by Elle Spencer
Lacey didn’t move.
“Not for the cameras, not for any other reason than I just want…your hand,” Quinn said.
Lacey stared at the hand. She wanted to take it, but her body was already so confused. She was turned on because Quinn looked so amazing in those skinny jeans and heels. Her top was unbuttoned just enough to show off the cute little freckle on her left breast that always made Lacey smile when she had the pleasure of sneaking a peek at it.
She was frustrated because she wanted to kiss Quinn and never stop. And she was angry because none of this was real. Not one second of it. But the hand – those slender fingers – were waiting for her.
“Dammit, you idiot!” Quinn grabbed the steering wheel as she slammed on the brakes, trying to avoid hitting the driver that had just cut her off.
And the moment was gone. Quinn’s hand was no longer waiting for her. Lacey felt the loss.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
They pulled up to the valet. Lacey glanced at Quinn and then lowered her gaze. “You look beautiful too. I don’t think I’ve said it out loud yet. And even though it’s not real, I feel pretty lucky to be your date tonight.”
Quinn smiled. “I’m the lucky one. Stay right where you are.” She got out and met Lacey on the other side, holding out her hand. It was the first time the roles had been reversed. Usually it was Lacey helping Quinn out of the car. “Shall we?”
Lacey’s stomach was in knots as she walked into the restaurant holding Quinn’s hand. This was the big moment – the reason for everything they’d done so far. She needed to get back on task and play the part. Smile for all the pretty people and whatever cameras happened to lock on them. She took a deep breath and did just that.
It took them several minutes just to get to their table as industry people stood up from their tables and greeted Quinn. She didn’t introduce Lacey as her girlfriend, simply as Lacey Matthews. Everyone already knew who she was anyway, from being on the show, and because they made it their job to know. Besides, Quinn’s body language said far more than her words. After every introduction, her hand made its way back to Lacey’s body in one way or another, either loosely holding her hand, or touching her back or caressing her arm, setting Lacey’s body on fire with every touch.
It all felt very real to her. Too real. And too sad that it wasn’t. But she hid her anguish behind a genuine smile every time their eyes met. And like any good actor would do, she played off of her co-star’s improvisations, like when Quinn said to a producer, “She’s getting offers left and right but I’m gonna fight like hell to keep her on my show.”
Offers left and right? The only offer Lacey had received was from her old soap, but she quickly recovered from the surprise comment and leaned in close to the man. “And I always say that you gotta dance with the one that brung ya.”
He laughed and gestured to Lacey with his thumb. “She’s a keeper, Quinn.”
They were given a table on the far side of the restaurant. Quinn sat down and immediately started apologizing. “So sorry about that. You must be starving.” The waiter came up to the table and Quinn took over. “We’ll have a half-dozen oysters. Kumamoto, if you have them. And if we could get those right away, that would be great. Oh, and your wine list. Oh, and some bread.”
Lacey noticed that Quinn’s hands were shaking. She leaned in and whispered, “You’re shaking. Take a breath.”
Quinn reached for her glass and noticed that her hands were indeed shaking. She took a sip of water, then clasped her hands together. “It must be the coffee.”
They both knew it wasn’t the coffee. “You’re doing great,” Lacey said, encouragingly. “They’re totally buying it.”
Quinn reached across the table for Lacey’s hand. “You do realize you won’t struggle to find work again. It makes me so happy that I can give that to you, after everything you’ve done for me.”
“Yeah, I’ll forever be Quinn Kincaid’s ex-girlfriend,” Lacey quipped. “No one can ever take that away from me.” Her eyes fell to their joined hands. She quickly looked away, fearing she’d start to tear up.
“That’s not what I meant. They’re all so impressed with what you’ve done on the show. Didn’t you hear a thing they said?”
A bread basket was set on the table. Lacey let go of Quinn’s hand and buttered a roll while Quinn chose a bottle of red. She’d push her feelings aside. They could be dealt with later, when she was alone in the guesthouse, she told herself. In the meantime, she really needed to eat something, so she stuffed a small piece of the roll in her mouth and smiled while she chewed.
