by Greg James
But instead of staying near Hilda and awaiting her command, they immediately galloped away to the left, tossing their manes and whinnying.
‘What are they doing?’ Hilda wondered in panic. ‘Artax, Epona! To me!’ But the horses continued to gallop purposefully across the metal floor before coming to an abrupt stop, rearing up and snapping at thin air.
‘Get away from me!’ hissed Magpie’s voice.
‘They can see him!’ Murph realised joyously. ‘The horses can see him. You’re not so invisible now!’ Murph crowed, as they all turned to face the spot where Hilda’s two tiny friends had pinpointed their enemy, and prepared for a fairer fight.
Sure enough, the stooped form of Magpie slowly materialised in front of them. He had his hands clasped behind his back and a mocking smile plastered across his face.
‘Impressive,’ he told them sarcastically. ‘Most impressive. But utterly pointless, because once again your pathetic reliance on your friends is about to prove your undoing.’
Behind him, the lift doors slid open and DoomWeasel came through. But not alone. He was dragging with him the struggling figure of Flora. Her hands were lashed tightly behind her back and her face was scarlet with fury behind the gag that had been tied round her mouth. Her eyes widened as she saw Angel frozen in the red light.
‘Now,’ continued Magpie. ‘I’d like you to line up nicely, one by one, and give me your powers. Or I’m afraid the ex-Phantom over there will meet a very nasty end.’
TO BE CONTINUED …
AFTER THIS STORY ABOUT KITTENS
Interlude: Alan Rabbit and the Kitten Kollective
Once upon a time there were three fluffy little kittens, and their names were Meowzla, Yarn Boss and Fuzz-E Q. They lived beneath a large sycamore tree at the very edge of the forest and loved nothing more than chasing butterflies, lying about in the warm sunshine and hardcore gangster rap.
One summer’s afternoon, Old Mrs Pollyanna Rabbit had given her son Alan permission to go off for a bike ride all by himself.
‘Now then,’ she told him, ‘you may go down the lane, or around the copse to gather blackberries, but do not venture into Mr McDougal’s garden. Your father had an accident there.’
‘What happened to poor dear Papa?’ Alan wanted to know.
‘He fell into an enormous vat of acid,’ laughed his mama. ‘Now, fish and fettles, run along. I have packed you a picnic.’ She handed Alan a hamper chock-full of her signature dishes. Kale and hay sandwiches, roast parsnip and beetroot hummus, chocolate-dipped carrot sticks and three vegan Scotch eggs.
‘The Scotch eggs are left over from dinner the other night when Mr Pobbletoes came over. He has quite the appetite, that one,’ said Old Mrs Pollyanna Rabbit. Mr Pobbletoes, the death metal badger, was an old family friend of the Rabbits and had, like most badgers, a real penchant for Scotch eggs.
And so, Alan Rabbit set off on his adventure, and after an hour of cycling reached the very edge of the forest. He leaned his bicycle up against a very impressive-looking sycamore tree, and decided to rest his fuzzy little thighs.
As he was unpacking his delicious picnic, three fluffy kittens appeared.
‘Hello!’ said Alan Rabbit.
‘’Sup, fam?’ said one of the kittens.
‘We’re the Kitten Kollective. I’m Meowzla, this is Yarn Boss and that’s Fuzz-E Q. We’re very cute kittens but make no mistake, we don’t take no nonsense.’
‘Oh, I’m sure you don’t. Very nice to meet you. I’m Alan Rabbit,’ replied Alan.
‘Do you like music, Alan Rabbit?’ asked Yarn Boss.
‘Yes. Yes I do. I love music and I LOVE singing.’
‘Cool, us too, yeah? We absolutely love sick beats. Would you like to hear some of our stuff?’
‘Yes, please,’ replied Alan Rabbit, tucking into his kale and hay sandwich.
‘Right, guys,’ said Meowzla, ‘let’s drop a sweet verse for Alan.’
‘Take the bassline out,’ said Yarn Boss.
‘Hold on tight!’ added Fuzz-E Q.
Alan Rabbit held on to his picnic hamper, just in case this was a vital instruction.
The kittens began rapping the following rap, which you must join in with OUT LOUD, no matter how old you are:
Kitty Rap
by The Kitten Kollective
Here we are, sittin’ in the sun,
Rollin’ around, havin’ lots of fun.
