by Lee Walsh
Woodfolk were a rare breed of tree; tall and slender and rich with green leaves. The only thing separating them from the rest of the trees around the forest was that these trees had legs – short legs for such long bodies, but legs meaning they could walk around the forests and help the birds and insects and animals of the forest take shelter when the winter came. Winter was only around the corner and the woodfolk were on the move trying to find animals to help.
One should always approach woodfolk slowly, very slowly. They were a timid bunch and, if startled, would cause quite a fuss in the forest. There were three woodfolk walking towards us in the forest, they mustn't have noticed we were there.
“Stop,” whispered Brownbeard. “Woodfolk!”
The rest of us got down on the ground and remained as still as we possibly could. Nobody wanted to scare the woodfolk. We watched as animals, insects and birds climbed into and landed on the trees as the trees walked around. A beautiful sight indeed – the type of sight where you learn that nature really does know what she's doing. Unfortunately, Billy never listened in school and that included biology lessons where we had learned about woodfolk.
“Why are we lying down?” Billy asked me.
“Woodfolk,” I said in a loud whisper. “Shush!”
“Why? What are woodfolk?” Billy stood up and looked to the left and right and straight ahead.
There was a huge roar that echoed through the forest. Animals, insects, and birds escaped the forest and ran away from the deafening screech. We were pinned to the ground by an incredible number of creatures escaping the woodfolk and if we'd stood up, our heads would also have been taken, Melody was a safe, body-less head.
Chaos wrapped itself around us and herds of animals ran past like some sort of stampede. The shrieking of the woodfolk died down after some time.
We climbed to our feet and were surrounded by woodfolk from all over. Others had come at the sounding of the alarms.
“You,” said the all of the woodfolk in one, deep rumbling voice – enough to make one's knees shake. “You come here into our forest when we are helping all the little creatures and saving them from certain death in the harsh winter. Why have you come here?” It was an incredible sight and it was an incredible sound. I didn't know how to react.
“Why are the trees talking, Eric?” asked Billy.
“Shut up, Billy,” replied Wanda.
Winston studiously looked at the trees and was the first of us all to speak up.
“My friendly woodfolk, it is I, Winston Eggplant, and my friends, the Wizards on a Rampage. We have come in peace and are on a quest to bring down the elves.”
“What elves?” the trees replied.
“You are unaware of the oppression that our kingdom has come under because of the tranquillity you have here. You are all aware of who I am and what my mission in life is, do not forget. Leave us be,” Winston said who sounded like a mad scientist who knew what he was talking about.
“Very well, but first you must go on a quest for us. For this winter will be the darkest and coldest Mayr has seen in a long time.” Great, another bloody quest.
“You must go to Ark-Gaiu and crown the prince and sole heir to the throne,” the trees said.
Well, I thought, that would have been a great plan had it not been for our current quest of bringing down the regime. Crowning them with a new prince would have been a bad idea – quite possibly the worst idea ever.
“With a solitary ruler, us woodfolk can live in true tranquillity with no fear of being chopped down for wood in their cities,” they said.
“Fine,” said Winston. “We will do as you request.”
“B.. but...” I began but was interrupted by Winston.
“Shush,” he said. “Just trust me.”
The woodfolk allowed us to pass them and provided us with fruit from their leaves as a peacekeeper.
“How'd you manage that, Winston?” Eric asked.
“The trees don't care who's in power,” Winston replied. “They are forest people and forest people don't care so much for politics because it never changes for them. They will forever remain in fear of being in someone's fireplace. Fact of life, I'm afraid.”
+
Our end goal was in sight. Ark-Gaiu was close, I could feel my nerves becoming aware of this fact and as we drew closer, they became a bit of a wreck. I didn't know what was to come of us all, nor did I want to find out. I just wanted to go home and write a letter to the landlord of the pub. Surely, he'd have understood that his prices were a little on the high side.
“Look, over there,” shouted Billy. “That's a bloody big city. Where are we?”
“That, my dear boy, is none other than Ark-Gaiu – home of the elves,” replied Eric.
“Let me see,” said the head of a weakened Melody as her life force began to drain from her leaving a mess on the floor behind us. Wanda, who still carried the head of her beloved sister, tried to seal the neck area to stem the oozing blood.
Wanda lifted Melody's head to her level and both just looked down at the magnificent city of Ark-Gaiu. A glorious city with towering buildings throughout and walls which could not be penetrated. The whole city looked to glow with golden glitter from the sun. A truly magnificent city; one fit for angels and inhabited by devils.
Our party stood on the top of a hill at the edge of a dark forest, this was the first time most of us had ever seen Ark-Gaiu and our army was ready for battle.
“It's very nice,” said Billy.
“Yes, but within its walls live some of the most horrendous beings known to the whole of Mayr,” Eric replied.
“Who's that then?” Billy asked.
“Billy, have you not listened to anything anyone has said since we left Ecklewood?” I asked.
“Not really, I've been playing with the little people,” he replied.
“First, we eat then sleep and drink. Tomorrow, we battle!” said Brownbeard with fire in his voice.
