by Tara Lain
Rod shook his head as he sipped champagne. “Only the power of JJ could have gotten us all together in one room at the same time.” He raised his glass. “To JJ!”
They all drank. Robin glanced at that pretty face. It was easy to appreciate JJ, one of the kindest, gentlest humans ever, with a sweetness that pervaded and persuaded. Robin had a crush on JJ until JJ had fallen for Ryan, the tough cop. Staring at him now, Robin could see how he’d loved JJ for being so much like Bobby. Maybe I knew I’d finally lose Bobby and was just trying to hold on to him. Okay, that was a bit psychological even for him, but he’d tried it again with Micah. He’d really wanted to love the sweet man, and he did, as a friend, as a future brother-in-law, but not as a lover. Learn your lesson, idiot. You’ve already got a brother. Hell, a whole room full of them. You don’t need another one.
So what did he need? Not going there.
Jerry leaned over from his chair and said, “Hey, man, Mick and me have this friend who’s an accountant and a really great dancer. I bet you’d like him. Maybe we could set up a double date sometime soon.”
Did he want to? “Thanks, Jer, but I’m kind of off guys for a while.”
Eldon, who glowed with his recommitment to Howard, shook a finger. “Not wise, my dear. You need to get back on the horse, as they say. Did you get a look at the guy I was with at the fundraiser? He’s charming, a lot of fun, and doesn’t require you to be exclusive. I’ll introduce you.”
Robin smiled tightly. “Thanks, but I wasn’t really on a horse, so I didn’t fall off and don’t need to get back on—or something relating to that analogy. You get it, right? I appreciate all of your solicitude, but I honestly don’t need it. Yes, it will be different not living with Bobby, but Jesus, guys, we knew this would happen someday. You can’t think I’m unhappy. Hell, I’ve never wanted anything in life but Bobby’s happiness.”
“Darling, maybe it’s time to want your own.” Bobby smiled toward Robin, but he gazed over Robin’s shoulder.
“What?” Robin turned and looked at Paolo, who stood there with Josie.
“Hi.”
How could he have forgotten how beautiful that face was—especially now, when it looked uncertain and even a little vulnerable? Really. His eyes must be cloudy.
Robin swallowed hard and tried to land somewhere between a frown and neutral. “Hi.”
Paolo’s glance traveled around the big circle of men. He nodded at Howard and Micah, who he knew. “This is quite a group. Uh, I’m Paolo Lind, and this is my mother, Josie Lindero.”
She cracked a smile. “If I’d known gay men were this gorgeous, I’d have been hanging out in gay bars long ago.”
Rod rose with a flourish. “Then come and bask, my dear. We have more chairs.” He pulled one from a nearby table, and Hunter rose and got another for Paolo. Hands were shaken all around the circle as Paolo and Josie met all the guys.
Robin couldn’t quite close his mouth. Paolo and Josie finally sat. The words burst out. “Why are you here?”
Bobby squealed, “Ro-bin!”
Josie chuckled in that raspy tenor. “I see what you mean about you two looking alike and not acting alike.” She extended her hand to Bobby. “Hi, honey. I’m Josie. I’m the one your brother gave a new lease on life last weekend. Proud to meet you.”
Robin frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you reminded me that I’m a grown-up and I have choices. I know that sounds simple. Hell, therapists have been trying to tell me that for years, but you got through, I guess because you meant it. Anyway, I’m going to give this adult shit a try.”
“I’m really glad.” Man, that made a lot of things worth it.
JJ gave Josie his sweet smile. “So what are you planning, Josie?”
She started talking about job hunting and résumés, which was amazing and inspiring, but Paolo kept glancing at Robin and shifting uneasily in his chair.
Hunter, Snake, and Theodore got involved in the conversation, suggesting where Josie could get some training or how she might go back to school. Still Robin couldn’t quit looking at Paolo, who didn’t seem to be aware that Josie was even talking. He’d stare at his hands, then flick a glance at Robin, their eyes would connect, and he’d look away.
