“Your phone.” Samar’s voice pulled me out of my reverie.
I gathered the phone from his hand without looking at him. I again wanted to tell him I didn’t do it, but I would cry if I spoke a single word and what did it matter when he had the proof? So, I simply walked past him towards the door.
“Tia.”
I stopped but didn’t turn back.
“Don’t worry, I will sort it out.”
I spun around and looked into his eyes, there was no anger in them, no doubt, but a lot of worry. My throat hurt from the effort to not cry. I nodded and walked out before my tears started flowing. I dragged my legs to my car, but I couldn’t muster the courage to start it. I allowed the reality to sink in and my mind wandered into the worst-case scenario. Word spreads fast in the industry and my career might be doomed. I could be punished through no fault of my own. Amid all the chaos, Samar’s trust held me. He didn’t ask me once why I did it. His trust on me…why was it so unshakable? And why did it make me cry?
My phone buzzed with a message from the same unknown number, but I was already on the verge of breakdown so I just blocked the number without bothering to read the messages, though at the back of my mind ’12 unread messages’ was taking a toll on me.
“Why are you early?” Mom touched my forehead as soon as she opened the door for me. “What happened? Are you ok?” She studied my face. I hugged her tightly and began to cry.
“What happened Tia?” She gently stroked my hair.
Once I was inside the house, I told her everything that transpired at my office in one breath, but I didn’t tell her anything about the stalker, I just wanted to push it to the back of my mind, as if doing that would alter the truth. After talking to her I resigned to my room and laid down on the bed. Seconds ticked by, stretching like hours. I contemplated reading the messages of the stalker, but my heart couldn’t take anymore so I decided against it.
The day dragged by, mom tried to cheer me up with little talk and making my favourite food. I ate lasagne, but it tasted bitter, anything would have. I just forced down the food so mom wouldn’t worry any more than she already did. I lied that I wanted to sleep so she would leave, but sleep was nowhere in sight. I kept checking my phone every few minutes, though the ringtone was set at full volume.
The last I knew I saw the clock ticking at two in the night when finally sleep consumed me. I woke up late next day with a headache. And the first thing I did was check my phone. No missed calls or messages. Should I have been waiting for notice instead? My head spun at the thought. I walked to the washroom but as soon as my phone rang with Samar’s name, I leapt on it.
“Hello.” Both of my hands gripped the phone so tight that it hurt.
“Come to office right away.” Samar said and disconnected the phone.
I was in Samar’s cabin in 55 minutes. Samar was standing by the window gazing out, with his hands in his pockets. Sakshi was sitting on one of the two chairs kept opposite to his table and she was crying.
“What happened?” I asked for the second time.
“Will you enlighten her, or should I?” Samar’s voice was thick with anger when he turned back and glared at Sakshi.
“What? What’s going on? For god’s sake please tell me what’s going on.” I kept my purse on the chair next to Sakshi, but I didn’t sit. I didn’t want to make myself comfortable. What if I was asked to leave after whatever the hell happened was disclosed to me?
“I…I am sorry, Tia.” Sakshi finally spoke amid her sobs.
“Sorry? For what? What happened Sakshi?” I wanted to soothe her, but my legs were jammed, and I prepared myself for the ugly truth.
“I…Tia…I” She fidgeted with her fingers. “Sent that email.”
“But how? How did you know my password?” I stepped towards her. That was a foolish question, she didn’t need to answer that because I remembered entering my password with her hovering over me endless times, so I asked the more important question.
“But why? I thought we were friends.” I closed my eyes not wanting to face the truth, and all the fun moments I shared with her started floating in my mind. I trusted her. God, I trusted her.
“I am sorry, Tia.” Her voice cut through the vivid memories of happier times. “I needed a job they were offering me and they promised pay and position hike but they needed some information before they could offer it to me.”
Finally, I let myself fall on the chair next to her, rested my head on the headrest and closed my eyes. I should have been relieved that my name was clear, but the hurt of betrayal overshadowed the joy of being proven non-guilty.
