by Brad Manuel
“After a few months, you know, Christmas, I realized, this is hard damn work. I’d earn their love. I deserved their love.” She laughed. “It may have been selfish at the beginning, but by the end, wow, I had no idea how much time and energy it takes to raise three kids. I was only prepared for one!”
Emily sat down next to her on the bed, putting her arm around her. “I know it doesn’t help, but if your son died from the rapture, your husband most likely would have passed too.”
Melanie looked at her. “My baby didn’t die from the rapture, he died because of it. He died in my arms. I spent every day with him at Johns Hopkins, and he was close to being able to breathe. All the chaos, all the craziness, and he fought, and I took care of him by myself. The nurses died. The doctors died. The other babies were long since gone. He and I made it through, until the damn power went out.” Melanie’s eyes dropped large tears onto her shirt. “The god damn power went out. I could have taken care of him until he was ready if the damn power had stayed on, or I had been able to move a generator into the room, or if one other person had been there to help me, but it was only me, and I didn’t know what to do.”
She was sobbing now, her shoulders heaving up and down.
“So the power went out, and I pulled him out of the respirator cube, and he couldn’t breathe. His little lungs weren’t strong enough yet, they needed more time. I pumped the hand respirator for him, I breathed for him. I pumped for almost a day and a half before I collapsed and passed out.” Melanie looked at Solange. “And when I woke up? I woke up in the glider chair in the ICU. It was dark, and the moon streamed in from a skylight. My precious baby, my son, the only thing I had left from my husband and marriage? He lay motionless in my arms.” Melanie put her hands up to her face and covered her eyes.
Solange sat down on the bed, and pulled Melanie towards her. “It is alright. You are okay. You were as strong as you could be, there was nothing you could do.” Solange rocked the woman gently.
Melanie cried in the young stranger’s arms for several minutes before withdrawing. She went into the bathroom and cleaned herself up. “Wow, I look horrible. My eyes are red and puffy from crying.”
Emily wiped tears from her own cheeks. “Mel, I am so sorry, I had no idea. Peter told us you were caring for a baby in the NICU. He never said it was your own son.”
Melanie sniffed in her nose. “He doesn’t know. He is a sweet man. He doesn’t need my baggage. He needed my help. I told him why I was upset, but didn’t tell him the whole truth.” Melanie started to chuckle as if something was funny.
“So I bet when you agreed to let the new girl on your White House tour, you didn’t expect such high drama in the first room. Huh? I’m sure you’re both like ‘who let this one come with us?’ I swear, I’m not this emotional, you’re the first women I’ve spoken to in six months.”
“And you’ve known us all of 15 hours, so of course you open up and bear your soul, that only makes sense.” Emily laughed. “I expected this. Didn’t you Sol?”
“I thought we would be braiding hair and talking about boys by now. Maybe in the next room?” Solange’s joke shocked the older women.
Melanie and Emily stopped laughing and looked at her with their mouths agape. “You’re funny too? You’re beautiful, resourceful, hardworking, and now you’re funny? This is not going to work at all.” Emily shook her head.
They laughed at their jokes. Melanie laughed so hard she started crying again and had to return to the bathroom to wipe her face.
The White House visit was more fun than the women expected. They laughed, they picked up mementos, they saw rooms not on the official tour. It was an afternoon of female bonding. They emerged as the sun sank in the western sky.
The kids were exhausted. Casey’s thumb was in her mouth as she sat under a blanket on Todd’s lap.
Todd was in a folding chair on the lawn, enjoying the warm weather. He found a large pot in the White House kitchen, and constructed a brick stove above a fire. He stacked the bricks, allowing for vents on all sides, so that the pot was just above the flames. He left one side open to feed the fire wood. He saw the technique on a cooking show by a famous American chef who made paella over an open flame. The large pot was filled with water, waiting for the crabs. A box of bay seasoning rested on the ground near the brick tower.
He looked at the smiling women as they laughed and joked with each other. “That must have been some White House tour.”
Emily walked to her husband. She leaned over and gave him a kiss. “We have found wonderful people. Thank you for letting me spend the afternoon with them.”
