by Nora Roberts
With a nod, Seth walked around the puddle and got a Pepsi out of the fridge. “If you kicked his ass, how come you’re bleeding?”
“Maybe I like to bleed.” He finished mopping up while the boy stood watching him. “What’s your problem?” Cam demanded.
“I got no problem.”
Cam shoved the bucket aside with his foot. The least Phillip could do was empty it somewhere. He went to the sink and bad-temperedly picked glass out of his arm. Then he got out the whiskey, righted a chair, and sat down with the bottle and a glass.
He saw Seth’s eyes slide over the bottle and away. Deliberately Cam poured two fingers of Johnnie Walker into a glass. “Not everybody who drinks gets drunk,” he said. “Not everybody who gets drunk—as I may decide to do—knocks kids around.”
“Don’t know why anybody drinks that shit anyway.”
Cam knocked back the whiskey. “Because we’re weak, and stupid, and it feels good at the time.”
“Are you going to Australia?”
Cam poured another shot. “Doesn’t look like it.”
“I don’t care if you go. I don’t care where the hell you go.” The underlying fury in the boy’s voice surprised them both. Flushing, Seth turned and raced out the door.
Well, hell, Cam thought and shoved the whiskey aside. He pushed away from the table and hit the door as Seth streaked across the yard to the woods.
“Hold it!” When that didn’t slow the boy down, Cam put some mean into it. “Goddamn it, I said hold it!”
This time Seth skidded to a halt. When he turned around, they stared at each other across the expanse of grass, temper and nerves vibrating from them in all but visible waves.
“Get your butt back over here. Now.”
He came, fists clenched, chin jutting out. They both knew he had nowhere to run. “I don’t need you.”
“Oh, the hell you don’t. I ought to kick your ass for being stupid. Everybody says you’ve got some genius brain in there, but if you ask me you’re dumb as dirt. Now sit down. There,” he added, jabbing a finger at the steps. “And if you don’t do what I tell you when I tell you, I might just kick your ass after all.”
“You don’t scare me,” Seth said, but he sat.
“I scare you white, and that gives me the hammer.” Cam sat as well, watched the puppy come crawling toward them on his belly. And I scare little dogs too, he thought in disgust. “I’m not going anywhere,” he began.
“I said I don’t care.”
“Fine, but I’m telling you anyway. I figured I would, once everything settled down. I told myself I would. I guess I needed to. Never figured on coming back here to stay.”
“Then why don’t you go?”
Cam gave him a halfhearted boot on the top of his head with the heel of one hand. “Why don’t you shut up until I say what I have to say?”
The painless smack and impatient order were more comforting to Seth than a thousand promises.
“I’ve been coming to the fact that I’ve been running long enough. I liked what I was doing while I was doing it, but I guess I’m pretty well finished with it. It looks like I’ve got a place here, and a business here, maybe a woman here,” he murmured, thinking of Anna.
“So you’re staying to work and poke at a girl.”
“Those are damn good reasons for hanging in one place. Then there’s you.” Cam leaned back on the upper steps, bracing with his elbows. “I can’t say I cared much for you when I first came back. There’s that crappy attitude of yours, and you’re ugly, but you kind of grow on a guy.”
Immensely cheered, Seth snickered. “You’re uglier.”
“I’m bigger, I’m entitled. So I guess I’ll hang around to see if you get any prettier as time goes on.”
“I didn’t really want you to go,” Seth said under his breath after a long moment. It was the closest he could get to speaking his heart.
“I know.” Cam sighed. “Now that we’ve got that settled, we’ve got this other thing. Nothing to worry about, it’s just some legal bullshit. Phil and the lawyer’ll handle most of it, but there might be some talk. You shouldn’t pay any attention to it if you hear it.”
“What kind of talk?”
“Some people—some idiots—think Dad aimed for that pole. Killed himself.”
“Yeah, and now this asshole from the insurance company’s asking questions.”
