by Sariah Skye
“Cadegan here is the newest member of our meteorology department. I assume you can find him something to do?” I asked.
She nodded quickly. “Of course!” She politely gave several orders to her fellow cooks and motioned to the new Baron to follow her, giving me an expectant look as she passed me.
I grinned smugly to myself, pleased that I could make someone’s day, even though mine currently sucked.
A female staff member offered me some beef stew, sourdough rolls, and red wine to be brought to my bedchambers, but I declined, opting instead to eat in the casual atmosphere of the kitchens. She seemed startled, but obliged, even as she continued baking some delicious, sweet smelling treats.
“What are you making there?” I asked her, watching her and several others frantically slaving over hot stoves and piles of dough.
“Cookies, myself. Others are doing cakes and other pastries for the party tomorrow,” she replied stiffly.
After a few bites of food and drink of wine I noticed a hush fall over the kitchen; when I’d entered minutes before it was noisy with laughter and gossip. “I’m making you uncomfortable, aren’t I?”
She shook her head quickly. “No! It’s not that, we’re just surprised that you’re here! No Queen—or King for that matter—has ever dined in the kitchens!”
I shrugged, tearing off a large bite of roll. “I do things differently.”
“I see that,” she said, as her young face widened into a bright smile. “And good. We welcome it.”
I smiled at her, and offered a wink. “I’ve never noticed so many people here before. Or do you just normally hide?”
She snickered. “No, we are part time kitchen staff. We come in when there are big parties and whatnot to cook for. Many of us own eateries and taverns in the kingdom.”
“Ah, I see. Well, keep up the good work.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” she said, with a swooping bow. “It means a lot to hear the monarchy praise our hard work.” She offered me a plate of cookies she’d finished minutes ago. “Take as many as you like.”
“Just one will do.” I smiled, taking one and the warm, crumbly, sweetness melted in my mouth. I sighed happily. “This is the best I’ve felt all day. Thank you.” I gave her a wave before I left the kitchens, leaving her beaming and proud along with the rest of the staff in the kitchens.
I didn’t have any place to be, exactly. I assumed everyone figured that I’d be indisposed for the day, after learning of our…ordeal. But, remaining immobile was the last thing I wanted.
I left the castle and headed, on foot, through the bright, sunny fields for my family’s home about a mile or so away. After the storm banishing it felt warmer than normal for October and I welcomed it. Especially today.
I ambled lackadaisically, still nibbling on the sugar cookie as I walked, not realizing that I’d reached the mytho refugee village in back of my home.
Braeden looked bored, standing at a podium at the entrance of the village, making beeping sounds as he played with his phone.
“If it was this easy to be a guard, I would have applied for this position years ago,” I quipped at him.
His gaze flew up, scowling when it landed on me. “Haha, Leo. What are you doing here? I figured you’d be—” He stopped, mid-sentence. I know what he was going to say: I figured you’d be mourning the baby.
“I figured I would be too, but I needed to get out for a bit. I don’t know what I’m doing—no one’s told me anything all day—so I just started walking,” I said.
Braeden glanced behind me. Paranoid, I turned around, to see what he was gazing at.
“Just checking to see where your guard is,” he replied. “Donneghan?”
Donneghan emerged from behind a tree, with a single wave. “Yes, Baron. I’m here.”
My brother just waved at him. “Just making sure.”
I laughed. “Didn’t even know he was there.”
“That’s the idea,” Braeden said with a wink. “Something about those orange dragons…”
“Right…”
“If you’re looking for Kit, last I saw her she was helping out Esmé in the infirmary tent,” Braeden said.
“Oh, I’m not—” I started, but when Kit emerged from the flap of the tent, I smiled, realizing subconsciously that was probably exactly why I was here.
She caught my eye, immediately giving me a mournful look. She knew.
Kit and I briskly paced the dirt paths that had been worn over several weeks of walking and met in the center of ‘town’.
