The corner of her mouth twists up into a slight smile. “Yeah. You do… My dad ran a great line in protection rackets, OK? Threatened anyone who wronged his clients with the kind of shit he’s not averse to doling out to his only daughter.” She pops a forkful of salad into her mouth, her gaze never shifting from mine. “He protects people. Amongst other things.”
The irony drips from her voice, and she drops her gaze again, once more picking at the food on her plate. And I watch her, for a couple of beats, willing her to look at me again.
“I was in love. Once.”
She finally raises her head, her eyes once more meeting mine. “Just once?”
“Yeah. Just once.”
“Who was she?”
I don’t really want to talk about this, it’s reopening old wounds I vowed I would never pick at again, but it’s like the words are falling out of me before I can stop them. Like I have no control.
“We’d known each other since middle school. Hung out with the same crowd, lived a couple of blocks away from each other… it just happened, y’know? We fell in love.”
She says nothing for a second, but I can tell she’s trying to read me, and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this, this wasn’t how I’d envisaged this night was gonna turn out. I thought we’d be fucking by now, not sharing heart-to-hearts over dinner. How the hell did that happen?
“Were you together long?”
Her eyes are still fixed on mine, but I drop my gaze, focusing on the food on my plate because I can’t look at her. Not when I’m doing this. “We had everything, at least, I thought we had. We were settling down, finding our feet in the world and I… I was gonna ask her to marry me. We had good jobs, a nice house, we’d even talked about kids, our lives, they were going somewhere…” I finally look back up at Piper. “She broke my fucking heart. Ripped that fucker from my chest and tore it apart, she killed me.”
She says nothing for a second or two, but her expression doesn’t waver. My change of tone, the harshness in my voice, it doesn’t rattle her in any way.
“What did she do?”
“She’d been sleeping with her boss. For months, apparently, by the time I found out. She told me it had only happened once, at a staff party; that drink had been to blame, but she’d been lying. He’d offered her a promotion in return for sex…” I can’t help the laugh that escapes me, it’s almost a defense mechanism I’ve enabled to stop this from hurting me all over again. “She got her promotion. He got way more than he should’ve done.”
Again, Piper leaves a few beats before she speaks, almost as if she’s weighing up just what she should ask next. “Did he… did he blackmail her or…?”
“No. No, he didn’t blackmail her. She just decided that once wasn’t enough. She went there, and she liked it. Before him there’d only been me, the only man she’d ever slept with, and I guess she wanted to try something new. And he wasn’t gonna turn down anything when it’s handed to him on a fucking plate.”
She drops her gaze for the briefest of seconds, laying her fork down on her half-empty plate, crossing her arms on the counter in front of her as she looks back up at me. “It must’ve been hard, when you found out.”
Hard doesn’t even describe what I felt the night I found out what she’d done to me. The night I saw no remorse in the eyes of a woman I would’ve taken a bullet for. She took it all, that night, when she stood there and told me she was leaving our life, just like that. One sentence, that’s all she gave me. One fucking sentence, and she was gone. And that bitch, she took my battered heart with her, when she walked out that door. She took the person I used to be, and she made sure he was never coming back.
“Logan?”
Piper’s voice drags me back from memories I’d swore wouldn’t get to me again, yet, here I am, reliving every last, painful second.
“That was the day I changed. Loving someone as much as I loved her… to have that love thrown back in your face the way she…” I drop my head and drag my hands back over my hair, sighing quietly. “I promised myself I’d never go there again. Never love someone, never open my heart, never…” I realize all this shit I’m spouting, she doesn’t need to hear this. And I don’t need to be saying it, what the hell am I? I’m not that weak, pathetic asshole anymore, I’m different, now.
I slide down from the stool and head outside, breathing in large gulps of fresh air. Those memories, they’d stifled me way more than I’d expected, out here I feel like I can breathe again.
“What happened, Logan? After she left?”
