by Elena Aitken
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. What’s going on with Nick?”
“Nothing.” She wasn’t a great liar, but maybe if she stuck as closely to the truth as possible, she could get out of the conversation without actually telling Jenny anything. “We’re friends.”
“Friends?”
“We’ve always been friends,” she said. “Nick is like another brother to me. Growing up, it was like if you had one, you had both. Wherever one went, the other was there. Nick was always at our family dinners and holidays. Sometimes I had a hard time remembering that he even had another family.”
Sometimes. Then there were all the other times when Marissa would lay awake, fantasizing about Nick actually being part of her family because he was with her. Because they’d grown up and gotten married. The daydreams of a lovestruck little girl? Maybe. But damned if those same feelings hadn’t stuck around for all these years.
Marissa swallowed hard.
“But what about now?” Jenny pushed. “That was a long time ago. You’re adults now.”
“He’s still part of the family.” Marissa laughed in an attempt to sound casual, but judging by the look on Jenny’s face, she’d failed. “He is,” she said again, more serious. “Nick is and always has been part of the family.”
“But you have feelings for him.”
Marissa’s mouth opened and closed. Did this woman have some sort of psychic abilities? She glanced around at the other women soaking in the pool nearby. They were either lost in conversation of their own, or drifting into sleep, but no one paid any attention to Jenny and Marissa’s conversation.
A million options danced through her head. She could deny it. She could laugh it off or protest, but in the end, Marissa sighed and sank deeper into the hot, therapeutic waters. “You can’t say anything.”
“I knew it.” Jenny didn’t sound righteous, though. She only smiled sadly at Marissa. “But...”
“How do you know there’s a but?”
“Because if there wasn’t, we’d be celebrating you and Nick and your wedding too, don’t you think?”
Marissa almost choked. Wedding? That was a leap. A huge leap.
“I don’t think so,” she finally managed to say. “It was a long time ago.” She couldn’t be sure why she lied to Jenny, especially considering the door was wide open for her to tell the truth, but something stopped her. Suddenly, it just didn’t seem like a good idea to tell her the truth.
“What do you mean?”
Marissa laughed and looked away. “When I was a kid, I had a huge crush on Nick, but it was totally ridiculous and it was a long time ago.”
Jenny eyed her carefully, as if she didn’t quite believe her. “When you were a kid?”
“Well,” Marissa admitted, “a teenager. For a while there, I convinced myself that I was madly in love with Nick and that we were meant to be together.” She couldn’t help feel a pang in her chest as she spoke the words aloud. “But then I grew up and it passed.”
“It did?”
Marissa nodded. “It did.”
Jenny opened her mouth to say something, but then obviously changed her mind and closed it again.
“Like I said, it was a long time ago. Nick Slater is just a friend.”
“Nick Slater?” Jenny’s cousin Audrey appeared beside them. “He’s so hot, don’t you think?”
Marissa shrugged and tried her best to swallow the jealousy that threatened to bubble over.
“Jenny told me he was single.”
Audrey looked at Marissa, as she needed her clarification, so finally Marissa said, “As far as I know.”
“Good.” The other woman licked her lips. “I’m totally going to go after that.”
“Go after that?”
“Totally. He’s single—I’m single. It’s a wedding. And everyone knows what happens at weddings.”
Marissa was pretty sure she didn’t want to know, but she couldn’t help but ask, “And what’s that?”
“Love connections, obviously.”
“Obviously.” Marissa’s voice sounded numb and far away even to her own ears.
“I may have encouraged Audrey when it comes to Nick,” Jenny said next to her. “After all, they are both single. But then, after the other day, I wasn’t sure it was a good idea anymore.”
“What?”
“Why?”
Marissa and Audrey spoke at the same time.
“Why wouldn’t you think it was a good idea?” Marissa asked.
“I don’t know.” Jenny stretched her arms over her head and rolled her neck. “But when I saw you guys together, I just thought that maybe...but I guess it’s nothing. I was wrong.”
“What did you think?” Marissa’s stomach flipped a little.
“I must have just seen the connection that you guys had from years ago,” Jenny continued. “Because if you say there’s nothing between you two, then I believe you.”
She couldn’t see Jenny’s face, but something told Marissa that her sister-in-law to-be did not believe her.
“And I guess there’s nothing stopping Audrey from going after that.”
“Ha!” Audrey did a shimmy in the water. “You better believe it.”
The conversation around her faded away from any mention of Nick as Jenny’s cousins grilled her on plans for the honeymoon. Soon, their mothers joined in and moments later, they were all whisked away by the spa staff for their various treatments.
Marissa was scheduled for a massage, but despite the masseuse’s best attempts, she simply couldn’t relax. Her thoughts were consumed with Nick and Jenny’s cousin and what had stopped her from telling Jenny the truth.
Chapter Seven
“So you’ll stand here, Nick.” Eva, the wedding coordinator, jabbed her finger toward a spot next to the pond. They’d been at the ceremony venue for at least twenty minutes and so far, Nick had counted at least three places where he’d been told to stand.
