by Brenda Novak
She slipped into the room and tiptoed to the bed, where she had to squint to make out his form in the rumpled blankets. Bending close, she watched him for several seconds, admiring his thick dark hair and the handsome contours of his face, before realizing that he was looking back at her.
She jumped and nearly screamed when their eyes met.
“Jaclyn, is it you?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I wanted to wake you, but…”
“It’s okay.” He paused. “What are you doing here?”
She shrugged. “It’s my birthday.”
“Oh.” He scrubbed his face with one hand, then rolled from his stomach to his side. “Do I want to know why you’re standing in my room wearing your nightgown, or does that fall under the heading of looking a gift horse in the mouth?”
Jaclyn didn’t really want to go into it. She didn’t want to think about Terry or real life or anything else right now. “I—I had to leave home without my clothes,” she said simply.
“Is everything all right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then, I definitely don’t have a problem with a pajama party.” A grin tugged at the corners of his lips. He came up on one elbow, and Jaclyn couldn’t help but admire the muscles that bulged in his arm or the large expanse of bare chest his movements suddenly exposed to her view. “But I admit I’m afraid to ask what you want, in case it isn’t what I’m hoping.”
The thrill of anticipation put Jaclyn’s nerves on full alert, and the song she’d been singing to herself earlier seemed to turn into a full-blown chorus, Happy birthday to me…Happy birthday to me…Happy birthday, dear Jackie…
“What are you hoping?” she asked, silently willing her heart to stop knocking against her chest.
“Are you tired?”
“Not really.”
“Are you cold?”
She nodded.
“Do you want to get in here with me?”
Jaclyn took a deep, shaky breath. Did she want to get into bed with him? That was a two-sided question, of course. There was want. And then there was reason. She should really ask him for the blanket and head back to the couch….
When she hesitated, he pulled back the covers. He wore only a pair of boxer-briefs, and she easily imagined what his warm body would feel like wrapped around her.
“Come on, Jackie. I’ll keep you warm,” he said.
“My nightgown’s wet from the rain.”
His gaze never wavered from her face. “Take it off.”
Oh boy! Jaclyn swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. This was a far cry from borrowing a blanket. But her birthday had been miserable so far. Certainly she could let her guard down long enough to enjoy some part of it. “Whatever happens, it doesn’t count, though, right?” she said, wavering.
“What does that mean?”
“It’s my birthday. I’m entitled to certain indulgences.”
“So what happens tonight is completely off the record?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I’ll buy that.”
“And you won’t ever mention it again?”
“If that’s the way you want it.”
That was the way she wanted it. She wanted to wake up in the morning and pretend nothing had happened. How else could she justify what she was about to do? “You won’t think things have changed between us? You won’t treat me differently?”
“No. Definitely not.”
His voice sounded hoarse, making Jaclyn wonder if he was to the point of saying almost anything to get what he wanted. But she was nearly at that point, too. So she closed her eyes and inched up her nightgown, then quickly pulled it over her head and slipped into the warm spot he made for her by sliding over. His arms went around her and pulled her to him, putting a quick end to her shivers, and Jaclyn thought she’d never felt anything so indescribably wonderful in her whole life.
“You feel good,” he whispered, then his mouth came down on hers and she gave herself to the moment, easily forgetting every thought that wasn’t centered completely on Cole Perrini. She loved the way he touched her, the way he smelled and tasted and moved. And deep down she knew she’d never experience anything to compare with the moment his body melded into hers.
Sometime later, with Cole’s arm holding her possessively to him while he slept, she smiled as, in the back of her mind, she heard the rest of the song: …Happy birthday to me!
COLE STRETCHED, lingering somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness. He felt good.
No, he felt great.
With Jaclyn curled beside him, he was almost too content to move. Except that he couldn’t waste the opportunity to touch her. Rolling toward her, he buried his face in her hair and breathed in her sweet scent, then kissed her neck. He was going to make love to her for the fourth—or was it the fifth?—time. Then, if they could convince themselves to get out of bed, he was going to take her to breakfast. After that he was going to buy her a birthday present. And then they were going to the drugstore for another box of condoms.
But first he was going to answer the door. Someone was banging like a madman.
Jaclyn stirred when he pulled away. “What is it?” she asked.
“It’s got to be Chad,” he told her. “He probably lost his key. Keep sleeping. I’ll take care of it and be right back.”
She murmured an assent and burrowed deeper into the covers, while he pulled on a pair of sweat pants. He lingered for a moment, watching her and promising himself he’d get rid of Chad right away, then slipped out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him.
When he reached the front office, he was especially glad he’d taken the precaution of protecting Jaclyn’s privacy, because it wasn’t Chad. Terry Wentworth stood on the porch. Behind him, in the street, Alex, Mackenzie and Alyssa were peering through the windshield of their father’s truck.
Cole waved to the kids, purposely keeping things as pleasant as possible, then leaned against the doorjamb to bar Terry from entering. “What’s up?” he asked.
“I want to talk to Jackie.”
