Maybe I Do

by Nicole McLaughlin

  “Let me just show you these invites really quick and then I can quit bugging you.”

  “You’re never bugging me, Charlotte. Ignore me when I act like an idiot,” he said quietly as she clicked through files.

  “I’ll remember that.” She gave him a weak smile. Once she’d located the folder where she saved the samples, Charlotte turned the screen so Dean could get a good look at her work. “Here is one option. Simple, sophisticated. We could have this one printed on a beautiful pearl paper that would add a little shimmer.”

  “That looks nice,” he said. Charlotte took that as her cue to click onto the next one. He immediately leaned forward. “I like that one better.”

  “This one’s my favorite also. The font is really pretty and I thought the vines at the top added some interest without being ridiculous. I just had this feeling she wasn’t into over-the-top.”

  “You would be correct. But she does like pretty things. She’s still a girl.” He sounded a little defensive.

  “Of course, that’s not what I meant at all.”

  His eyes flickered to hers. “I definitely think this is the one. How much will these cost?”

  “Maybe eighty dollars for all of them. And that includes envelopes.”

  He reached for his wallet. “Will a hundred be fine?”

  Charlotte turned to face him fully. “I said eighty, and there’s no need to pay me now. I’ll give you a definitive price after I order.”

  “What about your time?”

  She shook her head. “It’s fine. I wanted to do this, and honestly this barely took me any time at all.” That wasn’t true—she’d worked several hours on these designs—but for some reason taking money from him felt … weird. It shouldn’t, but it did.

  “Thank you.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and lacing his fingers together. “What’s left to do?”

  Charlotte relaxed, hoping the awkwardness would continue to pass as they conversed more about the wedding. She pulled out her notebook and turned to the checklist in the front. “Quite a bit, actually. But it shouldn’t be too hard. We need to order the flowers, the cake, and a DJ if they want one. Discuss décor. I have some ideas for that. Also, what about rings? Do they have that covered?”

  Dean sighed. “I have no idea. I didn’t even think about rings. I mean, he gave her an engagement ring, but I doubt he thought that far ahead.”

  “Sometimes engagement rings come with a band, but not always. Is there a way you can ask her?”

  “I don’t know. They’ve been busy lately. She’s on a mission. But I can email. Sometimes it takes her a few days to answer.”

  “That’s okay. Why don’t I put together some questions for her and you can send it all in one email so we can move forward on some of these things.”

  His face relaxed, eyes softening. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

  Charlotte touched his arm gently. “We sort of jumped into this without thinking much through.”

  Dean chuckled. “No kidding. I knew this would be a lot of work, but…” He sagged, his shoulders slumping when he looked over at her. “Thank you, again. You have no idea how grateful I am to you for doing this for Alex.”

  She smiled. “Well, I don’t even know Alex, but I’m happy to do it for you.”

  It was the truth, but the way his eyes focused in on her, maybe she shouldn’t have said it that way. They were both sending mixed signals, which she feared would eventually get them into trouble. But if Dean was feeling anywhere close to the way she was, he fought his own good sense on this one. She wanted Dean, badly. But his friendship and happiness were equally as important.

  “So, why don’t you tell me what days work best for you and I’ll set up some of these appointments?”

  He pushed his chair back, as if preparing to leave. “Don’t worry about that. You set them up when it works for you and I’ll make it happen.”

  “Okay. I’ll let you know.”

  He nodded and then stood up. Charlotte began to gather her things and stuff them back into her bag when a bridal magazine caught her eye. She turned to Dean. “Oh, I forgot, the most important thing. The dress.”

  His face tightened and his mouth dropped the slightest bit. “Yeah, I actually thought of that, and uh … I think Amy is going to pick out Alex’s dress.”

  “Is that a friend of hers? That makes sense.”

  He hesitated. “Yeah, I thought so, too. I also found out she isn’t having a bridesmaid, or whatever. Just the two of them.”

  “Okay. Well, that’s easy enough.” Charlotte smiled. “So we’re making progress. I’ll be in touch when I have some appointments set up for us.”

