by Susan Lewis
I was thinking of going over there tomorrow afternoon and taking Gary with me, but I’ve just got home from work to find a dog in the house, and without having to be told, I know already that it’s ours.
‘Dad! Dad! This is Lucky,’ Gary shouts as he skids into the kitchen behind the little beast. ‘We got her down the pet shop this afternoon.’
The puppy is bouncing all over my feet, rotating her tail like a windmill and leaking pee with excitement.
‘You were supposed to be at Gran’s,’ I tell him. It’s the summer holidays now, so they’re not at school. ‘Where’s our Susan?’
‘I’m here,’ she says, coming out of the dining room with a bag of biscuits. ‘Isn’t she cute, Dad? She only cost a shilling and they gave us a week’s worth of food for free.’
‘We can’t have a dog, my love. They need training and walking …’
‘We’re going to do it, aren’t we?’ she says to Gary.
‘Yeah. We’ve already taken her over the field and she can run even faster than me.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I say, going to fetch some newspaper to wipe up the mess, ‘it’s not fair on the dog when we’re not here all day.’
‘But we are now,’ Susan protests. ‘And by the time we go back to school she’ll be trained so she can come with me and wait outside till I finish.’
I give a sigh and shake my head. ‘You can’t tie a dog up all day, especially not at school. She’ll have to go back.’
‘No!’ they shout together.
‘She’s mine now,’ Susan cries.’ ‘She’s my best friend in the whole world and if you make her go away I’ll go too.’
‘Susan, Susan,’ I sigh wearily.
‘Come on Lucky,’ she says, scooping up the puppy, ‘let’s go somewhere we’re wanted.’
‘And me.’ Gary jogs off down the hall after her. ‘Where are we going?’
‘Nowhere you can come,’ she tells him unkindly.
‘But I want to,’ he protests.
‘Neither of you are going anywhere,’ I inform them. ‘It’s teatime and I want …’
‘I’m not eating anything unless you let Lucky stay,’ Susan shouts.
‘Nor me,’ Gary chimes in.
I close my eyes and shake my head.
‘Please, Dad, please,’ Susan begs. ‘She’s really cute and lovely and it’ll be good for us to have a dog.’
I don’t ask why, because I already know the answer. It’ll be good for us because it’s what Susan wants, and I have to admit, now I’m having a closer look, it is a happy-looking little thing and anything that’s happy is welcome in our house. ‘You’ll feed and walk her, and clear up after her,’ I say sternly.
Both their faces light up, and next thing I’m being bombarded by all three of them, with Lucky peeing on my feet again.
‘What kind of breed is she?’ I ask.
‘She’s a black Labrador,’ Susan replies.
Well, she’s certainly black, but as for being a Lab … ‘Which pet shop did you find her in?’
‘It was downtown, just off Old Market,’ Susan says.
I blink hard. ‘You went to Old Market to get her?’ I repeat. ‘And you took Gary with you?’
‘We got the number fourteen straight there and back again. You’re allowed to take dogs upstairs, and the man in the pet shop gave us an old collar and lead because we didn’t have enough money to get that as well.’
I’m still stunned by the news that they were wandering about such an unsavoury area on their own. ‘I don’t want you doing anything like that again,’ I warn them firmly. ‘It’s dangerous around there, what with all the drunks and …’ I was about to say prostitutes, but quickly change it to ‘hooligans’.
‘We didn’t see anyone like that,’ Gary assures me.’ ‘There was a nice lady who stuck her hand out to stop the bus for us, and the conductor helped us upstairs with Lucky, didn’t he?’
‘Yes,’ Susan confirms, holding the dog up and letting it lick her all over her face.
‘That’s not hygienic,’ I tell her.
‘She’s kissing me, because she’s happy.’
‘She does it to me too,’ Gary says. ‘Can I hold her now?’
‘Only for two minutes, because remember, she’s mine.’
‘Where did you get the money?’ I ask.
Susan doesn’t meet my eyes. ‘I had some,’ she replies. ‘I saved up.’