I looked over at Ark-Gaiu completely gobsmacked. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Dragons, flying overhead guarding the city. Many people rushing around within the walls which I could just see over the top of into a busy marketplace in the centre. Hundreds of towers and a huge castle fit for a king.
Just outside the city walls appeared to be an event of celebration. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people seemingly enjoying what was going on.
“So many orcs outside can only mean one thing,” said Brownbeard, noticing a large number of orcs guarding the event.
“No orcs inside?” I asked.
“Important people at the event,” replied Melody who was beginning to look weaker and weaker by the second.
“Wanda, you know what to do now,” said Winston. Wanda had been quiet for some time and had only spent the last couple of days talking to her sister's head.
Wanda looked up at Winston and looked down at the head of her sister. A solitary tear began to roll down her cheek as she nodded in agreement. I'm pretty sure that if Melody had had a neck to use, she would have also nodded.
“I know what to do,” said Melody.
Winston, knowing what Melody was talking about, pulled out the bottle of incredibly explosive black gold from his robe.
“You won't feel a thing,” said Winston.
“I know,” replied Melody.
Wanda walked off with her sister's head for a chat while the rest of us watched the event unfold below. It appeared to be a big event just outside the city of Ark-Gaiu with many people gathered enjoying themselves. We couldn't make out the people but they most certainly enjoyed themselves with alcohol and music.
The rest of us discussed different strategies. We needed a plan of action to infiltrate the elven city. We couldn't fail in this. One attempt to bring down the elves. One attempt which would either render us dead or freedom for the whole of Mayr.
+
Wanda returned to the group with the head of her sister remaining somewhat alive.
“I'm ready,” she
said in a saddened voice.
The rest of us looked at her and tried to offer a smile of comfort before we headed towards the gates of the elven city of Ark-Gaiu. A song of brave warriors was running through my head and I whistled along to it as we made our descent down the steep decline. The rest of Ark-Gaiu seemed distracted so this was our time to become living heroes or dead heroes. Either way, we'd be heroes so I didn't mind so much. And a dead one, based on the artist's impression on the posters of me in Ecklewood, I'd be remembered as a handsome hero which made it all the more comforting.
Brownbeard was itching to move forward and attack the attendees of whatever the special event was in our field of vision. Our decline was slow and, as we got to the bottom, Eric came up with a plan.
Everyone agreed to Eric's plan and everyone had their places.
Wanda, being the witch she was, created ears for us all and changed our clothes into something more suitable. Our ears grew points on the top of them whilst Brownbeard was fine to venture into any event he chose. Dwarves were the military of Mayr and, despite being imprisoned in their town as much as wizards were in Ecklewood, were free to roam the lands in their hunts for trolls or other creatures as long as they were back before the tea time curfew. It wasn't tea time and Brownbeard didn't need the ears. Instead, he made for the event on his own to see what was going on.
We arrived at the event and saw many happy faces, the jugglers were dancing and the dancers were juggling. Laughter and joy enshrouded themselves around us and this brought a smile to my face.
The smile on my face watching the joyous celebrations quickly disappeared upon hearing words I didn't want to hear at that moment in time.
“Elves! Get them!” someone from the crowd of happy people shouted and pointed directly at us. The other people at the event turned to face us. I looked around but couldn't see any elves. This soon brought me to the realisation that these people weren't actually elves – they were wizards. Wizards just having the time of their lives outside of Ecklewood. Who had given them permission for this event right on the doorstep of Ark-Gaiu? More importantly, what was the price of beer at this event?
“We're not elves, we're wizards,” Billy shouted to the rest of us. He was panicked and flustered as we ran as fast as our legs could carry us away from the tents and performers.
“We know that,” shouted Eric running out of breath. “But they don't.”
We ran to a safe distance to stop as the crowd turned back to the events in play for their occasion.
“What was that?!” I asked Winston.
“No idea,” he replied with a puzzled look about him. “But I'm keen on finding out. Wanda, could you get rid of these ears?”
“I can't,” said Wanda. “It's a time-related spell and we have one hour.”
“They'll still be there in one hour, we've just got to keep a distance until the ears are gone,” replied Eric.
Brownbeard was our safest option now, he's the only one who'd be accepted into the event without questions. He'd left us and joined the party while the rest of us just sat and waited for the ears to un-grow themselves.
“Why don't I do this now?” said Wanda looking at the slowly dying head of her sister, “I could sneak up there and do it.”
“Do what?” asked Billy.
“Just do it, Wanda,” Winston said. “Your sister needs to see it for herself.”
“Okay,” Wanda replied standing up with the head and asking Winston for the explosive liquid. “It's time.”
The rest of us didn't know what Wanda was going to do. I assumed she meant she was going to bury her sister's head in the ground so she could have a proper send-off but soon realised that wasn't the case when she asked for the liquid. I'd never been to a burial with explosives before.