I turn around. She’s leaning against the doorpost, arms crossed against her chest, the light evening breeze gently blowing the hem of her short summer dress up around her thighs. Thighs I still want to lie between, I still need this woman, as an escape. And I think she needs me for exactly that reason, too.
“I joined up. Went and fought for my country, channeled my anger and frustration in a direction that could actually do some good. Because if I’d stayed there I would’ve hurt some fucker, I swear, Piper, I would’ve…” I turn my head away from her and take another deep breath, I need to calm down. I need to leave this shit alone, I need to stop thinking about my fucking past before it drags me the hell back down.
I feel her touch my face, gently guide my head back around to look at her and this is crazy, it’s so fucked up. What the hell’s going on here?
“I’m sorry, Logan. That she did that to you.”
She keeps her hand pressed against my cheek, and I cover it with mine, our fingers sliding together. “I saw some real bad shit out there, Piper. I saw men die in ways so horrific… I saw things that changed me, and I needed to see all that, to put my own pain into some kind of perspective; to become this man I am now, to become colder and harder and…”
“You aren’t cold. And you aren’t hard, you’re just damaged. And we’re all damaged, Logan. In some way.”
I grip her fingers tighter as her eyes bore into mine. “I need to be cold, Piper. I need to distance myself from all the crap that can hurt me…”
“And you don’t think I need that, too? We all need to distance ourselves from something, but you’re talking about never loving someone again, Logan. I’m talking about forgetting what my father’s bastard lieutenant did to me, of course I want to forget that, I need to forget that. But distancing yourself from loving someone again? Why would you want to do that?”
I let go of her hand and step back slightly, digging my hands into my pockets. “We don’t live in a world full of hearts and flowers and dancing fucking unicorns, Piper. This world, this life I chose to come back to, it’s tough and it’s real and I need that, OK?”
“You chose the Death Knights because you couldn’t face falling in love again?”
She’s making everything sound so fucking simplistic, and it’s irritating. “I chose this club because they take men like me and they turn them into people who don’t get hurt.”
“You really think that, huh?”
“You know nothing, Piper. You know fuck all about this world and what it takes to survive…”
“I know more than you think, Logan. I know men like you become a part of this shit so you can hide from all the crap you just can’t face. You think you’re tough, but men like you, you’re weak…”
I’ve got hold of her wrist, shoved her back against the wall before she can finish the sentence, and I silence her with a kiss that she responds to in a heartbeat. In seconds she’s got her legs wrapped around me, and I’m pounding into her, each and every thrust harder and more brutal but she’s taking it, she isn’t fighting me. I’m taking it all out on her, but she knows that, she invited it, and she’s clawing at my back, her fingers scraping my skin so she’s taking her shit out on me, too. And when we come we come together, a rushed almost violent explosion that sweeps across our bodies, telling us one thing we both already knew before I took her again – we’ve crossed a line we can’t ever come back from. We’ve crosse
d a line. And I don’t fucking care…
Vanni
“She all right?”
I throw my cut down on the couch and head straight to the fridge, reaching for a cold beer.
“She’s asleep.”
I look over at Logan, propped up against the wall, a weary look on his face. Why the fuck’s he tired? All he’s been doing all night is sitting on his ass keeping check on my wife.
“Everything OK?”
He drops his gaze and drags a hand back over his head. “Everything’s fine.”
“Good.” I take a long draft of beer and wait until he raises his gaze; until his eyes meet mine. “We finished the job, by the way. We made sure those Devil Hounds got the message.”
“Anyone get hurt?”
“Not on our side. Bullet took a graze to the shoulder but Della’s seeing to that. He’s taken worse, usually from her.”
His mouth twists up into a knowing smirk, hell, we all know what Bullet’s old lady’s capable of. She’d scare the shit outta anyone, given half the chance.
“Anyway, they’re not gonna give us any more trouble. They know what’ll happen if they try any more shit. They can stay, they can have their club, I’m not gonna take that from them. They just gotta learn where the boundaries lie, is all. I’m giving them a second chance, but they fuck with me one more time… They know.”