Cam hissed out a breath. He knew he should probably tell the kid not to call adults assholes, but there were bigger issues here. “You knew that?”
“Sure, it goes around. He talked to Danny and Will’s mother. Danny said she gave him an earful. She didn’t like some guy coming around asking questions about Ray. That butthead Chuck up at the Dairy Queen told the detective guy that Ray was screwing around with his students, then had a crisis of conscience and killed himself.”
“Crisis of conscience.” Jesus, where did the kid come up with this stuff? “Chuck Kimball? He always was a butthead. Word is he got caught cheating on a lit exam and got booted out of college. And it seems to me Phillip beat the crap out of him once. Can’t remember why, though.”
“He’s got a face like a carp.”
Cam laughed. “Yeah, I guess he does. Dad—Ray—never touched a student, Seth.”
“He was square with me.” And that counted for everything. “My mother . . .”
“Go ahead,” Cam prompted.
“She told me he was my father. But another time she said this other guy was, and once when she was really loaded she said my old man was some guy named Keith Richards.”
Cam couldn’t help it, the laugh just popped out. “Jesus, now she’s hitting on the Stones?”
“Who?”
“I’ll see to your music education later.”
“I don’t know if Ray was my father.” Seth looked up. “She’s a liar, so I don’t go with anything she said, but he took me. I know he gave her money, a lot of it. I don’t know if he’d have told me if he was. He said there were things we had to talk about, but he had stuff to work out first. I know you don’t want him to be.”
It couldn’t matter, Cam realized. Not anymore. “Do you want him to be?”
“He was decent,” the boy said so simply that Cam draped an arm around his shoulders. And Seth leaned against him.
“Yeah, he was.”
EVERYTHING HAD CHANGED. Everything was different. And he was desperate to tell her. Cam knew his life had turned on its axis yet again. And somehow he’d ended up exactly where he needed to be.
The only thing missing was Anna.
He took a chance and drove to her apartment. It was Saturday night, he thought. She was due back at work on Monday. She was a practical woman and would want to take Sunday to catch up, sort her laundry, answer her mail. Whatever.
If she wasn’t home, he was going to by God sit on her doorstep until she got there.
But when she answered his knock and stood there looking so fresh, so gorgeous, he was caught off balance.
Anna, on the other hand, had prepared for this meeting all week. She knew exactly how she would handle it. “Cam, this is a surprise. You just caught me.”
“Caught you?” he said stupidly.
“Yes, but I’ve got a few minutes. Would you like to come in?”
“Yeah, I—where the hell have you been?”
She lifted her brows. “Excuse me?”
“You took off, out of the blue.”
“I wouldn’t say that. I arranged leave from work, checked in with my neighbors, had my plants watered while I was gone. I was hardly abducted by aliens, I simply took a few days of personal time. Do you want some coffee?”
“No.” Okay, he thought, she was going to keep playing it cool. He could do that. “I want to talk to you.”
“That’s good, because I want to talk to you, too. How’s Seth?”
“He’s fine. Really. We got a lot of things ironed out. Just today—”
“What have you done to your arm?”
Impatient, he gl
anced down at the raw nicks and scrapes. “Nothing. It’s nothing. Listen, Anna—”
“Why don’t you sit down? I’d really like to apologize if I was hard on you last weekend.”
“Apologize?” Well, that was more like it. Willing to be forgiving, he sat on the sofa. “Why don’t we just forget it? I’ve got a lot to tell you.”
“I’d really like to clear this up.” Smiling pleasantly, she sat across from him. “I suppose we were both in a difficult position. A great deal of that was my fault. Becoming involved with you was a calculated risk. But I was attracted and didn’t weigh the potential problems as carefully as I should have. Obviously something like last weekend’s disagreement was bound to happen. And as we both have Seth’s interests at heart, and will continue to, I would hate for us to be at odds.”
“Good, then we won’t.” He reached for her hand, but she evaded his gesture and merely patted his.