“I’d claim the kids were trouble, but really, they have been playing nicely and independently all afternoon. I swear, it’s like we have new kids. They played tag, soccer, tag again, hide and seek.”
“The other men are not back?” Solange looked for Peter, John, and Matt.
“I bet they couldn’t get Craig to stop fishing. It’s why I started the fire. He said they were coming back by five. I want this pot boiling so we can drop the crabs right into the water. I have the pizza oven going to roast the fish. It should be a tasty meal tonight.” Todd’s mouth watered at the thought of fresh seafood.
“Did Matt tell you we found garlic, onions, and herbs in the garden?” Melanie asked.
“He did, and along with the dried chorizo we scavenged, I am planning a big paella party tomorrow night. Now that I know we can catch fish, it should be fun to make. I’ll have bread to sop up the sauce. Tonight? Crab boil.”
“Where did you find this one? I loved my husband, but he didn’t cook. Are there any more around like him?” Melanie asked.
“Stay away from him, he’s mine. Besides, he’s fixed, he can’t help repopulate. I figure that keeps him tied to me.” Emily put her arms around Todd’s shoulders as he sat in the chair.
“Fixed? Did you drink on that tour? I feel like a piece of meat.” Todd feigned indignation.
“What does fixed mean?” Casey asked Melanie. She listened intently from her spot on Todd’s lap.
Brian ran up, “Can we watch a show? We’ve been outside all day. Please?” Todd refused the request all afternoon.
“If you wash your hands, and get ready for dinner, you may put a show on. No movie, just shows.” Todd replied.
“Yes! Hey guys! We can watch a show! We need to get ready for dinner first!” Brian ran into the RV to wash his hands.
Solange looked at the tables they used at lunch. Todd set them with disposable plastic tablecloths, napkins, and plastic flatware. “You made the tables?” She said to him before looking at Melanie. “He is a keeper. He cooks. He sets up the table.”
“Okay, that’s enough from the two of you. He is going to get a big head.” Emily was smiling, her arms still around Todd. She liked hearing how great a catch she had.
Todd saw the SUV turn a corner in the distance and head towards the entrance gate. “Dinner has arrived.” He said, jumping up from his chair and walking towards the RV. “And just as the pot has started to boil, now that is timing.” He entered the RV to drop boxes of New Orleans style dirty rice into water he was boiling on the stove inside.
As the sun set and the night temperature dropped out of the 70’s, the day of playing caught up with the children. Jake, Jackie, Brian, Jay, and Casey were exhausted, and whined to go to bed. They were told they could sleep in the RV using sleeping bags or extra blankets. Casey jumped on the couch, and the other kids gladly slept on camping pads. Melanie promised her children she would stay at the White House location for the night.
John turned to the rest of the adults, “Solange, Matt, and I have done our time. We are going with Peter to the apartment. Todd? You and Emily get the early shift tomorrow morning. Craig and Matt can come with me.”
“Are you leaving now?” Todd asked. “It’s still early.”
“If Peter will take us over there, I wouldn’t mind. Craig is tired, I’m tired.”
“I’m tired. I never g
ot back to sleep.” Matt whined like the younger children. “I’m a growing boy. I need my 12 hours a night.”
Peter was out of his chair. “Okay with me. I can sleep all the time if you let me. Mel, this is our first night apart in a long time. I hope you will be okay.”
Melanie smiled at the kind man. “I’ll try to make it through, Pete. I’ll see you in the morning. We’ll have breakfast going for you tomorrow, if you can make it over before noon this time.” She gave him a wink.
“I’m going to take advantage of my second retirement. You’ll see me when you see me.” He waved to the group.
Emily turned to her new friend. “Is he as nice as he seems to be?”
Melanie nodded, watching the elderly man walk towards the apartment with the three others. “He is. These three kids, they owe him. He could easily have turned the other cheek. He’s not 80, but he’s not 45 either. It’s been hard work keeping them alive. Keeping them educated. Keeping them warm. He made decisions for us, stepped forward to say what was right and wrong.” She turned to Emily and Todd. “I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for him. I probably would have killed myself. He gave me hope, showed me compassion.”