Wanda gave her sister one final drink of the explosive black liquid and poured the liquid that remained into the mouth of her sister – emptying the entire contents of the bottle. Her sister kept as much of the liquid in her mouth and cheeks as possible. Wanda crept towards the walls of the elven city undetected and lifted the head which now looked like a hamster called Perseus storing food in its cheeks and threw the head straight over the walls and into the depths of the elven city. The explosive liquid could only mix with oxygen for a certain length of time before combusting and that it did.
An almighty explosion rang out. The air rippled causing my sight to blur and my ears to deafen. A few seconds passed and I rubbed my eyes, the blinding light subdued and I looked over at the event outside of Ark-Gaiu. I couldn't hear the people there and I could see they were cheering and celebrating. Jumping up and down with joy at the effective destruction of part of the centre of Ark-Gaiu – these people were on our side.
The rest of us awaited Wanda to return and she did soon after. She was out of breath, sweating and panting and crying. As she arrived back with us, she wrapped her arms around me and I gave her the tightest hug. She knew what she had done.
“Your sister's death will not be in vain, Wanda,” I whispered.
“I know,” she said, fighting back the tears. “She thanked me before I hurled her head over the wall with a smile on her face.”
“We'll avenge your sister's death and she will watch down on us knowing that she helped the whole of Mayr become a free realm once again,” I said.
“I know,” said Wanda.
“And you'll see just how wonderful we can really be when given the freedom,” I replied.
“Yes, Percy,” said Wanda as she looked over at the event.
“Then we'll always have our own stories to tell,” I assured Wanda.
“Yes,” she said.
“And you'll be included,” I said.
“I know,” she replied.
“You're not listening are you?” I asked.
Wanda started clapping at the sight of Brownbeard juggling at the event and showing off.
+
As promised, our ears grew back to a rounded shape after one hour or so. When they had fully restored to their normal shape, we walked towards the event where Brownbeard could be heard enjoying himself. We couldn't see him but he wasn't so difficult to find being a dwarf amongst wizards.
The party-goers welcomed each of us with open arms and crowned us with flowery necklaces. They invited us to join in the fun and games which we couldn't refuse. The first thing I wanted to do was to check the price of the beer at such an event of happy proportions. I consumed the free (FREE!) beer very happily – even I, at this point, was as happy as Larry. Beer tastes better when it's free and my own personal quest in life was now complete. Unfortunately, I'd got myself involved in this other quest, however, so I had to continue in helping out where I could – and babysitting Billy who was still enjoying his time with the gnomes.
Walking around and taking in the festivities, I noticed one face which looked like someone I once knew. A face with a smile from ear to ear; a face which recognised mine. I walked towards the face with a smile on my own face and the other wizard walked towards me.
“Where are your friends?” I asked.
“Dead,” the old wise man of Hanging Gardens said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Dead,” he replied. “They offered themselves as cushioning for the landing as we each jumped from Hanging Gardens.”
“Wow,” I couldn't believe what he was telling me. The three wise men of Hanging Gardens had jumped to their deaths to allow one of them to survive in order to attend an event of entertainment outside Ark-Gaiu.
“What's this event for?” I asked him.
“Event? This is no event, my friend,” the wizard answered. “This is the rebellion, the uprising of the Wizards on a Rampage. We've been planning this event forever and when you showed up, we realised that it was now time to do something.”
“You can't use our name,” I said.
“It's not your name,” he replied. “It's your destiny. These people are here for you, Percy.”
“What?” I aske
d. My eyes surveyed the surroundings and my puzzled look became more of a look of utter confusion.
“These people are here for you, Percy,” the man repeated.
“Yes yes, I heard you but what do you mean?” I asked.
“You are the one, the chosen one and you will lead us to a glorious new beginning. Your story will be told for millennia,” he claimed.
“What?” one of my eyebrows involuntarily raised which made me listen more.
“You are the...” he stated.
“Yes, I know that,” I interrupted. “But what do you mean?”
“You'll see,” the man said with a grin on his face. “It's such a pleasure to be working with you, sir.”
“Why aren't the orcs doing anything about us being here?” I asked.
“Everyone knows that orcs are mercenaries,” the wise man said. “We raised enough money from The Bank of Wizardry for your quest, Percy.”
“My quest?” I asked, surprised at Englebert's generosity and wondering what excuse they had given him to get the funding for such a remarkable quest.
The rest of the day I spent strolling around and just taking in the joy shared amongst these people. I didn't know what to think of the wise man calling me 'the one' once again but I didn't correct him. I was beginning to feel like 'the one' but finishing the title with 'who doesn't know what on Mayr is going on.'
I found my friends, Billy laughing at some clowns performing the strangest of acts. Eric and Wanda sat inside an open tent and drank the beer – which was free. Winston was sat talking to some old friends who he mustn't have seen for hundreds of years while Brownbeard could be heard all around enjoying himself. I eventually followed the rather loud voice of Brownbeard and walked into a tent with the curtains closed.
“You could have knocked!” he said as the two supposedly female dwarves got up and ran out as naked as the day they were born.
“Knock on what, exactly?” I asked, pointing to the curtains.
“Well, I was enjoying myself then,” said Brownbeard.
“I know,” I replied. “Everyone here knows.”