But he didn’t say anything. Instead, he dutifully smiled and nodded at the wedding coordinator and moved to the new spot.
“Great,” Eva said. “I think that’s much better, don’t you, Jenny?”
“Absolutely. I really want the water in the background of our vows.”
“Of course. But not too close to the waterfall or your guests in the back won’t be able to hear you speak.”
Nick stopped listening. The two women had been discussing the various pros and cons for different locations for the vows. As far as Nick could tell, they were all the same with only the slightest modifications in where he stood.
And Missy.
He looked across the space to where Missy stood, looking equally checked out and lost in thought. She looked beautiful. He didn’t think it was possible for her to look prettier than she had that morning in the kitchen handing him a cup of coffee, but it was.
She wore a simple sundress and held a single daisy in lieu of the bouquet she’d likely be holding at the actual wedding. Her hair fell around her shoulders, soft and shiny, making him want to run his fingers through it. Her skin glowed, and her lips were a pale pink. And even from a distance, he could see the way they glistened with the barest shine that called to him to kiss them.
“Hey.” Jake elbowed him in the ribs and immediately guilt flooded through him.
Did Jake know what he was thinking?
Could he see the way he was looking at his little sister?
Nick turned and raised his eyebrows in response.
“Is this nuts?” Jake asked.
“Is what nuts?”
Jake sighed. “All of this. I mean, how hard can it be? I just want to be done with this already and get married.”
“You are getting married.”
“I know. But I’m ready now. I don’t see why we need to rehearse it. Let’s just do it.”
Nick patted his buddy on the arm. “Patience, brother. It’s going to be perfect.”
“I know.” He rolled his eyes. “But frankly, I think it w
ould be perfect if we got married in a backyard somewhere. As long as I get to be with Jenny, I don’t care how it happens.”
Nick laughed and Missy glanced in their direction. She lifted her eyebrows in question, and Nick winked at her.
“What the hell was that?” Jake smacked him and across the aisle Missy laughed. “Did you just wink at my sister?”
Caught out, Nick brushed it off with a chuckle. “No way,” he said as he avoided her eyes. “I’m just so caught up in the love here I think I got something in my eye.”
“Right.” Jake joined him in a laugh and when he was sufficiently distracted, Nick finally risked a glance back in Missy’s direction. Her pretty mouth had dipped into a slight frown, her brow wrinkled in thought. And she wouldn’t look at him.
* * *
She tried not to let it bother her, but Marissa kept replaying the scene outside in her head long after the rehearsal was finished and they’d moved inside for drinks before dinner.
He’d winked at her. She’d caught him watching her, and it had made her feel all warm inside. And then he’d winked.
But that’s when the warmth faded, because a moment later Jake and Nick had obviously turned it into some kind of joke, and she’d heard him deny it.
Why?
Because she was still Missy. He still thought of her only as his best friend’s little sister.
And isn’t that why she’d hesitated telling Jenny the truth earlier? Because she was still so uncertain? Or because she already knew that no matter how things had changed, they would never really change?
“Hey kiddo.” Her dad joined her at the bar where she’d been watching the business of the room from afar. “What are you doing hiding over here?”
She leaned into his hug. “I just needed a little break,” she said. “It’s already been such a busy weekend.”
“That it has.” He took a sip of his Scotch. “That it has.”
“But it’s so great for Jake,” Marissa added quickly. “I mean, Jenny is great and this wedding is just going to be perfect. Really, it’s been so perfect already and—”
“I know what you mean, kiddo.” With his arm still around her shoulder, he gave her a little squeeze. “You don’t have to worry about me. I understand.”
She laughed a little.
“Just promise me when you get married, you’ll elope.”
Shocked, she pulled back and stared at her dad.
“I’m joking, kiddo.” He laughed. “I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world.”
She shook her head, but suddenly didn’t feel like smiling. “Well, you don’t have to worry about that anytime soon.”
Her dad tilted his head in question. “Still no one special?”
She couldn’t help it. Her gaze traveled across the room to where Jenny’s cousins stood around Nick, transfixed by some story he was telling. “Not really.”
“I see.”
“No!” She turned to her dad. “It’s not like that. Really, Dad. It’s not...I’m not...”
He chuckled and patted her hand. “Don’t worry, kiddo. Your time will come.” He kissed her on the forehead and moved away before she could say anything else. With a sigh, Marissa turned her back to the room and her life and caught the bartender’s eye. “A vodka soda, please.”
“Make it two.”
She stiffened at the sound of Nick’s voice, but then relaxed when he brushed up against her arm.
“How did you manage to tear yourself away from your admirers?” She accepted the drink from the bartender and lifted it in thanks as Nick paid for them both. “It looked like a pretty intense conversation.”
“Not really.” Together they turned to face the room, although neither of them were paying any attention to anything else. “I told them I had important bridal party business to attend to.”
