by Brenda Novak
Yet he’d just knocked on Rick’s door with tears in his eyes and said, “I love you.”
Rick rubbed the whiskers on his jaw and shook his head. His first instinct was to go after Cole, but he knew, for the moment, his brother would rather be alone. Rick didn’t know what he’d say if he caught up with him, anyway. The problems between them weren’t going to disappear overnight, but Rick knew he loved his brother back. There was no doubt about that. He’d always loved him, had admired Cole like no one else. Maybe that was enough to make things right. Maybe if they agreed to clear away all the resentment from the past and build on that foundation…
It was certainly worth a shot. Rick wanted to feel like part of the family again. And missed Perrini Homes. He’d actually been thinking, now that he had his classes rolling along, that he’d like to go back to work part time. School was a challenge, but he’d talked Abby, the girl from his English class, into studying with him, and she was helping him a great deal. He was gaining confidence, starting to believe he could handle it—just as long as he could handle her. Abby was a feisty number who made no secret of the fact that she planned to wear his ring someday. But he’d managed to keep things from getting too serious. The two of them were spending a lot of time together, but they were still wearing the label “friends.”
Finally closing the door, he went to the phone in his kitchen and dialed the office at Perrini Homes. He knew Cole wouldn’t be there yet, but he wanted to leave a message on his answering machine.
“You’ve reached Oak Ranch, another fine development by Perrini Homes,” a woman’s voice said. Was it Jaclyn? No. Had to be the new real-estate agent. What was her name? Margaret? The fact that Rick didn’t know her brought back that poignant feeling that he was missing out on something important.
“We’re located near the beautiful Washoe County Golf Course….”
Impatiently tapping his finger against the table, Rick waited through the address and office hours for the beep. When it sounded, he said, “Cole, this is Rick. I hear the Forty-niners are playing the Vikings this weekend. Any chance you’d like to come over and watch the game?”
DINNER HAD BEEN GREAT. Perfect, in fact. The whole evening had been ideal. Jaclyn couldn’t remember a time when she’d enjoyed herself more. But after spending another four hours in Cole’s company, she found herself more hesitant than ever before to trust him. Ironically enough, it was because he was doing everything right.
True to his word, he was taking things slow. He hadn’t touched her all night, hadn’t kissed her when he left at the surprisingly early hour of ten o’clock. He’d simply talked and laughed and let everyone enjoy his presence. He’d brought the makings for ice cream sundaes. He’d helped with dinner. He’d pulled out a new Nintendo game he’d bought for the kids, then played it with them for more than an hour.
By the time he left, Alex was asking when he’d be coming over again. Mackenzie was begging him to stay longer. And Alyssa, poor little Alyssa, who missed the physical contact she’d once had with her father, was demanding hug after hug goodbye. Cole was capturing her children’s hearts as effortlessly as he’d won her own, and it was making Jaclyn nervous. They didn’t understand what was at risk here. It was up to her to protect them.
But if she shut Cole out of their lives, she might be denying herself and her children something wonderful.
Good or bad? How did she decide?
With a groan, Jaclyn rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling above her bed. Had Cole changed since his days with Rochelle? And if so, had he changed enough?
I ran into Rochelle a few years back…She said you cheated on her…Is it true?
And then Cole’s response: Yes.
Jaclyn rubbed her eyes. If he’s done it once, he could certainly do it again.
He won’t, regardless of what came before. He said he’ll never cheat on me.
Kicking off the covers, she sat up and stared at the phone. She needed to talk to Cole, and she needed to do it tonight. Her real-estate test was only one day away. She had to make a decision about him so she could concentrate on something else.
The glowing digits on her alarm clock said it wasn’t quite eleven. Hoping he’d still be up, and thinking it likely considering he’d left only forty-five minutes earlier, she called him.
Cole answered on the second ring. “Hello?”
“Cole?”
“Jaclyn. I thought you were going to bed early so you’d be all set to study tomorrow.”
“I’m in bed. I just can’t sleep,” she admitted.
“Is something wrong?”
Jaclyn had fully planned to ask Cole about his marriage to Rochelle and what had happened with the other women during that time. She needed to know, to make an informed decision. Was it an isolated incidence? A long-term affair with one woman? Brief affairs with many women? It made a difference. But at the sound of Cole’s voice, the desire to see him hit Jaclyn so strong that she couldn’t frame a single one of those difficult questions. She could only marvel at the fact that he’d been gone less than an hour and already she felt willing to walk across a bed of nails to be with him again, if need be.
“I—I just wanted to thank you for treating the kids so nicely tonight,” she said, stalling in the hope she’d be able to summon the nerve before they hung up.
“You have great kids. It’s easy to treat them nicely.”
“That was an expensive Nintendo game you bought. I feel I should pay you for it.”
“Why? I wanted to buy it. I thought Alex might like it.”
“He does.”
There was a short silence. “Dinner was good,” he said.
“Thanks.”
“Do you need me to quiz you on your real-estate facts tomorrow? I’m watching the game with Rick, but I could come by afterward.”
Jaclyn sat up taller. “You and Rick are talking again?”
“Yeah.”
“How did that happen?”
