by Beth Shriver
“Mamm.” Lucy leaned forward to stand, but Frieda put a hand on her arm. “You eat. I’ll take care of her.” She stood and walked over to Verna. “You look terrible.”
Mamm’s head moved slightly back as she focused on Frieda’s face. “Well . . . ” She frowned, maybe too tired to respond. She let Frieda help her to the table, where she accepted a cup of Rosy’s tea. She took a sip and then another.
“You should go back to bed,” Nellie offered as she took a bite of the eggs, encouraging the others to eat. “This ham is delicious. Is this from the Mullets’ farm?”
Rosy sat down with her plate and nodded. “Jah, but I don’t feel like eating.”
Lucy stood before anyone could stop her and went upstairs to Mamm’s room to get a brush and her kapp. She knew her mamm well enough to know that she wouldn’t want to be seen without her head covered, even if it was with her own family in their kitchen. Then she went to Frieda’s room to borrow a kapp for herself. It was shameful enough that Manny had seen her without one last night. She wouldn’t let that happen again.
She was careful walking down the stairs, holding her belly. With one more month to go, she wondered how she could go about her usual chores. Planting her flower garden would be much more difficult this time around, but at least she could have one. Sam wouldn’t let her plant flowers until the fruit and vegetables were showing above the dirt, and even then, the amount of room left for flowers was hardly worth the effort. But she did because she loved the beauty they brought to her ugly life.
She walked to Mamm, who sat with her eyes shut, sipping on her tea. Lucy sat behind her and started brushing her long, dark brown hair.
Mamm startled and turned to the side to smile at Lucy. “Are you and the baby well?” Her scratchy voice sounded the way Lucy’s throat felt. She hesitated to ask her anything that would make her speak.
“We’re fine. It’s you I’m worried about. What happened to you last night?” Lucy had been scared to the point of almost getting angry for her mamm to leave her and go off doing who knows what. But there was surely a good explanation.
“You know what a light sleeper I am. I heard popping and a sort of sizzling sound coming from outside. So I got up to go look. The air was hot and thick with humidity. I knew something was wrong, but not enough to know what to do.” Her eyes filled with tears, so foreign to Lucy that a lump developed in her own throat.
“Where did you go? I didn’t see you anywhere.” Lucy offered her some toast to dip in her tea, as she so often did.
“Just as I turned to go back inside to wake Sam and tell him about the noises, the silo exploded. The blast took me off my feet, but it was the hot fumes that caused the most pain. Thank the Lord I wasn’t any farther from the haus. Before I knew it, I was in an ambulance going to the hospital.” She closed her bloodshot eyes and took in a long breath. “My biggest concern was that I couldn’t find you. I felt so helpless in that automobile taking me away from you.”
Lucy had never heard her mamm talk this way and wasn’t sure what to say or do. Mamm must still be in shock to say such things. She twisted the hair in her hand and made good use of the few pins she had, unable to find any words to reply.
“Makes you appreciate life a little more and love on your family more often,” Nellie said, looking at the floor.
Frieda picked at her food. None of them seemed to have any desire to eat, even though the food was delicious. The room was quiet except for Rosy tapping a fork on her plate as they all digested what had happened, and even more so, what could have happened.
A knock on the door brought them back, and Frieda got up to answer. Lucy felt the fear she was accustomed to whenever Sam came looking for her when she was gone too long. She cringed at the thought of the tongue-lashings he’d lay on her all the way home. Sometimes he’d made her walk beside the buggy. A couple times it was so hot that she’d collapsed and woken up in the buggy.
She tuned out the voices of the women around her. Her heart beat loudly in her ears, blocking out any other noise but the man at the door.
“Look who’s here!” Frieda’s usual expression calmed Lucy somewhat. She was never that jolly when it was Sam at the door. Lucy squeezed her eyes shut.
Sam’s not here. He can’t hurt you anymore.
The voice was not hers, but a calming man’s voice. Her daed? Not exactly the same as his, but definitely a familiar, safe tone that slowly made her heart stop racing. When she looked up, Manny stared straight at her. They all did.
She put a hand to her forehead. “I’m not feeling well.” She glanced up as Manny took off his hat. “I’m sorry—”
“No need to apologize. I just wanted to check in on you ladies. How’s everyone this morning?” Manny asked them all but still had his eye on Lucy.
“Tired but I can’t complain.”
One side of his lips turned up into a small smile.
“Mamm is the one to worry about.”
“I’ll be fine. It could be a lot worse.” She set her empty mug on the table and looked into Manny’s face. “Have you heard anything about what happened?”
Rosy stood, ready to keep the cups filled.
“An officer explained it to me. It comes down to the dry air and dust igniting a spark that can get hot enough to start a full-blown fire. It’s not that unusual, but one on this scale seems to be. With a silo that big, it made for a mighty-size explosion.”