With a wave of the hand, Rod burst into the general conversation. “Paolo, it appears you didn’t come here to share your mother’s educational plans with us.” He leaned forward. “Since you’ve been busily breaking our friend’s heart, maybe you’d like to tell us what’s going on.”
Robin shrieked, “Rodney Mansfield, dammit!” He spun in his chair so his back was to them all.
Paolo’s voice was soft. “Did I? Did I break your heart?”
“There are those who’d argue I don’t have one to break.” Robin stiffened his back and spoke into his crossed arms.
“That wouldn’t be me.” Paolo’s voice sounded closer, and the guys were all silent like they were… waiting.
Robin glared over his shoulder. Paolo had switched chairs with Jerry, who had been beside Robin. With a huff, Robin faced him. “You still haven’t answered my question. Why the hell are you here, Mr. Lind?”
Paolo cleared his throat. “I asked my mom to come here with me to tell you what a fucked-up idiot I am.”
Robin spit champagne on the table as Rod, David, and most of the other guys laughed.
“Excuse me?”
“Yep, he did. Asked me real nice too.” Josie leaned back authoritatively. “See, honey, it’s like this. I was a pretty bad mother.” She frowned. “I mean, I gave it a shot, but I never took responsibility for much. So Paul took responsibility for me. He worked his ass off to get out of the neighborhood we lived in and to go to school. His craptastic daddy made him really smart that way. Good thing he gave him something—along with the good looks. Anyway, Paul never got to have any fun or do anything because he just felt like it—”
Paolo shook his head. “Okay, that’s not what I expected her to say. Bottom line is, I’m a rat bastard who uses people like tools—but I don’t like being that way. I always think I’m the only one who can take care of me. Then I met you, and you take care of everyone except yourself.”
“What?” Robin jumped up and his chair fell backward. “That’s ridiculous. I’m just like you. A self-centered rat bastard who doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”
Bobby yelled, “That’s bullshit!”
By now all the other people in the club were staring at them. Fortunately it wasn’t many, being early in the afternoon.
Josie reached over and put a hand on Robin’s arm. “You’re exactly right, honey. You are just like Paul, I mean Paolo. He takes care of me and his friends and his employees and his clients. Just like you. You’re two of a kind, honey. I saw that the night you came to get me. I see it now.”
Paolo stood so he was facing Robin. “I’m sorry for what I said. That night. I didn’t mean it.”
“What exactly did you say?” That was from Rod, who had his arms crossed and eyes narrowed, scary for any guy to face.
“I said that I just wanted Robin for a sleepover, but that’s a lie. I mean, I didn’t intend to lie, but it came out wrong and—”
Rod’s hand waved in front of Paolo’s face. “Same difference. Very bad choice of words.”
Jerry, the one who considered himself the dumbest among them and consequently was often the most brilliant, asked, “So what do you want him for, man?”
Paolo frowned and crossed his arms in a carbon copy of Robin. “I don’t know exactly.” His eyes connected with his mother, who made a face that had to mean You’re fucking this up, because he said, “Everything. I mean, I want everything you want to give me.”
She smiled and nodded approvingly at his words.
Robin frowned to cover the slamming of his pulse. “Can we go someplace else?” He stared at his shoes. “No offense, guys.”
Rod shook his head widely. “No way. I want to hear this.”
JJ clapped his hands.
“Me too.”
“Count me in. No fair not sharing the good stuff.” David leaned on his hand and fluttered his lashes.
Paolo just stared at Robin.
Robin gave each of the guys eye contact. Every one of them cared about him, and that was a gift. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Okay. Shoot.”
Hunter barked a laugh. “Right. Make this as easy as possible.”
Paolo settled back in the chair like he was telling a story. “I don’t deserve for it to be easy, since I’ve made life about as tough for Robin as possible since we met.” He sighed. “The reason, I guess, is fear. A lot of shit scares me—like going back where I was as a kid. From the second I saw Robin in that conference room and got sucked in by his talent as much as by his ass, I felt everything melting down. I wanted to hate him. I wanted him to be the rat bastard he says he is, but every time I saw him, I saw something different.” He grinned. “Once he said my building was pretty good. He meant it as an insult, but it was the best compliment I’d gotten all week. The first time I saw him laugh, I felt like someone gave me a new Ferrari.”
