by Tessa Radley
Her relief when Georgios appeared to tell them dinner was ready was short-lived. No sooner had they made their way to the dining room and sat down at the table, where the silver cutlery glinted in the glow of half a dozen tall white candles, when Zac demanded, “Talk to me.”
“Okay,” she said in a flat little voice, and picked up her fork to toy with the seafood salad in front of her. “I’ll tell you exactly what happened. His name was Steve. He was charming, fun, good-looking—”
“I don’t want to hear that part,” Zac growled, a muscle pulsing high on his lean, tanned jaw. “I want to know who his family is, where you met this man.”
“I don’t know anything about his family,” Pandora said awkwardly, uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken.
“So how the hell did you meet him?”
She stopped picking at her food. “Sometimes my father allowed me to spend the August vacation with my best friend, Nicoletta. Her father was a very wealthy industrialist. They came from Milan, and a couple of times I stayed at their holiday home in Sardinia. A few times Nicoletta stayed with us. But High Ridge in winter isn’t as much fun as Sardinia in summer, so that didn’t happen often. She had an older brother—”
“Ah,” said Zac.
Pandora glared at him. “Alberto was only interested in soccer. There was no time in his life for anything else.”
“Then tell me about this man who—”
“I’m getting there.”
“Too slowly.”
“Zac! This is very difficult for me. Let me tell it my way, okay?”
Zac inclined his head. “I’ll be quiet.”
Pandora could see him visibly forcing himself to relax. It did nothing to calm her. She pushed her plate away and drew a steadying breath. “Nicoletta’s parents told Alberto to escort us around, to be a good host. Nicoletta loved frequenting the fashionable beaches to work on her tan and flirt with Alberto’s friends. I was horribly shy. But I went along with it because I wanted to fit in. Alberto tolerated the beach. In his view, it was better than taking us shopping. So each day Alberto would take us to play volleyball with a group of his friends—friends his parents approved of as fit company for Nicoletta—on the beach at Costa Smeralda. I started to come out my shell. It was fun.”
“I’m sure it was,” Zac growled.
“Zac, you said you’d be quiet!”
“I find it is impossible. What were your friend’s parents thinking allowing you and their daughter to be exposed to all these young men?”
“They came from wealthy families, some had minders. Even Alberto and Nicoletta had a bodyguard. He was young—Alberto wouldn’t tolerate an older guard—and just as mad about soccer and sports as Alberto. That’s why Alberto put up with him.”
“Don’t tell me the bodyguard—”
“No, no, nothing like that! Give me a chance to finish, Zac.” Pandora couldn’t hold back her impatience any longer. “That’s where I met Steve. On the beach, playing volleyball with Nicoletta, her brother and his friends. Alberto didn’t know Steve, but they discovered they had an acquaintance in common.”
“I bet they did.”
“Zac! Anyway, Steve was good at volleyball. But he was different from the other guys—he talked to me and Nicoletta. He was interested in what we had to say.”
Zac pushed his plate away. “I’m no longer hungry.”
“Me, neither,” Pandora muttered.
Zac let out his breath. The sound was loud in the silence of the darkening room. “It couldn’t have been hard to pick out a bunch of rich young kids. He must’ve had his eye on a rich wife.”
“I didn’t see it that way. He seemed so sophisticated. But, remember, I was not yet eighteen and he was twenty-five. He wore clothes with a cachet none of the guys I knew did. He drove a sporty red Alfa. He was very European, very cosmopolitan.”
“I don’t want to hear about your adolescent fantasy.” Zac sounded fit to burst, and the muscle was back in play, working high on his jaw. “I want to hear what happened.”
Pandora closed her eyes to avoid looking at him.