Livin’ in a tree coz a tree’s rent free,
We call this home coz we’re family.
We are cute kittens but we also rap,
We are very small, don’t confuse us with dem cats.
It’s the kitty rap,
It’s the kitty rap.
Here we go, we’re going with the flow,
Welcome to the future,
the kitten rapping show.
Are we cool?
I’m sure you know the answer,
Of course we are,
we’re really bloomin’ gangster.
No need to pay us,
spend an arm or a leg,
Just give us some treats
and the occasional egg.
It’s the kitty rap,
It’s the kitty rap.
At the end of the second chorus, the Kitten Kollective stopped, folded their arms and leaned on each other in a freeze frame.
‘That was wonderful,’ said Alan Rabbit, holding the remains of the sandwich between his big teeth so his hands were free to clap.
‘Thanks, brother,’ replied Meowzla.
‘Did I hear you say that you like eggs?’ asked Alan.
‘That’s right,’ replied Yarn Boss. ‘Most people associate eggs with badgers, but kittens quite like them too.’
‘Well, today’s your lucky day!’ replied Alan, holding aloft the three vegan Scotch eggs in delight. And the four of them sat around for hours, munching and chatting and rapping.
Alan Rabbit had made some new friends.
What a lovely tale. Now, where were we? Ah yes, Magpie’s bunker. You’ll like this next chapter; it’s extremely dramatic.
24
Ice and Lightning
‘Now,’ continued Magpie. ‘I’d like you to line up nicely, one by one, and give me your powers. Or I’m afraid the ex-Phantom over there will meet a very nasty end.’
None of the Super Zeroes moved. DoomWeasel pushed Flora to the floor and placed a foot on her back as she continued to struggle against her bonds.
‘Come on,’ Magpie beckoned them. ‘This is checkmate. You are trapped. It’s time to surrender.’
‘Never,’ Murph breathed defiantly. ‘We might be trapped, but you’re alone. Outnumbered.’
‘Outnumbered. By you?’ spat Magpie. ‘Five children and an old man? Or perhaps you expect your precious Heroes’ Alliance to swoop in and save you? I assure you, they’re much too busy dealing with the chaos we caused at Shivering Sands.’
‘We confounded them!’ squeaked Mr Drench. ‘We released all the prisoners! The Alliance is thwarted!’ He began dancing around, releasing his foot from Flora as he cackled: ‘Victory! Victory! They will all feel the wrath of DoomWeasel!’
Whi le he was distracted, Flora had stopped struggling and begun edging her way closer to Carl and the Super Zeroes.
‘Quiet, you pathetic creature!’ Magpie bawled at him, finally losing his patience with Mr Drench’s bin-addled nonsense. ‘Do your job and pay attention to the prisoner.’
Mr Drench stopped capering. He went after Flora and hauled her back roughly, muttering. He looked hurt.
‘See,’ Murph said, stepping bravely towards Magpie. ‘You’re just like every other villain in history, aren’t you? You might be able to force people to help you out because they’re scared of you or want something from you, like Mr Drench. But when it comes to the crunch, you’re on your own.’
‘Why should that concern me?’ shrieked Magpie. 'I grow stronger each time I attack. More dangerous than you can imagine! I don’t need some pathet
ic collection of misfits to back me up! I stole two new powers only this week – from your precious Blue Phantom and the head of the Heroes’ Alliance! You cannot possibly hope to stop me!’
The other Super Zeroes stepped forward to join their leader, looking at Magpie without fear.
‘Murph’s right,’ said Mary. ‘You’re on your own. That’s how they defeated you at Scarsdale. You’re outnumbered. We’re a team.’
‘TEAM?’ screamed Magpie contemptuously. ‘A pathetic notion. Those who are too weak to stand alone huddle together like frightened insects. Teams are built on fear.’
‘No,’ Murph corrected him, ‘teams are built on trust. These are my friends, and I trust them.’
‘And we trust him,’ Mary chimed in, glancing sideways at Murph and waving him a reassuring eyebrow. ‘So, go on, take our Capes if you want. We’ll keep fighting you in any way we can, and in the end we’ll beat you. Together.’