“You can leave.” Samar’s tone was harsh when he talked to Sakshi, I didn’t open my eyes to see her going. I didn’t want to see her right now.
“I am sorry, Tia. Please forgive me….” Sakshi kept on muttering her apologies, but I didn’t open my eyes, I brushed away her hand when she touched my elbow.
“Please leave.” Samar’s voice cut through her pleading, but she kept muttering sorry until she left the cabin. The silence was heavy once she was out of the cabin, once her pleading stopped hitting my ears, once the reality sank in.
Finally, when I opened my eyes, I found Samar sitting on the chair that Sakshi left. I recalled his words. “You are too trusting.” In that moment I saw so many emotions in his eyes but couldn’t name a single one. I braced myself for a good scolding for being so stupid, and then I readied myself for some words of encouragement, but all that came from him was: “I have sent you the details of the latest project. Give me the data. Fast.”
I looked at him bewildered, confused by my own emotions, disappointed and relieved at the same time. Not sure what to make out of that moment I just nodded and walked out.
I sat with my eyes closed on my chair still trying to wrap my mind around the truth.
“I can’t believe this.” I opened my eyes at Devansh’s statement. “Sakshi? I mean Sakshi?” He had pulled his chair near to my desk.
I bit my lips; he was asking the same question I was already tired of asking myself. Betrayal stung and I had learnt an important lesson in my life.
Trusting someone is not a sin, but you might be punished for it.
“Tia.” Devansh hesitated.
“Yes.” His tone alerted me and confusion in his eyes added to my curiosity. He toyed with the pen on the table as if deciding on whether he should just divert the topic or tell me what was on his mind.
“Tia, Samar went out of his way to prove your innocence. He didn’t doubt you for a second. I also trusted you but…” He stopped playing with the pen, maybe regretting the slip of his feelings. He didn’t pick up on his unfinished sentence when he spoke again. “Yesterday Samar had a big fight with the management. Nobody could convince him that you were a fraud.”
My chair was at 180 degree from my desk and I glanced at Samar’s cabin. His glass was partially frosted, but I could see his face, his eyes were fixed at his laptop, the same eyes that looked emotionless to me. He was the same man who told me not to trust anyone, the same man who trusted me for no reason. The upheaval of emotions was so strong that it almost unhinged me.
“He was just mad, and he got the technical team working. He made them work the entire night and finally they found out the IP address from where the email was sent. It was Sakshi’s laptop. He had turned the office upside down to prove your innocence.”
“Hmmm.” Is all that I managed to say because with words my tears would break free. Thankfully, Devansh took the hint and left.
My intercom buzzed and I picked up the call.
“Your password was changed for obvious reasons.” It was Samar. “Write down your new password.”
I nodded as if he could see me. For the first time it hit me he could of course see me from his cabin, from the window of plane glass amid the frosted design. I pulled out pen and paper from the drawer. He spelled each word of my new password.
D
O
N
&
nbsp; T
T
R
U
S
T
A
N
Y
O
N
E
He disconnected the phone and I stared at my new password.
DONT TRUST ANYONE
21. Tia
The moonless sky didn’t offer anything to the pitch-dark night. The only light illuminating the unnervingly deserted road came from the headlight of my bike. But then one more light cut through the darkness. I saw a bike in the rear-view mirror. I tried hard, but I couldn’t see the biker, his face was blurred, all I could see were his bulging eyes; red, scary, angry and lustful. Panicked, I raised the speed of my bike, but it still couldn’t compete with my heartbeat that was almost audible now. In the rear-view mirror I saw him following me, his sinful laughter piercing the silence, and slowly and slowly the distance between us decreased. Suddenly the echo of his laughter dissipated in the air…and…and…he was driving by my side…The temperature in the air dropped …wicked cold swallowed the night, “Finally, I got you…my little doll.” His big scary hands came toward me….
