by Nora Roberts
“Would you like to see the bills?” Dru said dryly and made her laugh.
“Maybe later. I’d rather have wine. Oh, those are cookies in the bag. Mom baked some yesterday. Double chocolate chip. Awesome. Kitchen this way?”
“Yes.” Dru sighed, then followed, decided to try to go with the flow.
“Nancy Neat, aren’t you?” Aubrey said after one glance, then opened the back door. “Man, this is great! It’s like your own little island. Do you ever get spooked out here all alone, city girl?”
“No. I thought I might,” Dru said as she set the bag on the counter and got out a bottle of Pinot Grigio. “But I don’t. I like listening to the water, and the birds and the wind. I like being here. I don’t want the city. And I realized the first morning I woke up here, in the quiet, with the sun coming in the windows, I never did. Other people wanted it for me.”
She poured the wine. “Do you want to sit out on the patio?”
“That’d be good. I’ll bring the cookies.”
So they had tart white wine and fat-filled cookies while the sun slid slowly down behind the trees.
“Oh.” Aubrey swallowed a mouthful. “I should tell you, Seth and I made a pact not to tell anybody about the big experiment.”
“The . . . oh.”
“I don’t figure you count, since it was your idea. Sort of. But since I spilled it, I’ve either got to kill you, or you have to swear not to tell anybody.”
“Does this oath involve my blood in any way?”
“I usually do it with spit.”
Dru thought about it for about two seconds. “I’d rather not involve any bodily fluids. Is my word good enough?”
“Yeah.” Aubrey picked up another cookie. “People like you keep their word.”
“People like me?”
“Yeah. Breeding,” she said with a broad wave of a hand. “You’re a fucking purebred.”
“I’ll assume that’s a compliment of some sort.”
“Sure. You’ve got this ‘I’m much too cultured and well-bred to make an issue of it’ air. You always look perfect. I admire that even when I hate it. It’s not like you’re all fussy and girly and stuff. You just always look good.”
Aubrey stopped, mouth full. Then swallowed fast. “Oh hey, listen, I’m not coming on to you or anything. I like guys.”
“Oh, I see. Then I suppose there’s no point in us having a big experiment of our own.” After two long beats, Dru’s laughter burst out. She had to lean back, hold her sides as they ached from the force of it. “Your face. Priceless. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen you speechless.”
“That was good.” Nodding approval, Aubrey picked up her wine. “That was damn good. I might just like you after all. So, are you going to talk Seth out of the watercolor portrait when he’s finished?”
“I don’t know.” Would he finish it? she wondered. Or was he too angry with her to see her as he had? No, he’d finish, she decided. The artist would have no choice.
“If it were me, I’d wheedle it out of him.”
“I think I’d feel strange having a painting of myself hanging on the wall. Besides, I haven’t seen it. He was too angry to let me.”
“Yeah, he gets all tight-assed when he’s mad. Okay, here’s a tip.” Watching Dru, Aubrey rested her elbows on the table. “You don’t want to cry. What you want to do is bravely battle back tears. You know, so your eyes get all shiny and wet and your lip quivers a little. Hold on.”
She leaned back again, closed her eyes, took a couple of deep breaths. Then she opened them again, stared at Dru with a kind of wide-eyed, pitiful expression as tears swam into her eyes.
“My God,” Dru murmured in admiration. “That’s really good. In fact, it’s brilliant.”
“Tell me.” Aubrey sniffled. “You can let one spill over if you have to, but that’s it.” A single tear dripped down her cheek. Then she giggled. “You start to flood, and he’s all about patting your head and stuffing a paint rag or whatever in your hand before he goes into full retreat. Then you’ve lost him. But you give him the shimmery-eyes, quivery-lip deal, and he’ll do anything. It destroys him.”
“How did you learn to do that?”
“Hey, I work with guys.” Aubrey swiped the single tear off her cheek. “You develop your weapons. You can bite the tip of your tongue to get started if you have to. Me, I can turn it on and off. Speaking of guys, why don’t you tell me about that creep you were engaged to, then we can trash him.”