This was so much harder than she’d expected, reliving her stupidity, telling it all to Zac. “You have to understand…it happened precisely because he was an adolescent fantasy. I’d never dated. Goodness, I’d never been allowed to go anywhere with a boy. I didn’t even get to meet any. I had no brothers. I was at a very strict girls’ school. My father was very protective. Steve looked nothing like the kind of guy I’d been warned about. He was good-looking, obviously smart and successful and he wasn’t a threat. I could lust after him to my little beating heart’s content.”
There was silence.
Pandora opened one eye, then the other, and slid Zac a sideways glance. He was glaring ferociously, his jaw working like mad. She took a deep breath and plunged on. “He was more interested in Nicoletta. She’d always been more sophisticated, more developed physically, too. But he was nice to me, polite.”
“I’m sure he was.” Zac snorted.
“He was! He was interested in what movies I liked, the books I’d read and in hearing about the kind of girl stuff guys usually ignore. He even knew how compatible our horoscopes were. We used to joke about it—especially because he fancied Nicoletta. And he took me and Nicoletta shopping. He knew all the best shops. He would give advice while we chose shoes and bags at Prada and clothes at Versace. He was fun.” And she’d been enchanted.
“Sounds like a gigolo.” Zac glared at her, the candle flame throwing his carved cheekbones into sharp relief.
“Zac, he wasn’t. I certainly never gave him money.” But she had bought him a pair of sunglasses he’d admired. And a wallet. Nicoletta had bought him a leather jacket—in spite of his protests—and some other frivolous items that had caught her eye. Pandora had signed some of the tabs when they’d gone to lunch, the three of them—she, Steve and Nicoletta—while Nicoletta had picked up others. They’d thought it empowering. Steve had joked how he liked twenty-first-century women.
“He talked us all into going clubbing.” Pandora remembered her excitement, how it had felt to be seventeen and falling in love for the first time. This time it wasn’t a crush based on a poster of a movie star or a photo of a school friend’s brother. This time it was the real thing. Except she’d thought nothing would come of it because he’d so obviously preferred Nicoletta.
She’d been so naive.
“So he took you to a club and got you drunk.” Zac made a growling sound. “Two young girls.”
“We didn’t go alone.” She glared at him. “Let me finish. Alberto and the bodyguard came with. The first time we went, we only stayed for about an hour and we danced most of the time. But the next time we went, another friend of Alberto’s arrived, a guy Nicoletta had always fancied. Steve was heartbroken.”
“I’m sure he was,” Zac muttered. “He must have been crying in his Jack Daniel’s at the thought of the fortune slipping through his fingers.”
“You’re such a cynic. He wasn’t like that!”
“Did he know how wealthy you were?”
“I don’t think so. I was on the edge of the circle, the quiet, shy one.”
But she hadn’t been so shy that night that Nicoletta had gone off with Luigi. Then, she’d been animated—courtesy of the sweet, colourful cocktails with outrageous names she’d drunk to loosen her inhibitions. The excitement had carried her forward recklessly. When the seduction had come, she’d fallen into Steve’s bed like a ripe plum.
“Afterward…” Even the memory of her enthusiasm was mortifying. Jeez, she’d even invited Steve to High Ridge. “I wanted him to meet my father. I started talking about how soon we could get married. I mean, that’s what I thought love was about. I was so sheltered it was frightening. He couldn’t get away fast enough. I went back to New Zealand with my tail between my legs.”
“Idiot!” But Zac looked thoughtful now. “And that was the only time you slept together?”
Sh
e nodded miserably.
“Did he ever contact you again?” The intensity in Zac’s voice told her this was important. She snuck him a look across the table. His face was tense, unsmiling.
She thought of the messages her father had passed on to her when Steve had tracked her down and called her home in New Zealand a month later stating he needed to talk to her, that it had all been a misunderstanding.
Thank heavens her father had no idea what had really happened. She’d told him only that Steve was a friend of Nicoletta’s brother, Alberto. That’s when her father had told her that he’d had a trace done on Steve’s number, had him checked out and had decided he was an unsuitable companion for his only child. That he wanted her to cut the connection. Pandora had agreed with alacrity—Steve had made it painfully clear that last time she’d seen him that he didn’t feel anything like love for her. That her silly crush was not reciprocated. The last thing she’d wanted was her father to discover exactly how stupid she’d been, how she’d let him—and herself—down.