If Terry thought Cole was going to embarrass Jaclyn by dragging her to the office door wearing something of his or her own flannel nightgown, he was crazy. “I’m afraid that’s not possible.”
“Why not? I know she’s here.” He pointed to Jaclyn’s Sable. “That’s her car, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but she’s sleeping.”
Terry’s hands curled into fists. “In your bed?” he asked, his voice grating low.
Cole studied him for a moment, running through the possibilities of where this conversation might lead. “Do you really want to know?”
“I want to see her.”
“You can leave her a message if you want.”
“A message? Who the hell do you think you are? I have her kids in the car, dammit. Now let me talk to her!”
Cole stood up straight and stepped outside, closing the door behind him. He had several inches and a few pounds on Terry, and he wanted him to know it. “The way I look at it, they’re your kids, too, Terry,” he said, keeping his voice low. “And this is your weekend. I suggest you follow the plan and head to Feld. You can talk to Jaclyn when you get back.”
Terry’s eyes narrowed. “I’m going to be busy this weekend. I don’t think I can take the kids.”
So Terry wanted to play games, did he? “No problem. Send them in. I’ve been wanting to take Alex to the stock car races. Maybe we’ll go tonight,” he said. Then he smiled benignly as he watched Terry sift through his options. If he took the kids, Jaclyn and Cole would be alone. If he didn’t take the kids, Cole would have his ex-wife and his children for the weekend.
Apparently Terry decided to cut his losses.
“No, I’ll manage.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“Whatever you’ve got going with Jaclyn, it won’t last,” Terry told him. “Maybe I’ve been stupid and chased her right into your arms, but she’ll come back to me eventually. You’ll
see.”
“Maybe,” Cole said. “But until then, you need to understand something. She’s not alone anymore. You mess with her, you’re going to be messing with me.”
Stiff with rage, his hands still bunched into fists, Terry glared at him, but Cole was no longer worried that he’d start throwing punches. Terry liked better odds. If he was going to fight, he would have done it last weekend when he had friends to help him.
“Is that some sort of threat?” Terry asked.
“Take it how you want to,” Cole told him. “I’ve never liked a bully.”
Alex honked the horn, and Terry threw an irritated glance over his shoulder. “This isn’t over yet,” he promised.
“Your kids are waiting,” Cole said, but it wasn’t until a few seconds later, when Chad pulled up, that Terry finally stalked away.
JACLYN WOKE UP SCARED. She was lying in Cole’s bed alone, completely naked, with only a nightgown to wear home. And she knew she’d made a big mistake, one that would cost her dearly. What had she been thinking when she’d slipped into Cole’s room? That she could handle him better than all the other women he’d known? That she could somehow escape the heartbreak loving a man like him would bring? She’d asked him for promises in the night—that what they were doing wouldn’t change anything, that morning would come and everything would be just the same as it always was—and he’d given them. But already things were different. She was different. How could she be the same after making love to a man who could mean the whole world to her if she let him?
What am I going to do?
She listened to the hum of two male voices as Cole spoke with someone outside. She couldn’t hear what was being said, but she could easily picture Cole—the way he talked, the way he stood.
What a fool I am. She’d told him she believed in no kind of togetherness short of marriage and then she’d turned around and done this! Worse, she’d allowed herself to fall in love with the wrong man—again. A man who didn’t want marriage or kids. And even if she managed to change his mind, she knew his history.
She must have been completely mad.
But that didn’t mean she had to let the situation get the best of her, did it? She’d gone through too much in the past year to tumble into the same pit she’d just climbed out of.
Scrambling from the bed, Jaclyn pulled on the flannel nightgown she’d tossed on the floor the night before and tiptoed to the bedroom door. She couldn’t tell who was with Cole, but she knew they were outside, probably in the front yard. Should she simply sneak out the back, wait until the coast was clear and drive away? She could show up for work on Monday as usual, pretend last night hadn’t happened. And why not? Cole had promised her that nothing would change. She’d just have to hold him to it.
Only, sneaking away seemed so cowardly. Wouldn’t it be better to face him? Apologize for her mistake and move on?
Of course. They were adults. They could handle this maturely.
The front door opened and closed, and Jaclyn heard Cole’s footsteps in the hall. Throwing her shoulders back, she told herself she could fix things, get back on track. She had to.
“Hey, you’re up,” he said, smiling as soon as he saw her. He was barefoot and bare-chested, his hair was standing up in places, he had a day’s growth of beard on his jaw—and he looked incredibly sexy.
“Chad stopped by, but I got rid of him. You hungry?”
Something about the look on Jaclyn’s face must have given her away, because his smile faltered. “Is something wrong?” he asked.
She cleared her throat. “No, not really. Um, I’ve got to get going. I’ve got a lot to do today.”
He’d been walking toward her as though planning to put his arms around her or kiss her good-morning or something, but at her words, he froze several steps away. “You’re leaving? Already?”
Jaclyn licked her lips. “Yeah, you know, it’s Saturday.”
“That’s why I thought you might be able to stay. The kids are in Feld with Terry. I wanted to take you out to breakfast.”