Robin made a rude noise and fought back heat pressing at his eyelids.
JJ wiped tears while Ryan hugged him and Bobby beamed at Paolo through shiny eyes. Well, bullshit.
Puzzle pieces tried to line up and jump into empty places in Robin’s chest. He’d be damned if they would. Nobody promised Robin a fucking rose garden here. “Can we go talk now?”
Rod blew his nose. “I certainly hope ‘talk’ is a euphemism for more enticing activity. I think this one could be a winner, sweetie. You better keep him.”
Paolo looked nervous. “I have to take my mother home.”
Bobby leaped up. “We’ll take her. I mean, if she wouldn’t mind.”
Josie laughed. “Hell, no. I’ll spend as much time in this pretty bunch as I can.”
Robin said, “Actually, uh, I have my car if Josie can drive yours.”
Paolo dug in his pocket and pulled out his keys, then handed them to his mom. “You okay?”
“Sure, honey.”
He gave one nod and stuck out his hand. Robin glowered at it. Oh well, what the fuck. He grabbed Paolo’s hand, wrapped his own in it, and they walked out the door.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
NEITHER OF them said anything as they powered down the sidewalk in the bright afternoon light, not looking at each other. Robin pointed to the corner, rounded it, and stopped at the black Ferrari. He glanced up through his lashes at Paolo. “I tried to give it back, but Howard wouldn’t take it. He says I got him back the man he loves and it’s my car.”
Paolo looked at the little vehicle and barked a laugh. “Hell, I’ve always wanted to ride in one.”
“Get in.” Robin beeped the lock and rounded the car to the driver’s door, only to be met by Paolo, who opened it for him.
“This is for all the times I didn’t do it and wanted to.”
Robin felt his lips turn up as he crawled into the seat and Paolo closed the door. When Paolo got in his side, the sleek interior, redolent with new-car smell, enclosed them. “Where to?”
“We can go to your place or my place, if you want. Or more neutral territory if you’d prefer.”
Robin started the engine and enjoyed the rumbling vibration in his balls. Of course, that might not be the car. “Your place is fine. Direct me.”
“North.”
Robin pulled onto PCH and silently drove through town, getting admiring stares for the Ferrari. He officially understood the expression “cutting tension with a knife.”
From the north end of Laguna, they broke out onto the part of the road with a beautiful view of the ocean. Sun glinted off the expanse of blue, and happy bodies rode waves into shore.
Paolo said, “Turn right up here.”
Robin pulled into the entry of Crystal Cove, a newer development of upscale townhomes that looked more like Newport Beach than Laguna. As the guard waved them through the gate, Robin glanced at Paolo. “Not exactly the style I’d have picked for you.”
“I know.”
Okay.
Paolo directed him to a parking place and then came around again and opened Robin’s door. As statements went, it was pretty cute.
Once again, the proffered hand—Robin took it and they walked up to a two-story, Mediterranean-style building. Really? Paolo opened the door and Robin strode in, anxious to see what the hell Paolo Lind was doing in this house. Okay, as he’d expected—hoped—the inside looked nothing like the outside. Huge paintings commanded the walls that surrounded rather strict but beautiful midcentury furniture, offset by sumptuous rugs in every color. Even the fireplace had been modernized with black slate.
Robin walked right into the middle of the living room and flopped on the rug. Paolo crossed into the open kitchen, and a pop followed. He emerged with two glasses of champagne and handed one to Robin, as he kicked off his shoes and folded cross-legged to the floor.
Silence. He could practically hear bubbles popping in the champagne.
Robin stared around. “Nice inside.”
“Thanks.” He waved around. “I want to find a house that looks like this.”
“Jesus, how about anyplace in Southern California but here? What the hell are you doing in a pretentious Mediterranean townhouse?”
Paolo gave Robin a direct stare. “Interesting how you know that. Joseph loves this place—except for the art.”
“Joseph’s an idiot, but I guess that answers my question.”