Quinn returned the smile. “Can I make a prediction?”
“Only if you put money on it.” Lacey moaned in delight as the oysters were set on the table. “Come to mama.”
“Fine. I’ll bet you five grand that you get nominated for an Emmy next year.”
“Aww…honey, are you trying to get in my pants? Because there are easier ways that won’t cost you nearly as much money.” Lacey sucked an oyster into her mouth and moaned again.
“You’re already costing me a small fortune. And you’re right.” Quinn shrugged. “Talking about the Emmys is kind of a turn on.”
“So are these oysters.” Lacey picked up another shell. “Here, honey. You simply must taste one before I down them all.” Since they were putting on a show, Lacey felt comfortable using pet names. All part of the game, right?
Quinn took the offered oyster and dabbed a little bit of cocktail sauce on it. “Did you mean what you said back there, about dancing with the one that brought you?”
The question didn’t surprise Lacey. “You probably think I’d bolt given the chance, don’t you?” She didn’t wait for a reply. “I guess you don’t know me at all.”
“I wasn’t sure if you were just…”
“Acting?” Lacey washed the oysters down with a long sip of the wine that had just been poured. “That’s what you’re paying me for, right?”
***
Quinn tried to calm her nerves by drinking her glass of wine a little too quickly. She’d just walked through a restaurant full of industry people holding the hand of a beautiful woman. She’d just come out to the world, and that world was now coming at her a little too fast. She wanted time to absorb it all. She wanted time to enjoy the moment. She wanted to go home and sit with Lacey and talk about what it all meant.
She was just about to ask if it would be okay if they left after the oysters when Lacey’s eyes bugged out and she whispered, “Well, I’ll be goddamned.” She stood up and said, “Ginny Strong. How good to see you.” Quinn noticed that the tone in Lacey’s voice wasn’t at all sincere.
The wealthy producer took Lacey’s hands and kissed her cheek. “Lacey Matthews. You look stunning this evening.” She rested her hand on Lacey’s waist and turned to Quinn. “How are you, Quinn? You’re looking well.”
Just well? Not stunning? Quinn chastised herself for thinking that and then stood up. “I can give you a hug this time, Ginny. No cast in the way.”
Ginny accepted the hug and kissed Quinn’s cheek. “You really are looking great. How’s everything going with the rehab? Are you riding again?”
“I tried,” Quinn said, being fully honest. “It was too soon.”
“Ah. Well, I’ve been there. Take your time. You’ll get there.” Ginny glanced at the table and grinned at Lacey. “I see you got the oysters you’d been craving.”
Lacey nodded. “I did. Finally.”
“You should’ve called me. Did you lose my card?” Ginny reached into her very expensive looking black suit with the velvet collar and pulled out another business card. “I’m giving it to you again, and this time you must call me. We’re in development on a new series and I think you’d be a perfect fit for the lead.” She glanced at Quinn again, and then back to Lacey. “I have to say, ladies, that scene on Jordan’s Appeal?” She made an exploding gesture with her hands. “Hottest sex scene on television. And seriously, Lacey – call me.” She turned to
Quinn and kissed her cheek again. “I have to run, but let’s have lunch soon.”
Quinn nodded. “Yeah. Good to see you, Ginny.”
They both watched her leave and then sat down, neither of them saying a word. Quinn finally broke the silence. “You should call her,” she said, not sounding very convincing.
Lacey gripped the card between her fingers, staring at it. “You should call her. Set up that lunch date. After tonight, everyone will know you’re gay, right? Including your crush.”
“First of all, she’s not my…” Quinn stopped herself. The truth was, she’d always had a crush on Ginny Strong. She liked Ginny’s style, her swagger, the way her stylish suits hugged her in all the right places. She’d had fantasies about her. Their first date. Their first kiss. All very romantic fantasies. Ginny would’ve been her first call. Now, she wasn’t sure what she wanted. “And anyway, who cares? What happened to the player not being good enough for me?”
Lacey picked up another oyster. “Maybe I judged her prematurely. Far be it from me to keep you from what you want.”