“Sorry I missed all the fun.”
“I needed you here.”
“Yeah. I guess… Does that mean you’ll be heading back to Nevada?”
“You trying to get rid of me?” I take another draft of beer, watching his expression, but it doesn’t change.
“I just figured you’d have business to sort out back home, that’s all.”
“I’m sending my men back to Nevada, to make sure things stay running smoothly there. I’m putting Chase in charge for a while. Thought I’d stay in California for a few more days, make sure everything remains nice and calm here. I don’t want to get back home only to find out those fuckers ignored every lesson I just taught ‘em.”
“Can I go now?”
“You in a hurry, son?”
“You’re back now, Vanni, you don’t need me anymore tonight, right?”
“Got something you need to get back to?”
“I got plenty of shit I could’ve been doing while I was here.”
I finish the last of my beer and throw the bottle into the trash, my eyes following him as he heads for the door.
“Logan?”
He turns around and looks at me, but he’s smart enough not to show how pissed he is at not being able to make his escape just yet, even though I can tell that’s exactly how he’s feeling right now.
“It’s time. To let everyone else know, about Piper. About what happens next.”
He drops his head for a beat or two before raising it, his eyes back on mine. “You really want to do that?”
“He wants her dead, Logan. That fucked up bastard wants my wife dead, and I’m not happy about that. So he needs to have a message sent, too. You understand me?”
“You got any plans yet on how we’re gonna send that message, exactly?”
“I never go into anything with my eyes shut, son.”
“I’m assuming you got those eyes on Frankie Cabbetto, huh?”
“I got people watching him, yeah. And when I get word that we need to start fighting, we fight. And we win. ‘Cause we can’t lose that fight, Logan. I can’t lose Piper.”
“We’ve all got your back on this one, Vanni. You’ll have this chapter’s full support, you know that.”
“Yeah. I know that. Go on, get outta here. And Logan? Thanks. For making sure Piper’s OK.”
He throws me a slight smile before he leaves, closing the door behind him.
I lean back against the wall and close my eyes, taking a deep breath, it feels like the first real breath I’ve taken properly since I got back home. And I’m done, I’m fucking exhausted, I just need to sleep now. ‘Cause I don’t know how long we got ‘til our next fight begins.
Ten
Piper
I feel like he can smell it on me; the betrayal. The guilt. The disrespect, because what Vanni’s doing for me… In the cold light of day do I regret what we did? Do I wish Logan hadn’t touched me, hadn’t made me act on something I should’ve left well alone? Yes. I wish he hadn’t touched me, but he did. And I want to regret it, I do, but I don’t. I don’t.
“You going to the clubhouse today?”
Vanni looks up from his paper and throws me a smile, and there it is. A flicker of guilt…no. That wasn’t guilt, it’s fear.
“In a while. Thought you might want to come with me, get outta this place for a while.”
“Is that OK? I mean, is it…?”
“You’ll be fine, Piper. Right now I feel safer having you with me than leaving you here, even with Logan watching over you.”
“Why? Have you heard something?”
I can’t stop a surge of panic rising up within me, my heart’s racing.
“Come here. Come on.”
He puts the paper down and pulls me astride him, kissing me gently, he does that, sometimes; kisses me gently and belies everything I first thought he was. He’s proving himself to be a very different man to the one I first met, a better man. A kinder man, when he’s with me, and yet, that’s pushing me toward Logan. And that confuses me so much, I don’t understand why I’m doing this shit, it’s crazy and dangerous and I feel like I’m hurtling toward something I can’t control anymore.
“I told you to trust me, baby, OK? That’s all you gotta do. Trust me.”
I smile, and I hope it’s genuine enough for him to believe but he seems fine. I think we’re good. “I trust you.”