She briefly appeared sympathetic but, she bit her lip and just reached for my hands. As straight-faced as she could, she asked, “What can I do for you, Leo?”
I blinked, thinking about the nature of her question. So far I’d been asked “Are you okay?” (Of course I’m not okay!) or “I’m sorry!” (I am too!) but her question sort of pushed me over the edge.
I stared at her with blurry vision, as my eyes swelled with tears. “Bring my baby back?”
Kit’s blue eyes matched mine in sadness, and she tightly wrapped her arms around me, burying my face in her shoulder. “It’s okay…just let it out.”
“It’s not fair, Kit! It’s just not! Do you know what’s worse?” I cried into her arm, smearing my tears on the pretty ribbing of her long, regal, blue velvet cloak. If anyone were to guess who the queen was and who was the mess, the formerly injured at this moment, it’d surely be her as the queen. I was a mess.
“I know all about it, hun. Finnian told me,” she said quietly.
I lifted my head and snickered. “I don’t know if I should be mad at him, or…”
Kit pat me on the shoulder. “He didn’t want you to have to explain the whole thing again. I’m sure it was hard enough to tell the first time.”
Sniffling, I smeared away the tearstains with my fingertips. “Yeah. It was.”
Kit exhaled slowly. “I’ll tell you what, though. He’s not going to give up until he finds a solution. I promise you that.”
I nodded slowly.
“Let’s go sit down and talk for a bit.” I hung my head lowly to avoid the curious stares of all the mythos in the refugee camp. Kiarra would kick my butt for it, but I just didn’t want to deal with any more sympathetic or inquisitive faces right now; nor should I have to. Queen or not, I needed to feel what I was going to feel without prying eyes.
At the edge of the camp we reached Kit’s tent, only slightly larger than a family-sized camping tent. A ghost of a smile quirked my lips as I viewed the bright sunflowers and bold designs she had painted all over the outside of the canvas; making it truly stand out amongst a sea of white, tan, and other neutral colors. Most mythos hadn’t bothered to paint their tents, and the ones that did weren’t this detailed; probably figuring it was only temporary I’m sure. But, Kit was never one to be dull.
A tabby cat sunbathed in front of the tent’s opening; I recognized him to be one of Kit’s independent pets.
“You found them all?” I inquired, leaning over to offer the cat an opportunity to smell my hand. He simply turned his nose up at me and sauntered away carelessly. I chuckled. “That’s okay, I’m not impressed with my own royalty either.”
Kit laughed. “Yeah they’ve all been found; either dining on mice or rummaging through compost heaps.” She lifted the flap and we both ducked—me much less than her—to fit inside.
I was surprised to see Orion, sitting at a lone, wooden desk, bent over a sheet of paper, looking handsome and thoughtful as he poured over—a letter? I didn’t know.
He was shirtless, revealing a sculpted muscular chest; the contract of his midnight skin next to the pale pine of the wood was striking.
He looked up through his bright blue eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know we’d have company.” He flashed me a wide smile, setting aside whatever he was writing to stand, pressing his hands together in front of his pectorals and bowing at the waist.
“No need,” I said, with a flippant gesture.
“She’s just here as a friend, and not a queen today, O,” she said, her smile bright as she grinned at him.
“I see. Girl talk and things, yes? Well, I’ve got some business to attend to elsewhere; I’ll give you some privacy.” Orion stepped out from behind the desk, revealing not much more clothing on his bottom half; the short, barely-there shorts did little to hide his powerful, lithe legs. He paused before leaving to caress Kit on the cheek gently, giving her a gentle kiss on the lips. “Good day, Leorah,” he said, disappearing out of the tent.
Despite my feelings, my mouth fell open. “So, things are going well with the unicorn shifter, eh?” I wiggled my brows at her.
Kit’s cheeks turned shades of red. “Yes, they are. Who would have ever thought my obsession with unicorns would turn into a relationship with one?” She giggled, and offered for me to sit down on her rumpled bed. I saw clothes strewn about on either side, winced, and opted for a folding chair nearby.