I can’t think where she might have stolen it from, so I don’t accuse her, I simply say, ‘If you’ve borrowed any, I want you to pay it back.’
‘I just told you, I saved up,’ and turning on her heel she drags Gary and the dog back into the dining room.
I can already see all the work this new member of the family is going to create, but there’s no point arguing when they both want her so much. I’ll have to ask Anne to keep an eye out for a book on dogs so we can learn how to train the wretched thing, and I expect we’ll enjoy the walks when we get time.
I find myself starting to chuckle. I suppose it’s because I always wanted a dog when I was a boy, or maybe it’s because I’m hoping that having something of her own to love will help our Susan to settle down at home and at school.
Chapter Twenty
Susan
WE’RE HAVING A fab time singing advertising songs from the telly as we walk along the street. The first one’s about Double Diamond working wonders, then there’s Opal Fruits making your mouth water and then we finish so loudly with the Heinz beans ad that people turn round and laugh.
‘I know, I know,’ I cry, ‘what about the lady who loves Milk Tray?’
‘That’s not a song,’ Mandy protests.
‘Yeah, but it’s really lush. Imagine if Rich climbed into your bedroom like that with a box of chocolates. I bet you’d wet yourself.’
Julie and I scream with laughter, while Mandy hits us, and Lucky barks and jumps up to try and protect me.
‘We’ve got to find a song for Lucky,’ Julie decides, and cupping Lucky round the face she says, ‘What shall we sing for you, you naughty little thing?’
‘I know,’ Mandy exclaims. ‘How much is that doggie in the window?’
We sing it at the tops of our voices and all laugh and cheer and Lucky leaps about on the end of her lead, just like she knows we’re singing to her.
We’re crossing the green in front of the Horseshoe on our way to see Kev and the others. He hasn’t met Lucky yet, but I know he’s going to love her, because everyone does, and she’s so sweet that she always loves them back. I’m really glad I got her, and I think Dad is too, now he’s had some time to get used to her.
I’m fourteen now. (Well, actually thirteen, but everyone else in my class is fourteen, or they will be by Christmas, so I think that makes me fourteen too.) I bought Lucky as a present to myself for my birthday, with two sixpences I pinched from the top drawer of Dad’s dressing table. I’ll pay it back as soon as I go out to work, which I can hardly wait for, because apart from Miss Vaughan I really hate school. It’s a great big waste of time.
Kev and his mates are slouched on one of the benches outside the pub, drinking pints and chatting to some girls who I recognise from the Paige School. They’re really common and mouthy and everyone knows they’ll go with anyone. I don’t know what they’re doing around here, and I’m furious to see the way one of them is trying to get off with Kev.
‘It’s Sandra Hodge and her gang,’ Mandy whispers.
‘Why don’t they fuck off?’ Julie mutters.
‘If one of them says anything to me, I’m going to smack her right in the mouth,’ Mandy declares.
‘Me too,’ I say. Then suddenly I’m lurching across the road towards the pub, being dragged by Lucky who’s spotted another dog just behind Kev.
As I whizz by, struggling to keep Lucky under control, I hear Kev and his mates starting to bark and howl, and I feel so embarrassed that I want to smack Lucky with all my might. I would, if I could get her to stop, but she’s dragging me on p
ast the pub, going after this little Jack Russell that’s out on his own.
In the end the Jack Russell disappears into someone’s garden, and Lucky finally calms down. I drop to my knees and grab her face between my hands, seething with fury for the way she’s just shown me up. All she does is pant and wag her tail and give me a great big lick. She even looks like she’s grinning, and because I love her so much I forgive her, but not before warning her never to do anything like that again.
I turn round to find Sandra Hodge and her gang still sniggering and gawping like the juvenile delinquents they are, but at least Mandy’s talking to Rich and Julie’s shouting out to ask me what I want to drink.
I tell her a lemonade and Sandra Hodge and her friends start mimicking me, saying ‘lemonade’, then pretending to be jerked along by a dog.
‘Very funny,’ I mutter.
‘Why don’t you grow up?’ Julie sneers at them.
‘Come here and say that?’ Sandra dares her.