“No,” she said, stretching the truth a little, justifying it to herself. After all, Steve had never actually spoken to her.
“And you never heard from him again?”
She fiddled with the corner of the linen napkin. “What’s the point of all this? It’s not going to change the fact that I’m not a virgin.” Pandora wanted the inquisition to end. It achieved nothing except to stir up humiliating memories of the silly little goose she’d been.
“Humour me. Did you ever see him again?”
She shot Zac a quick glance. His face was set, his gaze persistent. He was not going to let it go. And she no longer wanted to talk about it.
“He’s dead,” she said very quickly, throwing the napkin down and crossing her fingers under the crumpled fabric.
Zac tensed, his body vibrating. “Are you sure about that?”
Pandora glanced away from his piercing gaze into the blinding flicker of the candle flame. “I told you,” she said tonelessly. “He had contact with Alberto through a friend. That’s how I heard.”
“I assumed his claim to know a friend was a con on the part of this Steve to gain access to Alberto’s circle of friends.”
She’d never thought of that at the time. How naive she’d been. No wonder her father worried about her.
“Okay,” Zac said slowly. “So does anyone else know what happened that night?”
“I never told Nicoletta or Alberto…I was too ashamed.” And racked with guilt because she’d coveted a man who fancied Nicoletta. “And I doubt Steve would’ve, either.”
“No, he’d have wanted to keep open the chance to cement a relationship with your friend, Nicoletta, the wealthy industrialist’s daughter,” Zac remarked a trifle drily.
“Can we let it go now?” Pandora pleaded. “It was a mistake. I was so young, so romantic and so utterly stupid.”
“The memory is painful—”
“Yes. I wish it had never happened. I moved on afterward—it was my mistake, my secret. I went to the doctor. That in itself was terrifying because I had to find a doctor that my father didn’t know.” It had involved deception and made her feel underhanded and defiled. “I confessed to the doctor that I’d had a one-night stand and that I was scared I might be pregnant. I was so naive I didn’t even know if Steve had used protection that night.”
She’d been distraught. The doctor had been sympathetic. She’d done a pregnancy test and sent away samples for tests for diseases that Pandora had never even heard of.
“I told myself that I’d been lucky. I’d made one mistake, but I hadn’t gotten pregnant, nor had I picked up any disease or infection. So I put the whole nasty experience behind me. I refused to let it wreck my life.” Pandora blinked back the tears that filmed her eyes. “Yet now that night has come back to haunt me.”
“Pandora,” Zac’s tone was urgent.
She met his gaze staunchly. Zac would not want her now. She would get her divorce and go home to High Ridge. But at what cost?
“That one night means I’m not fit to be your wife.”
“Pandora!” Zac’s hands reached across the table and closed over hers. The shadows from the candlelight played over his face, giving him a dark, mysterious edge. “There is a way. The only people who know about your…indiscretion…are you, me and the doctor who is bound to silence. The man involved is dead.”
Something, some dangerous emotion, fluttered under Pandora’s breastbone. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that we keep it a secret. The doctor’s not going to tell nor will I. No one need know that you’re not a virgin.”
“Would you do that?” Did this sacrifice mean that Zac loved her? He was going against his entire upbringing—everything he’d believed in—to keep her with him. “Would you stay married to me? Keep the truth from everyone? Even your sister?”
Zac looked torn. “What choice do I have? It’s too late to annul our marriage—it’s already been consummated. If I walk away from you, the paparazzi will tear you apart. How can I do that to you? We have no option but to make this marriage work.”
Her heart plummeted at his response. How wrong she’d been. He didn’t love her at all. But his sense of honour wouldn’t allow him to throw her to the news hounds.