“Last night you said something that wised me up. I went over to his place after I left your house and tried to clear the air.”
“Wow, what did I say that had such an impact?”
“You said love can compensate for a lot. That sort of simplified things for me.”
Love could compensate for a lot. Love and forgiveness. Was there a message in that for her, too? “I’m glad. So you and Rick have decided to put your differences behind you?”
“Old habits and grudges die hard, but we talked on the phone for nearly an hour this morning. We’re going to work on it.”
“Is he coming back to Perrini Homes?”
“He’s thinking about it. Maybe part-time. He hasn’t decided for sure.”
“That would be great. Would you still keep the new guy, Brandon?
“Yeah. We’re growing fast. I think I can keep them both busy. So how ’bout it, Jackie?”
“How ’bout what?” she echoed.
“You want me to come over tomorrow?”
Jaclyn wanted him to come over now. She wanted to lose herself in his arms and let love do the rest. Somehow the future and the dangers that loving Cole entailed seemed so much farther away in the dark, with the children fast asleep in their beds. But she and Cole had agreed to take things slowly, and she knew that was by far the wiser course. Besides, she didn’t want the children to wake in the middle of the night and find him in her bed.
“Cole?” she asked, without answering his question.
“Yeah?”
“Did you love the other woman?”
“What other woman?”
“The one you stepped out with?”
Silence, then, “I thought you were going to try and trust me.”
“I am trying. But I have to know your side of things. I’m hoping the truth isn’t as bad as what I’ve been imagining.”
Jaclyn heard him sigh softly. “Haven’t you ever done something you regret the moment it’s done, Jackie? Something you’ve promised yourself you’ll never repeat?�
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“Yes,” she said, grabbing onto the sincerity in his voice and letting it ring through her. “Everybody makes those kind of mistakes now and then. Is that what it was, Cole? Is that all it was?”
“Yes. A one-time thing. A mistake. And, no, I didn’t love her. I got into the situation in the first place because I didn’t love Rochelle, either.”
Jaclyn felt a twinge of pity for Cole. He’d married Rochelle because of the baby. He’d done what he considered to be right even though he didn’t love her. Surely that spoke volumes about the kind of man he was, didn’t it? Didn’t that say as much for him as a brief affair said against him?
“Have you ever been in love?” she asked.
This time he paused so long that Jaclyn was beginning to fear he’d hung up. “Only once,” he said at last.
“With Laura?”
“No. With a girl I met in my high school English class.”
Warmth filled Jaclyn, starting from somewhere deep inside and radiating outward all the way to her fingers and toes. She let the grin that warmth brought with it break across her face. “The one you saw on your first day? The one who looked up and smiled at you?”
“That’s the one.”
“Do you think you could ever love her again?”
“I don’t think I ever stopped.”
“YOU’RE A HELL OF A ONE for a party today, Cole. Are you thinking about work or something?” Rick asked, muting the sound while he flipped through the channels on his television during a commercial break in the football game.
“Cole’s always thinking about work, ain’t that right, Cole?” Chad said from where he lay stretched out on the couch. So far it had been a leisurely Sunday, cool but clear outside. Cole, Chad and Rick were all lounging around Rick’s living room, full of pizza and nachos and beer. The stereo played an old rock station softly in the background, and the whole place smelled like pepperoni and onions, the two most abundant toppings on their pizza.
But Cole hadn’t been thinking about work. Not today. Or yesterday, for that matter. Or the day before. Ever since Jaclyn reappeared in his life, he’d had trouble thinking about anything but her, and considered it no small miracle that his business was doing as well as it was, given his sudden lack of interest.
“Actually I was thinking about kids,” he said, because it was true. He hadn’t been able to get the subject off his mind. Ever since the night before, when he’d had dinner with Alex, Mackenzie and Alyssa and enjoyed them almost as much as he had Jaclyn, he’d been imagining what it would be like to have a baby of his own—with Jackie. Raising four small children seemed as terrifying and overwhelming as it always had. But there was something about the thought of a baby that stirred an inexplicable excitement in him.
“Kids?” Rick nearly choked on the peanuts he’d tossed into his mouth and jumped out of his easy chair to save himself. Most of the rooms in his house were bare, but here he had what mattered most—a big-screen television, a great sound system, two easy chairs, a soft leather couch and a coffee table for snacks and drinks and old copies of Sports Illustrated. “Whose kids? Certainly not your own?”
Cole shrugged, suddenly feeling irritable, defensive. “Why not?”
“Because you don’t plan on getting married. Isn’t that a little bit of a problem?”
Cole was starting to believe marriage in general wasn’t such a distasteful thing—not if it meant he could be with Jaclyn for the rest of his life—but he didn’t want to say so out loud. He knew what his brothers’ reaction would be and wasn’t ready to take the ribbing. “I wasn’t thinking about right away. I was just thinking about…someday,” he said.
Chad arched his eyebrows at Rick. “It’s Jaclyn. She’s the one who’s putting these crazy thoughts into his head.”
“See what happens when I leave for a few months?” Rick said, finally sitting back and making himself comfortable in his easy chair. “Cole starts doing the unthinkable—he considers relinquishing his freedom.”