“As much time as we spent together, he never opened up to me, he never gave me the full story on his life. I know he lost his family. I know he was a pilot, but both of you know that from spending five minutes with him.” She took a sip of her instant decaf coffee. “I never pushed him to talk. We all have secrets to keep. We all can choose how we go forward in this new world. Maybe Pete wants to start again, be different than he was. I don’t know how a 68 year old man changes who he is, but maybe he wants to try.”
“What would you be?” Todd asked her.
“What?” Melanie replied, snapping out of the philosophical haze she entered while talking about Peter.
“What are you going to be now? I can tell you, you’re never going to operate on a person’s head again. What do you want to be?” Todd was curious what her clean slate would become.
“I have always wanted to grow things, to provide for people with my hands. It’s not so different than being a surgeon. I was at a fork in the road in college, and I let my responsible side win, or maybe my greedy side. I have a talent for medicine. I have a passion for it too, helping people, but most of all I have a passion to be the best. You don’t get much higher on the ladder than a neurosurgeon at Johns Hopkins. If someone said they were better than me, it would be hair splitting. I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that is why I did what I did, surgery. I may have taken the first step into medicine for the good reasons, but for the last 15 years I’ve been in it for competitive reasons. I’d like to get back to working with my hands for altruistic purposes.”
“I bet the people you saved didn’t care about ego driving your career.” Emily consoled Melanie’s harsh indictment of her past.
“I care that I was like that. Look where it got me? My family is dead. All the capital I earned; human, career, monetary, it’s all worthless.”
“Mel?” Todd interrupted her. “You need to look at the positive. You are going to help with your botany, your farming, and you’re going to help with your medical skills. I hope you can pass along your knowledge to one of the kids. Whatever drove you a year ago, whatever got you to the pinnacle of your profession, the results are even more valuable now. Finding a doctor was a driving force in our decision to seek others. Think of your new practice. If we find more survivors, you will be the doctor to friends and family. You’ll know your patients, will look them in the eye.“ He paused. “Of course none of us can pay you.”
“You joke, but I guarantee you within a year I will have the most chickens or livestock, or whatever works as currency.” She had a smile on her face. “One year, Todd.”
Melanie took a sip before asking Todd the same question. “What are you going to do? What missed opportunity or passion will you follow?”
“I am offended that you would imply software sales and consulting was not, and does not continue to be my passion. I am going to keep on moving in my career. Sure, it’s been a bad couple of quarters, but that only means I can bounce back.” He laughed.
“I love to cook and feed people I care about. You can tell from my last few meals, I think I have a talent in the kitchen. I did not explore a career because I never wanted cooking to be a burden. If I had to go to a restaurant day in and out, cooking the same meals for hundreds of strangers, I might have tired of cooking. If we stay together as the tribe I envision, I hope to cook meals for the family we create.”
“Tribe?” Melanie asked. “You think we’re a tribe?”
“Um, that’s my fault.” Emily confessed. “It’s a term I used to describe what we want to be, or what we have become. I said we needed to leave Raleigh to find other surviving tribes, see if we can merge and add skills.”
“I like the idea that I have joined a new tribe. It’s certainly accurate when you think of my last five months.”
“Anyway,” Todd said in an effort to continue. “I enjoy planning and making these big meals. I know that eventually, when we settle in one location, we’ll naturally find our own homes, and cook our own meals, but I like the role of cook. I envision our tribe, or village, or colony, whatever semantic we use, coming together once a week for a large meal or celebration. I want to be able to pass along skills to younger kids. Teach them what tastes go together, how to best cook things, be it boiled, fried, or sautéed.”
“I’ve never seen a brick tower built over a fire pit used to boil water, and I’m excited to eat paella tomorrow night. You’re doing a nice job so far. And the bread? Oh my, I have never had bread as good as yours, before the rapture included.”
“If you don’t get some wheat grown and flour made, the bread train will come to a stop quickly.”
“Is no one going to ask me what I want to be when I grow up?” Emily asked.
“This is an organic conversation. I didn’t realize we had to prompt you.” Todd joked.