Paolo nodded. “So when can you go house hunting with me?”
“What?”
“You know Laguna better than me.”
“That’s arguable, I guess.” He sighed softly. Robin McMillan. Interior design consultant. “I guess I can make time. I no longer have to paint a huge-ass mural, as you may recall. Besides, I can’t leave you in this monument to bad taste.”
“How about tomorrow afternoon? I’ll take off from the office.”
Robin cocked his head. “You’re serious?”
“Totally.”
“Okay.” He sipped his champagne. “So whose time are we on here?”
Paolo shrugged. “Yours, I think.”
He spit the words. “Shit, Paolo, why should I believe you when you lie to everyone, most of all yourself?”
His dark brows lowered over the exotic eyes. “Because as you so aptly observed, I have nothing to gain from you, except—you know.”
“I don’t know.”
He threw his hands up. “To be together. Boyfriends. Shit, I hate that word, but you know what I mean. Not fucking anybody else. Having fun. Loving.” On that last word, his gaze dove for the rug.
Pulse throbbed in Robin’s throat. “Seriously? You’ll suffer the slings and arrows of having a freak like me as a boyfriend?”
“Yeah. I fought it.”
Well, that kind of hurt, but it was true.
“I tried to stay a phony, using, social-climbing asshole, but I found out being with you is honest for me.”
“Why? I mean, I get the whole ‘being true’ crap, but I hate to point this out. You’re rich—”
“—ish.”
“Rich compared to me. Gorgeous, successful, talented, respected. You can have a lot of guys and still not be compromising. Why would you want me?”
“When I first met you, I realized we were a lot alike. I even told Bobby that. But then it scared me. I didn’t like myself, so I didn’t like you. But then you pretended to be Bobby.” He held up a hand. “I know, I was letting you kid me. But it gave me the space to see the good. Gradually I figured out that being like you was a pretty damned great thing.”
“So you want to be with me because, why? I make you like yourself?”
“Isn’t that a good reason?”
Robin held Paolo’s gaze for one beat. Two. “About as good as I can imagine.” Hell, that was true. Nobody except maybe Bobby thought being with Robin made them better. “But I’m no picnic.”
; “Shit, who knows that better than me—except maybe your brother?” He slugged back his champagne. “And of course, I’m twice as bad.”
“Now you’re just bragging.”
Paolo laughed. He looked up at Robin and laughed some more, until he rolled back on the carpet and held his belly.
Gorgeous. Fucking perfection, from the lazily cut black hair to the long narrow feet. He went to a lot of effort to come tell me he wants me. Am I seriously going to pass this up?
Okay, Paolo Lind could be hurt waiting to happen. Shit, hurt defined his life.
Robin leaped on Paolo and pressed him into the carpet.
“Well, hello there. I’m scared to move for fear you’ll change your mind.”
Robin frowned.
“What?”
“I realize we’ve never cleared up an essential point if we are going to have a relationship of some kind.”
Paolo sucked in a breath like he was steeling himself. “What’s the question?”
“Who’s going to bottom?”
He grinned. “Simple. Me.”
Robin stared. “You’re shitting me?”
“Nope. I’m a bottom by preference—always have been, although I seldom exercise that choice.” He cocked that half smile. “Bad for the image.”
“But you’d bottom for me?”
“Baby, I’m counting on it. That’s one of the reasons you turn me on. The first time I met you, across that damned conference room table with you all goth and sexy, I went home and jerked off, picturing you buried in my ass. No matter how I tried, I never got that idea out of my mind.”
“I’m your fairy godfather, here to make your dreams come true.” Robin waved his arms above Paolo.
Paolo sat up suddenly and grabbed Robin’s arms. “Remember how you didn’t want to be my fuck buddy?”
Robin nodded.
“Well, I don’t want to be yours. If you want to fuck me now, you’re mine in the morning.”
A very embarrassing flush of heat filled Robin’s eyes. Stop it, stupid. “I can do that.”
Paolo kissed his cheeks. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m entering my bleu period.” He sucked back the tears and showed some teeth.