Marissa couldn’t help but feel a flicker of disappointment that he hadn’t just told them that he wanted to talk to her. Why did they have to be a secret?
“Well, I guess that’s probably true,” she said after a moment. “Do we need to talk about the speeches or anything?”
Nick half turned so he faced her. “I just said that, Missy. But I really just wanted to come talk to you. I haven’t seen you all day.”
“Hi.” She refused to look at him.
“Hi,” he repeated. “How was your day at the spa?”
Marissa eyed him from the corner of her eye but still wouldn’t face him. “Really?”
“Really. I want to know.”
“No you don’t.” She shook her head and looked away.
“Missy.” He grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him. “What’s going on?” His touch made her all warm inside, but as soon as her eyes met his, he dropped his hand. She shook her head and looked away. “Seriously,” Nick said. “What’s going on? This morning you were all—”
“I was what?” She hissed beneath her breath. “I was all into you? Is that what you were going to say?”
“Well...no...but...” He glanced around to see whether anyone was watching. “Keep your voice down, or—”
“Or everyone will hear?” She put her hands on her hips. Enough was enough. Whatever had happened between them obviously wasn’t anything important. Not to him anyway. Eight years ago, he’d laughed at her. This time, he’d treated her like a dirty little secret.
Either way, it wasn’t good enough.
“I don’t care if anyone hears, Nick. But obviously you do.” Her voice shook and she hated it, but she still needed to say everything she was thinking. She had to get it out this time. She could no longer keep it inside. “Because the truth is—”
“No,” he interrupted her. “Not here.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the bar and out a side door that led to a pathway that snaked around the building and into the surrounding woods. “Whatever you have to say to me, do it out here.”
“Because God forbid you’re seen talking with me in public. Right, Nick?”
“No.” He frowned. “That’s not what this is about at all, Missy. Just stop.”
But she couldn’t stop. She’d had enough and she was hurt and it was all too much.
“No, Nick. I just—”
“Missy,” he said again. “Stop. Please.”
She took a breath. And then another.
“This is Jake and Jenny’s weekend,” Nick continued. “I just didn’t want this to impact their weekend in any way or draw attention away from them.”
That was a good point.
Marissa swallowed hard. “Right.”
“Now what were you going to say to me?”
Chapter Eight
Nick managed to calm her down enough that she no longer looked as though she was going to spit nails at him, but it still wasn’t enough.
Or maybe it was.
“I can’t do this, Nick.”
His heart sank because he knew what she was saying. Without her even having to speak the words out loud, he knew what she meant. But then she clarified.
“Eight years ago, I was in love with you.” Her words hit him so hard his heart fluttered. “I thought you loved me too.”
Desperately, every part of him wanted to tell her how much he had loved her. How much he still loved her. Had never stopped loving her. He opened his mouth but closed it again when he couldn’t find the words.
“I took a chance, Nick.” She looked so vulnerable in front of him, pouring her heart out and opening herself to what had to be the most sensitive part of her, but still, he was frozen, unable to appropriately respond. “And you laughed. You actually laughed.”
The word was like daggers in his gut. He flinched, although it was doubtful she noticed. He should have said a million things. He could have come up with a million ways to defend or explain his actions of that night eight years ago, but he couldn’t. It was his chance to tell her why he’d turned her away. Why he’d pushed her away that night. How it saved both of them and the family they both loved.
&nb
sp; But he couldn’t.
He was a coward.
Nick’s mouth opened and closed and still, no words came out. Not the ones that mattered, anyway. The only thing he could say was, “I don’t remember that.”
It was a lie. An ugly, hurtful lie and judging by the look on her face, it was a lie that cut her to the quick. It hurt him physically to watch the pain it caused her to digest that lie. Because the truth was, he remembered that night in vivid Technicolor.
Of course he did.
He remembered the way she’d come to him. Heady and excited on the high of graduating high school, with her whole life in front of her.
She’d looked amazing.
And she walked right up to him, told him how much she loved him, and kissed him. Just like that.
It was the single best kiss of his life.
Hands down.
Until last night.
But instead of doing what he should have done—instead of wrapping his arms around her and holding her close while he pressed his lips to hers the way he’d wanted to for at least over a year—he’d pushed her away. And then he’d laughed.
It was the only thing he knew to do because eight years ago, Jake had taken Nick aside and told him how much he valued their relationship. How much their brotherhood meant to him. Maybe he knew what Nick was thinking when it came to his sister. Maybe he didn’t. But either way, Jake had hugged him and told him how nothing could ever come between them. Not even a girl. Especially not a girl. And not even an hour after that conversation, Missy had come home from her graduation dance and kissed him.
He’d panicked.
How could he sacrifice his entire relationship with Jake—his family—for a girl?
Not even for Missy.
And eight years later, it was the same thing all over again. His relationship with Jake meant the world. The Duncans were everything to him. More family than his own. Heck, after this weekend, he probably didn’t even have a job with his family business and his own father would have even less of a reason to talk to him on a monthly basis. No. Jake and the Duncans were everything to him.