“Now that that’s settled, you really have to excuse me. I hate to rush you along, Cam, but I have a date.”
“A what?”
“A date.” She glanced at the watch on her wrist. “Shortly, as it happens, and I have to change.”
Very slowly he got to his feet. “You have a date? Tonight? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“What it generally does.” She blinked twice, as if confused, then let her eyes fill with apology. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we both understood that we’d ended the . . . well, the more personal aspect of our relationship. I assumed it was clear that it wasn’t working out for either of us.”
It felt as though someone had blown past his guard and rammed an iron fist into his solar plexus. “Look, if you’re still pissed off—”
“Do I look pissed off?” she asked coolly.
“No.” He stared at her, shaking his head while his stomach did a quick pitch and roll. “No, you don’t. You’re dumping me.”
“Don’t be melodramatic. We’re simply ending an affair that both of us entered freely and without promises or expectations. It was good while it lasted, really good. I’d hate to spoil that. Now as far as our professional relationship goes, I’ve told you that I’ll do all I can to support your permanent guardianship of Seth. However, I do expect you to be more forthcoming with information from now on. I’ll also be happy to consult with you or advise you on any area of that guardianship. You and your brothers are doing a marvelous job with him.”
He waited, certain there would be more. “That’s it?”
“I can’t think of anything else—and I am a little pressed for time.”
“You’re pressed for time.” She’d just stabbed him dead center of the heart, and she was pressed for time. “That’s too damn bad, because I’m not finished.”
“I’m sorry if your ego’s bruised.”
“Yeah, my ego’s bruised. I got a lot of bruises right now. How the hell can you stand there and brush me off after what we had together?”
“We had great sex. I’m not denying it. We’re just not going to have it any longer.”
“Sex?” He grabbed her arms and shook her, and had the small satisfaction of seeing a flash of anger heat through the chill in her eyes. “That’s all it was for you?”
“That’s what it was for both of us.” It wasn’t going the way she’d planned. She’d expected him to be angry and storm out. Or to be relieved that she’d backed away first and walk away whistling. But he wasn’t supposed to confront her like this. “Let go of me.”
“The hell I will. I’ve been half crazy for you to get back. You turned my life upside down, and I’ll be damned if you’ll just stroll away because you’re through with me.”
“We’re through with each other. I don’t want you anymore, and it’s your bad luck I said it first. Now take your hands off me.”
He released her as if her skin had burned his palms. There’d been a hitch in her voice, a suspicious one. “What makes you think I’d have said it at all?”
“We don’t want the same things. We were going nowhere, and I’m not going to keep heading there, no matter how I feel about you.”
“How do you feel about me?”
“Tired of you!” she shouted. “Tired of me, tired of us. Sick and tired of telling myself fun and games could be enough. Well, it’s not. Not nearly, and I want you out.”
He felt the temper and panic that had gripped him ease back into delight. “You’re in love with me, aren’t you?”
He’d never seen a woman go from simmer to boil so fast. And seeing it, he wondered why it had taken him so long to realize he adored her. She whirled, grabbed a lamp, and hurled it.
He gave her credit for aim and gave thanks that he was light on his feet, as the base whistled by his head before it crashed into the wall.
“You arrogant, conceited, cold-blooded son of a bitch.” She grabbed a vase now, a new one she’d bought on the way home to cheer herself up. She let it fly.
“Jesus, Anna.” It was admiration, pure and simple, that burst through him as he was forced to catch the vase before it smashed into his face. “You must be nuts about me.”
“I despise you.” She looked frantically for something else to throw at him and snagged a bowl of fruit off the kitchen counter. The fruit went first. Apples. “Loathe you.” Pears. “Hate you.” Bananas. “I can’t believe I ever let you touch me.” Then the bowl. But she was more clever this time, feinted first, then heaved in the direction of his dodge.
The stoneware caught him just above the ear and had stars spinning in front of his eyes.
