And then they want to test me."

  "Test you?"

  "For drugs. And nasty diseases."

  "Oh!"

  "Don't worry. They're not going to touch anything that belongs to you now."

  "Well, that's good."

  "I've got to go."

  "I'll see you when you get home," she said.

  "I love you."

  "Be careful tonight."

  #

  When Sara heard rain hit the roof and the windows, she turned off her computer, found her flashlight, and got out some candles and matches. She had learned her lesson well.

  Then she remembered that Mrs. Thatcher was out on the balcony. So she went into Ryan's apartment, found his welder's gloves, and brought the mad bird's cage inside.

  Macy woke up, noticed Sara, and came over to demonstrate his affection by drooling on her.

  "Hello, Macy." She scratched his ears, suddenly realizing that he was going to be living with her soon. "Wow, I must be in love."

  As long as she was here, she figured she might as well feed the fish, clean Alley's sandbox, and make sure everybody had enough food and water.

  "Hopelessly in love," she muttered.