It was unreal to hear them talking about the place where she’d lived for the last two years. It didn’t seem possible that this had really happened. As much as she didn’t want to, she might have to see the farm to believe it. With that would come all the bad memories, which seemed even worse now that she didn’t have to live there. She had gotten in the habit of blocking it out of her mind. There was too much to process, and if she did, she thought surely she would disappear into a crack in the floor, unable to function.
Manny’s eyes flickered back to Lucy. “When you feel up to it, I’ll take you over to your farm. A few people are starting the cleanup. It’ll take some time to get things cleared away, but I thought you might want to see what’s going on.”
Lucy tried not to look at him. She was too fragile, and he was everything she needed at that moment, but she couldn’t accept. “I need to go to the hospital today.”
All eyes went to her as the women were reminded of the responsibility Lucy had to take care of. “But I would like to go to the farm later. I don’t know what I’ll be up to just yet.” She hated to be so weak and indecisive, but her emotions were unraveling at the sight of him, not to mention the thought of taking care of the huge mess ahead of her.
“Don’t worry yourself about any of this. It will all get taken care of in due time. I just wanted to offer my help when you need me.” He was done talking, but his eyes didn’t move, and neither did Lucy’s.
“You know you can’t leave until we feed you, so pull up a seat.” Frieda offered her chair and went to the stove to make him a plate.
Mamm stood, and he took her arm. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to bed. Danke for coming over, Manny. We’ll be taking you up on your offer.”
Rosy took over for him and headed for the stairs. “You’re an angel, Manny Keim.”
He grinned and took Rosy’s chair next to Lucy. “I have to be honest. I do come for the food as well as the company.”
Frieda let out one o
f her bellowing laughs. “Well, there’s no shame in that.”
“We’re always glad to have you, Manny.” Nellie went to help Frieda, but Lucy knew full well they would be listening.
Manny averted his eyes and fiddled his thumbs. “I hope I’m not bothering you by coming around.” He tilted his head toward Frieda and Nellie. “You have plenty of help. I feel like I should be taking care of you . . . but you can tell me to jump in the lake whenever I become a nuisance.”
Lucy laughed, hurting her throat, and she put a hand to her neck and reached for her cup.
He handed it to her. “See, I did it just there by making you laugh.”
She took a drink of the lukewarm tea. “You could never be a nuisance, Manny.”
“Get to know me a little better, and you’ll change your mind.” His grin made her smile. She was glad he had no idea of the demons she lived with.
As Manny walked to Lucy’s farm, he couldn’t get the vision out of his mind of Lucy in the ambulance the night before. Even more, he was embarrassed to admit, he couldn’t forget the sight of her long, red hair tucked around her—a light color, like fall leaves, soft and pleasing to the eye. He shook his head; now was the worst time possible for him to be thinking such thoughts.
When he got to the haus, he switched gears and refocused on the task at hand, which was to take care of her farm. He wondered how Sam had gotten along doing everything by himself. He had only enough Holsteins to provide them with the milk they needed, and they didn’t have much livestock. What Sam did have was crop. He’d had a lot of money in that silo, more than he could ever use. Manny wondered why he hadn’t sold more of the precious grain and seed. From what he’d observed, they lived conservatively, in contrast to his income.
This was the time of day when the chores were done and breakfast was over, so there would be people stopping by to help clean up Lucy’s farm until around noon. Not all were Amish; some from town came by to offer what they could, from physical work to meals and machines that would do the work of a dozen Amish men. Bishop Atlee was arriving today from the Amish community, where he spent a good deal of his time, to help decide what needed to be done and observe the situation. Manny wondered how he would respond to their using English machines. The locals deemed the area unsafe, which was why they’d stepped in. Manny understood both sides and was eager to learn what would be decided.
As he walked up the path to Lucy’s, he heard a buggy approach. He waited to see who was coming up to the haus, as most went down the path that led to the silo, or what was left of it.
“Morning. You here to help out?”
Caleb’s presence made Manny feel better. Not only would they be working side by side, making decisions together, but he could tell him about Lucy. He didn’t know what to say or how to explain what was happening. If anyone could set him straight, it was Caleb, and he was one of the deacons, which could work to Manny’s advantage to get things done around here.
Emma poked her head out from beside Caleb. “And we brought you food!” Emma was one of the most down-to-earth young women Manny knew. He thought a lot of her—especially at that moment, hearing she had food.
“You know you don’t deserve her, right, Caleb?” Manny grinned and went around to Emma’s side to help her down. She stumbled a little, and he maneuvered around her so she didn’t lose her balance. “What did you make me?”
“Are you more interested in my cooking or me?” she teased and took the arm he offered. “I know how you like whoopee pie, so that’s for dessert.” She wagged a finger at him. “Not before.” He’d been known to take a bite or two as soon as the pie was within reach.
