‘It sounds revolting,’ Caitlin said, screwing up her nose. ‘Who on earth would want to eat bugs?’
‘I thought you were going to try being more adventurous?’ he teased. ‘Anyway, they’re not bugs. They’re more like lobster. Trust me?’ As she looked into his warm brown eyes, Caitlin wondered if there was a hidden meaning to his words. Did she trust him? As a doctor, yes. As a friend, yes. With her heart? Not really, she admitted sadly.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘But I have a surprise, well, more like a challenge for you.’ She waited until Andrew had given the order to the waiter, before continuing. ‘I’ve arranged for us to go horseback riding this afternoon.’ Seeing that Andrew was about to protest, she held up a restraining hand. ‘So far, I have done everything you have asked. I think it’s only fair that you do something you’re not quite comfortable with.’
He smiled wryly. ‘Okay. Can’t have you going back to Ireland and saying Aussie men chicken out. I hate the brutes, but if that’s what you want, I’ll give it a go.’
The lunch when it arrived was every bit as delicious as Andrew had promised. So far, she had gone against her instincts to stay safe, and had been rewarded. She only hoped that taking a risk with Andrew wasn’t going to be the one that undid her. As they ate they chatted about work.
‘Brianna tells me you’re some big shot in Ireland,’ Andrew said.
‘I suppose that’s one way of putting it.’ Caitlin laughed. ‘I have done a lot of research into infertility, which seems to have caught the imagination internationally. It’s also gone a long way to raising funds for the university we’re affiliated to, and there’s talk about offering me a chair on my return.’ Although she tried, Caitlin couldn’t help the note of pride creeping into her voice. But why not? She had worked hard for her success.
‘Good for you,’ Andrew said. Although his tone seemed genuinely warm, something shifted in his eyes. ‘Seems to me you have your life all mapped out. Career-wise anyway. What about the rest of it. Marriage at least, if not kids?’
Caitlin felt cold fingers of dread wrap around her heart. ‘I haven’t really thought about it. I was with someone for a few years, someone who works in the same department as me. Neither marriage nor children was really on the agenda back then. We were—are—both too focussed on our careers.’ Andrew eyebrows puckered.
‘As far as marriage is concerned, if the right man came along, that would be great, as long as he understood how important my career was. And as for kids…’ She chewed on her lip. ‘Like I said to you before, I don’t know if they figure in my plans. Besides, if I get the chair, I’ll need to commit myself to the job for a few years before I could even consider maternity leave.’
‘What, you’d go back to work after having children? Do you think that’s right?’
‘Look, it’s unlikely I’ll have children but if I ever do,’ Caitlin stressed, ‘then, sure, I’d go back to work. I haven’t worked this hard and this long to throw it all away.’ Andrew narrowed his eyes at her.
‘You think that’s fair? To have someone else raise your children? Why have them?’
Caitlin was aghast at the turn the conversation was taking. How had they got into this? ‘Andrew, loads of women have children and work. It’s more the norm than not.’
‘I don’t accept that,’ he said. ‘As soon as my parents married my mother stayed at home to look after the house and the family. She never regretted it. It’s the right thing to do.’
Caitlin wasn’t sure she was hearing correctly. This was a different, totally unexpected side to Andrew. One she couldn’t quite reconcile with the man she thought she was beginning to know. Andrew had never struck her as anything except a modern Australian man.
‘My mother was a stay-at-home wife and mother until we left home,’ Caitlin said slowly. ‘And with five children to bring up, I don’t blame her. But I was always aware of how hard she worked. She trained to be a nurse, you know, but she never used her training. I know she always regretted not following her dream, although I also know she loves us and Dad more than anything. It was her who brought me up to believe I should have a career, make something of my life.’
‘And you don’t think bringing up children is making something of your life?’ Andrew argued. ‘The most important job of all.’
‘I can see we’re not going to agree,’ Caitlin said quietly. ‘Maybe we should change the subject?’ But the day had lost its sparkle. Caitlin was only too aware of how different she and Andrew were. Miles apart, in fact. She could never be the type of woman he wanted, and it seemed that he wasn’t the sort of man she could ever imagine herself sharing her life with.
