Soul Selecta

by Gill McKnight

  “Please. Would you mind keeping the noise down?” Death hissed and turned away, his fingers still plugging his ears.

  “At least I’ve never sat in a hole for a million years.”

  “You couldn’t find a hole unless you looked between your ears.” Sellie hit back.

  “If I did you’d probably sit in it.”

  “That does it! You two are so selfish.” Death dematerialized in a huff.

  “Is he always that dramatic?” Sellie asked.

  “Every night is Emmy night.”

  Seconds later, Death popped back pale and sweating.

  “That was quick,” Soul Selector said.

  “Is everything all right?” Sellie asked.

  “No, it isn’t.” Death gasped for air. “I feel sick.”

  “You rematerialized too fast.” Soul Selector felt obliged to point out.

  “It’s not that.” Death was waving a finger toward the pool. “Jesse is in there.”

  “Huh?” Soul Selector looked to where he was pointing. It dawned on her that she hadn’t seen Jesse since the audience with Zeus. The emergence of Sellie from the pit had taken up all her attention.

  “She’s in the pool,” Death babbled. “I got a message from my office. Jesse’s down as a double entry in the logbook.”

  “What?” Sellie and Soul Selector asked in unison.

  “She’s already dead. She can’t go and die on me again. It’s greedy, and she’s weally screwed up my ops system. The girls in the office are furious.”

  “She’s dying?” Soul Selector stood at the edge of the pool and glared at its surface. “In here?” The water was perfectly calm; there was barely a ripple. “What? Why?” She couldn’t form her question. She wasn’t even sure what her question was. What was Death burbling on about?

  “What are you burbling about?” she finally said.

  “Tricky things, scrying pools.” Sellie came and stood beside her. “Oh, there she is. Who’s that with her?”

  “What?” Soul Selector could see nothing. What was the imbecile talking about?

  “Whoever she is she’s not on my schedule.” Death had joined them at the pool. “Why is everyone trying to jump the queue today?” He was very miffed.

  “I don’t know, but let’s go see,” Sellie said.

  “See what?” Soul Selector glared as hard as she could. Slowly, the silt and muddy shadows shifted. She wasn’t sure, but thought she could make out the vague outline of a miserable, rain-soaked beach.

  “It’s raining,” she said, pleased that she could finally see what the other two were prattling on about.

  “It’s more than raining,” Sellie said. “It’s a full on Atlantic gale. Jump!” She plunged in headfirst, soaking the other two with the splash.

  “What the—” Soul Selector jumped back, shaking water drops from her cloak.

  “Oh, now that’s clever,” Death said and leaped in after Sellie. Soul Selector stood shocked. What in Hades? He’d jumped in, and he was usually such a wimp. Cautiously, she toed the water. Nothing happened.

  She pushed her foot further in. Still nothing happened. She took another teeny-weeny toe poke…and slipped.

  “Aaah!” She landed with a thud on Donegal sand. Death and Sellie were standing nearby. Their hair whipped crazily in the wind, and Sellie’s cloak streamed away from her like crazy bat wings.

  “What kept you?” Death asked. “We’re freezing.” Somewhere along the way, he had acquired a bright yellow sailing jacket, waterproof pants, and a captain’s sailing cap. He looked very snug and shipshape.

  “So what happens next?” Soul Selector asked. She had no idea why they were here. She hated the earth realm. Everything was so textured and smelly. The wind was battering her senseless, and she envied Death his weatherproof garb.

  “We need to get them out.” Sellie pointed to two tiny heads bobbing up and down on the distant sea swell.

  “In all Hades!” Soul Selector gasped. Her soul mates! And what was Jesse doing with Norrie? This was a blatant disregard of the rules. Her rules. “What do they think they’re doing?”

  “They’re drowning,” Death informed her.

  “Oh no, you don’t!” she yelled at him. “It’s bad enough one of them is prematurely dead. I’m damned if you’re dumping the other one on me.”

  “She’s not on my schedule,” Death shouted back. “Everyone’s cheating.”