“I think I’ll just sit here,” I said, with a wink.
She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Oh come on, not like you don’t have your own veritable love nest now!”
My smile fell.
Kit sat at the edge of the bed, kicking clothing with her feet further underneath it. “It will get better, Leo.”
“Will it, though?” I sighed, folding my hands in my lap, I twirled the “wedding” rings on my ring finger. I briefly felt a surge of strong emotion as I touched the metal Maxxus had forged. “He was acting so weird lately. I thought it was just the baby-thing. Being nervous, and all. Since we found out about…everything…he’s barely spoken to me today.”
“Just one day Leo? Come on, give him more time to process than that,” she urged. “You’re both hurting. It’ll take some time to adjust.”
“But…what if he never does? What if the baby thing is a deal-breaker? We won’t be on the throne forever, I wouldn’t blame him for leaving me for someone who can give him children,” I said, my throat trembling as I spoke the words.
“He’s not going to leave you,” Kit insisted. “Dragons live for a long time, right?”
I just nodded.
“Give Finnian time. A hundred years or so is nothing for you, right? He should come up with something in that time. And if he doesn’t, I will. Okay? Just have faith okay?” Kit’s eyes were pleading as she spoke.
“Why would Finnian care so much about my ability to have kids?” I asked, bewildered.
Kit appeared as if she wanted to say more, but couldn’t.
“Kit?” I raised one brow at her.
“All he has told me is that he’s in charge of keeping the balance. It is tipped away from you, negatively, so he feels it’s up to him to put it right, as much as he can,” Kit said. She glanced away momentarily. “And, because of…personal reasons.”
“Personal?”
Kit sighed heavily, as if she were about to divulge something big. “Finnian and I have talked a bit, about life and things during my training. One of the reasons I told him I wanted to be a Loremaster was because I felt I’d have longevity somehow. I wanted to do something big, and important since life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would.”
My brow slanted upward. “What happened?”
Kit’s expression was far-away. “Probably one of the reasons we relate to each other, is our desire to have our own family. As you know, mine is…dysfunctional.”
I chortled. “I get that!”
“My family is very religious. They never understood that I just didn’t follow the same path; that I had my own beliefs, and my own way of doing things. My sister got married right out of college, had that perfect family, beautiful house, dog, two-point-five children and everything. Even though I thought I believed differently, I never stopped wanting what she had, deep down.” Kit sighed sadly. “Well, I’ve always had some health issues. One of the reasons I began eating vegan. I hoped the diet would help my endometriosis.”
“What’s that?” I questioned.
“It’s where your uterus doesn’t shed its lining; there’s hormonal things happening…it’s painful, and uncomfortable,” she explained, frowning. She looked at me with sad eyes. “It also means I can’t have children, either. Or that if I try, it will be very damn difficult.”
My hand flew to my mouth and covered my gasp. “Oh no! Kit, I had no idea!”
She raised her palm and shook her head. “No one does. I had a couple relationships when I was younger, had a couple ectopic pregnancies—that’s where the baby doesn’t fully drop into the womb, and forms in the fallopian tube instead,” she said, with a sigh. “Obviously, I lost both pregnancies and gave up ever trying again.”
I gave her an empathetic look.
“It sucks, but it’s reality. There’s always adoption. But, one of my relationships didn’t understand it much; he left me eventually because he wanted a family,” Kit said, glowering. “I don’t blame him, really. Had we the money, there are things we could have tried but, I wasn’t willing to go that far.” She shrugged. “It was a deal breaker for him.”
I bit my lip. “I know Maxxus always wanted a family…”
Kit leaned forward and clutched my hand. “No, Leo…Maxxus always wanted you. Always. Even when magic messed with his memories, it still couldn’t erase his love for you. Remember that.”
I smiled slowly. “Thanks, Kit.”
She patted my hand, with a grin. “So, I know how you feel about the baby thing. It’s frustrating and I wish I told you sooner, but I don’t want to get sympathy looks, or weird comments. Though, we should talk about it more, because it happens to so many people.”