“Jonah? Assistant communications director. West Wing staff, a man with the president’s ear. Brilliant mind, smooth style, gorgeous face and a body made for Armani.”
“This isn’t making me hate him. Get to the dirt.”
“It’s not far under the surface. Washington social circles—my grandfather remains a strong force in Washington, and my family is influential. Socially active. We met at a cocktail party, and things moved from there. Smoothly and at a reasonable pace. We enjoyed each other, and we liked each other. Had interests and people and philosophies in common. Then, I thought we loved each other.”
It was never anger she felt when she thought of that. But sadness.
“Maybe we did. We became lovers—”
“How was he? In the sack?”
Dru hesitated, then poured more wine. She didn’t discuss this sort of thing. Then again, she realized, she’d never had anyone who made her feel able to discuss this sort of thing.
Aubrey made it seem easy.
“What the hell. He was good. I thought we were good—but then again, lovers fall into the same category as friends with me. I don’t make them easily.”
“That’d make it hurt more when it gets messed up,” Aubrey offered.
“Yeah, I guess it does. But I thought Jonah and I were good together, in bed and out of it. I was ready when he asked me to marry him. We’d been moving in that direction, and I was prepared. I’d thought it through.”
Curious now, Aubrey tilted her head. “If you had to think it through, maybe you weren’t in love with him.”
“Maybe not.” Dru looked away, watched the fluttering flight of a butterfly, listened to the quiet hum of a boat motor as someone cruised by on the river. “But I need to think things through. The bigger the step, the longer and more carefully I think. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be married. My parents’ marriage—well, it’s not like your parents’ marriage. But I felt, with Jonah, it would be different. We never quarreled.”
“Never?” Pure shock covered Aubrey’s face. “You never had a good shouting fight?”
“No.” She smiled a little now as she realized how dull that would seem to anyone named Quinn. “When we disagreed, we discussed.”
“Oh yeah, that’s how we handle things in my family. We discuss our disagreements. We just do it at the top of our lungs. So you and this guy were good in bed, you didn’t fight and you had a lot in common. What happened?”
“We got engaged, we had a round of parties and began making plans for a wedding set for the following summer. July because that was most convenient for our schedules. He was busy with work, and I was busy letting my mother drag me around to bridal shows. We house-hunted—Jonah and me, my mother and me, my father and me.”
“That’s a lot of hunting.”
“You have no idea. Then one night, we were at his apartment. We went to bed. While we were making love, I kept feeling something scrape at the small of my back. Eventually I had to stop. It was funny, really, I made a joke out of it. Then we turned on the lights and I went over the sheets. And came up with another woman’s earring.”
“Oh.” Aubrey’s face filled with sympathy. “Ouch.”
“I even recognized it. I’d seen her wearing them at some event or other. I’d admired them, commented on them. Which is probably why she made sure to leave it there, where I’d find it at the worst possible moment.”
“Bitch.”
“Oh yes.” Dru lifted her glass in a half toast. “Oh yes indeed. But she lov
ed him, and that was a discreet and sure-fire way to get me out of the picture.”
“No excuses.” Aubrey wagged a finger. “She was trespassing on another woman’s man, even if the man wasn’t worth jack shit. She was as sneaky as he was, and just as guilty.”
“You’re right. No excuses. They deserve each other.”
“Damn straight. So, did you tie his dick in a knot? What?”
Dru let out a long sigh. “God, I wish I could be you. I wish I could, even for one single day. No, I got up, and I got dressed, while he started making excuses. He loved me. This other thing was just physical, it didn’t mean anything.”
“Christ.” Disgust was ripe in her voice. “Can’t they ever come up with something original?”
“Not in my experience.” The instant, unqualified sympathy and support eased some of the rawness she still carried over it all. “He had needs, sexual needs that I was just too restrained to meet. He’d just wanted to get it out of his system before settling down. Basically, he said that if I’d been hotter, more responsive or creative in bed, he wouldn’t have had to look elsewhere for that kind of satisfaction.”