After lunch, Andrew called for the bill and insisted on paying. ‘Let me pay half,’ Caitlin suggested, but one look at the set of his jaw made her back down. It had simply not occurred to her, as masculine as Andrew was, that he was so conventional when it came to gender roles.
‘Do you want to forget about the horse riding?’ she asked. ‘Go back to Brisbane instead?’ How could she have been so stupid? This was exactly what happened when you threw caution to the wind. Now she had gone and fallen for a man from whom it seemed she was miles apart.
‘Hell, no,’Andrew said, the stormclouds clearing from his face. ‘And having you tell everyone I chickened out? Not on your life.’
Caitlin couldn’t help a small shiver of satisfaction when she saw Andrew blanch at the size of his horse. Staying resolutely in role, he said nothing, but whistled nonchalantly. But Caitlin wasn’t deceived. For the first time since she had met him she was seeing an Andrew Bedi well out of his comfort zone. That would teach him to be so macho all the time.
‘You can still change your mind,’ she said as he climbed into the saddle. His horse, sensing his discomfort, reared and Caitlin had to lean forward to catch the reins before he bolted with Andrew.
‘Let’s just get on with it,’ Andrew replied through gritted teeth. Caitlin gave him a quick lesson on how to hold the reins and what to do with the stirrups, relishing the opportunity to turn the tables on him. Thankfully for Andrew, the stables had supplied them with Americanstyle saddles that, given their depth, would offer Andrew a little more security. He shifted around in the saddle before leaning towards Caitlin and asking in a whisper, ‘What am I supposed to do about…you know?’ Caitlin followed his glance downwards and grinned.
‘Not a lot you can do, I’m afraid. Just one of those things men have to put up with.’ They headed off at a walk, the owner having explained where to go to find the waterhole. As soon as they were out of sight, Caitlin suggested they try a canter. ‘You’ll probably find it easier than a trot,’ she explained. ‘Especially on the you-know-whats.’
‘Let’s get this over with,’ Andrew replied through gritted teeth.
Caitlin kicked her horse into a canter, turning around in the saddle to see how Andrew was doing. Unfortunately he was bouncing around like a sack of potatoes, holding on to the reins as if his life depended on it. Trying not to laugh, Caitlin yelled, ‘Relax, Andrew. Just go with the movement,’ before kicking her horse on.
When she next risked a backward glance she was surprised to see that Andrew was beginning to get the hang of it. He was moving more comfortably with the horse and had loosened his grip on the reins.
Half an hour later they found the watering hole and Caitlin dismounted and waited for Andrew to catch up. The sun was still high in the sky and that, combined with the exercise, had left Caitlin with a sheen of sweat covering her body.
As Andrew came to an undignified stop, she gathered the reins of his horse and tied them to a tree close to hers.
‘I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk for days,’ he groaned. ‘Or do anything else for that matter.’ He slid her a devilish grin.
‘Is there anything likely to be lurking in there?’ Caitlin pointed to the pool of aquamarine water.
‘No, I think it’s pretty safe,’Andrew said, slipping off his T-shirt. ‘But even crocs won’t keep m
e out.’ His jeans and boxers followed the T-shirt and then he was in the water. ‘Come on in,’ he called. ‘It’s great.’ And then he disappeared from view as he submerged his head in the murky water.
Caitlin stood confused. Since their discussion over lunch, she had resolutely refused to think about the significance of Andrew’s words. But could she really act as if they had meant nothing? Perhaps now was the time to speak to him, before she got in any deeper. But before she had the time to formulate her words, Andrew strode out of the water and picked her up in his arms. Ignoring her squeals of protest, he removed her glasses and baseball cap, placing them a safe distance from the horses, and carried her, fully dressed, into the cool water. Caitlin gasped as the water seeped over her skin, soaking her shorts and T-shirt. But he was right. It was a delicious relief.
As she gasped from the shock of the water on her overheated skin, he brought his mouth down on hers. Despite her reservations of only moments before, she responded hungrily, drawing him closer and kissing him back with all the pent-up passion of the last few years. Just let me have this time. I’ll be sensible later, was her last coherent thought as Andrew carried her out of the pool and placed her on a bed of leaves. Then they were both pulling at her clothes, urgent in their need. As Andrew’s face swam before her, Caitlin once more was powerless to prevent herself giving in to him.