Julie goes to poke her face right into Sandra’s. ‘Grow up,’ she says. ‘Now what are you going to do about it?’
‘Scrap! Scrap!’ one of Kev’s mates shouts. ‘Go on girls, show us what you’re made of.’
Suddenly Sandra’s got hold of Julie by the hair and is spinning her round. Julie thumps her in the stomach and stamps on her foot, then they fall on the ground, screaming and kicking and clawing each other to bits. The boys are on their feet cheering them on. Mandy goes over and whacks one of Sandra’s friends, then they’re rolling about too, ripping at one another’s clothes and hair.
‘Come on, Sue, get one of them,’ Mandy shouts.
I don’t want to look chicken so I start running forward, holding on tight to Lucky, and the next thing I know Sandra and her gang are all scarpering across the green. It turns out they’re scared of Lucky, and I shout after them that they should be, because if I tell her to she’ll tear them to bits.
Right on cue Lucky growls, which I think is extremely clever, until I realise she’s looking at Kev.
‘Get that beast away from me,’ he says, backing off.
‘She won’t hurt you as long as you’re nice to me,’ I assure him.
‘Yeah, right. Just keep it where it is, OK? I don’t want it coming near me.’
Lucky growls again and I feel so mortified I want to hit her. ‘Stop it,’ I snap at her. ‘He’s a friend.’
Lucky looks up at me and licks her lips.
‘You’re a bad girl,’ I tell her, torn between hugging her and ignoring her.
‘Where are you going?’ I hear Kev shout.
I turn round.
‘Where do you think?’ Rich answers.
Mandy’s holding his arm and they’re heading towards the stile.
‘You coming?’ Kev says to Julie.
Julie goes beetroot and looks at me.
‘I’m not going anywhere with that dog,’ he informs me.
Lucky growls again and I slap her.
‘I’ll hold Lucky if you like,’ Julie offers.
I look at Kev, not sure what to do.
His mates are muttering something I can’t hear and they burst out laughing. So does he.
‘Go on,’ Julie says, coming to take Lucky’s lead.
I let it go, but when I make to join Kev Lucky tugs Julie along after me.
‘You have to stay there,’ I tell her.
She just keeps coming.
‘Stay!’
‘I can’t hold her,’ Julie cries, trying to drag her back.
Suddenly Lucky’s got hold of the bottom of Kev’s flares and is growling like a wolf as she tries to tug them off him.
‘Get that fucking thing off me!’ he cries.
His mates are in fits, laughing. So’s Julie, who only drops the lead.
I quickly snatch it up and grabbing Lucky’s mouth I make her let go of Kev.
‘That’s it,’ he says, looking all flustered and not very cool. ‘No way am I going anywhere with you while you’ve got that dog. Come on, Julie,’ and grabbing her hand he drags her up over the stile.
Aware of everyone staring, I look the other way as I go to wait on the grass opposite the pub. I want to scream and rage that Kev’s gone off with someone else, especially Julie, who I could kill. I know she goes with him anyway, but only when I’m not there, and now she’s gone and done it right in front of my face. All right, he told her to, but she should have said no – or held on to Lucky a bit harder.
Anyway, I don’t want to go with him, so I don’t care that he hasn’t bothered much about me since I got expelled. I hate doing all the stuff he likes and I hate him, but I love him too and I expect, when he’s finished with Julie, he’ll come to find me and want me to forgive him. I’m not sure if I will, at least not straight away.
I’m keeping my back turned to the pub so no one will see that I’m trying not to cry, or know that deep down inside I feel like I’m the only person in the world. I’m so glad I’ve got Lucky. She’s trying to bounce around after butterflies. I daren’t let go of her lead in case she runs off, but a part of me is so angry with her that I wish she would. Immediately I feel guilty and give her a hug. She evidently likes that because she settles down very close to me then, and seeming to realise I’m upset she starts nudging me with her silly face. I love her too much to stay cross with her for long, but I warn her she can’t come again when I’m meeting Kev.
‘You keep frightening people,’ I tell her, ‘and you’re not supposed to do that to people I like, only those who want to hurt me.’