“And yet he lives,” Aubrey murmured. “You let him turn the thing around on you instead of cutting off his balls and hanging them on his ears.”
“I wasn’t a complete doormat,” Dru objected, and told her about the systematic destruction of Jonah’s prized possessions.
“Nuked his CDs. That’s a good one. I feel better now. Just as a suggestion, instead of cutting up his cashmere coat? I’d have filled the pockets with, oh, I don’t know, say a nice mixture of raw eggs, motor oil, a little flour to thicken it up, maybe a hint of garlic. All easily accessed household items. Then, I’d’ve folded it up really neat, with the pockets to the inside. Wouldn’t he have been surprised when he pulled it out of the box?”
“I’ll keep that in mind, should the occasion ever come up again.”
“Okay. But I really like the CDs, and the bit with the shoes. If the guy was anything like Phil about his shoes, that one really hurt. What do you say we take a walk, work off some of these cookies? Then we can order some Chinese.”
It wasn’t, Dru realized, so hard to make a friend after all. “That sounds terrific.”
THE diner was lit like a runway, and business wasn’t exactly booming. Seth sat on the sun-faded red vinyl of the booth in the very back. Gloria wasn’t there. She would be late.
She always came late. It was, he knew, just another way for her to show she had the upper hand.
He ordered coffee, knowing he wouldn’t drink it. But he needed the prop. The ten thousand in cash was in an old canvas bag on the seat beside him.
There was a man with shoulders wide as Montana sitting on a stool at the counter. His neck was red from the sun, and his hair shaved so sharp and close it looked as if it could slice bread. He was wearing jeans, and the tin of tobacco he must have carried habitually in his pocket had worn a white circle in the fading denim.
He ate apple pie à la mode with the concentration of a surgeon performing a tricky operation.
The Waylon Jennings tune crooning out of a corner juke suited him right down to the ground.
Behind the counter, the waitress wore candy pink with her name stitched in white over the right breast. She picked up a pot of coffee from the warmer, breezed up to the pie eater, and stood, hip cocked, as she topped off his cup.
Seth’s fingers itched for his sketch pad.
Instead he drew in his head to pass the time. The counter scene—done in bright, primary colors. And the couple midway down the line of booths who looked as if they’d been traveling all day and were now worn to nubs. They ate without conversation. But at one point the woman passed the man the salt, and he gave her hand a quick squeeze.
He’d call it Roadside, he thought. Or maybe Off Route 13. It relaxed him considerably to pull it all together in his mind.
Then Gloria walked in, and the painting faded away.
She’d gone beyond thin. He could see the sharp bones pressing against the skin at the sides of her throat, the whip-edge blades of her hips jutting against the tight red pants. She wore open-toed, backless heels that flipped and clicked against her feet and the aged linoleum.
Her hair was bleached a blond that was nearly white, cut short and spiky, and only accented how thin her face had become. The lines had dug deep around her mouth, around her eyes. The makeup she’d applied couldn’t hide them.
He imagined that upset and infuriated her when she looked in the mirror.
She hadn’t yet hit fifty, he calculated, but looked as though she’d been dragged face first over it some time before.
She slid in across from him. He caught a drift of her perfume—something strong and floral. It either hid the smell of whiskey, or she’d held off on her drinking before the meeting.
“Your hair was longer last time,” she said, then shifted to flash her teeth at the waitress. “What kind of pie you got tonight?”
“Apple, cherry, lemon meringue.”
“I’ll have a slice of cherry, with vanilla ice cream. How about you, Seth honey?”
Her voice, just her voice, set his teeth on edge. “No.”
“Suit yourself. You got any chocolate sauce?” she asked the waitress.
“Sure. You want that, too?”