“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll do my best.” He slowed down to her leisurely pace and looked over at Caleb, who seemed overly happy today—strange, considering what they were there do to. “What are you smiling about?
“Who, me? Just grateful for what I have and what’s to come.” He winked at Emma and took the basket from her. “You making good progress?” Caleb scanned the area, shading his eyes with one hand.
Manny heard the skepticism in Caleb’s voice but didn’t blame him for asking. “Jah, it doesn’t look like it, but actually we are. I don’t think anything can be salvaged to the point anyone could live here . . . at least not for a while . . . until the ground is restored and the debris hauled away.”
The grass was torched black. So was the soil where acres of crop had been burned to the ground. Cornstalks were scattered in disarray, along with tobacco, wheat, and other crops. Large chunks of cement had been set aside in a heap so crews could get to the silo, which was almost ground level. The haus wasn’t safe, and not much beyond the kitchen and mudroom still stood. As he looked at it now, quite a few areas were exposed, the main reason for any demolition. The job he hated the most was trying to salvage what they could to give to Lucy. He wondered how much she’d be able to take without opening wounds.
“That’s such a waste. Sam was running an incredible farm here.” Caleb stopped talking abruptly. “I’m sorry. I should be asking about Lucy and how she’s dealing with all of this, and about Sam’s funeral and all.”
Manny gave Caleb an understanding nod. “Abram got caught up in the fire. He didn’t make it to the hospital.”
“Good man, Abram . . . ” Caleb looked at the ground, and they all paused for a moment.
Manny cleared his throat. “It’s hard to know the right thing to say and do. When I offered to help Lucy look over the farm, I thought it would be giving information and helping to keep things organized, but the emotional end of this has been a lot harder than I thought. Most people want to know how to help Abram’s family and Lucy—more than worry about this place. It seems to have become a sad memorial for what happened here, and no one seems to want it back the way it was.” Maybe that didn’t come out right, but Manny felt the need to tell someone what he had observed.
“You’re doing what you can, and that’s all that’s expected of you. I’m sure Lucy really appreciates what you’re doing here.” Emma gave him a peck on the cheek. “You’ve always had a soft heart.”
Manny shrugged, unsure how to accept what was meant to be a compliment. He didn’t always believe what Emma said was true as she tried to lift his spirits, but in this case she was right. Manny’s bleeding heart never seemed to cease, especially for someone like Lucy.
“Where’s a good place for us to eat, Manny?” Emma scanned the area and stopped when she saw a picnic table in the middle of nowhere. “Where did that come from?”
“It’s one of the few things that was salvaged. There are some personal items that were collected that you might want to give to Lucy.” Manny was tempted to open the box marked with Lucy’s last name and sift through her belongings but then stopped the thought. Something that wasn’t right came over him when he thought of her, but try as he might, he couldn’t keep the thoughts at bay. The more he learned about her and the battles she’d been through, the greater he felt the need to protect her.
She was shut up like a clam that he wanted to open, sure to find the pearl inside.
“Manny, come eat.” Emma frowned and put her hands on her hips. “I think you’re losing your hearing.” She set down a plate filled with deviled eggs, minced-meat sandwiches, baked beans, and pie.
“This makes my mouth water just looking at it.” After spending the last year alone, Manny had learned to appreciate whatever food he was g
iven. Having someone cook for him was a real treat.
“I love feeding you, Manny.”
“Hey!” Caleb shot back around a bite of his sandwich.
“I love to feed you too.” Emma pecked Caleb on the cheek and poured them some fresh-squeezed lemonade. She put the jug in her basket and sat next to Caleb. “So what are you two going to work on today?”
Caleb looked over at the haus. “Looks like the haus has to be leveled pretty far down to the ground. Too bad. It was a nice one. Big too.”
Emma nodded. “It appears that Sam had a lot of everything. I didn’t realize how much until this all happened.”
“Didn’t seem like they had much company, with most of his family passing away.” Caleb reached for another sandwich, and a chunk of minced meat plopped onto his pants.
Emma handed him a cloth napkin. “He was the oldest of a small family, right?”
“Think so. I only saw him on Sundays coming home after church meetings.” Manny hadn’t given Sam much thought. He knew little about him, as did most of the community. Sam had been one of the few who liked his privacy. He didn’t talk much, and Manny couldn’t remember ever seeing him smile. But then he hadn’t been around him enough to make any judgments about him . . . until he met Lucy.
“If we tackle that pile of wooden slats, this place will be pretty much done.” Caleb was scanning the mound of lumber that had once made a home.
Manny wondered how Lucy felt about losing her home. Devastated, he was sure. But was there also some sense of relief? She’d had something hanging over her head, something that might make her glad this place was no longer her home. He wished he could get her to open up and tell him everything he wanted to know.
“Let’s get to it. Thanks for lunch, Emma.” He kissed her on the top of the head and started clearing the table.