He slides his hands up under my skirt, pushes my underwear aside and unzips himself, raising my hips up slightly before lowering me back down onto him, and I close my eyes as he sinks into me. It’s a calming feeling, having him inside me, it’s a reminder of why I had to find someone like him; my soldier. Except, Logan’s a soldier, too. A real soldier. Logan’s a man who could protect me just as much as Vanni can, but I married Vanni. I love Vanni. I’m Mrs. Vanni Colletti, wife of a notorious biker gang leader. I’m his old lady. I’m his. So I need to forget Logan Sandero; forget what we did, what I still want him to do, I need to forget that. For both our sakes.
Logan
She walks into the clubhouse like she’s been a part of this place forever, all long blonde hair and never-ending legs, her beautiful face all smiles as she clings onto Vanni’s waist. I didn’t know she’d be coming here today, I thought I’d be going to her, and the change of plan throws me slightly. Does Vanni suspect something? No. If he suspected I’d even looked at Piper the wrong way I wouldn’t still be standing here.
I keep watching as Vanni kisses her, her crazy-sexy body pressed against his as he winds his fingers in her hair, man, he’s making sure we all get the message. We can look, but we touch, and we pay.
Too late, I’ve already touched, I’ve fucked her, been so deep inside her I didn’t ever want to come back out.
“Church. Now.”
His voice booms out around the busy clubhouse and Bullet jerks his head toward the chapel. Vanni issues an order, we all jump, that’s the way this shit works.
He closes the door behind him and waits until we’ve all sat down before he takes Bullet’s place at the head of the table.
“Good work last night, by the way. We all pulled together and we saw those fuckers off. But we still need to keep an eye on them, make sure they don’t take advantage of that second chance I’m giving them, ‘cause if I hadn’t been feeling so generous they’d already know what it feels like to fuck with me. Last night they got my good side.”
And that was fucked up enough, from what Bullet’s told me. Vanni made sure their men paid, some of them with injuries so brutal no-one’s sure if they’ll ever fully recover, but he took no lives, apparently. That’s his good side. Mai
m, but don’t kill. He saves that for when he’s really pissed.
“But my good side, it isn’t making an appearance for this new fight we got coming.”
He sits back in his chair and swings his feet up onto the table, flipping a cigarette between his teeth. He looks ridiculously relaxed for a man who’s about to tell us we’re going to war with the Cabbetto family.
“My wife’s life is being threatened. ‘Cause she accidently overheard something she shouldn’t have. Details of a massacre – a hit that could, if it happens, see hundreds of people killed in cold blood all because someone dared to wrong Francesco Cabbetto. Anyone heard of him?”
He waits while everyone looks at each other, eyeing each and every one of us as some of my brothers here show signs of knowing just who Vanni’s talking about, and others who look slightly confused.
“Francesco ‘Frankie’ Cabbetto, head of one of the most notorious gangland families on the east coast. And Piper – she’s his only daughter. And what she overheard that day – when her daddy and his men found out she knew what they were planning, they needed her silenced. And I don’t know why he didn’t kill her there and then, maybe he had an attack of conscience, I mean, this was his own daughter we’re talking about here. But instead of killing her straightaway, he had her watched over by his right-hand man, Marco ‘Mad Dog’ Vierra. A man who raped her, a man who beat her, just for the hell of it, and her daddy, he did nothing to stop that. He only cared that all the time his lieutenant was violating his little girl, she wasn’t talking. But she threatened to, ‘cause Piper, she’s not stupid. She knew she was never gonna get out of that alive. They were gonna kill her anyway, whether she talked or not, so she threatened to talk. And then she ran. Managed to get hold of her momma’s sleeping pills, slipped a handful of them into Vierra’s nightly brandy, the one he drank every evening as he sat in the corner of her room and watched her sleep; made sure she went nowhere. She slipped them into his drink and waited ‘til that fucker was snoring like the filthy pig he is, and then she ran. And she found me, ‘cause she needed protecting. She found me, and I am gonna do everything in my fucking power to make sure she stays safe. By taking out the men who want to kill her.”
Protection (Death Knights MC Series Book 1) Page 11