Later, they unpacked the provisions the owner of the stables had provided and Andrew showed her how to brew tea in a billy can while they munched on fruit and fresh bread. Caitlin watched as he worked, relishing the look of his bronze skin and the way his muscles rippled as he moved. As she picked leaves out of her hair that lay in a mass of tangles around her shoulders, she wondered where the cool, calm, collected Dr O’Neill of only a couple of weeks ago had disappeared to. She knew that that woman was gone for ever, but who had replaced her? Certainly not the woman Andrew had described earlier.
As they sipped their tea, Caitlin made up her mind. Regardless of the change in her, she was still a woman who needed to know what lay ahead. She couldn’t pretend to herself, no matter how much she wanted to, that she was able to continue with a relationship, no matter how heady, under false pretences. But still she hesitated, knowing somewhere deep in her soul that once she spoke, things would never be the same between them again.
‘Tell me about your family,’ she said, trying to ease her way into the conversation.
‘Not much to tell,’ he said. ‘Parents are first-generation Australians, came over here just after they got married and have worked incredibly hard to build a successful business.’
‘I thought your mother didn’t work.’
‘She worked to support my father by looking after the home and the children.’
‘Children?’ Caitlin queried, feeling slightly guilty as she already knew the answer from what Brianna had told her. But she wanted to hear Andrew’s story from his own lips. Perhaps it would offer another glimpse of the real Dr Bedi. ‘I thought you were an only child?’
Andrew rose to his feet and, keeping his back to her, spoke softly. ‘I had a sister, an older sister.’
‘Had?’ Caitlin prompted.
‘She died following a post-partum haemorrhage. The baby died too,’ Andrew said curtly.
‘I am so sorry.’ Caitlin came to stand behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her head against his back.
‘It was ten years ago,’ Andrew said. ‘I still miss her.’
‘Did she leave any other children?’
‘No. It’s only me left.’ He laughed shortly. ‘I’m my parents’ whole world now. They depend on me for their future—to carry on the family line.’
‘What do you mean?’ Caitlin asked, prompted at the strange emphasis he gave the words.
‘They hope I’ll meet someone—someone from the same background—who will have the same values as we do.’
‘Are you telling me that you are considering an arranged marriage? That your parents want you to marry an Indian girl?’ Caitlin asked, feeling a cool breeze run through her soul.
‘It would make them very happy,’ he said. ‘But it wouldn’t be an arranged marriage as such. I couldn’t ever marry someone I didn’t like and admire. Not even to keep my parents happy. But you should know, Caitlin, that this isn’t something my parents are forcing on me. While I do have a duty to them, I happen to truly believe that Western marriages are more likely to fail than Indian ones, precisely because they aren’t built on mutual respect and common values.’
Caitlin was reeling from Andrew’s revelations. But hadn’t she, until recently, thought the same thing? That the best marriages were based on respect and affection rather than passion, which would inevitably pass with time? And why was she now so certain that she had been wrong? She knew now, with absolute certainty, that she could never marry anyone she wasn’t totally, desperately, head over heels in love with. The way she loved Andrew.
‘What does that mean for us?’ she said softly, willing her voice to remain steady.
Andrew turned and looked at Caitlin, holding her away so he could look directly into her eyes.
‘Us?’ he echoed. ‘I’m sorry, Caitlin, I hadn’t really thought about an us. You are a beautiful, exceptional woman, a woman who I want to spend time with, but…’
‘But…’ Caitlin repeated, feeling chilled to the bone.
‘We have different ambitions, goals in life. You want your career—you’ve made that very clear, and you should be proud of yourself that you are so successful. But as for me, I want my career and eventually, not for years yet, to find someone my parents approve of, who will want the same things in life that I do. We both want different things from our futures. In the meantime, can’t we just enjoy what we have? Make the most of our time together?’
