by Leigh Walker
“I might. But I can see how this could become very tricky with the queen. I’ve no desire to become even more beholden to her.”
“I feel the same, of course.” I straightened my spine. “But I am marrying the prince anyway. I love him.”
“You seem sure now.” Alexandra nodded. “A woman who knows her own heart… I admire you.”
“Don’t you know yours?”
“Sometimes I wonder about being involved with them.” She looked at me, her face twisting into a frown. “But never mind. I’m only being maudlin.”
“What? What were you going to say?”
She sighed. “I shouldn’t be talking about such things to you the week before your wedding to the vampire prince.”
“Please. You’ve more experience here than me. I would appreciate any insight that you have.”
She looked around before she spoke. “Sometimes I wonder if it’s safe for us to love them.”
“Because they’re vampires?”
“Not just that. It’s because they’re immortal. I have feelings for this guard, real feelings. And he says he loves me too. But what does that mean? Am I only a blip on his radar, a tiny distraction in the long span of his existence?”
“Well, if he said he loves you, isn’t that something?” I asked.
“Sure, of course. But if I love him for my whole life… Is it different for them? Do they feel it as strongly as we do? I just don’t know. I hate to question our differences—but it’s very important to me to be an equal.” She shook her head and laughed. “I know that sounds ridiculous, coming from a blood slave. But I came here to serve, and though it wasn’t what I’d expected, I’m not ashamed of my role. I’ve helped the royal family, and up until quite recently, I couldn’t complain about my treatment. I come from a very limited set of prospects, and I made the best of them. But when it comes to my personal life, I don’t want to be with someone who thinks of me as a chapter. I want to be the whole book. I want that kind of love that lasts, that outlives everything else—space, time, age. But I don’t think I can have that with a vampire. Because their experience of life is so different from mine.”
I put down the carrot. “Wow. That’s pretty deep.”
“Ha, I know. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands to ponder the implications of my potential relationship, though I try not to.”
“What if your guard turned you?” I asked quietly. “Would that change things for you—make it equal?”
“I’ve thought about it,” Alexandra said. “We humans can’t pretend that being turned isn’t on the table. But I don’t want to change who I am to be with someone. I want to be me. So then the question becomes what’s more important? My relationship or my relationship with myself?”
“Well, that’s an easy one. Your relationship with yourself. In the end, that’s all you have, isn’t it?”
She smiled, but she didn’t look happy. “I don’t know how that fits in with love.”
I took a bite of carrot, my head spinning with all those new thoughts. “Well, I don’t either.”
“Come, now.” Alexandra patted my hand. “Enough of this talk. The prince is in love with you; I’ve seen it myself. And my bet is that it’s the type of love that lasts a lifetime, even when that lifetime is forever.”
“But I won’t be there forever. Unless he turns me.”
“You’re only eighteen. You’ve plenty of time to think about it.”
I nodded, but her words rang in my ears. I don’t want to change who I am… Could I? Could I ask the prince to turn me so that I could spend eternity by his side?
“What will you do about your vampire guard?” I asked Alexandra.
She looked at me thoughtfully. “If the queen issues a decree, and he asks me to be his bride… I suppose I will have to give him the answer that is in my heart. That is all we can ever do, isn’t it?”
Anthony came and found me after lunch, insisting that we go for a walk in the gardens. I was happy to see him; we had a lot to talk about.
“Did you fall in love with a pretty candidate last night?” I asked.
“No.” Anthony sourly kicked a rock down the path. “The guards were like vultures, picking over every last one. I couldn’t even find a proper dance partner.”
“Aw, I’m sorry.” I linked my arm through his as we continued on our walk. “It wasn’t meant to be, I guess.”
“Why are you so blasted cheerful?” Anthony frowned at me, then a different look dawned on his face. “Did you and Dom finally—”
“We did no such thing! Get your mind out of the gutter. He has vowed to protect my honor, and there’s nothing I can do to change his mind.” I winked at my friend. “Not for lack of trying, of course.”
“Ha. Of course.”
We were quiet for a moment, taking a turn then heading down another path bordered on each side by rose bushes.
“But you do seem cheered, Tor. What gives?”
I took a deep breath. “I have decided to marry the prince.”
“Um, the wedding’s next week. Half of the realm has been invited.” He blinked at me. “You weren’t planning on going through with it?”
“Not exactly.”
We looked at each other and laughed.
“But I’ve changed my mind.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Now hopefully His Highness will just get it over with and turn you. Then we won’t have to deal with that pesky Call again.”
I stopped walking. “We don’t know that changing me would stop that from happening. But maybe we won’t have to consider it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Even Dominic said this time is different—he doesn’t think I’ll get called back. Maybe it’s because I unlocked my powers and that’s giving me an awareness that I haven’t had before.”
“It could be.” Anthony nodded. “You remembered everything the last time you came through.”
“Speaking of my powers… Sorry I told Dominic about Herman, but I wanted him to know what you said about it being different from a regular vanishing. He got the same funny look on his face that you did.”