Quinn stared at Lacey in confusion until the waiter arrived a few seconds later. He took away the empty oyster plate. Lacey had eaten five of the six and was now looking at Quinn rather sheepishly. “Sorry. I was hungry.”
“They were for you,” Quinn said, barely above a whisper. She took a sip of her wine and focused on the glass, turning the narrow stem between her fingers. The air around them felt thick and full of tension, and Quinn felt very vulnerable, like all of her fears and worries were hanging out there on her sleeve for the whole world to see.
The waiter interrupted them again. “Have you had a chance to look at the menu?”
Neither of them had. “I seem to have lost my appetite,” Quinn said, taking another large swallow of wine. It was strange, because the last time she’d seen Ginny, she’d lost her appetite then as well. What was it? Was it having Ginny and Lacey in the same room, breathing the same air that made her feel nauseous? Or was it just seeing Ginny? Did she really have that much of an impact on Quinn? It was a silly crush for god’s sake.
“Nonsense.” Lacey picked up the menu. “I’ll order for both of us.”
“Something easy on the stomach,” Quinn gently requested.
Lacey perused the menu. She pointed at some sort of nouveau mac n’ cheese. “We’ll have one of those and also, the soup of the day and a salad for me.”
“And more wine,” Quinn added, lifting her glass to the waiter.
Lacey looked at the business card sitting by her plate. “It was my dad who taught me that saying about dancing with the one who brung ya. When I got offers from other soaps, other networks, he told me that as long as Light of Day wanted me, I should be true to the character they’d created for me, that it would pay off in the long run.” She shook her head, remembering their conversations. “He was so upset when they fired me. I think he regretted his advice.” With one finger, she slid the card across the table. “You should call her.”
“Don’t,” Quinn interrupted. “Not tonight. Tonight we’re…” She turned away, feeling frustrated. On a fake date. God, it was all so confusing.
***
This would not do – this sadness that seemed to have overtaken Quinn. Lacey had to do something about it. “Okay, so we’re not talking about Ginny tonight.” Quinn’s expression didn’t change. “Or, anyone else. Look at me.” Quinn did, but quickly looked away. Lacey glanced around the room. Several sets of eyes were locked on them. She set her gaze on Quinn again and smiled. “I’m going to excuse myself and go to the restroom. I’m also going to lean down and kiss you as I leave, okay? Because that’s what someone who’s madly in love with you would do.” Quinn looked at her, finally. “You know, for the room.” Lacey motioned with her head and whispered, “They’re watching our every move.”
Quinn gave a slight nod, her expression a little brighter. “I’ll probably take your hand and pull you down to me. Maybe whisper something in your ear before you kiss me.”
“Perfect. Your eyes should stay on my ass as I walk away too. You know, because my ass is pretty great.”
Quinn giggled, the light returning to her eyes. “I can’t disagree with that.”
“Of course, you can’t. You also can’t deny that you liked gripping it with both hands during that love scene.”
Quinn gasped. “I did not! I was wearing a fake cast. How could I possibly…”
“Second take.” Lacey gestured with her hands, making a squeezing motion. “Tight grip. I’m going to stand up now. Ready?”
Quinn leaned back, letting her hand dangle off the arm of the chair, ready to take Lacey’s. “Action, baby.”
Lacey slowly stood up. Quinn’s eyes traveled down her body and then back up. They got stuck on Lacey’s tits for a few long seconds. Lacey casually stood next to her. “This is where you stop looking at my tits and take my hand.”
Quinn did just that, pulling Lacey down to her and whispering in her ear. “You’re by far the most beautiful woman in the room.”
Lacey pulled back and smiled, their noses almost touching. “Second most.” She leaned in for the kiss but pulled back again, her eyes falling to the floor. “Sorry,” she whispered. A kiss landed on Quinn’s forehead and then Lacey was off, hurrying to the restroom.
Get your shit together. Lacey stared at herself in the mirror. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t kiss Quinn and not fall apart, or worse, convey everything she was feeling with that kiss. A fake kiss? Fucking impossible at this point. She was too far gone.