She turned away from him, lest he see the disappointment in her eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Andrew. I know it’s late in the day, and I suppose you could say I came into this with my eyes wide open, but I’m not the sort of woman who can take a relationship casually. Just for sex. That, I suppose, is the main difference between you and me.’
He grabbed her arm and turned her back to face him. ‘What are you saying, Caitlin?’
‘I’m saying, Andrew, that as much as I’ve enjoyed this time with you, it’s over.’ The words sounded formal and stiff, but Caitlin was finding it difficult to speak through the tightness in her throat. If this weekend had meant anything to him, and from the way he had held her, made love to her, she couldn’t believe it hadn’t, then he’d be willing to try and meet her halfway. But, then, she reminded herself, she really didn’t know how men thought.
He gave her one last searching look and then dropped his arms in defeat. ‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘I have been a selfish idiot.’
Unspeakably disappointed at how easily he was giving her up, Caitlin tried a smile. If he felt so little for her, she was damned if she was going to let him see how much he had hurt her.
‘I think we should go now,’ she said quietly. ‘I’d like to get back to Brisbane tonight, preferably before it’s dark.’
‘Caitlin.’ He reached out towards her and touched her hair. For a second Caitlin thought he was going to say something that would make this whole horrible mess all right. But instead he stepped away from her. ‘We’d better get going,’ he said.
The journey back to Brisbane was a quiet affair, both of them preoccupied with their thoughts. They had stopped at Andrew’s beach house to collect their belongings and freshen up, but the light had gone out of the day. Caitlin was relieved when they pulled up outside her sister’s house. In the fading light, Caitlin could see that no one was home and she was glad that she wouldn’t have to face her sister’s questions about her early return until later. Her stomach was churning and she felt mildly nauseous.
‘Thank you,’ she said stiffly as Andrew handed her her bag. ‘I’ll see you on Monday.’
‘Sure. And, Caitlin, I’m not sorry we had this time together.’ H
e looked at her for a long moment.
‘Don’t worry, Andrew, I won’t let it affect our professional relationship. I’m as much to…’ She searched for the right word. ‘Blame for what happened as you,’ Caitlin said. Then, before she lost all self-control, she bolted inside. She only just made it to the bathroom before she was sick.
* * *
‘Hey, we didn’t expect you until tomorrow,’ Brianna said predictably when she found Caitlin wrapped in her dressing gown on the front veranda. She looked at her sister quizzically. ‘You don’t look great. Are you all right?’
‘I think I’ve picked up a tummy bug,’ Caitlin said. And if it was only part of the truth, Caitlin wasn’t lying. She had felt dreadfully ill and had been sick twice since her return home.
‘Up to bed with you,’ Brianna said firmly. ‘I’ll bring you some peppermint tea. You can tell me all about it tomorrow when you feel better.’ Reluctantly, Caitlin let her sister propel her upstairs, dismally aware that it was she who should be looking after Brianna, not the other way round.
When she brought up the tea, she sat on the edge of the bed looking concerned. ‘Should I ring someone? Andrew perhaps?’
Caitlin was horrified at the thought. ‘It’s probably only a twenty-four-hour thing. Plenty of fluids and bed rest is what any doctor would recommend. Honestly, Bri, I’m fine. But how are you?’
‘We had a lovely day,’ Brianna said. ‘It’s funny how being ill can make you appreciate all the little things. Every day is special.’
‘You’re not worried, Bri? You’re feeling okay?’ Caitlin sat up, almost knocking over her tea in the process. ‘You’ve not felt any new lumps, have you? You’re looking a little flushed to me. And I can hear you still have that cough.’
‘Caitlin,’ Bri said warningly, ‘you’re fussing again. I’m probably a bit flushed because I caught the sun. And as for the cough, it’s hardly more than a tickle. It’s just that I have my check-up this week and I guess I’m just feeling a bit ansty, wondering if they’ll be recommending more treatment. I wish Niall wasn’t going to be in Sydney so he could come with me for moral support.’
Six Sexy Doctors Part 1 (Mills & Boon e-Book Collections): A Doctor, A Nurse: A Little Miracle / The Children's Doctor and the Single Mum / A Wife for ... / The Playboy Doctor's Surprise Proposal Page 85