Her funny little head tilts from side to side, as though she’s trying to understand me. Then she gives me a great big lick and sticks a paw into my hand.
We’ve had her for over three weeks now, and she still isn’t very good at doing as she’s told, which is driving Dad mad, and getting me told off all the time. Gary loves her as much as I do, and is always taking her for walks, but we have to go together, because she’s so strong she’d pull him over if he was on his own. Gran says she loves her too, which is very generous of her given the way Lucky ran into her house, leapt up on Gran’s lap and knocked out her false teeth. Next thing Lucky ran off with them, and we couldn’t stop laughing because it looked as though the teeth were hers. She’s a real handful, but when she’s behaving herself she’s the best dog in the world.
Ages and ages go by, and still no one comes back. I know people are staring at me, wondering what I’m doing, but I’m just ignoring them. There’s no law against sitting on the grass with your dog. I lean down to Lucky and whisper to her to be nice to Kev when he comes back. ‘Please don’t show me up again,’ I murmur, and she makes me laugh as she gives me a lick.
‘Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness,’ someone says.
I look up. It’s Bruce and his mates from Champion Road. They’re the ones I showed my sanitary belt to when I first started my periods, and they’ve never let me forget it.
‘Get lost,’ I tell them.
‘What are you doing here?’ Bruce wants to know.
‘Mind your own business.’
‘Fancy a shag?’ one of them asks.
‘Grow up and drop dead,’ I sneer.
‘Come on. Everyone knows you’re a ...’
‘Get lost, or I’ll set my dog on you,’ I shout.
Lucky’s already on her feet, growling and straining at the lead, and they quickly start backing off.
‘All right, all right,’ Bruce says, holding up his hands.
As they walk away they’re shouting over their shoulders, calling me foul names so that everyone over by the pub can hear. I feel so angry and ashamed that I want to run away, but I’m too embarrassed to move. I turn my back, and then I see Kev and Mandy and the others, miles away at the other side of the common, taking the other road back towards the Anchor. They’ve obviously gone that way to try and avoid me, and I feel so upset that I swear to myself I’m never going to speak to that Mandy again.
‘Susan? What are you doin
g?’
I nearly jump out of my skin. Bloody hell, it’s Dad!
Lucky starts jumping all over him, really pleased to see him.
Dad grabs the lead and holds her still. I can tell he’s cross, but I haven’t done anything wrong, so I don’t know why. ‘You were supposed to be home by seven o’clock to go over Auntie Doreen’s,’ he reminds me. ‘Uncle Alf came to pick us up, but there was no sign of you.’
‘I forgot,’ I tell him.
‘Well that’s not good enough. We were waiting for you, and now you’ve spoiled the whole evening.’
‘It’s not my fault I didn’t remember.’
‘Then whose fault is it?’
I can feel everyone over by the pub staring at us, and I want to die. Fancy being told off by your dad in front of the whole world. ‘Go away,’ I tell him. ‘You’re showing me up.’
He looks amazed. ‘In front of who?’ he demands. ‘No one’s taking any notice of you.’
‘That’s what you think, now just shut up and go away.’
‘Don’t talk to me like that. I want you home, now.’
‘I’m not walking along with you,’ I cry. ‘Everyone’ll see me.’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake. Walk on your own, if you have to, but you’re coming home whether you like it or not. And take this dog. I’m not having her dragging me all the way.’
I can’t have a row with him in front of the pub, so grabbing Lucky’s lead, I start running down the green towards the brook. ‘I’m going up round the top way,’ I shout back at him. That’ll save me having to go past the Anchor where Kev and everyone might see me.
Why are they trying to avoid me? It must be because of Lucky.
I’m almost at the end of Champion Road when I spot Mandy and Julie coming towards me. Thank goodness Dad’s nowhere in sight. I suppose he’s gone the bottom way, which is the quickest, so luckily he won’t come across me talking to them.
‘Where are you going?’ Mandy asks. ‘We’ve been looking for you.’
I know she’s lying, but all I say is, ‘I got fed up waiting. Where’s Kev?’