“Okay, game over.” He made a dive for her, caught her around the waist. His already abused body suffered from kicks and punches, but he hauled her to the couch and held her down. “Get ahold of yourself before you kill me.”
“I want to kill you,” she said between gritted teeth.
“Believe me, I get the picture.”
“You don’t get anything.” She bucked under him and sent his system into a tangled mess of lust and laughter. Sensing both, she reared up and bit him, hard.
“Ouch. Goddamn it. Okay, that’s it.” He dragged her up and threw her over his shoulder. “You still packed? Tells me she’s got a damn date. Like hell she does. Tells me we’re finished. What bullshit.” He marched her into the bedroom, saw her bag on the bed, and grabbed it.
“What are you doing? Put me down. Put that down.”
“I’m not letting loose of either until we’re in Vegas.”
“Vegas? Las Vegas?” She thudded both fists on his back. “I’m not going anywhere with you, much less Vegas.”
“That’s exactly where we’re going. It’s the quickest place to get married, and I’m in a hurry.”
“And how the hell do you expect to get me on a plane when I’m screaming my lungs out? I’ll have you in jail in five minutes flat.”
At his wits’ end because she was inflicting considerable damage, he dumped her at the front door and held her arms. “We’re getting married, and that’s the end of it.”
“You can just—” Her body sagged, and her head reeled. “Married?” The word finally pierced her temper. “You don’t want to get married.”
“Believe me, I’ve been rethinking the idea since you beaned me with the fruit bowl. Now, are you going to come along reasonably, or do I have to sedate you?”
“Please let me go.”
“Anna.” He lowered his brow to hers. “Don’t ask me to do that, because I don’t think I can live without you. Take a chance, roll the dice. Come with me.”
“You’re angry and you’re hurt,” she said shakily. “And you think rushing off to Vegas to have some wild, plastic-coated instant marriage is going to fix everything.”
He framed her face, gently now. Tears were shimmering in her eyes, and he knew he’d be on his knees if she let them spill over. “You can’t tell me you don’t love me. I won’t believe you.”
“Oh, I’m in love with you, Cam, but I’ll survive it. There are things I need. I had to be honest w
ith myself and admit that. You broke my heart.”
“I know.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “I know I did. I was shortsighted, I was selfish, I was stupid. And damn it, I was scared. Of me, of you, of everything that was going on around me. I messed it up, and now you don’t want to give me another chance.”
“It’s not a matter of chances. It’s a matter of being practical enough to admit that we want different things.”
“I finally figured out today what it is I want. Tell me what you want.”
“I want a home.”
He had one for her, he thought.
“I want marriage.”
Hadn’t he just asked her?
“I want children.”
“How many?”
Her tears dried up, and she shoved at him. “It isn’t a joke.”
“I’m not joking. I was thinking two with an option for three.” His mouth quirked at the look of blank-eyed shock on her face. “There, now you’re getting scared because you’re beginning to realize I’m serious.”
“You—you’re going back to Rome, or wherever, as soon as you can.”
“We can go to Rome, or wherever, on our honeymoon. We’re not taking the kid. I draw the line there. I might like to get in a couple of races from time to time. Just to keep my hand in. But basically I’m in the boat building business. Of course, it might go belly-up. Then you’d be stuck with a househusband who really hates housework.”
She wanted to press her fingers to her temples, but he still had her by the arms. “I can’t think.”
“Good. Just listen. You cut a hole in me when you left, Anna. I wouldn’t admit it, but it was there. Big and empty.”
He rested his brow on hers for a moment. “You know what I did today? I worked on building a boat. And it felt good. I came home, the only home I’ve ever had, and it felt right. Had a family meeting and decided that we’d take on the insurance company and do what’s right for our father. By the way, I’ve been talking to him.”
She couldn’t stop staring at him, even though her head was reeling. “What? Who?”
“My father. Had some conversations with him—three of them—since he died. He looks good.”
Her breath was clogged right at the base of her throat. “Cam.”