“Not today.”
Doubt entered his eyes, and his smile disappeared completely. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” She tried a smile of her own and prayed it looked more convincing than it felt. “It’s just that it’s time to get back to reality, don’t you think?”
“Get back to reality? What happened last night wasn’t real?”
“It was real,” Jaclyn said, plucking nervously at her nightgown. “But you promised me it wouldn’t change anything.”
“I never dreamed you were serious about that. How could it not change anything?”
“We just decide to agree that we made a mistake and move on.”
“A mistake, Jaclyn? You think last night was a mistake?”
She nodded resolutely. “I know it was.”
He rubbed his bare chest and looked around as though he was so surprised he didn’t know how to respond. “I’m afraid I can’t agree with that. I thought it was the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced,” he said softly.
Something clamped down on her insides and wouldn’t let go, but she refused to acknowledge the hurt. It was better to bear up under the pain and do what had to be done to get over it, than to let any hopeful feelings linger. “I’m sorry. I really am.”
“So what am I supposed to do now?” he asked. “Pretend I’ve never made love to you? That I don’t want to do it again, right here, right now?”
“I didn’t mislead you, Cole. I told you last night—”
“I’m not accusing you of anything. I just expected…I don’t know. Something more.”
“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” she said. “Maybe it would be better if I just go.”
“Wait.” He reached out and caught her arm as she tried to slip past him. “Is this about your job? Are you afraid I’ll fire you if things go wrong between us on a personal level?”
“Partly,” she admitted. “I can’t risk losing my job, Cole. It’s all I have right now.”
“But I’d never leave you high and dry. You know that, don’t you?”
Wouldn’t he? Could she trust that? Jaclyn remembered the promise she’d made to herself the night she found Terry’s truck outside Maxine’s—I will never let myself become so dependent on another human being again—and knew better than to believe him. She had to keep her promise to herself. That was the only safe way to go.
“I appreciate what you’ve done for me, Cole,” she said. “I hope you know that. You’re a generous man. But I won’t need you to cover for me much longer. I’ve started my real-estate classes and will have my license in a month or two. Then no one will be able to leave me high and dry, because I’ll be just fine on my own.” She gently extricated her arm from his grasp. “I’ll see you on Monday.”
COLE RAN A HAND through his hair and sank down on the bed. What the hell had just happened? Last night he’d made love to Jackie Wentworth, several times, and relished every passion-filled moment. He’d awakened happy, content, eager to spend more time with her.
And she’d just told him she didn’t want anything to do with him.
Had he done something wrong? Had she heard what he said to Terry and grown angry over it? She hadn’t mentioned her ex-husband. She hadn’t even indicated she knew he’d stopped by. But Cole couldn’t figure out what else could have changed in the ten minutes he was gone from the room.
Trust. She obviously had a problem with trust, and after what had happened with Terry, Cole could understand why. He was tempted to try to convince her he was different, that he’d never hurt her the way Terry had, but his own track record wasn’t anything to be proud of. What could he really offer her? She had three children, and he didn’t want to marry.
“She’s right. I’m no good for her,” he told himself aloud. Laura had needed more than he could give, and he’d let her go gracefully. He could do the same for Jaclyn, he decided. But when he stood to dress and saw the bed, all the memories of the night
before came tumbling back, along with the overwhelming sense of connection he’d felt with Jaclyn—and he knew this time was going to be much harder.
IT WAS ONLY SATURDAY night, less than twelve hours since he’d held Jaclyn in his arms, but it felt to Cole like an eternity. He’d already stopped himself from calling her a dozen times or more, and the battle wasn’t over yet. It was only six o’clock. He had the rest of the evening to go, the night that would follow, and tomorrow and the day after….
What was he going to do? He’d never been so consumed with a woman before. He’d tried to occupy his mind with work, tried to take care of some of the things that needed to be done on Rick’s desk, but his heart hadn’t been in it. He’d been more concerned with the fact that Jaclyn was probably sitting in her house, as alone as he was. The kids were still in Feld. There was nothing to stop them from seeing each other again. So why was he helping her turn him away? He couldn’t remember anymore. He kept telling himself that it was better for her, but he could no longer say why.
Picking up the telephone, he dialed her number. Then he rocked back in his leather chair and stared unseeingly at the painting on the wall opposite him, waiting for her to answer.
Her voice came across the line following the third ring. Just the sound of it caused Cole’s breath to catch. “Jaclyn?”
She paused. “Hi, Cole.”
“What’re you doing?”
“I’ve been studying my Real Estate Principles book.”
“How far along are you?”
“I’ve finished my first two open-book tests and mailed them off. I just have three more to go. Then I’m finished with the course and can schedule my state test.”
“I have some sample questions you can study beforehand. They’ll help you more than the course will.”
“Great. I’ll have to remember to bring them home with me.”
I could bring them over right now, if you want, he thought, and nearly said so, but he wanted to get some idea of how she was feeling toward him first. Last night had definitely spooked her. He was hoping now that she’d had some time to think things over, she’d be more open to continuing their relationship.