  She slipped past him and was grateful to find that Jake had left the main room, leaving them alone. Dean followed her to the front door. Before pushing it open, she turned and looked up at him. If she left without saying what was on her mind, she would regret it.

  “Dean, I’m sorry about the photoshoot. If I’d known it would make things weird between us, I never would have done it.”

  “Don’t apologize, Charlotte. Everything that happened … it was my fault.”

  “What makes you say that? Do you think I didn’t want to kiss you? I thought … well, I just thought you’d always known that when I flirted with you … I meant it.”

  He breathed in deep, his eyes trained on hers. “I always hoped you meant it.”

  She grinned at him, releasing a breath. Here they went again, sending those mixed signals. But before she could speak, he interrupted.

  “But Charlotte, I’m way too old for you. We both know that. And this … this awkwardness. It sucks. I like you too much to give up this good working relationship we have together.”

  Charlotte’s arms and legs suddenly felt prickly, as if her body was going numb. Her mouth couldn’t decide if it should smile or frown, but she finally got control and gave him a forced quirk of her lips. So he’d decided to do what was best. While she’d had the same thoughts, why did she suddenly feel sad that he’d voiced his concerns out loud?

  “I understand. You’re completely right. You’re my favorite person to work with. So … yeah, we should not … uh, mess that up at all.”

  Damn it, she could hear the tears in her voice, and the look in his eyes told her he did, too.

  “Charlotte…”

  She held up a hand. “Oh my gosh, Dean. It’s fine. I’m grateful that we’re close enough to be honest with each other. I’ll be in touch, okay?”

  She turned and left the building as fast as she could.

  Eleven

  “I still think you should cash the check,” Lauren said as she placed a stamp on the final envelope.

  Instead of responding, Charlotte took another sip of her wine. She was on glass three. Or five. Hard to tell.

  It was Friday night, and she and Lauren had spent the past two hours binging on Chinese food and addressing wedding invitations to people neither of them knew. Earlier that evening Dean had dropped off a legal envelope that held the final list of addresses. He’d been friendly but hadn’t come inside, claiming he had some work to get back to, and Charlotte had forced herself to keep it short and not be weird.

  Once she’d gotten inside and opened the envelope, she’d found a check made out to her in the amount of two thousand dollars. In the memo he’d written: thanks for being amazing.

  Fuck being amazing.

  “I plan on cashing the check. Don’t worry. He owes me big for all the help I’m giving him.”

  Lauren just raised an eyebrow and then slid all the finished envelopes into a bag. “How about I drop these off at the post office in the morning.”

  “Thanks,” Charlotte said. “And I’m sorry I’m being a bitch.”

  “You’re not being a bitch at all. I completely understand your feelings on the matter.”

  Charlotte stared at her. “But…”

  “There’s no but. I swear.”

  “Please, I’ve been your friend for way
too long. I know a but when I hear one.”

  Lauren leveled her with a hard state. “Okay, fine. I think you’re giving in too easily.”

  “What? Lauren, the man made it very clear that he’s not interested.”

  “No, he didn’t. He made it very clear he’s afraid.”

  Charlotte rolled her eyes. “Right. A forty-one-year-old man, afraid of me.”

  “Bingo. A forty-one-year-old man who has the hots for a beautiful young woman with her entire life ahead of her.”

  “Pshh.” Charlotte couldn’t believe this. Of course they’d discussed their age difference, but it wasn’t like he was fifty or sixty. “Dean is not a normal older man. He’s hot.”

  “Do you think hot people are impervious to fear? You two have spent three years flirting. Finally, you kiss. Then he freaks out.”

  “Exactly. What part of that are you not understanding? It was a mistake.”

  Lauren shook her head in exasperation. “I don’t buy that. I work with him, too, you know. Dean is a very thoughtful guy. One of the biggest gentlemen I know. If he was completely uninterested, he wouldn’t have let himself get in this position. He’s torn and fighting it. I think he genuinely thinks he’s too old for you. He thinks he is doing you a favor.”