This show of friendship seemed to hit a nerve. Magpie was livid. He raised his hands and purple tendrils began crackling around his clenched fists. But before he could strike, a new voice rang out from the side of the room.
‘Together.’
Magpie spun around.
The lift doors had opened for a third time, and lined up inside were Sir Jasper Rowntree and the rest of the Ex-Cape Committee. The Gemini Sisters and Lead Head were decked out in their original Hero costumes. Lead Head was spilling out of his slightly.
Sir Jasper lifted his chin in defiance and led his team into the lab.
‘Thought you were going home for a cup of tea?’ asked Carl wryly.
‘Well, I was,’ Sir Jasper said, a little shamefaced. ‘But I couldn’t shake young Murph’s words. He’s right. There’s room for all kinds of Heroes in this world. It’s a lesson I should have learned a long time ago.’
‘So we’re coming out of retirement!’ added one of the Gemini Sisters.
‘Besides,’ Lead Head’s deep voice chipped in, ‘who better to have on your side when you’re up against this chap than a group of Capeless Heroes?’ He indicated Magpie, whose anger at having allowed his old adversaries to sneak up on him seemed to have stayed his hand for now. He had been watching this exchange wordlessly, his face scarlet with rage.
Sir Jasper turned to face his enemy. ‘So, what do you say, Birdy? Ready for round two? This time we’ve got nothing to lose!’
Magpie collected himself. ‘Oh, Tech-Knight. Look how old you’ve become,’ he snarled at Sir Jasper contemptuously.
‘Not too old to give you a dry slap in the kisser,’ yelled Sir Jasper. Without warning, his wheelchair launched into the air and he plunged straight at Magpie. Lead Head and the Gemini Sisters pelted after him. While Magpie’s attention was taken by Sir Jasper menacing him from above, Lead Head managed to get in a solid blow with his walking stick that took Magpie’s legs from under him.
‘Quick,’ Murph told the Super Zeroes, ‘let’s take out Drench while he’s distracted! Hilda, summon your horses again and stay on lookout. Jasper will need them if Magpie tries to go invisible. Carl, you get Flora as soon as she’s clear. Everyone else, with me.’
Murph, Mary, Billy and Nellie led the charge over to the side of the laboratory where Flora was lying on the ground by DoomWeasel. They made to surround their ex-teacher, but were knocked back by the power of an almighty stench.
‘You will be defeated!’ DoomWeasel screamed at them.
‘What on earth is that smell?’ countered Mary, whose eyes were watering. As she peered at DoomWeasel, she could see he was glistening damply. ‘Are you … soaked in bin juice?’
‘Have you been living in the bins at Shivering Sands?’ Murph added, holding his hands to his face like a makeshift gas mask.
‘I have been in hiding, preparing for our greatest triumph,’ gibbered DoomWeasel, hopping from foot to foot and smelling.
‘Hiding … in the bins,’ clarified Murph.
‘Well … yes,’ admitted DoomWeasel. ‘But it was worth it, to claim a great reward!’
‘The only reward you need to claim is a shower,’ Mary told him bluntly. ‘And what reward do you think Magpie’s going to give you? He thinks you’re an idiot, didn’t you hear him? You’re just his sidekick.’
‘I am NOT … A SIDEKICK!’ Enraged, Mr Drench ran at them, screaming and flailing his arms around. He might have been a mad, weedy little man, but he barrelled into the Zeroes with a ferocity born of the disappointment and bitterness of decades, and that and his overpowering Eau de Bin was enough to send the four of them flying. It left Flora unguarded though, and Carl took the opportunity to rush over and ferry her out of harm’s reach.
Murph and Nellie found themselves behind the control unit for Angel’s glass cage as the Zeroes prepared a counter-attack. Project Winter, Murph read once again, glancing up at the girl in the mist before turning his attention back to the job at hand.
Away to one side, Billy leaped into action, swinging a huge fist at DoomWeasel, who was skittering this way and that like a rabid shrew as Mary channelled her inner old lady once more and drove him into Billy’s path with sharp jabs of her umbrella. Billy's fist connected and laid the little man out cold.
But further away, the battle wasn’t going so well. Magpie had gathered his wits after the surprise attack. He’d used a force field to send the Gemini Sisters shooting across the laboratory. Lead Head he sent sprawling with a flick of his wrist, which brought a huge desk crashing towards the old man, pinning him down. Now he had Sir Jasper in his sights.