I closed my eyes and I screamed, and I screamed, and I screamed.
“Tia, what happened Tia?” Two hands held my shoulders, but the touch didn’t scare me, in fact, it comforted me. But I was still shouting. The hands became firm around my shoulders.
“Tia, wake up Tia!” It was at those words my eyes snapped open. It took me a while to control my breathing and take in my surroundings.
It was a dream…I calmed down…it was a dream…I sat up with a jolt and hugged mom so tightly that I almost smothered her.
“Was it a nightmare?” She gently stroked my hairs.
I nodded, in my mind still running away from those sinful eyes, they were still following me. Where could I hide?
“Drink some water.” Mom picked up the water bottle from side table. I gulped down the whole bottle in few seconds and then I kept my head on her lap and she stroked my hairs until I surrendered to a dreamless sleep.
Next morning, I woke up with a headache.
“Did you get a good sleep?” mom was standing at the door with a cup of much needed hot coffee.
“Yup,” I got up and tied my hairs in a knot.
“All Ok, Tia?” She sat beside me on the bed and studied me for a while “Everything at the office is sorted. Right?”
I nodded. I considered telling her about the stalker, but when I saw the clock ticking 8.00, I decided against it. She would have lots of questions and I would be late for office.
Samar didn’t come to pick me up, so it was only me and Devansh who carpooled, and it continued like that for a long time. In the office also Samar avoided me, he didn’t even include me in much of the meetings, though he kept me in loop via emails. Our daily meetings had become daily email updates. His cabin was just a few steps away from my desk, but in my mind the distance had increased, so much so that he seemed unreachable. After his unwavering trust in me, a strange longing had enveloped me, whenever I was anxious, which was too often as the fear of the stalker was becoming an inseparable part of me, I yearned for his soothing voice ‘Don’t worry, I will sort it out.” I didn’t talk to mom about the stalker because she might get over possessive. I still remember when I was in 12th standard, a guy named Pritesh had started following me; mom didn’t even allow me to step out of home alone, she accompanied me everywhere, to my school, my tuitions, and frankly he wasn’t even dangerous, he was kind of cute. The day I told mom, my freedom would be taken away from me. Until now, the stalker didn’t dare reach me, so I was still hoping it would just be a prank from someone, but I instantly realised how weak my hope was.
“Can I ask you something?” Devansh’s voice sounded as if it was coming from far off.
I pulled myself from my worries and looked at him puzzled. His tone was serious, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to go ahead but I nodded.
“Is something going on between you and Samar?”
His question took me off guard, but more than that, my own feeling surprised me, how desperately I wanted to nod in response.
“NOOO…what made you think that?”
“Everyone in the office can see that, Tia. Can’t you?” He stopped the car at the red signal and looked at me.
“See what?”
He smiled sarcastically. “Samar went as far as saying that he will put down his papers if you were found guilty.”
“What?” I almost jumped out of my seat. His words comforted and disturbed me at the same time. An intense longing washed over me like waves on the shores, but like the wave rushes back, the longing didn’t rush back, instead it drowned me in its fragile existence. Still reeling from the sudden surge of emotions, I said, “But…don’t you see how much he avoids me.”
“We thought you might be avoiding him. We though after the incident with Sakshi you must have realised he loves you and maybe you can’t reciprocate that feeling so you must be avoiding him.” He thought for a while before continuing. “You know he calls me daily and confirms if I am car-pooling with you. He’s also told me that if someday I am not available, I should tell him in advance. Maybe he will accompany you then.” He paused. “Is that stalker still following you?”
Was it why Samar suggested car-pooling? Did he see that incident that day from his window?
I shook my head; I didn’t want to talk about it. Not now.
“I’ve worked with Samar for years, Tia. And to tell you the truth, I didn’t think that man was capable of loving someone.” There was some bitterness in his voice. “But you changed him Tia. I don’t blame him. Anyone can fall in love with….” He bit his lip as if he said more than intended. My gaze dropped to the big engagement ring on his ring finger.