“No way, you asked Melanie first, then she asked you, and then you both started talking about bread, and wheat, and now I’m just sitting here wondering if you are going to ask me about my new life goals.” She feigned anger.
“Emily, I’m curious what you would like to do, now that your options are open.” Melanie asked, rolling her eyes at Todd.
“I saw that, but I’ll ignore it.” She sneered at both of them. “And you know what? I have no idea. I’ve been in the rat race for so long, grinding at my career, pressing to make the next sale. It’s been what? Seven, eight months since I worked, and I still find myself thinking about hedge funds, and i-banks. Isn’t that sad? Those things don’t exist anymore, but they crowd my thoughts.”
Emily pulled her blanket tight around her shoulders. The evening air was chilly, even next to the fire.
“Todd will tell you, I am not one who can sit around. I keep busy, cleaning, teaching the kids, touring homes, but I don’t know what my long term prospects are. I know I will stay partners with Todd.”
“Thanks!” Todd said energetically.
“Well, at least in the short term.” Emily added after his comment. “And we’ll raise our children, and help raise yours, and John’s, but I don’t know where I fit into all of this madness. I’m not a doctor, or engineer, or hunter, or farmer. I don’t know, I guess I’ll try to fill in whenever I can.” Emily looked up at the stars and moon.
“It’s almost scary, knowing how I fit in life for so long, matching my talents to the correct career for 20 years, and now, I don’t know what I am going to do. I enjoy teaching. I always volunteered at my kids’ school, just an hour here or there in the mornings. I like helping kids move forward, but whether I can do that day in and day out? I think I need to take life as it comes.”
Melanie nodded. “It’s funny, isn’t it? We have so much to do, grow our food, find a home, teach our kids, yet we still sit around and try and define our careers. Your approach is more realistic. I want to b
e a farmer, but that may only be a small part of my new life. Maybe we will all become dynamic in our skills. The old world rewarded specialized talents, making sure people contributed in a unique way. Companies, hospitals, they did not want redundancies, people had to make their skills special.”
She leaned forward, as if she was coming to a realization, “I can’t get fired from being Casey’s, Jake’s, and Jackie’s mother. I can’t get fired from the tribe unless I break a horrible rule. I don’t need to make sure I am indispensible, because we are all indispensible. There are only a handful of us. Each of us will need to know how to hunt and clean animals, sow and reap crops, build and repair homes.” She sat back. “Wow, what a burden and yet what a relief. Each day is about surviving, not about maximizing my time. My day is no longer about seeing enough patients to make sure my practice is profitable, my life is about helping my tribe survive.”
Todd agreed. “It’s so basic, if you think about it. Tomorrow we need to get food to make meals. We need to take the kids on tours, go to bed. Done. There is nothing on the horizon. There is no deadline or sales’ goal.”
They sat in their chairs quietly for a few moments reflecting on the conversation.
“Were any of you against looking for other survivors?” Melanie asked.
Todd nodded. “John is still against it. I was on the fence. Emily and Matt pushed for engaging other people.”
“I’m glad you found me, found us. I’ll go wherever you go, do whatever you do, if you’ll have me. I see how well you are raising your kids. I want that culture for my three. I understand what you are trying to create with the tribe.” She stopped. “But I understand where John is coming from. We need firm ideas and rules when we get to New York. If there are people up there, and they are in a group, they will have leaders, and ideas of their own. “
“We know, but it’s important to get everyone together.” Emily started.
“I understand. We have to go, don’t get me wrong. What I am saying is, we need to have a solid idea on where we are going after New Hampshire, and how we are going to get there. If we run into a tribe, a term I will adopt because I like it, when we run into the tribe, we are probably going to have to convince people to leave their tribe and join our tribe. We might not get everyone. They might try to convince me to stay, knowing I am a doctor. We should consider hiding the fact I am a doctor, unless we believe it will incent people to join our tribe. They might want Peter because he is a man, Matt because he is a young man, or Solange because she is a woman. I don’t know if I want you to show your pizza oven to a large group. If things become violent, it might not continue with us.”