  Charlotte shrugged. Was it possible that he was interested and just afraid? She’d been with a man before who couldn’t own his true emotions. Did she want to go down that path again? “He probably is doing me a favor.”

  “Fine!” Lauren threw her hands up and rose from the table. “If you believe that, then I don’t want to hear about it again. Snap out of it.”

  “Lauren, I’m sorry.”

  Her best friend sighed. “You have no reason to be sorry. I just don’t like to see you sad. I’m trying to urge you to push a little harder if you think he’s worth it. If not, let it go. Take his money to the bank and buy yourself something awesome.”

  “Do you really think he’s just afraid?”

  Lauren sighed. “I think there’s a good possibility. But don’t hold it against me if I’m wrong.”

  “I could never hold it against you. You’re always there for me.”

  “And don’t you forget it.” Lauren heaved the heavy bag of invites up onto her shoulder. “See you next Saturday then?”

  With a groan, Charlotte let her head fall back. “God, yes. Here I thought I’d be in a better emotional state when I was forced to see John again. But once again Charlotte Linley is messed up over a guy.”

  “This guy is nothing like John. And you’ll be fine. Take that money and go get a facial or a wax. Something that makes you feel sexy.”

  Charlotte stood up to see her friend to the door. Lauren had a point. It had been a while since she’d had a hair appointment. “Yeah maybe I will.

  * * *

  Dean had spent the past five years of his life enjoying a pretty steady routine. He ate cold cereal for breakfast, went to the gym four days a week, spent most of his day at the Stag, and then fell into bed exhausted every night and slept through till morning. Once in a great while there’d be a date or hookup thrown in the mix, and usually when a new Call of Duty game released he’d devote a weekend to sitting on the couch and trying to beat it, but basically he was a creature of habit. Conventional and adaptive. Despite the hardships he’d been dealt in his life, he felt like he managed to have a positive outlook, and for the most part his mood remained even-keeled. He considered himself the voice of reason and experience in his partnership with TJ and Jake, and was nearly certain they’d agree with that sentiment. Overall, these days not much got him worked up or interrupted his life.

  Until he’d kissed Charlotte.

  The past week and a half, he hadn’t had a full night’s rest, was moody as hell, and he’d been so distracted he’d put in a vodka mash and then forgotten to turn on the agitator, meaning the entire thing waterlogged and ended up all over the distilling room floor.

  The fact that he had to see her today had him all kinds of messed up. He’d seen her a couple of times since the kiss, and each time had been uncomfortable. All week he’d been trying to convince himself that he hadn’t hurt her feelings the day she’d come to show him the invitations. That she hadn’t been about to cry. But the truth was, the look on her face before she’d left had nearly broken him. Still, he knew putting the brakes on this thing between them was the right thing to do.

  “Are you sure everything’s okay with you?” Jake asked as he used a mop to push a pile of oatmeal-consistency cooked grain into a bucket on the floor.

  “Yeah, why?” He didn’t meet his friend’s eyes.

  “Just … I don’t know. You seem off your game this week.”

  “I think I’m just stressed about planning this wedding.” That seemed a reasonable explanation. Hadn’t Charlotte called him a bridezilla?

  “Makes sense, I guess.” Jake said. “But isn’t Charlotte helping you?”

  Dean picked up his own full bucket and sighed. “Yeah, she is.”

  Without elaborating he hauled the vessel over to the giant plastic tub they were filling and dumped it over the side. What a waste of grain, time, and money. He shook his head and headed back to the mess. They’d almost gotten it all picked up. Normally he’d start fresh with a new mash, but today he had to meet Charlotte at the floral shop across the town square. He’d give anything to avoid it. At the same time, he could hardly wait to see her.

  “I figured you’d like working with Charlotte.”

  Dean looked up at Jake to see him grinning. Here the past three years he thought he’d done a good job at masking his feelings for her, but lately it had become clear that he’d been wrong.