Murph could only watch in horror as the control panel of Sir Jasper’s wheelchair suddenly stopped responding in mid-air. Sparking with purplish fire, the chair jerked towards to the ground as Magpie’s tele-tech took control of it. The chair zoomed away in reverse, slamming into the lift so hard that the doors buckled and metal ceiling panels rained down on Sir Jasper’s head.
Having dispatched his old enemies, Magpie turned to face his new ones in cold fury.
‘Watch it!’ warned Murph, beckoning the others to join him behind the relative shelter of Angel’s control unit. ‘Sir Jasper’s out of action. We’re next.’
Magpie was concentrating. Bolts of purple fire ran up and down his ragged coat, before a cold white mist began to flow from him, pooling at his feet.
‘Is he … growing?’ Hilda huffed nervously as she ducked down next to Murph.
‘He’s getting ready to use a Cape,’ warned Carl, moving across to join them with Flora. ‘Hang on – did he say that he’d stolen Miss Flint’s?’
‘Yeah,’ said Murph.
‘Why, is it a really scary one?’ moaned Billy.
‘You might say that.’
Something very strange was happening to Magpie’s hair. As more of the chilly mist poured from him, it changed into a gleaming block of ice. Then the rest of his body began to alter too. Pale crystals formed along his arms and legs as they expanded at an alarming rate.
‘She was able to transform,’ continued Carl, ‘into a kind of … I don’t know how best to describe it, really.’
The stooped figure of Magpie had by now been replaced with a towering, glittering beast.
‘An enormous ice monster!’ breathed Mary.
‘Yes, a kind of enormous ice monster,’ confirmed Carl. ‘That’s a good name for it.’
‘Iiiiice monsterrrrrr?’ wailed Billy.
‘WRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGG GGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!’ the ice monster interrupted, lumbering towards them.
Hilda fearlessly stepped out from behind the control panel and ran to face it with arms outstretched. ‘Billy!’ she shouted as her two horses neighed into existence. ‘Pop them!’
Billy pelted over to join her, skidding the last part on his knees, which looked cool but was actually quite painful. Heroically though, he kept quiet about it and concentrated. By the time the cantering horses reached the ice monster they had become two snorting, rearing stallions. They faced it down, battering at it with their powerful front legs.
&n
bsp; ‘BWOOOOOOOAR!’ complained the ice monster, flailing its crystalline arms at the horses to deliver a killer blow, but one of its cartwheeling arms connected with a metal control desk. The desk keeled over and broken glass splintered across the length of the lab floor as a bank of display screens shattered.
‘MAARGGGGHHHHH!’ added the ice monster, enraged even further by this destruction. It seemed that Magpie hadn’t counted on the unpredictability of his latest Cape. He’d sacrificed precision for brute force, and his laboratory was paying the price.
The ice monster pawed the ground like an angry bull – a large bull made of ice that can stand on its hind legs – and charged at the Super Zeroes. One horse managed to get in a kick to its shin, but the monster barely slowed. Billy and Hilda dived to either side as it pounded straight towards Murph and Nellie.
‘Grab on!’ yelled Mary, zooming in from above as the ice monster bore down on them, roaring and trailing white vapour.
The three friends rose into the air just as the ice monster shot beneath them like an unusually chilly train that wants to kill you. It smashed into the wall, leaving a huge dent in the metal panelling, before backing up and making a wild swipe at them.
‘It’s got my foot!’ shrieked Murph in an embarrassingly high-pitched voice. The ice monster tugged downwards sharply, and Mary’s umbrella flipped inside out as they shot towards the floor. She managed to slow their landing, but they still hit the ground hard enough.
The impact loosened the monster’s grip on Murph, and they scrambled to their feet and began backing away. Hilda and Billy rushed to their aid.
‘I don’t suppose ice monsters have as many weak points as clowns?’ said Murph out of the corner of his mouth as the Super Zeroes regrouped in the centre of the lab.
‘Not looking very hopeful, is it?’ answered Mary seriously.
‘FLAAAAAAA AAARRRRRRRR GGGGGGGHHH HHHHH!’ agreed the ice monster, crouching and slamming its fists into the ground as it prepared for another charge.