“Maybe he’s thinking what I’m thinking.” Anthony’s lips turned down, and it was plain that he was lost in thought. It was that face again.
“Can you please explain what you’re thinking? Why are you acting like what I did is some sort of big deal?”
Anthony started walking again, kicking another small stone. “I think maybe I’ve discovered something about you.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You’ve discovered it about me?”
He kept his eyes on the path. “Yes. But I could be wrong, of course.”
“Well? Are you going to enlighten me or not?”
Anthony gave me a quick look. “Your mother will be here soon, won’t she?”
I stopped walking. “Y-Yes. I hope so, anyway.”
“Then we will have to ask her a thing or two to confirm my suspicions.”
“What suspicions? What are you talking about, and what on earth does it have to do with my mother?”
“What do you know about your father, Tor?” he asked.
“Not much. He and my mother separated when my sister and I were very young. I don’t remember him.”
Anthony didn’t say anything. He just gave me a long look.
“You’re not saying what I think you’re saying, are you?”
“I didn’t say a word.”
“Go on, then. What—you think my father is an evil vampire emperor?”
“I think you have at least part of that right.”
Feeling a headache coming on, I rubbed my temple. “Which part? No more games. Just speak, please.”
“The vampire part.”
I blinked at my friend. “You are saying I’m part vampire?”
“Maybe. But I believe it’s possible that you’re an intercross. I wouldn’t know, having never met one.”
I gaped at him. Of course, had I let myself dwell on my mother and Isabel
’s situation more closely, I might’ve reached the same conclusion. But I hadn’t wanted to think about it. It had been much more pleasant passing time in a fevered state inspired by my newly declared love for the prince, fueled by my teenage hormones.
“Is there a way we can tell if I’m an intercross?” I asked, my mouth dry. “Some sort of test?”
“Not that I know of. But let’s see…” Anthony furrowed his brow. “D’you ever crave human blood?”
“No.”
“Can you levitate a bit?”
“Er, no.”
“Any fang activity?”
“No, of course not.” I frowned at him. “You see? I’m completely human. I don’t crave blood, I can’t fly, and I certainly won’t live forever. I’m from New Jersey—New Jersey doesn’t have vampires.”
“Well, of course it does.” When he saw the bewildered expression on my face, he waved me off. “Never mind about that. You’re clearly not a vampire. That, I’m sure of.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “Good.”
“But I do think you might be an intercross.”
I sighed. “What does that even mean?”
“It means that you are not only human. You are more. When Fitzy called you a witch, that was closer to the truth.”
“But I’m no witch. Witches can do all sorts of cool things, like fly around on broomsticks and curse their enemies. All I can do is vanish someone who’s about to hurt me.”
Anthony shook his head. “It’s not just a vanishment, though. I’ve investigated further—I went back to see Herman the Foul this morning. You didn’t just vanish him, Tor. You did something to alter his brain.”
I shook my head. “You keep saying that, but it seems exactly like a vanishment to me. If you vanished Herman, he wouldn’t remember the incident. If I do it, he doesn’t remember me. What on earth is the difference?”
Anthony pointed at me. “If I were to plunge my fangs into your neck, I would extract your blood from you, and it would be gone forever. It would be mine.”
“Okay…” I had no idea where he was going with that.
“If I vanish you, I am merely masking a memory of yours. Our kind usually replaces the ugly truth with a happy lie—a field with flowers, a teddy bear, whatever. The old memory is still in there. It’s just faded. But when you used your power on the guard and on Herman the Foul, you took something from them, something they will never recover: their memory of you.”
“Still not seeing a difference here.” I crossed my arms. “What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is that much like a vampire claims his prey by piercing its neck, you claim yours by piercing its brain. A vanishment is a parlor trick compared to what you can do. Where the subject of such trick will have a patchwork-quilted memory, held together by happy falsehoods, your victims have no gaps. It is as though you never happened to them. You were able to remove all traces of yourself without substituting a fabrication. It is a cleaner, more elegant, more insidious form of what we can do.”
“Why insidious?”
“Because you can cover your tracks permanently. And you can cover them to vampires, who are the best hunters the world has ever known.”
“And you can’t do that?”
He chuckled. “If I could, I wouldn’t be here right now! I would erase everyone who is more powerful than me and help myself to whatever I liked. I would be on an island surrounded by a harem of pretty blood slaves, loyal to me and only me.”
Just then, someone commanded in a low voice from nearby: “Lady Victoria, the queen would like a word. Now.” A guard stepped out from behind one of the rose bushes, and I prayed that he hadn’t overheard us.
“Yes, of course.” I turned to Anthony and kept my voice low. “This can’t be good.”
“No.” He glanced quickly at the guard. “No, it can’t. Especially not if she’s come to the same conclusion about you.”
“How would she do that?” I asked sharply.
“The same way she does everything.” Anthony frowned. “Sneakily and stealthily, and completely for her interests. Go on, then. You don’t want to keep her waiting.”
I gave him one last, frightened look as the guard hustled me toward the castle.