“Not to dragons. We lose pregnancies but…we’re rarely infertile.” I sighed. “And I’m not infertile, it’s just that Maxxus and I can’t have babies.”
“Well…maybe not never. Humans manage, with science. Maybe you could try a surrogate mother? If your magic inside you isn’t directly affecting it…?” she suggested.
My face brightened slightly. “Do you think it’s possible?”
She shrugged. “No idea, but until you try it, don’t give up. Magic is great, but science is great too. After all, what is magic but unexplained science, right?” She flashed me a grin. “Just, please don’t give up. You or Maxxus. We’ll find a way, you’ll have your family and after this is over, we’ll open our coffee shop and do things our way, magic be damned!”
I grinned widely at Kit. “Magic be damned.”
Kit and I had tea and chatted for a while longer, well into the afternoon. She informed me that the coffeeshop in Pineville had been sold, which made me wistful until I learned that it was sold to another private owner and not a chain. Kit found it prolific that it would now be owned by two female friends, in their sixties that were getting a second lease on life. The idea made us both happy; they even agreed to keep Madison and Emily on as employees.
Her house was also sold. She gave it as a “gift” to her sister, to use as a retreat from city life. Her yellow Volkswagen beetle was safely in storage in Castle Danger until we could get back there permanently. I was surprised how she’d done all of this in such a relatively short amount of time but with Loremaster magic, anything is possible.
The story was, of course, that when Kit disappeared, she and I had run off together; afraid that our families would judge us for our relationship. The idea made me chuckle; not at the idea of a relationship together (even though I obviously didn’t think of her that way), but that either of us would be afraid of the judging from our families.
Of course, the pleasant girl chat with my best friend couldn’t last forever; Braeden had retrieved me for the Court; the time to relax and be playful was over once again. It was time to get serious.
Chapter 33
I really didn’t want to be royal today.
I could fake the part, with my carefully-coifed updo, my new circlet Maxxus had made, my perfect makeup and posh clothing—all due to Kiarra—but I didn’t feel it. Not at all.
“You’re so brave to continue on like this,” Kiarra had whispered to me, as she helped dress me for the Court meeting, which would briefly finish planning the delegate party before continuing to heal the Shadowtouched court members.
I forced a smile at her in the mirror, as she leaned over my shoulder. I didn’t know what to say; what else was I supposed to do? Lay down and die? Curl into the fetal position and just cry, cry, cry?
I wanted to. All I wanted to do was cry. But I couldn’t. I had a kingdom to run, dragons to heal, and a heart to mend. Well…hearts.
I wanted to snap at her, but I knew she meant well. And, she was essentially family now. I couldn’t really blame her; what do you say when you learn your friend learns she’s infertile (basically)? There’s no funny internet meme for that; no greeting card.
Honestly, I wished everyone would let it drop, so I could quit with the fake smile.
When I was fully dressed, she and I headed towards the library. The Court insisted on staying out of the throne room for a time, claiming it was “bad luck”. Dragons weren’t superstitious, but it certainly did see its share of tragedy there: Athalos’ death, the Shadow battle, my attack…
…I couldn’t argue with their reasoning. I didn’t want to set foot in there until an exorcism was performed, or some sort of magic thing to erase the dark aura that stained the stone floor and walls.
The library of course was considerably smaller, but the double-wooden doors were open wide to the sitting room outside. Apparently, at one time the room also contained musical instruments, as Queen Miravalle had an affinity for music, but Athalos in later years found it foolish. So the room was converted to a sitting room, for reading books only.
I was just glad for the extra space.
Baron Gaster, who was standing guard with Baron Lorusto, announced my arrival officially, and all the delegates and current Court members started to stand as I entered.
I quickly gestured my insistence that they remain seated.
Everyone looked puzzled for a moment when my grandfather chuckled. “My granddaughter, queen or not, does not care for a lot of pomp and circumstance.”