  “You cheat death by avoiding it, you idiot!”

  “Your friends are failing to float,” Sellie interrupted. “We really need to get them out. Can either of you swim?”

  “He’s in the waterproofs.” Soul Selector placed a hand on Death’s back and launched him into the tide. She’d been doing that a lot recently and enjoying it. “Go and save somebody for once.”

  A large wave ebbed away from the shore, dragging him out with it. His squeal could be heard over the howling gale.

  Sellie moved closer.

  “It’s hard time here, isn’t it?” she asked.

  “So?”

  “So can you make it soft? That way we can try to slow it down, or maybe even reverse it?”

  Soul Selector didn’t like the question. She was not very good at playing with hard versus soft time. Good at talking about it, but not actually manipulating it.

  “I can’t do that,” she said. “Only the gods are allowed to change Earth time. It’s the rules.”

  Sellie clucked her tongue disapprovingly. “What use have the rules ever been to you?”

  Soul Selector bristled, Sellie was talking nonsense, as if a mere soul selector could twiddle time like the hands on a wristwatch.

  “Rules are necessary things. The more they annoy the better they are,” she said, a little snippily.

  Something shifted. She barely noticed it at first until the waves began to rise and fall in slow motion and the wind fell against her face like a heavy, damp blanket. Death reappeared dripping wet at her side. His whole body shook and seawater poured out of the sleeves of his jacket. Sellie had illegally tampered with the time flow and managed to do so easily.

  “I can see why you were retired early.” Soul Selector sulked. “Flawed model,” she muttered to Death.

  “You pushed me in!” He shook with cold down to his boots.

  “And now you’re a hero,” she said, looking behind him. “Where are they?”

  “Jesse is back by the pool and the other one is over there.” Sellie pointed to a solitary walker farther up the beach. “She’s coming this way, only this time there’ll be no Jesse to befuddle her.”

  “It’s illegal for the likes of you to turn back time,” Soul Selector said.

  “It saved them,” Sellie pointed out.

  “If you could change the flow of time then why did I have to be pushed in?” Death wanted to know.

  “Because it was fun,” Soul Selector snapped.

  “Because hard and soft time don’t affect you here.” Sellie ignored her and explained it to him. “You’re an otherworld entity. The rules of this world aren’t applicable to you. If I had failed to tweak time then at least you were there to help in your own special way. Think of yourself as Plan B.”

  “He’d have killed them both,” Soul Selector said. “That’s his own special way. Unless you’re a dog,” she added, “dogs go free.”

  Death refused to look at her. “Can we go home now?” he asked. He looked miserable. “This wealm’s wules of cold and wet seem to be applicable to me.”

  “Really? You must be supersensitive,” Sellie said with approval in her voice.

  “Why, thank you.” He brightened up a little. “I am a little sensitive.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake, I’m calling a quorum on your mutual appreciation society. We need to get back to the pool before Jesse does something else beyond stupid.” Soul Selector was anxious to catch up with Jesse and tie her to the nearest jacaranda tree until she had an idea of what to do with her.

  “Okay then, back through the portal, I su
ppose.” Sellie trudged off up the beach.

  Portal? Soul Selector watched as Sellie retraced her steps and Death squelched dejectedly behind her. The wind leaped out of its engineered lethargy and slapped her sharply in the face. It was a wake-up call. Time had returned to normal, and Norrie was trudging down the beach, coming closer. Soul Selector had no idea how to transport back to the pool. Sellie’s cloak billowed in the wind, enveloping both her and Death. The cloak snapped away into nothingness taking Sellie and Death with it.

  “No.” Soul Selector hurried after them. She was unsure how Sellie did it. She hurried after the footprints hoping there was a way she could hang on to their coattails. Her eyes blurred and the beach wavered. She lost balance as sand slid out from under her feet throwing her forward onto the muddy grass on the banks of her pool. Jacaranda blossom framed the branches above her head, and she had to hold on to a tree trunk to steady herself. Sellie, Jesse, and Death stood a few feet away. Death was dressed in another lurid shell suit. He was warm and dry and looking much happier. Soul Selector sort of regretted throwing him in the tide. Jesse stood to the side as sullen as any teenager forced to hang with the grownups. She seemed in a world of her own barely noticing the other two.