  “Working with her is just fine.”

  “Just fine, huh? TJ told me about your photo shoot.”

  Dean groaned. “TJ has a big mouth. But yeah. I did it.”

  After filling his bucket with hot water, Dean began to pour it over the floor. The majority of the mess was picked up so the rest could be squeegeed into the drain on the floor.

  “You have to get naked?” Jake asked with a chuckle.

  Immediately Dean’s eyes flew up to his. “No, I didn’t get naked. Of course not.”

  “Just asking, simmer down. I bet it was kind of hot, though, right? Having her take pictures of you like that.”

  Dean sighed. “I don’t know if I’d use the word hot.” Which was a complete lie. That day had ended up being one of the hottest of his life, all because of her and that kiss.

  Jake nodded and gave a look that implied he wasn’t quite convinced. “Well, I think it would be hot. And it would be kind of cool to be on a book cover. Haven’t been able to use that line before. I mean, how could the ladies not think that was awesome?”

  What the heck was he getting at? Dean’s jaw tightened as he filled another bucket with water. “I don’t intend to tell the ladies.”

  “Then you’re missing a prime opportunity. Women go crazy for that stuff. You’ll be some kind of Fabio. Honestly, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  Jake chuckled. “When do we get to see these pictures?”

  He had no idea so he just shrugged.

  “Maybe I should ask Charlotte if I can be next. I think I could pull it off.”

  Dean stilled. He was facing away from his friend, but he knew Jake was watching him, so he forced his body back into action and grabbed the squeegee off the wall. He needed to move past what had happened. Stop letting that kiss affect his life and, even more important, his interactions with Charlotte. He hated that she’d had to be the one to make the first move after what they’d done. Even then he’d acted like an idiot. Another good reason to stop letting his attraction to her mess with his good sense. A real relationship with a woman like her was impossible, which meant just fooling around with her was not an option. He definitely didn’t want to jeopardize what they had.

  But although that all sounded noble and good, one problem remained. He wante
d her so damn bad. Fighting that was not easy. He had to try harder.

  “Yeah, maybe you should ask her. I get the feeling she’s looking for guys.” Dean hated the words coming out of his mouth. Just that thought pissed him off, but he clamped his teeth down and pushed through the feelings of jealousy that rose up in his gut.

  “Why do I feel like this is a trap?” Jake asked.

  Dean turned around. “It’s not. Ask her. She’s a professional.”

  “Listen, you know I have absolutely no designs on Charlotte. She’s so into you.”

  With a sigh, Dean clamped his eyes shut. “I don’t know about that. But she and I are better off just being friends.”

  “Why?” Jake sounded genuinely perplexed.

  Dean leaned his squeegee against the wall. “Because I’m a divorced, middle-aged man for a start.”

  “Good grief, dude. I’m pretty sure you’ve got a few years left in you.”

  Dean knew Jake was teasing, but his buddies didn’t know all the reasons he wasn’t meant for a young woman like Charlotte. And it was none of their business.

  “Anyway, let’s drop this,” Dean said.

  “Fine. Consider it dropped, but I want to go on record as saying that you’re fucking nuts not to give things a try with her. Charlotte’s not the type to get crazy on you if it doesn’t work.”

  Dean leveled Jake with a stare.

  “Okay, okay. Now it’s dropped. Promise,” Jake said. “But she works with me on Saturday, you know?”

  Dean turned around. “You have a funny way of dropping a conversation, you know that? And I thought Trevor Rich was shooting.” He wasn’t a fan of the guy. Big ego and wasn’t all that friendly, as if being the photographer made him important. Wasn’t even willing to share images with vendors, whereas Charlotte not only shared them for free with everyone, she’d even had several canvases printed for the Stag.

  “Yeah he was. Apparently he canceled on his couple and they asked Charlotte to do it.”

  “Huh. Well then, I guess you’ll be able to ask her about doing a shoot then.” Dean glanced at his watch. “You think you can finish this up? I actually have to meet her at the florist across the street in five minutes.”