How could she live with him for the rest of her life knowing her marriage was a sham?
“I don’t know…” She hesitated.
If she left and returned to High Ridge, she’d never see him again. Never see that slow, sexy smile light up his eyes. Never experience the heart-twisting kisses again. Did she really want to walk away from him forever?
No.
“What have we got to lose?” Zac ran his thumb along the base of her palm, and tingles ran up her spine. “We have a certain chemistry between us already.”
She blushed. “Marriage is about more than sex, Zac. It’s about common goals and values.” And most of all, it was about love. She’d always dreamed of marrying a man who loved her above all else.
“Sex is a damn good starting point.” His slow, sizzling smile made her heart turn over and her pulse rush into overdrive.
How could she resist him in this mood? Did it matter that he didn’t love her? Zac wasn’t a fortune hunter. And, despite what she’d said, he wasn’t cruel or barbaric. He loved his family. He was a good man, a man of principle, the kind of man she’d dreamed of marrying.
Could this simmering sexual connection between them be enough, as Zac had suggested? Should she take a chance and hope that he’d learn to love her?
“We’ll take it slowly, one day at a time,” Zac was saying. “And if you stay, let’s get to know each other a little more. I don’t expect you to share my bed right away.” But his gaze had dimmed a little as he’d added the final words.
“You’d do that?”
“This is important to me. Give it two weeks here on Kiranos. At the end of that time, we talk again. Nothing is lost. If you still want to go, you can walk away and go back to your life in New Zealand. I’m offering you your freedom.”
“You’d let me go?” Her heart sank. For some ridiculous reason, that wasn’t what she’d wanted to hear; she wanted him to fight for her, convince her.
“I won’t keep you against your will. I brought you here to talk, to ask if you would consider staying for a while so that we could get to know each other a little better. Unfortunately—”
“Unfortunately I told you I wasn’t a virgin.”
“That confession made things a little…difficult,” Zac admitted, his eyes hooded from her gaze. “I needed time to come to terms with your revelations.”
When his gaze met hers again, she thought she glimpsed something in the depths of his eyes, something vulnerable, uncertain. Then she dismissed it. Zac uncertain? Never!
“And what,” she asked, “if after two weeks I decide I want to…to leave?”
“We go our separate ways for a year or so and then file for a quiet, low-profile divorce. I’ll d
o my best to protect you from the media backlash that will follow. Being in New Zealand will help—it’s a world away.”
It sounded so simple. She could do that. Spend two weeks on Kiranos relaxing, enjoying Zac’s company.
“You’ll have no pressure of any kind. No lovemaking. Just the sun and the sea and spending some time getting to know each other all over again.” Zac echoed her thoughts. “To see if it can work.”
Except he omitted the one thing that she found herself thinking about most. His impact on her…
His touch.
His kisses.
And, above all, his lovemaking.
Disappointment curled inside Pandora. Their wedding night had been so exciting, a storm of passion. Nothing had prepared her for the wonder. The experience with Steve had not come close. Then, she’d been tipsy, filled with guilty excitement, and it had been over before it had started, leaving her feeling more than a little cheated. With Zac it had been different…
But Zac was right. A lot had passed between them. This was a chance to start over. To see what they had. All she had to do was sit it out on an island paradise and then she could walk away—if she chose to—without involving her father.
It wasn’t even as if she was at any risk. Zac had made it clear he expected nothing from her—not even sex. Nothing except to give their marriage a chance.
“Okay,” she said. “Now can I have my cell phone back?”
“Okay? Just like that?” He gave her a long look. “And why do you want your cell phone?”
She shrugged. “There’s no reception, so it won’t be much use to me. But think of it as a gesture of good faith.”
“Agreed.” A strange smile played around his mouth. He reached into his shorts pocket and drew out her small, shiny silver cell phone and held it out to her. “And now you can give me something.”
Pandora hesitated, the glint in his eyes warning her. Then she took the phone. “What do you want?”