20
One Piece
“Ah, the Lady Victoria from Margate. How lovely of you to join me.” Queen Danica sat on her throne, smiling at me without warmth. The room must’ve been her personal study; it was one I’d never entered before. Only the queen would have a golden throne in her private room. But so she did, and a large gilded mirror on the wall so she could properly see herself on it.
My stomach sank as she beckoned me closer.
“I was pleased to see you and my son looking so enchanted with each other last night. Did he spend the night in your chamber, dear?” she asked.
I cleared my throat. Dominic would tell her to go to hell, but I didn’t possess his bravery—or his immortality. “Y-Yes, Your Highness.”
“Ah.” She sat back, satisfied. “And am I to guess that you let him experience the pleasures of your flesh?”
I cleared my throat again—I felt like I’d swallowed a boulder. “No, Your Highness. We are waiting until marriage.”
Her nostrils flared. “My son baffles me. Never have I met a vampire so handsome, with so many opportunities, who has a steelier or more ridiculous resolve. He is truly one of a kind.” She sighed then rested her gaze squarely on me. “As, I suppose, are you.”
I clasped my sweaty palms together and said nothing.
“I am wondering, Lady Margate. Would you permit me to feed from you?”
I rocked back on my heels as if she’d struck me, trying to hide my shock with a very fake smile that most likely looked the way I felt—hysterical. “Though I wouldn’t object, Your Highness, out of respect for my betrothed, I would like to make sure that he has no objections, either.”
“Then you do object but are too cowardly to say so.”
“I don’t consider myself a coward.” I swallowed hard, knowing deep down that’s probably exactly what I was. “I’m afraid that the prince would not take kindly to such an interaction. I would want to secure his blessing first.”
But maybe I should let her drink from me! Would my blood kill her, on the spot? I watched her watching me. She was the oldest, most powerful vampire in existence. What if my blood doesn’t kill her? Then I would be turned, or worse.
I didn’t dare move or breathe as she came even closer.
“So you are loyal to him,” the queen said. I could feel her cool breath on my cheek.
I nodded vigorously. “Y-Yes, very much so, Your Highness.” I prayed she at least approved of that, hopefully enough to let me get out of there in one piece.
The queen stood and slowly walked toward me. “And you intend to live here among us as a mortal and to give my son children.”
My knees knocked together as she got closer. Is she going to try to bite me? I forced myself to study the gorgeous gold-and-teal embroidery on her gown, along with her stunning, ageless face. “Yes, I would like to have children someday, if the gods choose to favor me with such happiness.”
She arched a dark eyebrow. “So you believe in the gods?”
“Of course, Your Highness.” I bowed my head as much as to show respect as to hide the fear in my eyes. I wasn’t sure what I believed in—a god or the gods—but I was praying to anyone who would listen to get out of that room alive. “I hope that they honor me with Dominic’s children. When we’re ready, of course.”
The queen stalked around me slowly. I could feel her eyes raking over every detail of my dress, my hair, and my figure. “It took me a while to understand what he sees in you, but I think I have an inkling now. I do see that you’re devoted to him, and he to you. That is something. The basis of that devotion was unclear to me at first, but then I have come around and found an answer.”
My curiosity piqued, I found the courage to raise my head. “Oh? And what answer is that?”
“You support his position and buoy his erroneous thinking, which helps him to cement his faulty worldview.” Queen Danica raised an immaculately groomed eyebrow. “You’re an enabler, Victoria, and one of the worst kind. You help my son to delude himself into thinking that he knows what’s best for our race.”
“I have to disagree with you, Your Highness.” I braced myself as she glared.
“On what basis?” she asked coldly.
“Your son knows his own mind—but he doesn’t claim to know better than any other being. He does want justice and equality in the world. I don’t see that as erroneous thinking, no matter how much you might frighten me into wishing I believed differently.”
She took another step, the click of her heel echoing around the chamber. “Justice and equality are a myth, my dear. They have never existed, and the pursuit of such unattainable ideals has caused many nations and many races a great deal of pain.”
“Again, I respectfully disagree, Your Highness. In my brief experience, I believe that both of those things exist and that they are necessary for us to survive.”
“That’s because you are young, and you are a fool. I’ve made my peace with this.” Queen Danica continued to circle me, which did nothing for my nerves. “My son possesses a higher caliber of intellect, however. I would appreciate it if you didn’t poison him with your childish notions. Know your place, and keep your mouth shut when he, or any other of your superiors, expresses an opinion.”
I cleared my throat. “Of course, Your Highness.” I saw no point in arguing.
“Now.” She stopped and leaned closer to me. “I can tell by your scent that you are, in fact, a virgin. But I can also tell that my son has fed from you recently. Do you deny it?”
“No, Your Highness.” Dominic would not be pleased with that, but lying wasn’t worth the risk.
“Good.” Her dark eyes sparkled. “I want him to become accustomed to drinking from you. It’s addictive, I hear—when it doesn’t kill you, of course.”
I didn’t follow her. “What is, Your Highness?”