Where was that façade? That armor made of cynicism and sarcasm that she wore so well? A tear fell from her eye and made its way down her cheek. “Shit.” She hastily wiped it away and closed her eyes, taking in several deep breaths like she’d learned from those yoga videos.
She needed something to be angry about. She could hide her true feelings with anger. But nothing came to mind. And then, it came to her like a flash and she narrowed her eyes at her reflection in the mirror. She wasn’t good enough. She wasn’t Ginny Strong. Yeah, she was good enough to be the fake girlfriend. Good enough to be a love interest on TV. But when it came to real life, Lacey Matthews wasn’t quite good enough for Quinn Kincaid.
She sucked up her emotions with a deep breath and patted her cheeks with a wet paper towel, then headed for the door.
“Sorry. That kiss was an epic fail. I’ll do better next time.” Lacey slid back into her chair. “Who’s that asshole who can’t take his eyes off of me? Black sweater at your four o’clock.”
“Huh?” Quinn had already finished another glass of wine. “Oh. I dated him a few times. It was years ago.” Apparently, she had thought nothing of the second non-kiss. If it bothered her, she didn’t have a chance to say so because the waiter arrived with their meals.
Lacey looked at the salad sitting in front of her and frowned. On any normal day, a spinach and strawberry salad with warm goat cheese would have seemed downright decadent, but somehow it lost its appeal when sitting across from a macaroni dish that looked like it had been prepared by Jesus himself. Quinn gave the first bite to Lacey. “I’d love to share with you.”
Lacey took the bite and covered her mouth. “Oh my god, that’s good.”
Quinn took the fork back. “I can’t wait to taste it.” She took a bite and moaned. “Mmm…you’re right.” She pushed the plate into the middle of the table.
“You’re a good friend.” Lacey picked up her fork and took another bite.
“Yes, I am.” Quinn reached across the table and set the salad aside. “And good friends don’t let their BFFs eat salad when there’s mac n’ cheese on the table.”
“BFF? Is that what I am, now?” Better than nothing, I guess.
Quinn picked up her glass of wine. “Here’s to my best friend. Lacey Matthews.”
Good god. Lacey picked up her glass and smiled. “Best friends.”
***
After dinner, Lacey stood in front of the restaurant
, waiting for the valet. Quinn came out after having used the restroom. “I can’t drive,” she said, slurring her words and wobbling on her heels.
Lacey took hold of her elbow, steadying her. “I know. I’m fine to drive.” She’d stopped after one glass of wine when she noticed that Quinn was on her third. So much for getting drunk, but it was probably for the best. She didn’t need to drunk text her “best friend” in the middle of the night, professing her undying love. Just the thought made her cringe in her Manolos. Note to self: stay sober for the next twenty years.
“There’s a camera across the street.” Lacey was getting good at spotting them.
Quinn stepped closer and put a hand on Lacey’s waist. “Maybe you could hold me and whisper something sweet in my ear.”
Lacey smirked. “Or, you could just pretend I whispered something sweet in your ear, like any good actor would do.”
Quinn shook her head. “Nah, I’m going to need the real thing so I can react properly.”
“Fine.” She wrapped her arm around Quinn’s shoulders, leaving one hand on her waist. “How’s this?” she whispered in her ear. “If there was music, we could dance like this.”
“Mmm…” Quinn closed her eyes and put her hand on Lacey’s shoulder.
“Do you like to dance, Ms. Kincaid? Sloooow dance?” Lacey asked, keeping her voice low.
“Yeah, I do.”
Lacey turned and let her lips caress a warm cheek. “Save a dance for me, then.” She wasn’t sure what she meant by that. The words had just slipped from her mouth. Good thing Quinn was just this side of drunk.
Quinn’s head popped up. “Oooh, there’s a song I really like. I mean, it’s silly. And so cliché. How many weddings has that dumb song been played at?”
Lacey didn’t want to know. It would be so much better to never know. But she couldn’t help herself when they got in the car and closed the doors, shutting out the world. The silence was deafening for a moment. “What’s the song?”
Quinn chuckled. “It’s just a stupid love song, Lace.”