Thankfully the signal turned green and his eyes shifted to the road and remained there.
The rest of the journey passed in uncomfortable silence.
22. The Dark R
oom
…Now
Tia’s curled in her bed, shocked at her capacity to cry, like her tear glands have gone defective, with a huge leakage. She remembers the stories her mother told her when she was a kid, all the good people were beautiful and all the monsters had big teeth, scary eyes. In real life, who can recognize the monster? Why don’t they have big teeth? How the hell can one recognize the monster hidden beneath an average or even beautiful face? Why were those stories so far away from reality and why the hell were they so widespread?
Three ticks on the lock and all of Tia’s thought converge into panic. As usual, food is thrown at her as if she is some filthy roaming animal on the streets and the rhyme plays in the background. This time it is the voice of a little girl.
"I am love, a little too strong, a little too mad, a little too hard.
What do you call me?
Beautiful or Dangerous?"
Amid that ugly rhyme Tia hears a small sound, a small metal contacting the floor, the voice is almost inaudible, but she knows it is there. A forgotten spark ignites in her eyes, but thankfully it’s hidden beneath the blindfold. The captor gives her the prick, but it takes some time to take its effect and the captor leaves immediately.
As soon as she hears the door locking, Tia drags herself over the floor and searches the floor and finds something…it’s something small, circular in shape…
It’s a ring.
Tia feels the ring with her hands. It a huge ring, with a big diamond embedded in the middle and a little heart shape on each side. She continues tracing her fingers over it. She hurries to the bed before the drugs consumes her and pushes the ring beneath the mattress before drifting away.
A smile caresses her face as she drifts away.
She has found something new to occupy her mind.
She has found a new obsession.
23. Tia
Then…
“Hey, prank master? What’s the matter? We don’t see any more pranks.�
� Neena, our HR manger interrupted my thoughts when she passed by my cubicle.
So much had changed with the breach of trust. It’s not that I’d never been betrayed by my friends. But they were little betrayals, some backbiting, leaked secrets and all. What happened with Sakshi shook me to the core. Samar’s indifferent behaviour and Devansh’s unfinished statement added to the tension. And the fear of the stalker was increasing by leaps and bounds. A morbid fear of being watched every moment gnawed at my gut.
“Yup, work has caught me finally, I guess.” I faked a smile, but to tell the truth I missed Sakshi, more during lunch time. No matter what she had done, we had our fun moments. She’d sent me dozens of messages saying how sorry she was, and her missed calls crowded my call list. She gave a written apology and a statement that she wouldn’t join any competitor for two years and our CEO didn’t file a case against her.
I suppressed the urge to call her back and walked to the pantry. It was empty, and I realised it was way beyond lunch time, but I still wasn’t hungry. I pulled out a chair near the window and gazed out at the sky, a tiny cloud that looked like a carefree bird gained my attention. Why did it make me sad? Did it remind me of myself?
My tiffin was still untouched, I knew I needed to finish it to avoid endless questions from mom, but I just couldn’t bring myself to open it. Against my better judgment I opened the first message from my stalker.
My breath caught at the sight of the message. It was my photo when I was watering the plants in my garden, it was taken from a distance. In other message I was shopping at the mall, in yet another I was on my way to home from office. With every new photo I felt my life slipping through my fingers and passing on to the hand of my stalker. He was watching me constantly. But the worst was yet to come.
Panic gnawed at my gut when I saw the next photo, my hands trembled so hard that the phone fell down, but I didn’t dare to pick it up, I didn’t dare touch the phone which was spoiled with the message, “All I want is you, you and you. I want to eat you. Alive.” The captions appeared bold beneath my photo in a blue T-shirt and black jeans, with bite marks spread at all the wrong places. My stomach churned and I was suddenly nauseous.
Beyond Lies Page 6