  “What were you thinking?” Soul Selector descended on her at full volume.

  “I’m not going to wait around for you and Typhoid Mary here to come up with a plan. I’m going to look after myself,” Jesse roared back.

  “Maway was a good friend of mine.” Death looked hurt.

  Sellie dropped an arm around Jesse’s hunched shoulders and was allowed to keep it there, much to Soul Selector’s disgust. Sellie sneaked in everywhere. She’d have to keep an eye on her.

  “You can’t go back to earth. You’re dead. You’re breaking all the rules!” Her worry made her shout louder.

  “Give the kid a break,” Sellie said. “It’s hard for her. She shouldn’t be here. It’s normal for her to want to follow her heart.”

  “Like you’re the expert?” Soul Selector said. “Where did your errant soul mate end up, huh?”

  Sellie stiffened, then looked away. She didn’t answer.

  “I knew it!” Soul Selector said. “She’s sitting in another hole somewhere.”

  “I don’t care if she’s sitting on your head,” Jesse said. “I want to be with Norrie and soon, or else I’m going back.”

  “If you go back you’ll kill her,” Sellie said. “She walked into the sea, Jesse. What does that tell you?”

  “Why did she do that?” Death asked. “My office was in turmoil. She was completely unscheduled. We can’t have people dying on a whim. Hades will have my hide for wallpaper.” He looked worried. Aphrodite was an A-list bitch, but the Lord of the Underworld was a complete bastard to work for. For an instant, Soul Selector felt sorry for him, then she remembered what he’d gotten her into.

  “Good,” she said. “He can turn your spangled hide into a disco ball for all I care.”

  “Why did Norrie want to kill herself?” Jesse asked Sellie.

  “She’s always been on the verge,” Sellie said. “A singular soul mate is a sad, lonely being, an unnatural creation. Soul mates are destined to exist in a state of togetherness, and when left alone they drift into a terrible depression that dogs their existence. They live in a state of non-fulfillment no matter how materially successful they may be. For Norrie, despair is always waiting around the corner because you aren’t.”

  “But I would have made all that better!” Jesse exploded. “Yet she didn’t even see me.”

  “She couldn’t see you because you don’t exist in her reality. You died long ago, Jesse. And by being there, by being close to her, you magnified her despair to the point of suicide.”

  “I’m sorry, Jesse,” Death said. “The dead can’t go back.”

  “And especially not soul mates,” Soul Selector added. “Especially.”

  “So I’ll kill her if I’m with her?” Despair filled Jesse’s eyes. “Well, that sucks.”

  “Yes. It does,” Sellie said.

  “Will she remember she tried to kill herself today? I couldn’t bear for her to.” Jesse roughly brushed the last of her tears away.

  “But she didn’t,” Sellie said. “Time changed. She didn’t meet you, she didn’t react, so she didn’t harm herself.”

  “But if Norrie did die would we be together?” Jesse asked.

  “No. She’ll be put in the reincarnation queue and that will be that.” Soul Selector was tired of pointing out the obvious to a kid who wouldn’t listen. “Due to your philanthropy for the canine species you are now seriously out of sync with each other. It will be thousands of years until you line up again, that’s if Aphrodite hasn’t exterminated you first. Imagine star-crossed lovers, only one of you is an asteroid heading for a black hole.” The silence that greeted her outburst made Soul Selector wonder if she’d been too blunt. But what the heck, the kid had asked. Why not tell her the truth?

  Chapter Thirty-two

  “I’m sorry.” Norrie held Loa’s gaze. It was unbearable to see the hurt in her beautiful eyes. She had had this conversation countless times with many other lovers. The “The End” conversation. The “It’s Over” one. This time it hurt her more. It was frightening, but she had to do it, for both their sakes.