“Don’t you want kids?” Cole asked, wishing he’d never brought up the subject in the first place. It was one thing to think about marriage; it was another to hear his brothers talk about him like he was standing in line with his head bowed, ready to be put on a leash.
“Someday. But I gotta meet the right woman first,” Rick said. He was staring at the screen, watching the Forty-niners punt the ball. “And I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon.”
“You’ve got to be doing something with your days and nights,” Chad responded. “What’s the matter? Are you afraid to let whoever you’re seeing meet one of us? You think she’ll throw you over?”
Rick scowled. “The day I lose a girl to one of you ugly bastards is the day I enter the priesthood.”
Cole and Chad both laughed. “Come on. Tell us who she is,” Cole said.
“The only girl I see with any regularity is barely twenty,” Rick told them.
The Forty-niners nearly fumbled. Cole reclaimed his beer from the coffee table and pretended to watch them recover the ball while trying to read his brother’s face.
“Eight years isn’t that big a difference,” Chad said above the voice of the announcer.
“It’s nearly thirty percent of my life,” Rick replied. “Wow! Look at that run!”
They all leaned forward to watch the running back get tackled near the fifty-yard line.
“She still lives at home, for Pete’s sake,” Rick continued. “I bet she’s still a virgin.”
“At twenty?” Chad grabbed a fistful of peanuts. “What, does she weigh five hundred pounds?”
“No. She’s…” Rick whistled low, under his breath. “She’s gorgeous. And she’s a real fireball.” He turned and smiled wistfully, then shrugged. “She’s just too young.”
“At this rate, Andrew and Brian will marry before you two do,” Cole said, then took a drink of his beer.
Rick and Chad both looked at him in surprise.
“Before us?” Rick threw a peanut at Chad. “I think he’s making an announcement. What do you think?”
Chad nodded. “That sounded pretty serious to me.”
Cole hadn’t meant to assume he’d marry soon and they wouldn’t. It had just come out that way. Feeling himself flush, he opened his mouth to deny having any immediate plans, but was saved by the ringing of his cell phone. Waving their attention back to the game, he said a grateful hello and was surprised to hear a child’s voice.
“Is this Cole?”
“Yes.”
“This is Alex.”
Alex? Why was Jaclyn’s son calling him? “Hi, buddy. What’s up?”
“Nothing. I found your number on the bulletin board in the kitchen.”
Before they’d hung up last night, Jaclyn had told Cole she’d better not see him today. She wanted to devote herself wholly to her studies. But hearing Alex’s voice made him hope she’d changed her mind. “What are you guys doing?”
“Nothing. My mom’s studying. She’s been studying all day. She has a big test tomorrow.”
“Yeah. It’s pretty important. She’ll get her license if she passes.”
“That’s what she said.”
“Is something wrong?”
“No, I’m just bored. There’s nothing to do around here.”
“What are the girls doing?”
“Playing Barbies.”
Cole couldn’t help but chuckle at the disdain in Alex’s voice. “Would you like to come over and watch the football game with me and my brothers?”
“Yeah!”
“Do you think your mom will let you?”
“I’ll ask her.”
The phone thunked, then Alex called to Jackie in the distance. After a moment, Jaclyn picked up an extension.
“Cole?”
“Hi.”
“I’m sorry Alex bothered you. I didn’t know he had your number.” She sounded slightly embarrassed.
“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Cole assured her. “He s
aid he’d like to come watch the game with me. Is that okay with you?”
“You wouldn’t mind?”
“I invited him. Why don’t I take the girls, too? That way you can study without interruption.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she said, obviously surprised at the offer.
“I want to. Maybe once you get licensed, you’ll bring a few of your buyers by Oak Ranch.” Or maybe you’ll be living there yourself—with me. “I’ll be over in a few minutes to pick them up.”
“Cole?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” he said, but he wasn’t quite so sure after he hung up and had to face his brothers, who were giving him their best you’re-so-full-of-bullshit look.
“I’m just helping her out,” he said innocently.
“You’re going to baby-sit her kids?” Rick asked.
“I thought they could play here, while we watch the game. That’s not a big deal, is it? If you’d rather not, I can always take them to my house.”
“It’s not the house I’m worried about—it’s the future.” Rick looked at Chad. “How many kids does she have? Three?”
“Yeah,” Chad responded.
“God, our days of peace are over.” Rick shook his head. “We’d better get fitted for tuxes.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
MONDAY WAS BITING COLD and completely gray, but Jaclyn was smiling when she arrived home after taking her real-estate test. The test had been long, nearly thirty pages containing 350 multiple-choice questions, but she’d done well. She could tell. She’d known most of the answers right away, thanks to Cole’s sample tests and her hours of study.
Wanting to dance and twirl in the yard when she thought about having it behind her, she fit her key into the lock on the front door and was just about to let herself in, when Mr. Alder called to her from over the fence.
“Jaclyn? Alex is riding his bike on my lawn again,” he said.
Jaclyn stifled a groan at letting the man catch her outside, and forced a smile. “I’m sorry, Mr. Alder. I’ll have another talk with him.”