“You just dump it over the ice cream. I’ll have coffee, too. Well now.” She leaned back, slung one arm over the back of the booth. Skinny as she was, he noted, the skin there was starting to sag. “I figured you’d stay over in Europe, keep playing with the Italians. Guess you got homesick. And how are all the happy Quinns these days? How’s my dear sister, Sybill?”
Seth lifted the bag from the seat beside him, watched her focus in on it as he laid it on the tabletop. But when she reached out, he closed his fist around it.
“You take it, and you go. You make a move toward anyone in my family, you’ll pay. You’ll pay a hell of a lot more than what’s in this bag.”
“That’s a hell of a way to talk to your mother.”
His tone never changed. “You’re not my mother. You never were.”
“Carried you around inside me for nine months, didn’t I? I brought you into the world. You owe me.”
He unzipped the bag, tilted it so she could see the contents. The satisfaction on her face dragged at his belly. “There’s your payment. You stay away from me and mine.”
“You and yours, you and yours. Like you got something with those assholes I give two shits about. Think you’re a big shot now, don’t you? Think you’re something special. You’re nothing.”
Her voice rose enough to have the man at the counter take notice and the waitress give them a wary look. Seth rose, took ten dollars out of his wallet and tossed it on the table.
“Maybe I am, but I’m still better than you.”
Her hand curled into a claw, but she fisted it, laid it on the table as he walked out. She snatched the bag, tucked it against her hip on the seat.
Down payment, she mused. Enough to tide her over for a few weeks while she worked out the rest.
She wasn’t done with Seth. Not by a long shot.
ELEVEN
HE BURROWED IN his studio. He used painting as an escape, an excuse, and as a channel for his frustration.
He knew his family was worried about him. He’d barely seen them, or anyone else for that matter, for three days. He hadn’t been able to go back to them after leaving Gloria.
He wouldn’t take any part of her into their homes, their lives. She was the monkey on his back, and he’d do whatever it took to stop her from leaping onto theirs.
Money was a small price to pay to get rid of her. She’d be back. She always came back. But if ten thousand bought a space of peace, it was a bargain.
So, he’d work through his anger until he found that peace.
He’d hauled the big canvas up from storage, and he’d painted what he felt. The messy mix of emotions and images took shape and color
and, as they did, emptied out of him.
He ate when he was hungry, slept when his vision blurred. And painted as if his life depended on it.
That’s what Dru thought as she stood in the doorway. It was a battle between life and death, between sanity and despair waged with a brush.
He had one in his hand, stabbed at the canvas, sliced at it. Another was clamped between his teeth like a weapon in reserve. Music boomed, a violent guitar riff that was like a battle cry. Paint was splattered on his shirt, his jeans, his shoes. Her floor.
A kind of blood loss, she thought and gripped the vase she carried.
He hadn’t heard her knock over the blasting music, but looking at him now, she realized he wouldn’t have heard her if the room had been silent and she’d screamed his name.
He wasn’t in the room. He was in the painting.
She told herself to back up and close the door, that she was trespassing on his privacy and his work. But she couldn’t.
To see him like this was compelling, intimate, oddly erotic. He seduced her with a passion that wasn’t simply beyond anything she understood, but was as distant from her world as the moon.
So she watched as he switched one brush for the other, as he swiped and swirled at the paint, then whipped at the canvas. Bold, almost vicious strokes, then delicate ones that seemed to hold a kind of contained fury.
Despite the breeze spilling in through the windows, she could see the dark line of sweat riding up the center back of his shirt, the damp gleam on the flesh of his arms and throat.
This was labor, she thought, and not all for love.
He’d told her he’d never suffered for art, but he’d been wrong, Dru realized. Anything that consumed so utterly came with pain.
When he stepped back from the canvas, she thought he stared at it as if it had appeared out of thin air. The hand that held the brush fell to his side. He took the one he’d clamped between his teeth, set it aside. Then rubbed, almost absently, at the muscles of his right arm, flexed his fingers.
She started to ease back now, but he turned, peered at her like a man coming out of a trance. He appeared to be exhausted, a little shell-shocked and painfully vulnerable.