  “Wow,” Loa said, her voice thickening. She took an audible swallow and looked away. “I thought we were doing well. Didn’t see this coming.” She looked confused and embarrassed and tried to compose herself by picking lint from her skirt. “Can I ask why? I mean did I do anything?” It was an honest, straightforward question, nothing plaintive or wheedling about it.

  “No,” Norrie said. “It definitely isn’t you.” She was wary of the old platitudes she used to trot out so easily. “And it’s not me either,” she said quickly. “I’m not blaming either of us. No one’s at fault. In my heart, I know you’re not what I need. You’re lovely. You’re a gorgeous, kind, caring person, and you should know that about yourself.”

  Loa was crying now. Tears freely ran down her face. Norrie drew her into her arms.

  “I’m not like you,” she said. “I’m not magical. I can’t reach out and help people. I hide in my songs and play act through them. One day, I’ll be what I write about.”

  “You’re hollow. You feel hollow,” Loa said. “I know what this is. I feel like that, too, sometimes. This is the closest I have ever been to where I emotionally want to be. And to be honest, I’m afraid to be on my own.”

  “I get frightened, too.” Norrie understood what Loa was saying. “I get bad dreams and days when I don’t want to be on the planet, never mind out of bed.” She took a deep breath and said, “I suffer from chronic depression, Loa. And I’m slipping into a bad place and I want to be there alone. I can’t have you around me at the moment. I need to focus on myself. It sounds selfish, but that’s the way it is.”

  She had been fine, actually. She’d even been applauding her new relationship. Loa stabilized her. They had so much in common, especially on an emotional level. If humans gave out a humming noise then she and Loa were on the same wavelength; they buzzed along on the same megahertz. She had felt great. There was a fabulous passion between them, a fantastic heat. And then black clouds began to gather. Literally. She had been on the beach watching a storm off to the west of Arranmore. Storms usually energized her, she loved them, but this one was a big, black bastard. It had crowded in on her giving her migraines and tossing her emotions about as if she was in its epicenter, and it sucked the soul right out of her.

  She’d returned home windswept and miserable, and it had only gotten worse. In the following days, she slipped back in the depression she knew so well. The descent into this pit was well mapped out across her life. She knew it for what it was and what she had to do to emerge from it. Loa was simply a casualty. Yet another one, like her performance career, and every previous lover. All sacrificed to the monstrous parasite that sucked on her mind, body, and soul.

&nbs
p; “I’m sorry, Loa.” She was crying now.

  “I understand.” Already Loa was gathering her coat and purse. “Really I do. If it’s not the perfect fit, you don’t want it. I can be like that, too. But for me you were a real close fit, Norrie. I want you to know that.”

  Norrie watched Loa drive away, torn as to whether she’d done the right thing even though she knew it would be cruel to use her as a life raft. In this life, Norrie had to learn over and over how to keep herself afloat.

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Jesse had her back to the pool. She sat several yards away in a copse of willow, all of her own making. The green curtain gave her privacy. She felt exposed and angry. Her impatience had put Norrie into danger. She was so powerless. No matter what she did, they might never be united. Her life, or death, or whatever it was, was a litany of error, bad luck, and downright shittiness. She had to be with Norrie, absolutely had to, but how?

  “You’ve made another lovely environment.” Sellie’s voice came from somewhere behind her. “Were you a landscape architect before you died?”

  “I was a teenager.”

  “Ah.” For some reason Sellie took that as an invitation to sit beside her. “I thought you looked young, but it’s hard to tell on the Fields. It could have been your essence made you seem younger.”

  Jesse grunted. She pushed up onto her heels preparing to walk away.

  “Have you any new ideas on how to get to her?”

  The question held her in place. “I wish I had. Do you?”

  “No.” Sellie looked around her, very taken with the greenery. “You’ve been very ingenious the way you’ve managed this place,” she said. “Most souls would have eaten the orange and that would be that.”

  “So I’d be fast asleep when Aphrodite came for me?” With a snort, Jesse sat back down.

  “Or she might not have noticed you at all.”

  Jesse thought this over then said, “She would have. She has a trigger, and it’s not me.”